Hi, and welcome back to my YouTube channel.
I'm Anne Koopman.
I'm a leadership coach for emerging leaders, and I help you to lead
with courage, authenticity, emotional intelligence, and
confidence through your strength.
In this video, we will be talking about resilience and how we can
strengthen our resilience as leaders so that we are ready to face any
challenge that might come our way.
Make sure that you subscribe to my channel and also hit the notification
bell, so you don't miss any of my future episodes and let's get straight into it.
So 2020, what a year.
As I record this, we are in the middle of November, and we probably had a really
big and challenging year for all of us.
We had to deal with concerns about jobs or finances.
We had to deal with lockdown in isolation, kids home from school
childcare closed, and a lot of different challenges along the way.
And I'm sure it's been difficult for each and every one of us in a different way.
That's for sure.
For me personally, having my own business and a very young business,
it definitely was challenging because I had to adapt how I do business.
I had to move everything online really quickly, and a lot of organizations
and corporations that I work with actually paused or stopped any
work with me because they obviously had to fight their challenges
and focus on something different.
So I had to adjust how I do business and that felt challenging
from time to time, but I've also been able to embrace the change.
And it helped me to come up with new innovative ideas.
But I've also struggled personally.
I found the isolation really hard.
And here in Australia, we actually had a second lockdown
that lasted for four months.
And, I found that really hard to not feel inspired, and it was really
hard for me to keep my motivation up.
But what has helped me was to have my resilience support kit in place.
Now resilience is a funny thing.
We need it the most when things are really tough.
But the time to work on it and build our resilience is actually all the other
times when we're actually feeling okay.
So we wanna build our support kit so that it's ready and there to help us.
Whenever we face challenges, things get tough.
Things happen to us that are out of our control.
As leaders it's so important that we build our resilience support kit.
We need our energy, not only for ourselves, but also for
the people that we lead.
So if things get tough or challenging, we need to be able to get back
out really quickly so that we can also lead our team and help them
to come out of the challenge.
What I'm sharing with you today and the strategies they work for you,
and they also work for your team.
So once you have started to build your support kit, help your team to
do the same, help them invest in these strategies and that way all of you will
become more resilient for next year.
I like to work with the seven Cs for resilience.
That is a concept by Kenneth Ginsburg.
And I really liked this concept because often when people talk about resilience,
we talk about coping skills, mental and emotional coping skills, for example.
But for me, resilience and having a support kit in place
actually means so much more.
And we have to invest in more areas than just our coping skills.
So in this episode, I want to run you through the seven Cs, what they
mean, and also what you can do to build that resilience support kit.
So make sure you have a notebook ready and you can take notes so
that you can take action now to build your resilience support kit.
So next year in 2021, you're ready for whatever challenge you might be facing.
So what are the seven Cs of resilience?
It's about competence, confidence, connection, character
contribution, coping, and control.
And we will run through one by one now, and I will share with
you a little bit what's behind it.
What does it actually mean?
And also what you can do to build it.
So number one is competence, and that's really knowing all our skills and
what we are already doing really well.
The things we've learned along the way, the things we've
picked up during different jobs.
And also the things we learned doing training, investing in training,
listening to podcasts, watching YouTube videos and really all the competencies
that we have learned and practiced.
It's about reflecting.
What skills will help you when things get difficult?
What are the skills and competencies you need in your role to do your role well.
Start to list all of these and start to see, okay, are there any gaps?
Do you need to invest in some skills to really make sure that you are
covered and that you can deal with any situation that you might face?
And here it's not about knowing everything, but it's about having
problem solving skills and knowing the right people so that when things get
tough, you know where to look things up, you know, how to solve and figure
things out, or you know who to talk to.
To reflect on it.
You can think about it.
What are the things that you do really well?
What are the things that come easy to you?
What are the things that people come to you when they ask you for help?
These can be signs for your special competencies and skills that
you have learned along the way.
The next C is confidence and confidence means that you trust in your own
abilities, that you really trust in your strength and that, you know, all that
you've achieved already, all that you have accomplished and that, you know,
and trust that whatever you have learned will help you figuring things out, going
forward, that you have what it takes.
So what helps here is to focus on your strength and really
reflect on your strength.
You can do a CliftonStrengths assessment, for example, or you can start to reflect
on past achievements and past challenges and start to look at all the things
you've already overcome or have achieved.
As an exercise.
I want you to list out three things that you really like about yourself.
Next, think about three achievements just off the past week.
Three things that you're proud of.
And lastly, a key to building confidence is to put ourselves out of our comfort
zone on a regular basis, taking small steps out of your comfort zone will
teach you that you can deal with the unknown, that you are able to overcome
little challenges that you set yourself.
That way.
next time something big happens that was unforeseen, you
know, I've done this before.
I can do hard things.
So think about one thing you can do next week to step out of your comfort zone.
This could be having a network meeting with someone you don't know.
It could be signing up to your new course or class, or it could be
talking to a stranger on the street.
What is one thing that will challenge you to step out of your comfort zone?
Number three of the seven Cs is connection.
For us to overcome any challenges in our life and to be really resilient,
we need to have the feeling that we have people that have our back and
that will catch us when we fall.
We need a sense of belonging and security.
We want a strong, supportive network.
So who are the people in your life, your friends, your family, your
colleagues, your mentors, your peers, your manager, your team,
who are the people in your life?
What are the communities that you're part of?
Do you have any hobbies?
Are you part of a club?
Who are the people in your life that are there for you?
And as a bit of an exercise to really strengthen this is to
reflect on all the different groups that you have and who are the key
people that you can really rely on.
And here I would look at your private life and your professional life because you
need people that can understand all the sides of you and know you really well.
So if things happen at work, have someone that understands what's
going on there, for example.
So reflect on key relationships that you have.
And then, because relationships are a give and take, think about what
you can do for the other person.
How can you strengthen the relationships?
So write down an action for each person in your safety network to see
how you can do something nice for them or supportive for them to build
and invest in that relationship.
It's really important that we make sure we give as well.
And if something then happens to you or you need help, they will be there.
No questions asked.
The fourth C is your character.
And that really means knowing your values, understanding what's
right or wrong, having a true connection to what you really care
about and your guiding principles.
That's so important for resilience, because it will help you to
make the difficult decisions.
It will help you to stay on your path.
It will help you to see the way forward when things get tough.
It'll motivate you to go back up again because you can connect it to your values
and what you really truly care about.
It also helps you to forgive yourself when you make mistakes, because when
you reflect back on your values and you reflect back on why you did the
things you did, you will see that you've decided to based on your values.
And yes, maybe things didn't work out.
Maybe there was a better way to do things, but your intentions were right.
And often then it's much easier to forgive ourselves and feel
motivated to just try it again.
So reflect on your values.
What are your core values?
What do you stand for?
What are your non-negotiables?
If you want a little bit more help with that, make sure you check out episode
number five of my podcast, where I talk about how you can lead with your values
and in that episode I provide you steps on how you can develop your values.
And then also, how can you live by your values and what actions you can take.
So make sure you check out that episode as well.
The fifth C of the seven Cs resilience toolkit is the contribution.
What is your contribution to the wellbeing of others or to
the bigger good of the world?
What is your why?
What's your purpose?
And that is so important because if we know why we do the things that we
do, if we know why we do hard things, if we know why it's important to get
back up again, we will be able to find the energy, find the motivation
to get up again and try again.
To keep fighting for what we believe in for our work, for our team, me,
for my business, when things got tough this year, I knew why I was
doing the things that I was doing.
So I pivoted, I changed my direction.
I found different ways to serve my clients.
Cause that was my bigger why.
So understanding what you stand for.
What do you want to be part of?
And to do that, you can start to reflect on your passions, things that you
really care about that excites you and energize you, you can reflect on people
that you admire for their contribution.
And what about that did you admire.
Starting to find some clues of what are the bigger causes that you care about?
And it doesn't have to be changing the world.
It could also just be to have an impact on the people that you lead
or the people that are in your life.
How do you want to make people feel when they interact with you?
What's the change you want to help to create.
Finding your purpose takes a little while.
So keep reflecting on that, making notes and just keep
adding to it and changing it up.
At one point, you will feel quite certain about your purpose.
And it will help you to succeed and persevere in difficult times.
Number six is coping and these are the traditional coping strategies
that I lot of people talk about.
when we talk about resilience.
Here, it's about how do you cope and how do you release stress mentally,
emotionally, and physically?
How do you take care of these three elements of yourself?
Start to reflect mentally.
What can you do to lift the load of your mind?
What can you do to write down difficult tasks, to delegate,
to prioritize your days?
What can you do to lighten the load?
How can you reduce the stress on your mind?
And it is closely connected to your emotional coping strategies.
A big strategy there is mindfulness, meditation.
How do you calm down when things are tough?
Who are the people that you can talk to?
Make sure that you talk to them regularly.
What are the strategies you can implement?
And then physically it's about how well do you move your body?
How well do you sleep and rest?
And obviously what do you eat and put inside of your body?
Think about these things - mentally, emotionally, and physically.
How can you build strategies that help you to relax and reduce your stress?
And here it's also so important that we do that before things get
tough so that our body and our mind are in the best shape possible.
And we have the most energy to deal with difficult times.
And lastly, the last C is control.
I just want to remind you that you have control over your
thoughts, your decisions, your actions, and your behaviors.
You can change things.
Often though, we worry about things that are way outside of our control.
We waste emotional energy to worry about things that we can't
influence or to be angry about decisions other people have made.
What you can choose though, is to not worry about the things that you have no
influence or control over and focus your energy on the things that you can change.
This will allow you to have enough emotional energy for your own causes and
your work and for the things that matter.
If we waste energy on things that we can't even impact, you won't
be ready and prepared for things if they get tough on your end.
This year, a lot of things happened that were out of our control.
A lot of decisions were made about our lives, our lockdown, and there
were not necessarily in our control.
But what we could control is how do we deal with that?
What are the decisions we make for us, for our family, for our
jobs and yes that is difficult.
I know.
a key exercise you can do here is to start to reflect whenever you feel
overwhelmed, write down all the things that you worry about, everything in
your mind, that you're worried about, angry, frustrated, whatever causes you
to feel a certain way, write it all down.
And then start to cluster these things into three different groups: into your
circle off concern, your circle of influence and your circle of control.
The difference here is that your circle of control are things that you can, right
away, address, change, or take action on.
These are things that you have in your full control to change.
These might be things like your schedule, when you wake up, what you eat, what you
do in a day, how you structure your day.
Then you have the circle of influence.
And these are things that you can influence an impact over time by
working with the right people, talking to the right people, by
inspiring others to take action.
These are the things that you have impact on, but they're not fully in your control.
You might have to work with other people to get these things done.
And then you have the circle of concern.
Those are all the things that matter to us because a lot of things out there
matter to us, but we actually do not have any control or influence over them.
We can't influence those decisions.
So once you've clustered all of the things that are on your mind
into these three categories, then what I want you to do with that is:
1) The circle of control category.
Take action, straightaway, address the things that worry
you find solution straight away.
2) Circle of influence, define actions.
Who do you need to talk to?
What do you need to do?
How can you start to drive change in that area?
3) Circle of concern, everything that you've written here, I
want you to release, let go.
These are things that you can't change.
So even if you spent days and hours to be upset, to be angry, to be frustrated,
to worry about it, to be scared of what's going to happen, you can't change it.
You don't know what's going to happen and you don't have any impact on that.
So wasting your energy will take away energy from the things that matter and
the things that you can actually control.
So release the things in the circle of concern, focus on your circle
of control and circle of influence.
That will help you to be more resilient, to have more energy, to bounce back
from difficult times and try again and persevere whenever things feel tough.
So these were the seven Cs.
To recap, we talked about the seven seas for your resilience support kit.
The seven CS are competence, confidence, connection, character,
contribution, coping and control.
If you start to invest a little bit in each area over time, you will build
that support kit so that when things get tough, you're well-equipped to overcome.
Reflect on the seven Cs, remind yourself of your competencies, of your strengths,
build your confidence, review your values, your why what's your contribution?
Why are you doing what you're doing?
Talk to the people in your support network.
Use the strategies of your coping skills.
And question whether what you worried about, or what you're trying
to achieve is actually in your circle of control or influence.
When things are tough, it's also important.
And that's part of your emotional coping techniques to give yourself a rest,
to allow yourself to be frustrated, to allow yourself, to process your emotions.
If we try too hard and we go again and again, we will just exhaust ourselves.
It's okay sometimes to just take a break.
And to not wanting to do anything at all.
That is totally okay.
You have my permission to take a break, allow yourself and give yourself the space
you need, and then reflect on your 7 Cs.
Look at your support kid and start to build again.
I really hope that these seven strategies were helpful for you to
build your resilience, support kit.
Comment below which of the seven Cs resonated the most with you.
And what are you going to give a try and I can't wait to read your comments,
make sure you subscribe and hit the like button if you like this video.
And I'm looking forward to seeing you soon.