CES is the largest electronics trade show in America and it's my first time attending.
I'll be honest at first I was profoundly alone but then I realized I was surrounded by people
who had done this before, expert who could help me become just like them.
Is this your first CES?
This is my second actually.
You're second?
So you're an expert compared to me, I have no experience.
I want to get through this and not feel like a pile of human sludge, how would I go about
doing that?
The best way is to just look at one of these magazines and see like what you're interested.
So they have like the planner.
They have a floor map here.
Okay.
I need two books.
You need three actually.
What!
That book is a phone book.
Okay, be honest with me.
The food is not great.
Is there a secret place that I can get good food?
Not that I know of.
No, you're not here for a culinary experience.
Do you have any general advice for like getting through this week?
Just stay hydrated and carry snacks, almonds.
Just to keep you going through everywhere.
That's all.
Do you have any almonds?
Almonds?
No.
Excuse me, do you have any almonds.
Almonds?
No, we do not have any almonds.
Excuse me, I'm wondering how I can be better at CES.
How you can be better at CES?
Uh, I dunno.
I don't know anything really about CES.
I work with the transportation company.
Oh, you work on transportation?
How do I get out of Las Vegas?
And that's where I can get the sandwich?
Thanks.
What's the best meal at Joel's?
Uh...
Is it pastrami?
I believe, no.
My choice is the brisket.
Yeah, that's my choice.
How many years have you been getting the brisket at Joel's?
Four, six years.
That's an endorsement.
Excuse me, would you be available for an interview?
How do I not get back pains?
You have to empty your backpack every night.
So don't keep adding on.
Pamphlets, everything, thousands of business cards.
What do I do after I dump it?
Do I just like burn it?
No you just save them for later.
Strange question for everybody, does anyone have almonds?
Almonds?
Like the nut?
Nope.
Okay, thank you.
Everybody has the same shoes.
Everybody has great shoes.
You look like a grownup man.
Thank you.
I look like I just got off the high school school bus.
How can I stay healthy during this week?
What is the secret?
You just have to walk.
You know?
Get a tracker, a fitness tracker.
If you get more than twenty thousand steps would be good.
I've never gotten over twenty thousands steps in my life.
Do you have almonds?
Onions?
Almonds.
If Nathan's does have almonds, I don't know who will.
How do you feel about caffeine supplements?
I mean, obviously.
What about like Red Bull?
Red Bull works.
What about like cocaine?
No comment.
Okay, Glass google how to get out of Las Vegas.
I'm in Vegas.
I don't really know what's legal and illegal.
I'm out at night.
I'm getting my drank on.
It's like two oclock in the morning.
It's dark out.
I'm going to do the safe thing.
I'm going to hire one of those self driving cars to take me home.
We're driving down the Vegas strip.
You're in the car with me.
We hit somebody.
Okay?
We think they're dead.
But we don't stop to find out.
We keep going.
What do we do?
Keep going I guess.
Keep going?
Do I get a lawyer?
Or does that like fall on Volkswagon's head?
I can't give you advice on legal things.
I'm not a lawyer.
You're wearing a suit, you look like a lawyer.
I'm faking it.
Yeah, this guy is faking it.
But, it's everyone at CES faking it?
Just pretending that they know exactly what they're doing, that they're experts.
But at least I was able to find a little bit of sincerity in this city of sin.
This is my first year and I'm doing an interview on an escalator, which seems precarious.
How can I be better?
I think you're doing a great job.
This is spontaneous.
This is off the cuff.
It's how you get the most honest answers.
On a scale from like 1-10, where would I be?
As far as interviews I've done today?
About 10.
How many interviews have you done today?
This would be the first one.
Okay, great.