(knocking) - Chidi, come on in.
(gentle music)
- Eleanor.
I'm Chidi Anagonye and you are my soulmate.
(claps)
- Cool, bring it in, man!
(laughing)
(joyful music)
There's been a big mistake.
I'm not supposed to be here.
(uneasy music)
- Wait, what?
- We need a plan. (nervous bouncy music)
I say we just lie low and hope that they don't notice me.
- I'm sorry, I don't think I can help you.
I just don't like being dishonest
and I can't advise you to be dishonest either.
- Come on!
I'm just asking you to fudge a little bit.
You must've told a few white lies in your life.
I mean, what was your job?
- I was a professor of ethics and moral philosophy.
- Motherforker (laughs)!
I bet way more people cared that you died.
(gentle happy music)
Cause you're a nice person.
(clears throat)
You're a nice person, Chidi Anaconda.
- Anagonye.
Do I have any siblings, where did I do to college?
- Trick question, you didn't.
- I was literally a college professor.
Do you not remember one single thing about me?
- Dude, things have been nuts around here.
I bet you don't know anything about me!
- You were born in Phoenix, you went to school in Tempe.
You're an only child, your favorite show
was something called "The Real Housewives of Atlanta"
and your favorite book in Kendall Jenner's Instagram feed.
- Agono-comunga.
- Anagonye.
I am not going to have sex with someone
to get them to stop talking to me!
- Really?
You and I are very different.
- Yeah, I noticed!
- Say it again.
- Anagonye.
- No, say what you said before.
- I did, it's Anagonye.
- You know what man?
I have spend every second in this place
worried I was gonna get caught,
but if we go down right now that's on you, okay?
Oh, you spend all your time teaching a charming
awesome lady, how sad for you.
Face it dude, I'm the best thing that ever happened to you.
Because guess what, Chidi?
Ya basic!
You just changed it.
- I didn't change it, it's my name.
- Arda Grande, Ariana Grande, (gasps) that's a person.
I did it!
Ugh, even your nightmares are boring.
- You are so mean, Eleanor.
You're just like those childhood bullies
who said I would never get tenure.
- And you are so irritating.
In one of these reboots I probably strangled you
and then went to the even worse place,
but you know what (slams),
I bet it was worth it.
- Oh, nice. (chiming music)
- I got a couple more questions.
- Sure, take your time.
We're not in a hurry or anything.
- How many times in all the reboots
did I ask Chidi for help, he refused to help me,
and then I had to get better on my own?
- Never, he always helped you.
(groans)
- Really?
- Yep, no matter how I set it up,
you found him, confessed you didn't belong,
asked him for help, and he said yes.
- I'm sorry I dragged you into this.
You're a really good fake soulmate.
(gentle happy music)
- I feel like I failed you.
- No.
Don't ever think that!
I was dropped into a cave
and you were my flashlight.
I dated many annoying guys, okay.
They would call me all times of the day
just to talk or ask me if I'd taken cash out
of their wallets, stupid stuff.
Point is, you are way more of a buzzkill
than any of those dudes.
- Okay, thanks for this conversation.
- But somehow I never want to leave you.
I wanna stay in the good place because of you.
Because I love you.
(gentle music)
I think.
No, I'm pretty sure, yeah, I love you.
Ugh, that's embarrassing (laughs).
- The circumstances under which we met are completely insane
and that just makes the grinding harder.
I just wish we met the way normal people meet,
like at a philosophy conference or after
one of my philosophy lectures
or you came knocking on my office door
asking for help with philosophy.
- (laughs) Is that how you think people meet?
- I don't know how normal people meet.
- You need to remember you who are.
(nervous bouncy music)
You're Eleanor Shellstrop from Phoenix, Arizona.
Your favorite meal is shrimp scampi.
You listed your emergency contact as Britney Spears
as a long shot way of meeting her
and your favorite movie is that clip
of John Travolta saying, Adele Dazeem.
You flew halfway around the world because you wanted
to be a better person and it was very brave.
You're sharp and you're strong.
You make fun of me a lot.
You once called me a human snooze button
but you also showed up in my classroom
when I was drowning in despair and canned chili
and you basically saved my life
and your worst nightmare is someone saying something
nice about you to your face,
but too bad, because I need to say it.
(crumbling)
Because you deserve it,
because, because. (air whooshing)
(electronic warbling) - Chidi!
(air whooshing) (gentle happy music)
(crunching)
(electronic note chiming) (heavy breathing)
- Nice work bud.
(upbeat music) (slurping)
This is my kind of scrappy fun.
Sneaking around with a boy,
trying not to get caught.
- I know, it's like when my parents would go to a symposium
and I would sneak into their office
and read the unabridged dictionary.
- I can't believe I'm attracted to you.
- I have one more little surprise for you (tapping).
Okay, open up.
- Holy forking fork!
- What do you think?
(gentle emotional music)
Oh, no, you're crying!
I assume it's because you're happy or horny.
Is this a horny cry?
- No, I'm crying because I'm miserable
and it's all your fault!
- Why, do you not like the outfit?
- I love the outfit!
You look amazing and this sucks and I'm furious
and I'm the happiest I've ever been
and I blame you!
Yeah, I think this is gonna be okay.
- Yeah.
- No, it won't.
It won't be okay.
Which is why you need to erase my memory and reboot me.
(sad gentle music)
I'm gonna miss you so much, Eleanor.
- Except you won't.
That's what's so scary about this whole thing.
I'm gonna miss you.
- I believe in you.
I am not even scared to get rebooted
because I know that you'll be here taking care of me.
- I wish we had more time together.
- Oh, time means nothing.
Jearemy Bearimy, baby.
We'll just get through this and then you and I
can chill out in the dot of the I forever.
- Right.
We'll be okay.
We found each other before, hundreds of times.
We can do it again.
- Janet.
(notification chiming) - Hi there.
- Hi.
Can I have a pen and some paper?
(notification chiming)
(paper rustling)
I don't know if I'll see you again
or what I'll remember if I do,
but if we do cross paths again.
(paper ripping)
Sometime, somewhere,
can you give this back to me?
- Of course.
(smooching)
(notification chiming)
(loud inhaling)
(eerie distorted music)
(snaps) (liquid splashing)
- Hi there, Chidi.
Welcome back.
(gentle curious music) - Is he all right?
Did you break him?
- [Man In Suit] Hey buddy, how you doing?
- Man, I'm doing great.
- Listen we have like one hour
to create and entirely new afterlife
and also save all of humanity
and we were wondering if you could do your Chidi thing
and find us the answer?
- Oh, well Eleanor, this kinda thing
doesn't have just one answer.
There might be 800, there could be zero.
Who knows, you know, the journey is the destination, right?
Let's get to work.
Can you give me one second?
(stammering)
Hey Janet, can I have my note please?
(gentle happy music)
- If you know that you wrote a note,
then you know what it says.
- I do, but I'd still like to see it again please.
I think it might be some of the best writing I've ever done.
(notification chiming)
(paper rustling)