Hello there ...
Our minds are meant to be a tool
that we use to assist in our intention in going through life,
but this is simply not the reality for most of us.
For most of us, our Mind uses
When we experience a negative circumstance, or event,
what happens is, our mind instantly matches
the vibration of that particular event.
And then,
it attracts like-thoughts to It.
Now, pretty soon that creates enough momentum
that we're essentially spiraling downward
... and spiraling fast ...
Now, you're the junction
where two aspects of you meet.
Your Eternal-Aspect
and your Temporal-Aspect.
The way you emotionally feel in your life
is about the Vibrational-Similarity
or the Vibrational-Difference
between these two aspects of you.
If they are far apart in vibration,
you experience negative emotion,
and if they're close together
you experience positive emotion.
Therefore, you can use your emotion and thought
to close the Vibrational-distance
between your Eternal-Self
and your Temporal-Self.
This process, in mainstream psychology,
is called Self-Soothing.
So, I'm going to introduce you to a Self-Soothing Process
that basically bridges the gap
between your Eternal-Self and your Temporal-Self.
Now, sometimes I like to do this particular thing in writing,
(more often than not, in fact)
because I find it very difficult to keep that all in my head
but some people
If you are going on a trip,
let's say you wanted to get to the top of a mountain somewhere,
most likely you'd go buy a map
(or, I guess you
they invented some sort of technological device
to tell you how to get there)
but let's just assume, this is, like, a hundred years ago,
you would have bought a map, and what you would have done,
is you would have started with Point A
(wherever
then you would have looked for Point B,
and then you would have figured out the shortest distance
between Point A and Point B.
You would have, essentially, bridged that distance
between those two points ...
We're going to take this Thought/Emotional journey together,
cause you're gonna be doing the very same thing
by first finding your Point A,
then finding your Point B,
and then, bridging the distance
between these two points.
Point A is decided by answering three questions;
And here they are:
- "What negative thing happened?"
- "What negative thoughts did it cause me to think?"
- "How did it make me feel?"
Then you're going to decide where Point B is ...
Point B is going to be decided by these three questions:
- "What did this experience cause me to know, that I want?"
- "What did this experience cause me to know, that I want to think?"
- "What did this experience cause me to know, that I want to feel?"
And now, in this final step,
what you're going to do is to bridge the distance
between Point A and Point B
by finding things to think or things to write down,
that cause you to feel a little bit better,
and a little bit better, and a little bit better,
and a little bit better ...
until you're in the vibrational range of Point B.
And you always want to start with where you
Oftentimes when we begin this
closing of the vibrational distance type of a activity,
you want to first start by expressing.
So if there's anything that's pent-up
that just needs to come out,
you wanna basically start by expressing
You wanna get that out so that you can start
moving in the direction of where you wanna go,
instead of feeling like you've got something anchored
or building-up there that needs release.
Once you've done that,
you just wanna think of anything
that will cause an improvement or sensation of relief
within your system.
And then, the next thought that causes relief,
and the next thought that causes relief.
It's basically like trying to find the next best thing to think,
or the next best item of proof to look at
that makes you feel better about the situation.
I've got an actual concrete example
thanks to one of my clients, here with me today ...
Okay, in this person's example:
- [What happened?]
"I wrote my crush a letter 6 days ago and he has not responded to it at all.
"In fact, he's not been contacting me at all after I sent that letter."
- [What thoughts did it cause me to think?]
"It caused me to think I'm worthless and I'm unsafe and I'm stupid for writing that letter "
"and that no one cares about me."
- [How did it make me feel?]
"Uncertain, unstable, confused, sick to my stomach, "
"afraid - like I did something wrong, afraid of the future, "
"worried, waiting for the axe to fall, unsafe, at his mercy, "
"not cared about,
like I'm falling for a merciless person, "
"afraid of total abandonment,
forsaken, alone, unresolved, "
"like there's no solution, stuck in a purgatory of waiting, "
"super, super confused ..."
That, there, was Point A ...
Based on that answer,
this client then figured out where Point B was.
- [What did it cause me to know, that I want?]
"I want to have a partner in my life who prioritizes the way I feel "
"and who wants to actively work towards
Resolve & Solution when conflict arises."
"I want someone who creates a 3rd-entity within a relationship, "
"who puts effort into it."
"I want someone who genuinely cares that I feel good, "
"and does what it takes to add to my happiness "
"and take away my distress. "
"I want a man who values my time and values me enough "
"not to make me wait on him to decide things, "
"
- [What thoughts did it cause me to know, that I want to think?]
"I wanna think my partner loves and values me. "
"I wanna think my happiness matters,
and people in my life love me enough to add to it. "
"I want to think I am emotionally safe."
- [What did it cause me to know, that I want to feel?]
"I wanna feel empowered, "
"I wanna feel valued and like I'm special, "
"I wanna feel excited for the future, "
"I wanna feel safe and feel the trust inherent
in knowing that I can keep myself safe."
And now, this is how my particular client
bridged the distance between Point A and Point B ...
"I can't believe he's doing this to me -
this guy is a complete ass-hole ... "
"I absolutely can't believe that after all the time we spent together
this is how he thinks it's okay to treat me ... "
"This is just ridiculous!"
So that there, demonstrates
that this particular client
was made to feel
That's because we started off
in a Vibrational-range that was more close
to total Powerlessness or, to Shame.
It continues ...
"When I think about it,
it's understandable why I feel this way."
"I expect to lose love and be punished "
"every time I do something that displeases someone "
"because that's what my Mom did to me, all growing up ... "
"Now, I feel like Love should feel this way
but I'm open to the idea that it doesn't
'I'm seeing that connection should feel good "
"because it feels loving and supportive and warm "
"not because it's the
"This is not an emotionally-safe relationship
- and I'm dedicated to keeping myself safe ... "
"When I think about it,
I can close the door to the pattern of mine "
"without closing the door to the person. "
"To me, closing the door to the pattern would mean "
"I will spend my time focusing on what I like to do,
and remind myself "
"that I do not want to spend my life chasing after a man."
"I can't know 100% why he's not writing-back ... "
"... chances are, I'm making the worst of it. "
'I might in fact, not be hearing back "
"because of all the healing that I've been doing lately. "
"He might not be in my presence because I'm a new match
to a different kind of man - "
"one who is committed and who honors my boundaries
and who cherishes me and really wants a relationship ... "
"I'm looking forward to the feeling of being with a man
who really
"I'm so looking forward to being with someone
who puts real effort into a relationship "
"and real effort into my happiness and well-being. "
"I'm so looking forward to being with a man who actually feels lucky to have found me ... "
"... who wants to reach out and contact me every day ... "
"I'm feeling "
"that a man who is capable of really participating in my life "
"might actually be right around the corner, "
"and in fact, when I look at my life, "
"I do have a lot of people in my life "
"who
"and who
"I've been playing this game right
by saying '
"and if you don't come forward eventually,
I'll take
"A solution is on its way - "
"I don't have to know, until I know. "
"Each day is getting better & better and easier & easier, "
"and I'm learning more about myself. "
"So, one day, I really will have the answer about what to do about this situation. "
"I will have resolve and I will have closure
and it's okay to be where I am -"
"
It's a really good idea
when you're trying to bridge that distance
between where you are and the place you would rather be,
to think about how that place you would rather be
is actually a part of your current life
How do you
How are you close to them?
There's really only one 'wrong' way to do this process
and that's to not be tuned-in to your emotions enough
to recognize the sensation of relief.
If you're not tuned-in enough to know what thought feels better or worse
it's gonna be really, really, hard
to know which direction that you're gonna wanna go in,
or whether, when you think a thought,
that thought actually takes you in the direction of where you wanna be
or, closer to where you don't wanna be.
So it's really important that you do this
based on how you
not based on things you think you
So, in other words, you don't want to play this
like you play your typical Affirmations
where you say something like:
"I love Myself"
but you really don't believe that
so it actually just makes you more acutely aware of where you
I don't want you to think
I want you, really honestly, to tune-in to only the thoughts
that are
Remember that we may need to express a hell of a lot of anger
in order to feel good enough
to think even a pessimistic thought while doing this exercise.
The exercise can be ended whenever you feel relief
relative to the whole situation.
Feel free to involve other people in this process also if you feel inclined
or, if you feel like you'd benefit by their help.
It does take a bit of practice, but by doing this Process
you are taking the bull by the horns
and you are
to alter your Vibration
relative to whatever event occurred,
or, to a certain subject-matter.
You are also drawing yourself closer to the things
you want to experience in life
so they manifest quicker.
You are also releasing resistance to the things that are un-wanted.
Self-Soothing is a very powerful thing to learn to do.
Because it gives you the power
to be able to alter the way you feel,
so that you're not trying to control
all of the external conditions of your life
just so that you feel good.
It's exhausting and it's also futile to do it that way.
This is a Process that I use myself on at least a weekly basis.
I want you to remember something ...
Even though it takes practice,
to learn how to do this particular process
(to Self-Sooth intentionally)
anything that you make a habit,
your brain will learn how to do,
and then, will do it automatically.
Have a good week ...
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com