- Doesn't this look like fish?
(laughter)
- I kind of wish I didn't see this.
(upbeat, jazzy music)
- Hey everybody, I'm Merle, and today
I'm gonna be having a little bit of fun with my coworkers.
Not so long ago I did a video where I
fooled my coworkers into eating a pulled pork sandwich
that was made out of banana peels.
(choking)
- Like, a peel?
Like the trash?
- I'm eating compost!
- Today I'm making vegan lox out of carrots.
I know a lot of people are probably thinking,
why would you purposefully cut something
out of your diet and then try to recreate it?
We all use alternatives, all the time.
We have sugar-free versions of things,
we have low fat versions of things.
I'm gonna stand here and tell you
as soon as I went vegan I stopped craving meat and cheese.
It's just not true.
So instead of feeling guilty about that,
I tried to meet somewhere in the middle.
Hopefully I can fool some of my coworkers
into thinking that I'm serving them lox.
It's time for these carrots to shine.
First thing we're gonna do is to salt them like crazy.
It's time.
I'm gonna go roast these, and then we can
prepare our marinade.
This part is supposed to be really, really easy,
because I'm just taking all of my ingredients
and I'm processing them together.
Cup of water, some soy sauce.
Got two tablespoons of capers,
two tablespoons of caper liquid,
which is just the liquid that comes in the jar
of canned capers.
You know what I mean.
And then canola oil.
Now we have smoked paprika.
Some garlic powder, and finally some salt.
(blender whirs)
Okay, last thing.
I'm gonna add this nori sheet.
It's gonna give it that fishy flavor
that you would get from salmon.
All right, so.
Our carrots are roasted.
They look kinda weird.
They look like carrots that have been
in the fridge for too long.
Let's just go, let's just do this thing.
Ooh!
Look at that color.
10 points on the look.
Just gets a little tricky towards the end.
Oh boy.
Ooh, check it out!
So we need to let the vegan lox rest and marinade
for 24 hours, but I went ahead and prepared some last night.
I've always wanted to say that.
(upbeat music)
(laughs) It looks weird!
Do you hear that?
When people try this, if I don't tell them
that it's not salmon, they're gonna think
they're about to have horrible, horrible food poisoning.
(laughs)
Ooh, ooh!
Wait, okay, this one's not crunchy!
I think I'm gonna fool some people.
I don't even wanna wait.
I need to go get people in here, because I'm freaking out.
Okay!
(playful violin music)
Yeah, we can make it work.
First of all.
- Sorry.
- (laughs) What are you doing?
- Oh.
I thought it was... (laughs)
I thought that you were gonna give me ice cream.
- I really don't trust you, that is not lox.
- It looks it.
It looks the part.
(sniffs)
- Wow.
- It looks like carrot.
- These looks like carrots.
(laughs)
- Oh. (laughs)
- From afar, I'd be like, wow, that's salmon!
- If I glanced at it, I would totally believe it.
- You tried to trick me.
- I did try to trick you!
I was hoping you would be deceived.
- I'm gonna eat it anyways.
- You just, the whole thing.
(chews)
- What's that doing?
- I'm aerating.
- Dude.
- That tastes like salmon.
- Oh, oh wow.
It tastes like salmon.
- I taste the smokiness that I do in...
- Salmon?
- Yes, that's what it is.
- When I used to eat fish sushi, and I didn't,
like, cheap sushi, and I didn't like it.
(laughs)
It's fish, it tastes very, very fishy.
- That's gonna be the tagline for my new vegan lox.
Tastes like cheap sushi.
(laughter)
Like, talk about this.
Doesn't this look like fish?
Look at this.
(comedic trombone music)
(laughter)
Pick a good one, 'cause some of them,
that's not a good one, that one's too crunchy.
(laughs) Don't spit it out.
- I kinda wish I didn't see this, but.
(laughter)
It's too late.
(laughter)
- This one?
- That looks good.
- Okay.
- That looks promising, oh, wow.
- Mm, wet.
It's wet.
- (laughs) Yeah, because you got a tablespoon of marinade.
- I mean lox just kinda has that fibrous, fleshy--
- Salmon has those little...
Vein things.
- I kinda wanna drink the marinade.
It's so good.
- It's good because sometimes...
Oh, I got so much oil on my face right now.
- Are you looking at me 'cause I have oil on my face?
- No, I think we both probably have a little bit.
- So I definitely do.
- I think this is delicious.
I wanna make it and put it on a salad or something.
- For anyone who says they don't like mushiness in lox,
this is a good alternative for sure.
- I think it soaks up the flavor really well,
but if you're going for lox, it's gonna be a no for me.
- It's not hitting exact lox, for me,
but this is really good.
- If it was there in the cream cheese
and it said lox, I wouldn't question it.
- Maybe like a little amuse-bouche,
maybe like a little appateaser.
- Amuse-bouche, you really don't hear that enough.
(laughs) Do you want more?
- No, go ahead.
- Thank you very much.
Have a wonderful day.
- (laughs) You're taking this entire...
- Taking it all.
- Oh, great.
- Bye, thank you.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
Seeya, Jasmine.
- [Jasmine] Bye.
- (laughs) Okay great, you can cut.
(upbeat music)