This is how kids are raised in Japan
♪music♪
Are you ready Wolfy?
Yeah?
Yeah [laughter]
So it's been a crazy last five months
If you don't already know
we just recently released a video
of Wolfy and his "Day in the Life"
a few weeks ago
We will leave links in the description
This whole process the last five months
has kind of opened our eyes
to how Japanese raise their children
And we wanted to specifically talk about that in this video
Maiko is Japanese
I am Filipino-American raised in the States
We wanted to share
what we're going through here in Japan
trying to raise Wolfy
You know some of the surprises
that we've had along the way,
especially surprises for me because Maiko grew up in Japan
so she experienced a lot of this,
but this is what the stereotypical
way to raise a Japanese kid would be
But again it doesn't apply to everyone, everyone's different
Also, we wanted to know
what you guys thought about some of these things
that we're going to talk about
How it applies to your country, how it relates to your country
Maiko: And in this video I decided to join
because I did experience being raised in Japan
and I have Japanese parents
So I just wanted to share my experience with you guys
Before we start,
if you wanna support the channel check out the "Hold My Miso" merch
If you wanna see what we're doing on the daily
check out the IG accounts
If you have any questions about Japan or your Japan travels,
check out the Discord community right here
Wanna say hello to everyone before you go?
- Hey everyone! - Hey~
There you go, he's such a smiley boy
Love you! Bye Bye!
So this one is kind of crazy
Japanese moms spend only 2 hours
away from their baby each week
Whereas compared to American mothers,
they'll spend 24 hours away from their babies
Basically there's no time ever
where the baby is apart from the mom
At least in Japan
Why do you think that is?
Well in Japan,
babysitters are not so common
I mean, it's changing nowadays
since there's more working mothers
But back in the days
I think there were no babysitters
and people expected mothers to almost "suffer"
And to give up everything for the baby,
was actually a good thing
They value the "suffering" of mothers
Paolo: So basically, you're a more respected mother
if you are sacrificing for the babies and for the kids
That's kind of surprising to us, but times are changing
so that's not necessarily the case for some parents these days
But it's still one of the mindsets
that a lot of the parents have in Japan
The next thing was
I don't know if it was much of a shocker,
but I anticipated it because of the size of our apartment
The sleeping arrangements here in Japan
and sleeping in the same room with your baby and your child
In fact, if you've seen our "Day in a Life" video with Wolfy
then you'd know he sleeps in the same room with us
Not in the same bed,
but he has a crib right next to our bed
I think about 88% of kids between 0 and 3 years old
sleep in the same room with their parents
and about 68-69% of kids sleep in the same bed as their parents
But it's common for kids to be in elementary school
and still be staying in the same room with their parents
or maybe even the same bed
until they're like 10 years old or something
For me, when I was a kid
our house wasn't that big,
but since we had 3 kids
we used to sleep together in the same room
We would call it a "Kawa no Ji"
"We sleep like a kawa no ji"
means we sleep next to eachother
Paolo: So I think one of the differences in Japan
is that they don't have beds, but futons Maiko: Oh, that's true
Paolo: So you have this bedroom with tatami mats
where people lay out their futon mattresses
- And it's not just beds lying around-- - That's right
like you're in an orphanage
Yeah it's on the ground, it's on the floor
In our case, we moved
My parents built a new house when
I was in early elementary school
That's when I got my room
So I think it really depends on the family
for when you get your own room
Usually it happens in elementary school or junior high at the latest, I think
Paolo: We'll decide as Wolfy gets older he's almost six months now, so we'll see
So this one kind of piggybacks off that one
It's taking a bath with your parents,
especially the opposite sex,
and how long they do it here in Japan
For example,
right now we're just giving him a bath separately
But I think at the age of 3-4 months
that's when parents start to take baths with their kids,
like that young,
to soak them in the bath or give them a proper bath together
But this continues on and the facts show here,
that all the way up until maybe age ten
22% of moms and sons take baths together
and when they're 12: 14%
all the way to 15 years old with 3%
that's 3 out of a 100 kids
will take a bath with their mom at 15 years old
You'd be shocked as a Japanese as well
- I'm pretty shocked - The Japanese as well
This was kind of weird, it says
for over 20 years old: 6%
Maiko: Wow Paolo: Yeah, that's pretty shocking
The next one is father and daughter
up to 8 years old it says 14%
and to 10 years old, 25% still take baths with their dad
How old were you when you took a bath with your dad?
I actually don't remember, but I remember I felt kind of weird
That's one of the things
How is it in your country?
Let me know in the comments
This one is more of a general thing
when they're growing up
and how to teach them or correct your child
when they do something wrong
And kind of show them the way
In Japan, typically they show a lot more empathy
when teaching their children
For example, instead of saying
"You did something wrong" or "You're gonna get arrested"
it's more like,
"How is that going to make the other kid feel
when you take their toys or you do something", right?
- So it's more of a show of empathy - Yeah, exactly
How I was brought up, or how my mother taught me when I did something wrong
was usually to think of other people's feelings,
"He's hurt, you don't want to do that"
or let's say I'm screaming and jumping around in a public place,
then my mother would be like,
"Don't bother people"
Not only the feelings,
but also the idea that you don't want to bother other people
We would say "Meiwaku wo kakenai"
It's like how it's gonna make other's feel
You don't wanna disturb harmony,
you don't want to disturb the peace, or everyone's quiet
Yeah, always think about others
"Life theme" of Japan
Paolo: It's not like
"Oh you're gonna get arrested" or "You're breaking the rules"
Maiko: No, you should never say that
Paolo: I think it's great to be able to get along with the group,
but then at the same time,
as someone always trying to get along with the group
you kind of lose your opinions and your thoughts
And you don't actually think on your own
You're always thinking, "What does the group want or think"
Maybe we have a bit of a mix in there so that our son
considers the group and is empathetic and wants the best for the group
but also his own opinions about things
And maybe it'll be okay for him to stick out once in a while
Yeah, totally
To be honest,
I grew up and always having to think about others
and having to put other's feelings before what I wanted to do
So I never got to do what I wanted
You know what I mean?
That sucked, so... [laughter]
It's like
"I feel bad for her so I guess I'm not gonna do that"
You know?
That will make you lose your personality
or lose your identity
If that makes sense
You won't develop your own uniqueness
- Yeah - We'll see
Before we continue,
I wanted to give a quick shoutout to our sponsor, Bokksu
If you don't already know, Bokksu provides a gourmet experience
of Japanese snacks delivered to your front door
With the holidays around the corner,
Bokksu is a perfect gift for loved ones near and far
They work with factories, some over a hundred years old,
to provide you snacks
And each monthly box has its own unique theme,
so you get new snacks every time
First time users will get a "Seasons of Japan" box
and after you'll get a theme box like this one
When you open the box
you get a booklet that goes through the snacks
and information about Japan
You get 10-25 snacks in your box depending on which one you choose
All hand-picked, local Japanese flavors from all over Japan
Get 10% off your own authentic Japanese snack box from Bokksu
and save up to $47 using my code: PAOLO10
Link in the description
That said, let's continue on with the list
Another interesting thing about Japanese culture and raising kids
is that discipline is not only from parents,
but also from groups
meaning that you'll go to school or you'll join clubs
and the discipline is shared throughout the community
So it's not just from your parents
which could be a good or bad thing
I guess, maybe in some cultures
you know the parents are the ones responsible for the discipline
but in Japan it's a shared communal thing
Maiko: Yeah, as I grew up I was always in that environment,
that I had to follow the rules
That applies at school, at clubs, and after-school school
So I think if you're in Japan,
you're naturally going to be disciplined
Paolo: I think what's also interesting
is even as a little kid in school,
you clean all together
I'll be walking by nurseries and see kids wiping down
the entrance of the school and wiping down the--
- Elementary school? - A nursery or something
Maiko: I feel like I started in elementary school
But yeah, it's good to learn how to be responsible for your own room
Paolo: The kids could barely stand and were wiping
So cute [laughter]
They were teaching them how to wipe the windows
- They're probably not good at cleaning - No, they were terrible at cleaning
- They're learning - They're learning
So cute
They teach them at such a young age
To sum it all up,
the parents don't have to discipline the child by themselves
They have the community, they have the schools,
they have the circles, and they have the clubs to help discipline
But this one was another surprising thing,
especially walking around in Tokyo
which is a massive city
Seeing kids walk to school by themselves
You know they're small
They're probably five or six years old
and they're walking to school by themselves in the city
Not only are they walking,
but they're taking the trains, they're taking the buses
and they're all by themselves
When Wolfy is five years old
we're gonna let him walk around the city all by himself
When you were growing up did you walk around by yourself?
Maiko: I did
I am from the really countryside
and there were big kids in the neighborhood
So we would meetup in the morning and then all go together
And the big kids always watch out for the little kids
So I think it was pretty safe
Paolo: In that case, the kids walked as a group
it wasn't like they were individual
But I've seen cases where I've seen kids by themselves
Maiko: Yeah in Tokyo,
on the train and the bus, I see them by themselves
Paolo: We'll have to see whether or not that's okay for us
But it seems relatively safe, I think it'd be okay
I mean, good thing we put that GPS tracker in--
[laughter]
This next one was a pleasant surprise
and it's how healthy kids eat here in Japan
- Right? - Very healthy
Very healthy compared to the states
I don't know about other countries and what they serve for lunch
In Japan, they have 'kyushoku'
Do you wanna explain more about it?
Kyushoku is usually served for elementary school and junior high
Maybe some preschools, I don't know, maybe not
About 92% percent of schools use it
So basically almost all of the schools are using kyushoku
- Right? - Yeah
It's very balanced and the menu changes every single day
They have a nutritionist plan everything out every month
The kyushoku company actually cooks it and serves it
Paolo: So what would you have?
What you get in kyushoku is very balanced
Usually carbs, soup, a main dish, and side dishes
I don't remember exactly, but for example
white rice with green peas on top
Miso soup with mushrooms, tofu, and seaweed
Main dish would be hamburger steak
The side dish would be spinach and sesame
and some kind of pickles or something
It's not the same everyday, it would alternate throughout the week
so you have an entire month's worth of menu
Yeah, everyday is different
And oh, you get milk
And what's interesting is that the monthly fee is about--
Oh, it's so cheap!
- About 4,300 on average - Something like that, yeah
That's for elementary school
and about 4,900 yen for junior high
I wanna get that too [laughter]
It's so cheap!
Paolo: It's because they're producing meals for 92% of the schools in Japan
- They make it in volume - Yeah
Maiko: Moms don't have to think of the menu everyday or cook
Making a bento is so much work
Paolo: But that's still something that they do
A lot of moms post about their bento
Maiko: I know they do, but on weekends
Kyushoku is provided during compulsory education
I remember in my school we had pizza, cheese burgers, and tater tots
The cheese burger was small and not very delicious
The schools are trying to kill you
Yeah, it was just the most unhealthy food ever
I'm glad that Wolfy has healthy options
But if we decide to make food for him then that's pretty cool
And I think overall it teaches kids good food education
- Right? - Yeah
So they know
"This is not good for me, I shouldn't eat it"
Maiko: I think at least you think of kyushoku as a standard
Not healthy, but standard food you should have in a meal
Paolo: I think this last one maybe
will haunt us if Wolfy ever watches this video
It's not out of the ordinary for kids to grow up with their parents
and live with them after graduating from high school and college
Very common
In fact, for 18-34 year old single men
about 69% of them still live with their parents
I think for women it's about 59%
It's common, I mean 34 years old and still living with your parents
is quite a big deal in some Western counties,
but in Japan it's normal
Maiko: I wouldn't get surprised if somebody tells me
"Oh, I live with my parents"
I'd be like "Oh, okay"
But a Western person would have a different reaction, right?
Yeah
Wolfy if you're watching this
you might be living with us at 34 [laughter]
That concludes the video
If you like this video hit that 'like' button
If you wanna see more of these videos, 'Day in the Life' videos, Japan guides
hit that subscribe and bell button
We'll catch you guys in the next one!