- Today we hear your favorite restaurant's
dirty little secret.
- Let's talk about that.
(groovy electronic music)
Good Mythical Morning.
- Don't miss our very last live tour shows this year.
We're playing four nights only just before Thanksgiving
in Phoenix, Albuquerque, NorCal and SoCal.
Get tickets while they last at--
- [Both] RhettAndLinkLive.com.
- Yes. - Now as a society,
we tend to trust restaurant workers.
That's why whenever I got a rash,
I head to my local Arby's kitchen
and ask the cook for medical advice.
- Mm, smart.
But is our trust misplaced?
Are there things going down behind the scenes
that we should know about and then wish we never knew about?
Well today we'll bear witness to the most disturbing
true confessions the restaurant industry has to offer.
It's time for forgive me father for I have sinned.
I hovered over your nachos and then broke wind.
- Okay, not only did our Mythical crew dig up
actual highly disturbing restaurant worker confessions
on the internet, but they also tracked down
the actual waiters who made these confessions
and they are here with us today
to spill the beans with one caveat:
every confession will be missing some crucial information.
- We're gonna guess what's missing
from the confessions using these whiteboards
and whoever loses the game will have
to eat a restaurant salad with a hair in it.
- Great.
- Let's hear that first confession.
- Listen up.
There have been plenty of lies that have gone around,
scams some might say, saying that we're putting fingers
in our chili, but listen,
this ain't no Kony 2012 scam here.
The only scam here is freshness and never frozen.
I work at Wendy's and when people are rude to me,
I put a blank in their Frosty. (chuckles menacingly)
- When somebody does what to you?
- When someone is rude to me-- - Just rude to you,
you put blank-- - I put a blank
in their Frosty.
- In their, a blank. - Should I take something
from the hand motion? - Seem to be blitzing it.
- You know, you just dip it in, take it out real quick.
- Okay, dipped it in.
- I was thinking something else,
but now that I realize that it's a put in,
take out situation.
- I've got my question, my question,
I've got my guess. - It's the worst thing
you can have. - I do question it.
Okay-- - I got my guess as well.
- I'll go first.
I'm gonna guess dip your finger in the Frosty.
- Oh, we're on the same page, Link.
Finger. - Oh, we both said finger.
Once you said dip, we thought finger.
- And what else are you gonna, I mean,
there's other things you could dip in a Frosty
but I mean come on. - (laughs) What is it?
- Incorrect. - What?
- I work at Wendy's and when people are rude to me,
I put a pickle in their Frosty. (chuckles menacingly)
You dip it in there. - Oh okay, okay.
- [Will] You get the juices in there.
- And then you take it back out
'cause they would know if the pickle stayed in there.
- Well you know they call a pickle the old green finger.
- Now because we both answered the right thing,
who you gonna give the point to?
You gotta give it to somebody.
- No no, that's-- - I mean honestly,
I think neither of you got it.
- Oh, okay. - All right.
- It's no big deal. - It can be based
on handwriting. - We're off to a great start.
Okay let's hear our next confession
as if that wasn't creepy enough.
- Have you ever been serving salads to busy interns
who were making orders for an entire office?
I know that you're in a hurry
but would you treat your local serial killer
the way you treat your neighborhood waitress?
No, because he has a knife,
but so do I.
I'm here to confess that after that lady sent back a salad
that was perfectly fine, I mixed my blank blank
into the salad.
- Uh. - Blank blank?
- My blank blank, and since there's two blanks
and this is the second one, this is worth two points total.
(Link sighs)
- Actually this is worth-- - Pickle pickle.
- This is worth two points because it's the second round
but I do like the way that you assumed it was because
there was two blanks.
- My blank blank in a salad.
What could she have that could go in a salad?
- Then again, I mean-- - And it has to be
kinda unnoticeable because
you don't wanna expose yourself, do you?
- Of course not.
- Yeah you need to be able to do it quickly so that--
- That didn't sound like an appropriate question.
That's not what I meant. - So other employees
can't see you do it,
that's what you're saying, right?
- Yeah or the person who's then eating the salad.
(groans) Okay.
I'm going out on a limb here.
- I've got a guess but I don't know
how confident I am about this.
- All right what's your guess?
That you're writing-- - I said
ear wax.
- Oh.
I actually forgot about the my part when I wrote
floor crouton.
(crew chuckles)
- Is that just a crouton from the floor?
- Bingo.
So, what's the right answer?
- After a customer sent back a salad
that was perfectly fine, I mixed my clipped nails
into the salad. - Ew.
- Your clipped nails. - Clipped nails.
- Oh my gosh, otherwise known as a floor crouton.
- Floor crouton, it's not even from the body, man.
- Listen, I clip my nails on the bathroom floor
all the time and Christy, she's like (yelps),
"Floor croutons!"
- Okay, all right. - She hates it.
- All right. - So who gets the point?
- It's going to Rhett.
- Woo!
- Why because it's a bodily function?
- Yeah it's from the body, man.
- Well because I picked my ears with my nails.
- That's true, there's probably some ear wax in her--
- [Emily] They're one and the same.
- Oh my gosh, okay, Rhett you got two points.
Let's hear our next confession.
- Howdy partners.
- [Link] Howdy.
- All right.
(both laughing)
Please do not interrupt me, I'm working.
- Sorry.
- I'm the cowboy of failed health inspections
but you can call me Wonder Woman because I'm here
to lasso some truth.
So I'm here to confess I work at (beep)
as you can tell by my accent
and I pick blank blank off of people's plates
before they are taken out almost every day.
- It's gotta be pickable.
- It's gotta be pickable, that narrows it down.
But it's gotta be from somebody's plate as well.
- Floor crouton.
Pickle pickle.
- I'm just trying to think of the kinda thing
that I would feel compelled to pick off someone's plate.
- This seems normal to me.
I'm much more comfortable with picking things off
than putting things on and my guess is that
something I actually wouldn't be upset to find out about.
French fries.
- Okay we're still on the same page, french fries.
- Oh you're thinking french fries, okay.
- You were both thinking french fries?
(Rhett laughs)
Well, the answer is I work at a (beep)
and I pick dead cockroaches off people's plates
before they are taken out almost every day.
- And then you eat them?
- What's that, no, I don't eat them.
I take 'em off and I put 'em away in my special drawer.
- We should have taken the hint when he said
he was the health inspector.
- Ah, yeah, we gave him too much credit.
- French fries though, I mean--
- I'm comfortable with this. - Kinda like roaches.
- I would rather not have the cockroach on the plate either.
- First of all, I don't believe that.
I just don't believe that that happens every day.
- You callin' me a liar?
(crew laughs)
- I'm calling you an actor.
- Well.
That's true. (both laugh)
- Okay so no points for either of us.
- Dang it.
Next confession.
- Can't sleep?
Why don't you just hop into your car and drive down
to my place of work where you can get a straight shot
of processed meats and salty potatoes.
Anyway, I'm here to confess I work in a fast food place
and when a customer pisses me off,
I blank a blank with a blank blank in their tacos.
(Link sputters)
(crew laughs)
Yeah, that's right, I blank a blank with blank blank
in their tacos. - Blank a blank
with blank blank.
- Why is she Irish? - Into there.
(crew laughing)
I was trying to place it and I couldn't quite do it.
- It was when she said-- - It's fusion.
- She said potatoes. - The fusion taco!
- Because it's a fusion taco, she said.
- It's an Irish taco place.
- Okay, blank a blank. - Blood pudding tacos.
- From blank blank. - Cabbage.
- In the tacos.
That was intense.
Man, I'm gonna have to start to learn to cook.
This is difficult.
Is this expected?
- Oh it's very difficult.
- I don't know how to spell two of the words
that I'm putting on here.
Okay.
Here, you want me to go first?
- Sure.
- I say-- (chuckles)
I hock a loogie with my mouth in the tacos.
- Wrong.
- So oh, can I change my answer because I also said
hock a loogie--
- What? - But I said with hard bits.
You know how sometimes-- - Hold on, hold on,
first of all-- - You'll hock a deep loogie
and something hard will be in it.
- Hold on, first of all, you spelled hock the same way.
You spelled loogie with an extra E.
- With an E, yeah.
- Yeah mine kinda looks like loo-zhee.
- Hock a loogie with my mouth,
obviously not with your mouth.
What else could you hock a loogie with?
All right.
- Your nose.
- Oh that's a farmer's blow.
- Not from an Irish farm.
(both laugh)
- So what's the right answer?
- I work in a fast food place
and when a customer pisses me off,
I draw a penis with hot sauce in their tacos.
That shows them!
(crew laughing loudly)
- You-- - Draw a penis
with hot sauce? - In their taco.
Yes.
- The best revenge is penis art.
And everyone knows it.
- So only you know that it was in there.
- I doubt anyone-- - But in a way,
don't they all know?
- Now I will say that the word hard is in my answer.
- And the word mouth is in mine. (chuckles)
So-- - Who gets the point?
- I mean, who's more right-- - Hard or mouth, hmm.
- Hard bits. - My mouth.
- I'm gonna say that penis art can lend itself
to look more like a mouth,
so that's who I'm giving the point to.
(Rhett laughs)
- Rhett, you just got four points.
- Yeah I did. - A hard Irish four.
- It's all because I recognized what she was going for
with her character.
- All right you got six points but this last one--
- Is worth five so I can't lose.
- Let's make it worth six.
- Okay so maybe we tie.
- All right bring out the last confession.
- I am am artist, as are all employees at Subway,
but creating art gets really stressful
so we have a unique way of blowing off steam at Subway.
I'm here to confess my co-workers at Subway used
to blank blank in the freezer with the blank.
- Ho, what?
- Not you, your co-workers.
- You know, whatevs.
- You didn't do this? - You didn't participate?
- Hey man, I'm not the one on trial here.
(Rhett laughs)
- So you did participate.
- Blank--
- Blank-- - Blank.
- In the freezer with the blank?
- [Jordan] Yeah.
- With the-- - What can you do
in a freezer?
- Blank blank in a freezer with the blank.
Blank blank in a freezer with the blank.
- There's a number of things you can do in a freezer
with the blank.
But my mind went to one place.
- (sighs) You wanna go first?
- I think your co-workers went in,
make love in the freezer with the manager.
(Link sputters) (crew laughs)
- I said freeze urine in the freezer with the ranch.
- You know like-- - Using the ranch
to freeze the urine or just next to the ranch?
- They would mix urine in the ranch, then freeze it
until they needed it, then they'd thaw it out.
(Link mimics flatulence)
- Well the real answer is my co-workers at Subway used
to have sex in the freezer with the bread.
(Rhett laughs)
- Oh no!
No!
I'm glad you won, man.
I don't want any part of this.
- But hold on, hold on--
- You're gonna give him the point obviously.
- Is the manager's nickname the bread? (laughs)
Because-- - Yes manager,
manager James T. Bread.
- It's difficult to have sex with bread in a freezer.
It's difficult to have sex in a freezer period.
- It's a lot easier to have sex with bread
outside of the freezer. - I don't know,
of those two sentences, I found Link's to be sexier,
so I'm giving him the points.
- Oh! (both laughing)
Okay, yeah, we tied.
I'm in no way proud of it.
- Don't kink-shame me.
(both sigh)
- Okay, we tied which means that
I'm gonna make Link eat the salad with the hair in it
in Good Mythical More.
- Thank you for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi, my name's Matthew.
- My name is Clive.
- And I'm Joe.
- And we're eating pig's brain at a hot pot restaurant
in Shanghai, China and it's time--
- [Matthew And Joe] To spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- Uh. - People are doing it
for fun now.
- Dink it and sink it, boys.
- Click the top link to watch us guess
which Mythical team members worked at what restaurant
in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where
the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land.
- [Rhett] Don't miss out on our Mythical mugs.
Collect all three at Mythical.com
before they're gone forever.