It is a truth universally acknowledged, that everybody
In history
pooped.
In ancient times, the Romans built public underground sewer systems, which not only
carried waste, but also drinking water,
so It paid to be up stream.
The romans used large, divider-free public restrooms - some with up to 50 toilets.
Many people read prayers and protection spells to keep them safe from demons, rats biting
their bums, or open flames that could flare up from methane pockets.
In the middle ages, where you pooped largely depended on your class.
Lower class people pooped in chamber pots - aka jerry, guzunder, a po, thunder pot…
If you were really poor, a bucket.
In medieval London it was illegal to empty these out the window (not that that stopped
many people).
Most people carried their full chamber pots to a nearby stream or river and emptied it
there.
Larger houses had attached latrines which drained into cess-pits which were emptied
by men called “gongfermours” or “gong farmers.”
who would then carry the waste to the streams and rivers.
The Gong Farmers of London would end their shift bathing in the River Thames, which was
probably only slightly cleaner than themselves - at least they were well-paid.
For the top of the Pooping-ladder, Castles featured rooms called Garderobes, which had
literally a seat with a hole to the outside cut into it.
Poop would drop right into the castle moat.
When the tide was low, it would pile up above the water until it was flushed away into the
river.
Which was also drinking water.
The word garderobe is french for Wardrobe.
People would hang their clothes in these rooms, as the fleas and moths didn’t like the smell.
There was a job called “The Groom of the King’s Stool,” whose job was to wipe the
king’s bum when he was finished pooping.
Naturally, this was a job of honor and only princes or boys of royalty were allowed to
do it.
With all this poop being throw around, you can imagine the smell literally everywhere.
If you can’t, think about this, Archaeologists have found medieval poop and it still stinks
to this day.
This past year they even found several 700 year old barrels unearthed in Denmark in the
Werner’s Square.
Boy, do we stink Brandon.
Finally, in 1596, a man named John Harrington, who was actually an English poet, invented
a flushing toilet for Queen Elizabeth the first.
But it was so loud it scared her from using it.
It did, however, become popular to call this new invention after it’s creator, John.
By the 1850s over 400,000 tonnes of sewage were flushed into the River Thames each day
- around 150 million tonnes of poo a year.
Eventually, in the 1880’s, a man came along who invented the ballcock and many other patents,
which helped silence the scary flushing toilet, leading to its widespread adoption…
his name?
Thomas Crapper.
FUN FACT:
The US Navy has developed a way to vaporize on their vessels.
The technology has been installed on their newest aircraft carrier the Gerald Ford Aircarft
Carrier because he was a real stinky President.