>> James: HOW MANY SHOWS LEFT ON MY QUEUE?
>> YOU HAVE 24,601 SHOWS REMAINING, JAMES.
SHALL I PLAY THEM?
>> James: YES.
PLAY MY CUE.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ THERE'S ONLY SO MANY
SERIES YOU CAN SEE ♪ ONLY SO MANY
SEASONS TO BE BINGED ♪ BEFORE YOUR EYES GLAZE OVER
YOUR ASS FALLS ASLEEP ♪ AND YOUR MIND
STARTS COMING UNHINGED ♪ YOU WATCH NETFLIX
HULU, AMAZON ♪ ¡TIL YOU CAN'T REMEMBER
WHICH PROGRAM IS ON ♪ I'M NOT SPEAKING OF NETWORK TV
WHICH IS WONDERFUL, OBVIOUSLY ♪ SO WHEN YOU TIRE OF FLAT-
SCREEN IMAGES OF ACTORS ♪ WHO AREN'T THERE
PLAYING PARTS IN SHOWS ♪ MADE FAR AWAY
AND FINISHED LONG AGO ♪ TRADE THE REMOTE
FOR THE NEAR ♪ LEAVE YOUR COUCH AND
TRAVEL HERE (
♪ AND EXPERIENCE A DIFFERENT KIND OF SHOW
♪ THE KIND THAT'S...
THE KIND THAT'S LIVE ♪ THE KIND THAT REAL LIVE PEOPLE
RE-CREATE FOR YOU ♪ LIVE
A SHOW THAT'S LIVE ♪ A SHOW WHERE WHEN YOU LAUGH
THE CAST WILL WAIT FOR YOU ♪ ACTUAL PEOPLE IN
AN ACTUAL SPACE ♪ WATCHING ACTORS WHO ARE
ACTUALLY THERE ♪ IT'S SOMETHING UNIQUE TO THAT
TIME AND THAT PLACE ♪ IT'S SOMETHING YOU FEEL
IT'S SOMETHING YOU SHARE ♪ IT'S━-
LIVE!
♪ WE DO IT LIVE!
AND EVERY SINGLE MOMENT'S ♪ UNREPEATABLE
LIVE!
♪ WE DO IT LIVE!
IT CAN'T BE HASHTAGGED AND IT ♪ ISN'T TWEETABLE
THERE IS A VISCERAL BLISS ♪ YOU ONLY GET IN A THEATER
SEEING PEOPLE DO THIS: ♪ THAT'S THE BLISS FOR WHICH
PERFORMERS STRIVE ♪ AND TONIGHT YOU'RE OUR GUEST
AS WE HONOR THE BEST ♪ OF THE BEST WHO DO IT LIVE!
>> James: GOOD EVENING EVERYBODY, AND WELCOME TO THE
73rd ANNUAL TONY AWARDS.
HOST JAMES CORDEN AND TONIGHT WE HAVE A RIF ETING-- SORRY, SORRY,
EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME, BRYAN, BRYAN, WHAT-- WHERE ARE YOU
GOING?
(LAUGHTER) >> I JUST HAVE TO GO TO THE
BATHROOM.
>> James: NOW?
I MEAN THE JOE LITERALLY JUST STARTED.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OPENING NUMBER.
>> I KNOW, BUT I REALLY HAVE TO GO.
>> James: REALLY?
YOU CAN'T JUST WAIT.
>> I'M BLOATED AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!
>> James: BRYAN, BRYAN, LIVE, WE DO IT
♪ LIVE!
WE DO IT LIVE!
♪ WE SING AND DANCE AND AIN'T TOO PROUD TO BEG FOR YOU!
♪ GET READY ¡CAUSE HERE JAMES COMES NOW
♪ GET READY LIVE!
♪ UNDEAD, BUT LIVE!
AND QUITE PREPARED TO SHAKE AN ♪ EXTRA LEG FOR YOU!
EIGHT TIMES A WEEK OUR ACTORS ♪ EXCEL
AT DANCING IN HEELS WITH APLOMB ♪ EIGHT TIMES A WEEK WE GO
STRAIGHT TO HELL!
♪ EIGHT TIMES A WEEK WE GO GAY TO THE PROM!
♪ LIVE!
WHEN WE REVIVE ♪ YOU CAIN'T SAY NO TO MORNINGS
THIS UNMISSABLE!
♪ LIVE!
YOU CAN'T CONTRIVE ♪ ANOTHER OP'NIN' WITH A KATE
MORE KISSABLE!
♪ WE WORK FOR MONTHS IN ADVANC¡! CAUSE WHEN YOU SEE US TONIGHT
♪ WE'LL GET JUST ONE CHANCE!
♪ ♪ ♪ (
>> James: THAT WAS PERFECT!
EVERYONE TAKE FIVE.
TAKE FIVE.
(
♪ IT FEELS TIGHT, IT FEELS GOOD, HEY, EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY,
ATTENTION, LISTEN, JUST REMEMBER, NEXT TIME WE DO IT,
JUST REALLY TRY AND GET THAT VERY-- OH WAIT, I
♪ I FORGOT: THE PERFORMERS CANNOT
♪ TAKE A BREAK ¡CAUSE THIS IS LIVE
YOU'RE NOT WATCHING ♪ A SIGNAL BEAMING
NONE OF OUR SHOWS ARE STREAMING ♪ THEY DON'T JUST START
ANY TIME HERE ♪ WE DON'T CHARGE
VIA MONTHLY BILLING ♪ NOBODY'S ¡BROADWAY AND
CHILLING' ♪ AND NO ONE'S ON BROADWAY PRIME
WE ARE THE HEIRS ♪ OF A GRAND TRADITION
THE STAGE IS OUR NOBLE MISSION ♪ IT RUNS DEEP IN OUR BONES
WE'RE MUCH BETTER ♪ THAN TELEVISION
WE VIEW IT WITH GREAT DERISION ♪ WELL, EXCEPT "GAME OF THRONES"
AND "FLEABAG" ♪ AND "HANDMAID'S TALE"
AND "KILLING EVE" ♪ AND "CASTLE ROCK"
AND "WALKING DEAD" ♪ AND "DEAD TO ME"
AND "STRANGER THINGS" ♪ AND "BETTER THINGS"
AND ANYTHING ♪ THAT ENDS WITH ¡THINGS'
ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK MIRROR ♪ MARVEL'S MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL
BARRY, BASKETS, BLACKISH, ♪ BILLIONS
BOJACK, OZARK, DARK AND NARCOS ♪ RICK AND MORTY
GRACE AND FRANKIE...
AND THE LATE LATE SHOW...
♪ WITH ME, JAMES CORDEN WEEKNIGHTS AT 12:30
♪ RIGHT HERE ON CBS (
AMERICA'S MOST WATCHED NETWORK!
>> E MY GOD, WHAT AM I DOING, WHAT AM I SAYING, TV WAIT,
TELEVISION, WAIT, WAIT, I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING I JUST SAID!
I DIDN'T MEAN A SINGLE WORD OF THAT.
IT IS AUDRA McDONALD MADE ME SAY IT, OKAY.
SHE DID, SHE DID.
SHE DID, THE TRUTH IS, I LOVE YOU, TV.
WE ALL LOVE YOU.
YOU PAY US SO MUCH MORE MONEY THAN THE THEATER.
(LAUGHTER) LAW AND ORDER CORPSES?
LOOK, LET ME LEVEL WITH YOU ABOUT BROADWAY THE PRICE OF
♪ THE PRICE OF A TICKET IS AWFULLY STEEP
♪ YOU BUY IT LAST MINUTE IT STILL ISN'T CHEAP
♪ THE TRIP INTO MIDTOWN'S A TERRIBLE DRIVE
♪ YOU GOTTA LEAVE JERSEY NO LATER THAN 5:00
♪ SOME THEATERS ARE CROWDED OR NOISY OR OLD
♪ OR MAINTAINED AT SIBERIAN LEVELS OF COLD
♪ AND THE SEATS ARE SO NARROW THEY CRUSH LIKE A CLAMP
♪ AND WITH LIMITED LEGROOM YOU'RE LIKELY TO CRAMP
♪ YOU CAN'T TAKE A PHOTO YOU CAN'T USE YOUR PHONE
♪ AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME ASK PATTI LUPONE
♪ AND AS FOR THE LADIES' ROOM I'D RECOMMEND
♪ EITHER TINKLE BEFOREHAND OR WEAR A DEPEND
♪ BUT: TO GAZE AT A STAGE
♪ OF PERFORMERS LIKE THESE OR AT ANY AND ALL
♪ OF TONIGHT'S NOMINEES TO BE IN THEIR PRESENCE
♪ AND BASK IN THEIR ART WILL LIGHTEN YOUR SPIRIT
♪ AND GLADDEN YOUR HEART THE LAUGHS FILL YOUR BELLY
♪ THE TEARS FILL YOUR EYES THE HAIR ON
♪ THE BACK OF YOUR NECK STARTS TO RISE.
AND IT'S SO INDESCRIBABLY ♪ PLEASANT
YOU'RE IN THE MOMENT ♪ AND TOTALLY PRESENT
YOU GO TO A SHOW ♪ ¡CAUSE THE SHOW LETS YOU KNOW
THAT YOU'RE HERE ♪ AND YOU'RE NOW
AND YOU'RE REAL ♪ AND YOU FEEL
ALIVE ♪ AHH
YOU FEEL ALIVE!
♪ YOU FEEL A SENSE OF WONDER REAWAKE IN YOU!
♪ ALIVE!
YOU COME ALIVE ♪ TO COME ALONG TO WHERE THE
SHOW HAS TAKEN YOU ♪ THERE IS THE AUDIENCE
HERE IS THE STAGE ♪ BUT THEATER'S ABOUT
WHAT'S IN BETWEEN ♪ THE ENERGY FLOWS
AND YOUR SENSES ENGAGE ♪ IN WAYS THAT THEY CAN'T
WHEN YOU ♪ STARE AT A SCREEN
IT ISN'T THAT BROADWAY'S ♪ SOME GRAND PANACEA
BUT IT CAN REMIND YOU IT'S ♪ THRILLING TO BE...
...ALIVE!
♪ TO BE ALIVE!
TO BE EXCITED AND EXHILARATED!
♪ BROADWAY'S ALIVE!
AND THAT IS WORTHY ♪ TO BE CELEBRATED
EVERYONE'S HERE; ♪ IT'S TIME TO BEGIN
WE'RE GLAD YOU SHOWED UP AND ♪ WE'RE GLAD YOU TUNED IN
AS FOR ME, I'LL SIMPLY SAY THAT ♪ I'VE BEEN UNSURE ALONG
IF I'D GET THROUGH THIS SONG ♪ BUT I DID AND IT'S DONE
AND BY GOD, IT WAS FUN!
♪ IT'S THE TONYS...
AND WE ♪ ARE
LIVE ♪ WE'RE LIVE ♪
(