>> Jon: WELCOME BACK, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE FIRST MINISTER OF
SCOTLAND AND THE LEADER OF THE SCOTTISH NATIONAL PARTY, PLEASE
WELCOME FIRST MINISTER NICOLA STURGEON.
(APPLAUSE)
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Jon: WE'RE DELIGHTED TO YOU HAVE HERE.
>> THANK YOU, I'M DELIGHTED TO BE HERE.
IT'S VERY EXCITING, IF A LITTLE SCARY.
YOU BILLED ME ON YOUR WEBSITE AS A COMEDIAN.
>> Jon: DID WE DO THAT.
>> SO YOU RAISED ALL THESE EXPECTATIONS I'M GOING TO BE
FUNNY.
AND I'M A POLITICIAN.
AS YOU KNOW, POLITICIANS ARE REALLY VERY FUNNY, SO-- .
>> Jon: YOU NEED NOT WORRY.
THEY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE FUNNY FOR 17 YEARS.
>> YEAH.
>> Jon: AND THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT EITHER.
SO I THINK YOU'RE FINE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT.
>> THE GUY THAT IS TAKING OVER YOUR SHOW, WHEN YOU
SADLY DEPART THE SHOW, IS FIRST OF ALL COMING TO EDINBURGH
TO DO THE FRINGE.
>> Jon: THE FRIDGE FESTIVAL.
>> AND I JUST WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW -- THE FRIDGE FESTIVAL.
>> Jon: ONE OF THE GREATEST FESTIVALS.
>> JON GAVE A COMMITTMENT EARLY ON BEFORE THE SHOW THAT NEXT
YEAR HE'S COMING TO EDINBURGH NEXT YEAR TO TAKE PART IN THE
FRINGE.
(APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW LIKE A POLITICIAN, I WILL MOST
LIKELY NOT FULFILL THAT PROMISE.
>> I'M NOT THAT TYPE OF POLITICIAN.
I KEEP MY PROMISES, JON, SO I WANT YOU TO MODEL YOURSELF ON
ME.
>> Jon: THAT'S WHAT IS SO INTERESTING, HERE IS WHAT I
FIND SO INTERESTING.
SO YOU HAVE PLEDGED, AND THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS
WHY, FIRST OF ALL, THE SMP WON 56 OUT OF 59 SEATS OF
PARLIMENT, IT WAS UNPRECEDENTED.
SWEPT AWAY.
>> I'VE ALREADY WRITTEN AN INQURY ON HOW COME WE DIDN'T WIN
THOSE OTHER THREE.
>> Jon: YOU THINK ARE YOU SADDAM HUSSEIN, YOU GET 99%.
56 OUT OF 59 IS PRETTY GOOD.
>> YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS AIM FOR MORE.
>> Jon: SO IT IS AN AMAZING TRIBUTE TO YOU BUT HERE IS WHERE
YOU LINE UP.
THIS IS THE PROBLEM.
SO YOU HAVE PLEDGED, FOR SCOTLAND, GREATER
SELF-DETERMINATION, MORE FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE, BUT
NOW AFTER THE ELECTION, THAT HAS CRASHED HEAD ON WITH THE
REALITY THAT WESTMINSTER STILL CONTROLS THE PURSE
STRINGS, STILL BELIEVES IN AUSTERITY AS RECEIPTS, CAN
DWINDLE FOR THE GDP OF SCOTLAND.
MY QUESTION TO YOU IS THIS, FIRST MINISTER.
WHAT IS HAGIS, WHAT IS THAT?
WHY --
(APPLAUSE)
WHY WOULD ANYONE --
>> HAGIS IS DELICIOUS.
YOU HAVE TASTED HAGIS?
>> Jon: THROUGH A HAZING, YES.
>> IT'S WONDERFUL, YOU KNOW, IT'S SPICY, IT'S TASTY, IT'S
ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS AND YOU GET VEGETARIAN HAGIS AS
WELL.
ANOTHER REASON TO COME TO EDINBURGH.
SCOTLAND HAS SO MUCH TO OFFER, WE'VE GOT SCOTCH
WHISKEY, WE'VE GOT HAGIS, WE'VE GOT GREAT SCENERY.
WE'VE GOT WONDERFUL CITIES, WE'VE GOT SOME GREAT COMEDIANS
OF OUR OWN, BUT WE CAN ALWAYS HAVE ANOTHER ONE IN THE
EDINGBURGH FRIDGE, SO--
>> Jon: I'M HAPPY TO GO THERE.
YOU KNOW, STOP PITCHING ME ON SCOTLAND, LET ME PITCH YOU ON
AMERICA.
>> I LOVE AMERICA.
>> Jon: YOU HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A JONES FOR GETTING
OUT OF THIS WHOLE UNITED KINGDOM.
WE WENT THROUGH A VERY SIMILAR PROCESS.
LET ME TALK YOU THROUGH IT.
>> YOU HAVE BEEN MORE SUCCESSFUL.
ALTHOUGH I DON'T THINK WE'LL TRY TO DO IT YOUR WAY.
>> Jon: LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THEY HATE.
THEY HATE WHEN YOU THROW THEIR STUFF INTO THE WATER.
>> THAT'S WHERE WE WENT WRONG.
>> Jon: YOU HAVE TRIED THAT?
(APPLAUSE)
COME AND JOIN US.
WE CAN OFFER YOU A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT.
WHAT ARE THEY GIVING YOU.
U.K., WHAT IS THE HEALTH PLAN, WHAT ARE THEY THROWING
YOU GUYS.
>> THEY'RE CUTTING OUR BUDGET.
THEY'RE TAKING THINGS AWAY FROM US.
>> Jon: ARE THEY REALLY CUTTING YOUR BUDGET.
>> Jon: YOU HAVE SAID SCOTLAND IS OKAY WITH THAT.
THAT YOU CAN BECOME FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT, IS
THAT --
>> OF COURSE WE CAN BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT.
I GUESS IF WE CAST OUR MINDS BACK, ANY OF CAN REMEMBER IT
WHEN AMERICA WAS TRYING TO BECOME INDEPENDENT OF THE
U.K. THERE WAS ALL SORTS OF SCARY STORIES OF HOW IT WOULD
NEVER, EVER WORK.
I THINK AMERICA'S DONE OK ACTUALLY, ON BALANCE.
YOU HAVE BECOME QUITE A SUCCESSFUL, INDEPENDENT
COUNTRY.
SO YES, SCOTLAND COULD BE A SUCCESSFUL, PROSPEROUS,
DYNAMIC INDEPENDENT COUNTRY.
I MEAN SCOTLAND IS ALMOST INVENTED THE MODERN WORLD.
TELEVISIONS, TELEPHONES, PENECILIN.
>> Jon: LET'S NOT GET NUTS HERE.
>> ALL OF THESE THINGS WERE INVENTED IN SCOTLAND.
SO OF COURSE, WE CAN STAND ON OUR OWN TWO FEET.
> Jon: ANY LOOK AT WORLD HISTORY, SCOTLAND IS USUALLY
FIRST MENTIONED.
>> INDEED.
>> Jon: IT GOES THAT, AND THEN, YES.
LET ME ASK YOU THIS.
WHAT IS SO-- IF YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE UP THAT MONEY,
AS AN INDEPENDENT SCOTLAND THAT WANTS TO BE NUCLEAR
FREE, SO YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE AWAY THE TRIDENT, THE NUCLEAR
SUBS, WHERE IS THE MONEY GOING TO COME FROM?
>> WE'VE GOT A BRILLIANT ECONOMY SO WE ARE AN
OIL-PRODUCING COUNTRYMENT WE HAVE RENEWABLE ENERGY.
>> Jon: GO BACK TO THE FIRST ONE.
>> YOU'RE ABOUT TO TELL ME THAT THE OIL PRICES GOT A BIT
LOWER --
>> Jon: I'M TO THE ABOUT TO TELL YOU THAT AT ALL.
>> BUT WE'VE GOT RENEWABLE ENERGY.
WIND, WAVE, TIDAL. WE EXPORT FOOD AND DRINK.
>> Jon: GO BACK TO THE OIL.
>> YES, I WAS MOVING AWAY FROM THE OIL.
>> Jon: BUT YOU HAVE OIL.
>> YES.
>> Jon: MAY WE INVADE YOU?
>> YOU DON'T USUALLY ASK PERMISSION.
>> Jon: HOW MUCH CAN I SAY THIS WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO
THE SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE, AND THE NATIONALISTS, NOT
THE UNIONISTS, HOW MUCH OIL ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
>> NOT WORTH YOUR WHILE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
>> Jon: IT'S ALL WORTH OUR WHILE.
>> I THINK IT IS PROGRESS BECAUSE PRESUMABLY ON BEHALF
OF THE UNITED STATES ASKING PERMISSION TO INVADE AN
OIL-PRODUCING COUNTRY, DOESN'T USUALLY WORK THAT
WAY.
>> Jon: HOW DIFFICULT HAS THIS BATTLE BEEN WITH
NATIONALISTS AND UNIONISTS.
HAS IT-- IS IT A RED-BLUE DIVIDE LIKE WE HAVE HERE.
HAS IT GOTTEN-- I KNOW IT HAS ON TWITTER, HAVE YOU
THOGUHT ABOUT SECEDING TWITTER.
>> I THINK ABOUT SECEDING FROM TWITTER ALMOST EVERY
DAY.
>> Jon: I THINK YOU SHOULD, IT'S ROUGH TRADE.
BUT HOW DOES THAT GO, IS IT SIMILAR GLASGOW IS SORT
OF THE HUB OF THE RURAL AREAS ARE MORE UNIONISTS,
HOW DOES IT WORK.
>> GLASGOW WITH A CITY THAT VOTED YES TO INDEPENDENCE,
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, WE HURTLE INSULTS AT EACH OTHER ON
TWITTER OCCASIONALLY BUT THE INDEPENDENT REFERENDUM WAS
ENTIRELY DEMOCRATIC.
IT WAS PEACEFUL AND IT HAD AN AMAZING LEGACY IN
SCOTLAND.
IN SCOTLAND WE'RE ACTUALLY NOW REALLY INTERESTED IN
POLITICS, IMAGINE THAT.
PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO VOTE IN ELECTIONS.
THEY WANT TO GET INVOLVED.
THEY WANT TO GET A POLITICIAN ON THE SPOT AND
MAKE SURE THAT WE ARE DELIVERING PROMISES, THAT IS
A FANTASTIC THING.
DEMOCRACY HAS REALLY BEEN STRENGTHENED BY IT.
>> Jon: OUR DEMOCRACY HERE IS SO STRONG THAT WE DON'T
EVEN NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO IT.
IT'S SO POWERFUL, REALLY, 20, 30% OF US VOTE