So let’s talk irritation.
Do you have people in your life that absolutely just irritate you to the Nth degree?
Why do we get so irritated with some people?
Well, it’s interesting.
There are two perspective that you can take when you’re irritated.
One perspective is the victim perspective that says, “Look, this person is just irritating
and I can’t be around them because they’re so irritating,” and so really the only option
is either feel bad – irritated, pissed off – when you’re around them, or to leave.
But there’s a second perspective that you can actually take and that’s the growth
perspective.
And that perspective says that every irritation in our life is either a reflection of a part
of ourselves we don’t like or something we’re envious about in the other person.
So let me give you an example of this.
Ten years ago, I’m on a place with my best friend and I’ve known this guys a long time
(since we were eight years old) and he’s got a habit that absolutely used to just drive
me nuts, totally irritate me.
And that is that he would ask for whatever he wanted – in fact, he would ask for what
I thought was over the top in order to get something that he wanted.
So here’s the example.
We’re sitting there on a plane.
This flight attendant comes walking by and she’s like, “Hi.
Would you like something to drink?”
“Oh, I would love something to drink, and in fact, I’ve got a special request.
I’m hoping that you can accommodate me because I’m going to challenge you.”
“Okay.
What is it?”
“Here’s the deal.
I would love a full can of Coke, a full can of Canadian ginger ale, and a handful of pretzels
and peanuts.”
“I think I can make that happen.”
And so she goes and she – boom.
Can of Coke, ginger ale, big pile of peanuts and pretzels on his tray, and I am feeling
so irritated by this.
I’m like, “Dude, he just got like five times what anyone else on this plane is going
to get.”
And so she turns to me and she goes, “Hi.
Can I get you something?”
And even though a big part of me wanted exactly what he had – I wanted the pretzels and
the peanuts and I wanted the cans – I go, “Yeah, I’ll take a Coke as well.”
And so she goes, “Okay,” opens the Coke and pours it in the cup, and hands me this
tiny little cup of Coke.
You know the glasses you get.
They’re like tiny with a little Coke in there, and then one bag of peanuts.
Well, I’m not going to eat the whole bag because it’s so big.
I was so irritated with that and when I had been taught this principle that all irritations
are either a reflection of a part of ourselves that we don’t like or something we’re
envious of.
And so I started contemplating, “What is it that – why am I so irritated that he
asks for whatever he wants?”
and it dawned on me.
There was a part of myself that I didn’t like, and that was the part that was afraid
of judgment – that if I asked for what I really wanted, that I would be judged as being
selfish or that I would be rejected.
And so instead of being the victim mindset, and just by getting irritated with my friend
and allowing myself to be irritated, I moved into the growth mindset.
I said, “How could I use this awareness to grow?”
And so I started working on my asking muscles.
I started working on the thickness of my skin, that I wouldn’t care so much what other
people thought and I wouldn’t be afraid of rejection and that I was just going to
ask for what I wanted.
So why does this story matter?
It matters because that muscle, that opportunity to grow, is what helped me grow a multiple,
six-figure business.
It’s what helped me become a published author with a major publisher in Simon & Schuster
because we asked for what it is that we wanted.
It’s what helped me become married to the woman of my dreams because I had to go up
to her and I asked for what I wanted, which is a date with her.
And by the way, she rejected me for two days straight at this event, but I kept asking
because I had grown that muscle.
And it was key for me in living a life that I love.
So my question for you is, when you’re irritated with somebody, it’s either a reflection
of something in yourself that you don’t like or something you might be envious of
in that.
So instead of moving into victim, move into growth and ask yourself, “How could I grow
in this moment?”
Is this a reflection of a part of me that I don’t like or is there something in them
that I’ve envious of that I could actually grow and improve in myself?”
And when you hold it with that mindset, it’s amazing because irritations actually become
blessings.
So thanks for watching.
I hope that serves you.
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as always, there’s a link below this video in the description with additional resources
for you to take this information deeper.
Thanks again for watching.
I’ll see you soon.