when you were a child who did you want
to be I wanted to be like my mother she
didn't wear a cape or shoot lasers out
of her eyes she was someone who wear
smile and made people more beautiful I
remember telling her clients how I
wanted to be just like her when I grow
up you'll be poor if you become like me
she told me become successful like a
doctor then you can make money and be
happy when you're a child we don't
really understand the concept of money
you just want to be happy but money buys
happiness they say from an early age my
ambitions were driven by the
expectations of others and being the
people pleaser that I was I'd spend the
rest of my youth chasing after my
mother's dream becoming successful when
I was old enough to help my mother out
at the salon it was then when I realized
how she didn't work and making people
look beautiful she made them feel
beautiful she was always smiling
but I knew behind that mask she was hurt
every other night my parents would fight
and it was always over money I wanted my
family to be happy so I grew up
determined on one day becoming
successful senior year of high school
while filling out university
applications an epiphany hit me if I
pursue my studies in medicine I'd be
spending the rest of my life fulfilling
someone else's dreams instead of my own
my intuition led me to fill out an
application for art school instead I
felt so selfish
but I had to confess to my mother she
was heartbroken and scared but as an
artist I struggled to make ends meet
like her what I promised her that I'd
find a way to take care of our family
while still pursuing my ambitions she
trusted in me and gave me her blessing
the first day of art school was special
because all new students were given
laptops this became my window to the
world a vital tool for all my creative
needs but soon enough reality would
remind me how my dreams came at a cost
and I needed to make money I found a job
listing for a beauty advisor position I
completed the interview but got rejected
yeah it sucked at first but then I was
reminded how God the universe whatever
higher power you believe in has three
answers to your prayers yes
not yet or I have something better God
was right because that's something
better happened to be the very first
Beauty video I created I was sharing my
everyday natural beauty routine nothing
groundbreaking I didn't expect anyone to
watch it but after checking back I
couldn't believe all the viewers and
comments pouring in that one video
changed the course of my journey the
early days of YouTube was magical no one
was really making videos for money but
once it was possible for creators to
monetize their videos I was able to
leave my part-time job and turn the
boodle hobby into a thriving career I
did it mom I became successful and I was
happy my channel renewed my sense of
purpose eventually my hard work paid off
and after saving up enough money my
family was taken care of first
I felt so fulfilled creating these
videos they don't feel like work it felt
more like a dream and I didn't want to
wake up my growing channel caught the
eyes of higher-ups
who grew intrigued it wouldn't be for
long until I'd be swept away by
opportunities and promises I said my
goodbyes and left my family's nest to
pursue the American dream
in the Wild West it was hard to leave my
family because they were all I ever knew
but my intuition told me to go and I had
to follow moving to a new city by
herself can feel isolating and in the
city of dreams I found myself surrounded
by people who heavily influenced my
career they had big plans and kept me
busy until that was all I ever knew busy
the taste of success was like a drug and
I couldn't get enough I figured the more
productive I am the more successful I'll
become because money buys happiness
I grew to understand how happiness came
at a cost because I had to honor what I
signed on the dotted line at that time
it was worth it I was able to retire my
mother and take care of my family like I
promised but it wasn't enough I still
had more dreams to cross off my list
once I was a girl with dreams who
eventually became a product smiling
Sally and felling who I was on camera
and who I was in real life began to feel
like strangers money can bring out the
worst in people and I was no exception
my insecurities got the worst of me I
became imprisoned by my humanity and was
never satisfied with how I looked the
life I led online was picture-perfect
but in reality I was carefully curating
the image of a life I wanted not had
money buys happiness leasing but all
dreams come to an end and I'd have to
wake up to face the harsh truth the road
to success is not only paved with
failures but you also become a target
I had to battle through several lawsuits
from people who wanted a piece of it
this nightmare took a toll on me it
nearly broke me down but I wasn't ready
to give up so I kept myself busy taking
on more projects more work become more
successful and one day you'll be happy
again staying busy was my only way I was
able to cope with all distress and
anxiety
it helped numb the pain
years would go by and I find myself
becoming more isolated and disconnected
from my family friends than you maybe
earth I'm sorry I didn't know what to do
or who to talk to
I felt so alone did I have too much
pride to let you see me at my weakest I
felt so depressed and I didn't know why
I wanted to be forgotten
so I began posting lost online during
one of my sleepless night I found myself
watching one of my earlier videos I'd
forgotten how genuine and full of life I
once was it was such an innocent time
before the money before the same I felt
like somewhere along this journey I
locked myself was it because of money I
spent my whole life chasing after
success only to find myself running away
from the very thing that mattered my
self my true self in the end I wasn't
fooling her because deep down I wasn't
happy
I've grown to learn how money can buy
many things like peace of mind comfort
status anything but happiness at this
moment I was feeling so broken when my
inner child wasn't ready to give up on
me she reminded me how it's never too
late to start over although money can't
buy happiness if there is one thing
people wish they had more of a tunnel so
that's what I did with my money I bought
myself more time time to find myself
before I lost myself my intuition told
me it was time to leave so I followed
they say if you want to fly you have to
give up everything that weighs you down
and I wanted to soar I packed up what I
could fit in a suitcase and left I left
everything my dreams success the life I
built and worked so hard for all behind
me and didn't look back I took refuge in
a place where I could find meaningful
time to heal learn and grow it was a
nature where I found peace again no
Wi-Fi no distractions just me nature and
my thoughts
this world I was disconnected from
embraced me again he nurtured my broken
spirit back to health
echoes of all the noise and anxiety that
once polluted my mind began feeding with
my mind at rest I was able to reflect
and confront my ego memories of my
blurry past began to take shape I was
reminded of all the trials I went
through and how those trials forged me
every experience choice good or bad
molded me to become the person I am
today but they don't control me
recognising this gave me the power and
freedom to finally decide what I wanted
for my own life and I wanted to be happy
you can't buy happiness but you can
create it right then and there I made a
conscious choice and effort to create
happiness around me I did so by letting
go of anything that was holding me back
and inviting things that would elevate
me in every way I wanted to learn again
so I became a student and the school is
life growth isn't for everyone some
people want to stay the same forever and
not me I was ready for growth with all
the time I was able to buy I spent most
of it learning dreaming creating and
exploring the depths of my curiosity
it wasn't happiness I was looking for it
was the truth my quest is still not over
there's still so much more for me to
discover and
and that takes time
and what now truth is I don't know yet
I just went to create and that's what
makes me happy back then I was just then
was only showing you how to look more
beautiful now I want to show you how to
feel more beautiful
if you'd like to see what I've been
working on for the past year
check out my revamp and cosmetics and I
finally fulfilled my childhood dream
creating a comic you can enjoy it for
free at Haley of Pomona comm make sure
your volume on if you'd like to hear the
sound transitive thank you for watching
and of course good luck
[Music]