- I'm going on trial for all of my transgressions
that I've made in the past two weeks.
(smacks table)
(soft jazz music)
(laughing)
I thought I was gonna be serious and then you out did me.
Oh, now I'm nervous.
So, yeah Freddie's gonna go through my search history.
Thankfully, she got a new phone
and she's like updating it.
- It's getting updated and stuff.
- So, I can't go through her search history.
- But, I can go through yours.
(laughing)
- I think we're gonna go through
my internet search history, my Instagram search history,
and then should we do my Spotify search history?
- Oh cute, yeah let's do that.
- Yeah, what would we have found in yours?
- I mean, I Google so many things, like actors wives.
- Is that shameful?
Cause like, I do the same, you'll see,
I do the same thing.
It's mostly like, oh he's so hot,
Who's his wife? - Or a lot of times,
yeah a lot of times I'm like looking up actors ages.
- So I'm just gonna give you my pin?
(magical music)
(laughing)
- Okay, so I'm gonna start from the top.
- Alright, alright, alright.
- It says, I just want to make a grown man cry.
(laughing)
- Why did I Google that?
Okay, to be fair, - Is that a song lyric?
- It's a song lyric, it's a song lyric.
- John Mulaney wife.
- Yeah (laughing)
- Let's unpack that.
- Well, I mean what is there to say?
John Mulaney is gorgeous.
Um, I ran into him when we were in New York this past month.
He was in Chelsea, walking his dog
and I was just like, I didn't say anything or do anything,
but then I was like, oh my God,
he's so gorgeous even in person.
And then I looked up his wife.
His wife, equally as gorgeous, equally as smart.
I am so happy for them.
- Horoscopes for the full moon Taurus.
- I Googled my horoscope for the full moon
'cause I was feeling extra (bubble popping) one day.
And so I thought maybe it had something
to do with the stars.
Couldn't have to do anything with me.
(laughing)
- Tow Companies
- Someone parked in front of mt driveway
and I was like, no I'm gonna tow this
(spooky music)
and then I was like, no Devin,
you're acting out of a place of anger.
Just go knock on your neighbors doors
and tell them to move their car.
So, I spent 15 minutes searching for whose car it was,
introduced myself to my neighbor,
he was like, yeah my wife's out of town
so I'm just taking care of my son by myself.
My hands are really full so I just forgot to move it.
And I'm like fine.
And then it made me feel good that I didn't tow the car.
- Yeah.
- Cause he just seemed like a dad overwhelmed.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch Netflix.
That was my Halloween costume.
Oh, so you were looking up like.
- How to look like her. - Yeah.
You nailed it. - Thank you, thank you.
It's just the blonde bob.
- KingTutexhibition.com
- You're just revealing my nerd.
(laughing)
Nerdisms.
I really liked Egypt when I was a little girl
and like studying about mummies.
And so, King Tut is in town.
I want to go see him. - Awe.
This is for Columbia?
- Yeah, I'm going to Columbia in January
with Patrick, my boyfriend, to celebrate
my 30th birthday and four years together.
- How long? - Ten days.
- Ooh, nice. - I'm excited.
- Turn off your email.
- Instagram search history.
Now this is where you're gonna really
see the dark side of Devin.
- Who Devin's creepin' on.
- Yeah, I've been creepin' on people.
See with your Instagram search history
that's where your deepest, darkest self comes out.
You know, that's when you're like on Instagram,
you see somebody tag someone,
you're like who is this bitch? - Yes.
- Yeah, so Freddie (clearing throat) saw
that I was creepin' on my ex.
My ex from like five years ago.
I saw his (bubble popping) on the internet, recently.
And I was like, eww I hate him.
And so, then I hate looked him up.
(laughing)
So, sometimes if I search my ex
it's honestly just to keep tabs
to make sure he's staying on his side of the coast.
- Um, Kristin.
Becky Habersberger.
- Becky, Keiths wife, is so wonderful.
- Yeah, she's really sweet. - I love her so much.
- Chantelle Houston, she's fine.
Round Boys.
Awe.
Round animals.
- So, when I'm sad, I like to look up Round Boys.
- Okay, that wasn't to crazy.
- It wasn't to crazy, no. - No.
- I mean the ex was in there,
but like whatever he adds spice to the cocktail.
- Okay, first of all I just want to start off by saying
your Spotify playlists are always fire.
- Thank you.
So, that's the daily.
That's like my New York Times Podcast
that I listen to every morning,
but this morning I started listing to it
and I got anxious. - Mmm.
- So, I feel like I can't do that anymore,
I can't listen to it in the mornings.
- In the morning first thing, yeah.
- I love Billie Eilish.
I'm obsessed with her.
- Oh my gosh, yeah she has spiders crawling
out of her mouth.
Did you show me that? - Mmhm.
- I love her so much.
She's this like 15 or 16 year old
who has this insane beautiful voice.
She did a duet with Khalid.
Its just insane.
I love her so much.
- Number one dads.
What's number one dads?
- Number one dads is a band
I think out of Australia or New Zealand
and they are like this Indie band.
They do a lot of remixes.
I just really like them, they're very soulful.
- Cute.
Thomas Abban.
- Yeah, he's just like this man with a very high voice.
That's great, sometimes I like to listen to him.
- That's it. - Yeah.
- Cute!
- Pretty tame.
- Very tame.
- I will say that my heart is beating so fast.
(laughing)
- My search history is just very much like, blowjob tricks.
- You don't need to Google that, I'll tell you.
(upbeat music)