(silence, the calm before the storm)
L: Happy New Year K: Will it be???
K: In this video, I will assert myself as the queen of making the worst possible life choices
In December of 2019 I read what was, at the time, your favorite book, A Little Life.
L: Oh my god there's two of them K: I hate tha-- I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
Take it down.
Put it down.
K: Does it keep me up at night that nearly a million people have seen me in my ugliest
moments...crying my eyes out?
Yes!
Yes it does!
K: For some reason, I got it in my head that it would be a good idea to--
L: Do it again!
K: Do it again.
K: So, we are here for a reread.
I've enlisted Lauren to come along with me because she said she wanted to reread it.
L: Yes!
Because the last-- so, the last time I read this book was in 2016....five years since
I have read what is "allegedly" my favorite book.
And the other part of this is that To Paradise comes out in like--
K: Ten days.
L: A week?
K: Ten days.
K + L: To Paradise-- L: We're related (shocking ik)
K: To Paradise comes out in ten days, on January 11th.
This is a pre-game.
A reread, a pre-game-- L: A commitment to 2022 only going uphill
from here!
K: Oh, that's good!
Yeah, it can't go downhill.
L: It can't get worse.
K: It CANNOT get worse.
(famous last words u silly bitch)
K: Third reason, subcategory, why I wanna read this is because it took me all the way
up until literally the last book of 2021 to cry.
I would like to start the year off with a--with a weep.
I know this book works...it's a tried and true method...not that I feel I should be
saying this because I don't want to recommend people to go read this *just* to cry.
But, like, for me?
L: She gotta juice them ducts.
K: I gotta juice them ducts!
K: We will be documenting our time.
We will be documenting our tears and our thoughts.
K: It's gonna hopefully be better than my last vlog.
I...don't know what that would entail, but better!
Something different, or the same!
L: Couldn't be the same because I wasn't in the last one.
K: That's fair.
You were elsewhere living your life...living your LITTLe life.
(fuckin high caliber comedy right here)
L: And on that note...let's get to reading
K: Everybody! Positions!!
L: Oh no
K: Oh no, she says....
K: "The eleventh apartment had only one closet, but it did have a sliding glass door that
opened onto a small balcony, from which he could see a man sitting across the way, outdoors
in only a T-shirt and shorts even though it was October, smoking."
L: I'm out of breath
K: *laughs in agreement*
(now playing: dismantle by peter sandberg)
L: You've looked better.
Oh my god, is it on?
K: yEss L, laughing: Fuck!!!
K, bewildered: oh my gOD
K: It is later. We have just made chili & cornbread, and it's going in the oven...
I feel like I'm on the food network (watch ur back guy fieri).
K: For the 20 minutes that it's cooking and baking we're going to keep reading.
Page 75 to page...20 minutes from now!
(now playing: still dismantle lol)
K: Get far away.
Get away from us.
Part one done.
Do you have thoughts?
L: I am in anguish.
K: Same...same....
L: I am way more removed from this than you, and I think it is showing by the panic on
your face.
K: The first time, I was so set on not crying and not feeling any emotion.
Every line I was like, 'I'm fine, nothing's phasing me.
I'm a bad bitch' (and we all know how that turned out).
This time I know it's going to phase me, so I'm getting far more into it.
K: Also can we talk about how going over the fire escape, Jude and then Willem after, is
a representation for their entire relationship with Jude jumping off the edge--
L: --and Willem being like, hold on, HOLD ON...okay, here I go!!
K: --and Willem going wait, wait, I'm coming with you!
*the exhale* you fuckin drama queen
L: Also Andy, just being Andy.
K: The first scene of Andy.
We got a Harold and Julia name drop.
I-- god, I already want to just scream so loud.
L: We're doin it!
K: *cries* I want chili.
K: It is day two.
We are back at it, starting on part two: The Postman.
K: Are you coming?
L: I almost said Happy Tuesday, it's literally Sunday.
K: Why does it feel like a Tuesday, though?
We're on day two.
It's twosday.
TWOsday.
Part two.
TWOsday.
L: Of twenty twenty-two K: Twenty twenty-TWOsday.
This is bananas...
K: Goodreads is concerned.
There's like 80 people in my comments going, 'should we call someone?'
Who are you gonna call, bitches? (affectionately)
L: Forget about A Little Life for a second,
but like, what is your emotional state going into day two?
K: Well, seeing as I took an 8:15 AM solidcore class, uh, taught by the one and only you.
Multiple times, you saw me once but it was multiple times, I almost broke down in tears
on the machine...
L: YOU!
Oh MY GOD YOUR FACe looked like the cover of the book in the middle of squat kick.
K:...beCAUSe IT HURT.
K: Point being, my emotional state?
In the shitter.
I could cry at any second.
Obviously, we know that The Postman is where we start to get into Jude's whole situation.
K: I think this is where I cried the first time last time.
L: Oh my god...tsk tsk tsk...no spolies!!
K: I've already read it?!
K: Hey!
Hi.
L: I'm sorry, the way you just said hEY, like you're a DAD.
K: Big Dad Energy.
BDE.
L: *noise of wow I hate that*
K: Hi, it's day three.
Lauren was at work all day and I only took one measly little depression nap, so ahh we're
both pretty worn out.
That is why it's bedtime.
L: But we're still gonna try to read!
K: We're dedicated
(more like deadicated)
K: Starting point is chapter two in part two.
That would be page 178, for you number bitches (still affectionate).
L: Oh yeah, we did make it!
K: I'm sorry, I'm just looking at the back now, and someone blurbed this...calling it,
"wonderfully romantic" and "sometimes harrowing"...sOMEtimes????
L: If I just do this, will the book go osmosis?
K + L: *scream*
(now playing: ballade by luke faulkner)
K: There's teeeaaaars!!
L: So it's day four!
By now you know that last night I fell asleep at the wheel...
K: And then I crawled out to the rocking chair and I wept alone.
I started crying at exactly the same--
L: *general older sibling shit* K: shut. your mouth.
K: --exactly the same location as last time...some things never change.
You stopped, I would say maybe, 20 pages before I did.
I finished section two, so I'm on--
*help her*
K: --I'm on part three.
L: Shall we get to it?
K: Let's do it!
Day four!
(now playing: un sospiro by liszt)
L: It is day five.
It's Wednesday-- K: *overcome by the need to reference* MY DUDES.
UUAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
L: *stares in millennial*
L: We have...how many pages to read?
K: I did the math-- L: 173??
K: 173.6 a day, for the next three days.
L: point sIX!
K: Because I did the math!
It was very strenuous, but I crUNCHed the numbers.
L: OhH K: What?!
L: That might be a pen, but it might be a slug.........it's a pen!
K: *makes sound that I can only describe as a creaky door*
I thought it was gonna be, like, a rodent..
L: I would have had a much less calm reaction if there had been a rodent and we were both
sitting on the floor.
K: *relief* ohH MY gOD L: False alarm....no slugs...
....emotional slugs??
K: I'm covered in them.
*laughing*
L: Um, should we just go get started?
(now playing: primavera by ludovico einaudi)
L: UHH this hurts!!
K: Can we just, like...wait...wait (x3)...I'm pausing...hold on
L: We're not DNFing A Little Life K: No!
Not DNFing.
I just want--can we just skip this part?
I hate this part so much.
L: But...where do you wanna land?
K: *baffled, as one would be* I don't kno--
L: Read.
K: Put the knee down!
I want them to see your emotions.
Look 'em in the eyes!!
L: I'm distressed...
K: oHHHHH we got her!!
L: *cries* K, laughing: Are you okay?
L: I'm laughing and crying at the same time...
K: What page are you on?
L: 364 K: ooohhahhhh !
(now playing: more of primavera by einaudi)
L: Laugh?
Cry?
Cry-laugh?
Cry....
Laugh?!
K, crying: Noooo *cry-laughing* L: Right?
*quiet sobbing*
K: You're gonna stay very far away now.
(now playing: STILL primavera)
K, finally with some regret: What are we doing????? *dies laughing*
K: ooooohhhhhhhh god DAMn *still laughing but also crying LOUDLY omg*
L: Did you have fun in DC? NOO.
K, shrieking: oh my god, okay.
wait, can I have a hug?
L: Yes?
Get up?
K: I'm working on it!!!
*laugh crying still happening* L: Here, here.
K: How are you not LOSINGYOURMIND????
L: I am...just..more quietly K: sorry
K: Your neighbors are gonna think something is horribly wrong....aND THEY WOULD BE RIGHT
*laughs* *expires* K, drops box of tissues in bathroom: SON OF A BITCH
This bitch better be still recording, or else I'm gonna lose it...
Are you ON?? You're on, we're good.
L, mockingly: We're GOOD, she says.
K; If anyone wanted context for where we are...I mean I don't know about you...but I just got to X=X
so I'm fucked up.
K: Are you crying? I can't tell...ooh, please don't cry.
K: She's weeping!! We got her AGAIN folk-- *gets punched*
K: I can't stop laughing! What do I doooOoooOOo
L: *losing it* nOOt my glasses!!
K, on the glasses lol: ohh SHIT L: OH MY GOD
K: Did I break it??
L: yES *broken laughter*
L: I'm calling Dad!
K: ...I have no idea what the fuck I was saying...
*both laughing in pitches that only dogs can hear* L: *chokes*
K: *literally sobbing*
(it goes on like this for a while)
(idk how to type the shit that came out of our mouths)
L: .....you can't ever read this book!
K: *SOBBING*
K: oh shit. hold on..
K: We look...GROSS right now L: Speak for yourself, I've never looked better.
K:..okay
L: I don't think I've taken a deep breath for like 45 pages.
K: Ok, cool.
Cool.
You're on page 440--something L: 448.
K: I'm on page 420, I think?
We're stopping for the night because neither of us can take it anymore.
Someone's been non-stop crying....the other person simply has turned to stone.
*laughs*
K: I'd like to say a few things: I did not cry this much..round one, as we all saw....you were there.
L: I hadn't cried yet.
K: You hadn't cried yet? That's fair.
L: I only cried at the end, I think, and only bit because I am--
K: YOU STONE COLD BITCH L: --a heartless person.
K: Obviously, we're in the middle of part four, which is The Axiom of Equality.
If you've read the book, you know that things get real fuckin' relentless here and it is....*something else*
K: I don't even have anything smart to say (as if that was even in question) it just really fucking hurts.
L: *groans* K: You got anything?
L: .... K: We've lost her.
K: Are you ready for bed? I'm ready for bed.
L: I have never been more ready for bed!
K: We technically...well-- L: We're halfway!
K: Not me, but you technically read the allotted 173 pages.
L: yEAH!!
K: I'm a little behind, but I will catch up............and mustard.
K: Shut up. Shut the fuck up.
L: Go to sleep.
L: Happy Friday!
K:....That.
I made a soup today, so I'm flying high and now I'm ready to sink low.
K: Bedtime cam!
Bed--b-- how do you zoom on this bitch?
*beats shit out of camera* *screams*
K: We are on page 540.
Chapter two of The Happy Years.
I'm feeling good, because this is the only part of The Happy Years that is actually fucking *happy*.
L: I'm stressed for tomorrow K: Yeah, oh yeah, stressed for tomorrow
because tomorrow we have to finish this bitch.
K: Gooood night!
L: Good night :)
K: Coffee achieved.
L: Good morning...
K: Put it up-- L: Day five?
Day six?
K: Oh, we are far past day five, ma'am.
L: Day seven?
K: Doesn't matter.
*elaborate tissue process*
K: We're readyy!!
L: Here we go!
K: Put that back in the box...we're gonna need it.
L: Ready to do this?
K: Nooo *cringes* L: Well, we don't have a choice.
K: *emotion*
K: We've both finished The Happy Years.
Are you happy?
L: ...no K: A hundred and five pages, and then we can
say that we've done this tWICE!
L: I want to keep going?!
K: nah, I need a break.
This is the part in the first video when I had to take a break, and dad went to Lush with me.
Larry's not here to help us this time...
K: Time for cinnamon roll!
L: Yup K: Thank you, The Wydown, for your beautiful
cinnamon bun/roll thing.
You are doing us an extreme solid.
K: aHh.
I'm in the world!
L: !!!! K: I'm a fuckin' cinematographer right now.
There it is!!
Heaven above!
L: I'm just gonna...yup.
It's so big!
K: *trampled by Scout*
*scout speaking her truth*
K: Hello!
It's Saturday night.
We in the spot!
Last leg of the journey!
Let's do it!
I can't believe I'm doing this again...
(now playing: experience by ludovico einaudi)
K: *loses it*
K: I literally can't see anything L: umm
K: *crying* here we goooo
(still playing: experience)
L: ....We made it K: *pain* oh god...
L: Let's stay far enough away from the camera that they can't really see us.
K: Can they see me right now?
I hope not... *still dying*
L: How are you doing?
K: You know....i HAVE been better.
This is not my highest moment, not my strongest...*punch of despair*
L: Still 5 stars, for me.
K: I'm gonna give it a 5 also...
L: yES!!
K: SHUT up!!
L: YEAH!
K: I don't know what point it was, upon this reread, but there was a moment that I realized inevitably it's going to get a 5.
L: I've been on that train since the start, so I do indeed...know.
K: Fair enough, fair enough, fair enough.
L: This book just makes me feel things.
K:.....no shit.
L: I-- I know. I know! Shut up!
L: I decided that it's gonna be a once every 5 years (reread)...
K: Once every 5 years..okay, cool, cool.
Yeah, I'm probably gonna wait more than 2 years...next time..
L: For now this is the end.
K: I'm done..
L: Yeah, I think there might be further check ins tomorrow. Like, just to be sure we're alive/vibe check and maybe end the video?
K: thanks for watching.....see you later maybe
L: See you tomorrow morning probably!! (lol nope)
K + L: bYeeeeeeeee