Hey guys welcome back, thanks for joining me this week. I hope everyone is doing well. It is a beautiful fall day here in Boston
And I hope you are doing well wherever you are so this week
I was thinking about a topic and I've been getting so many comments and
Questions coming in from people and a lot of people are asking me questions about narcissism
And I'm definitely gonna start doing more videos on it because I think it's something that's really really important and this week
I wanted to talk about something that kind of touches on narcissism and sociopaths
And you know nippy little people and I know I've done a video on how to deal with a manipulative person in your life
but this topic is important because
You know when we're adults we don't always think that we're gonna have to deal with this type of person
But they exist and that's bullies um
you know whenever we think of a bully we always think of the person in high school like the big guy that's picking on the
little you know the smaller little freshman or whatever
But the fact of the matter is were adults and there are toxic people and there are abusive people and there are bullies in our
Life and one of the things that I wanted to really stress is when you're dealing with someone
That's constantly using manipulation. That's constantly you know either threatening you or
shaming you
Or projecting onto you you know their own
insecurities you have to take a step back and know that this person is just
Looking to get a rise out of you. They're just looking for attention
bullies are
extremely insecure, and that's why they do what they do and
Boy, man what I have saved myself a lot of thinking and heartache and stress in high school
Had I known that
But you know unfortunately we weren't really taught those things in high school, and we're so insecure in ourselves
Anyways that it probably wouldn't have mattered. It's just stuff
We have to go through in life
But as adults that are self loving and secure within our own self when we come in contact with a bully
We can spot it a mile away
The trick of this is is to not let your emotions take over don't feed into this person
Essentially a bully is just someone that like I said is looking to get a rise out of you
They're looking for attention so they want a reaction from you
because the more you react to them the more they're gonna keep doing what they're doing and
You know when I was growing up a lot of the times, and this is just our society in general
We're taught to like fight back that we should fight back and tell this person like
What they're doing is wrong?
And who we are and that's how you know we're gonna really be
Respectful of ourselves is to stand up to this person and to a certain extent
Yes, you have to stand up for yourself, but when we come with anger and this you know aggressiveness towards a person
That isn't making them stop doing what they're doing to us
The only way to get a bully to kind of back off and leave
You alone is to completely ignore them because like I said they're looking for something
especially a
Narcissist who is a hundred percent of bullying in himself or herself
they're looking for something out of you whether that's positive attention or negative attention and
They are you know people call them vampires because they really are they suck energy out of people so
They want like I said any type of attention from you, and when you don't give them any attention
eventually
The abusive behavior goes away so as much as you know it pains people at times and it's the hardest thing in the world
To do you have to take a step back and whenever a bully is saying something to you. You know, that's hurtful. That's rude
That's abusive whatever it is
Stan say what you need to say to stand firm and your ground and stand up for yourself
And then let it go we don't engage with this person. We don't react negatively to this person
We don't come to the table bringing all kinds of emotion and anger
Because all of that energy that we're bringing is exactly what they want. It's feeding them
It's feeding the bully and so what we want to do is starve the bully we want to know that
Hey when you come up to me and you try to use manipulation or any kind of a tactic to be abusive towards me?
You're getting absolutely nothing you're getting absolutely nothing from me. You're not getting your reaction. You're not getting anything negative
You're not getting any anything positive
I am fresh of energy for you, and that's the only way to get a person to just leave you alone
and you know the reason why I wanted to make this video is because
You know obviously we all come in contact with bullies
But I had a friend recently you know we were sitting down and we were chatting over dinner
And she was telling me about this person
That's in her life
And he is just very abusive and manipulative and shames her and uses all these different gas lights her
Projects onto her and you know he just is constantly
threatening and bullying her and
It's something that you know it's tough for her to deal with and the advice that I gave her as I say well
You know he keeps doing what he's doing to you
Because on an energetic level on a subconscious level. He knows he's getting something from you
He's getting that energy from you so in order to and you know when I said that to her
She kind of got confused. She was like I don't even understand like I'm not
Giving anything I'm almost I'm trying so hard to ignore him and I said well there you go
You're trying so hard to ignore him but are you a hundred percent?
Blocking everything from him whether that be good or bad energy when you almost
Pretend like the person doesn't exist
They go away. They do
So it's a matter of just keeping at it keeping at it, and eventually they will you know for so long?
These people have bullied you
Were bullied her and they know that they can come to you for supply
They know they can come to you for some energy to just suck it out of you because they know what to do
they know where your wounds are to kind of get you and
So when you no longer react to any of those wounds and just whatever they say yeah
Okay, okay
You know and we don't need to yep. Okay? No no attitude. No passive aggressiveness
No anger just point blank, okay?
Sure, yeah, yeah, okay, and just walk away right off the bat. It's probably gonna infuriate them
Absolutely, but eventually they go away because they know that they're not getting anything from you
So it's not a matter of just doing this a couple times. Especially if someone has abused you for so long
This is gonna take time for them to get the hint that you no longer can abuse me
And you no longer could get anything from me and after a while
They'll just get frustrated, and they'll move on to someone else so that's the ticket is we want to get their energy
Redirected on another person because it's no longer gonna be redirected on you, so I hope this kind of helps anyone out there
That's dealing with a manipulative narcissistic bully
Don't forget to hit subscribe don't forget to give this video a thumbs up if you liked it, and I will see you next week
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