today we're going to be talking about stress how it affects you and a number
of ways that you can manage and reduce your stress
hi everyone in today's video we're going to be talking about stress which is something
that we all experience and something that we all have to learn to cope with
we're going to be talking about common stressors people will experience some
of the ways that stress affects your body in a number of different ways to manage stress
before I get into that just a couple of disclaimers to go over I'm a registered
psychologist in the province of British Columbia Canada and this video is for informational
purposes only it is not intended as a substitute or replacement for advice from your doctor or
mental health professional now with those things out of the way let's start talking about stress
now stress is a normal part of life something that we all experience to some extent on a daily basis
some stressors we Face are relatively mild such as getting stuck in traffic whereas other
stressors can be much more significant such as the loss of a job or marital difficulties
stress can become problematic when it becomes so frequent or severe that it begins to interfere
with a person's life stressors can begin to feel overwhelming like there's no end to the stress or
that there's no way to cope with all of the stress or all of the challenges that a person's facing
so what are some examples of stressors well lots of things good and bad can be stressful
relationships with other people can be a significant source of stress toxic
relationships marital problems difficulties dealing with children challenging work callings
we're surrounded by people and therefore it's not surprising that our relationships with others can
sometimes become a source of stress now the ironic thing is that healthy and supportive relationships
can play an important role in buffering against the effects of stress other sources of stress
include major life changes like getting married getting divorced retiring um it's actually in
fact retirement can be a major risk factor for stress and psychological difficulties is
many people often are unprepared for retirement and they find themselves suddenly without purpose
status or Direction in their life and this can be really really challenging and very stressful
um day-to-day activities and tasks can be stressors things like getting stuck in traffic
having to shuttle children around to their various extracurricular activities figuring out what
you're going to make for dinner or who's making dinner getting all of those household repairs done
these seemingly little stressors can build up over time and they can have a significant
impact on a person in fact some research suggests that these small day-to-day stressors
can have a much more significant impact on a person's psychological Health than what
we would consider much larger stressors work in school can be significant sources of stress just
ask any University student around midterms or final exam time how they're feeling and
they're likely to tell you that they're extremely stressed with everything that they have to do
having to complete work projects particularly when there's tight deadlines or multiple demands all
happening at once these can trigger high levels of stress finally even positive events can become
a source of stress one of the most stressful times of year for people occurs around the
holidays when they're trying to organize holiday activities buying president buying presents for
people organizing parties these are all seemingly fun activities but they can be quite stressful
one of the most stressful experiences for people is becoming a parent for the first time
um this is a wonderful experience but can also be one of the most stressful
and anxiety provoking times in a person's life as new mothers and fathers struggle to figure
out how they can balance uh life and caring for a new child another example is preparing
for a big vacation or trip that you're looking forward to it's really positive but organizing
all the packing making sure the passports are up to date figuring out travel itineraries it's all
working towards the goal of something positive but it can still be stressful so there are lots
of things both good and bad that can serve as a source of stress or trigger stress in a person
and often we're so consumed with what we're trying to do in our lives that we're not
even aware that we're experiencing stress until we start to notice symptoms of stress
which tend to gradually build over time so it's not like you just wake up one morning and suddenly
feel all of these symptoms of stress but it tends to be more Insidious kind of sneaking up on you
and so some of the most common signs and symptoms of stress include things like irritability or
moodiness um see the thing is stress can tend to drain your fuel tank so you have
just less resources available to tolerate or cope with things that might not otherwise bother
you such as your spouse leaving the light on or the kids making too much noise what stress does
is it can make your sh your fuse a lot shorter leading to irritability or being easily angered
um stress can lead to difficulty sleeping either problems falling asleep staying asleep
or waking up really early in the morning and having difficulty falling back asleep
stress can contribute to high levels of worry and a general sense of anxiety or restlessness or just
lots of restless energy um stress can contribute to a variety of physical complaints like back
pain or neck pain headaches upset stomach chest tightness rashes skin breakouts and some physical
changes you might not even notice until you get tested things like increased blood pressure
um if you have pre-existing physical conditions um like chronic pain or diabetes stress can lead
to a worsening in these conditions or making it more difficult to manage them stress can also
make a person more susceptible to colds and flus as stress tends to suppress the immune
system making a person more vulnerable to getting sick or taking longer to recover from sickness uh
stress can lead to changes in appetite typically reduced appetite but also sometimes people can
turn eating to try and help cope with stress which also isn't all that productive or helpful
um so if you think about it if you're experiencing all of these symptoms or impacts of stress
that's not going to be great it's not going to feel great the symptoms of stress can reduce
quality of life and people experiencing ongoing stress might notice that their relationships
personal health and work performance all may begin to suffer as a result of these various impacts
of stress so what are some of the things that you can do to better manage or cope
with stress or to try to limit the negative impact that stress is having on your life
well one of the first steps this sounds a bit obvious but it's important is to identify and
be aware of your stressors sometimes one of the biggest challenges in coping with stress is not
recognizing that we're actually experiencing stress or that there are problems or challenges
in our life that we're not dealing with that we're not addressing if you're better able to recognize
these problems or stressors you might find that some of the things are within your control and
that there are things that you can actually do to take some steps to address these problems
so for example if I recognize that I'm constantly getting behind on work projects and that's a big
source of stress for me always being behind what I can do is I can try and problem-solve ways of
improving my organization or delegating tasks to other people in order to stay better on top
of things but if I don't recognize the problem of getting behind on work projects I'll never
try to figure out more effective or efficient ways of working so therefore the first key step
is to recognize and identify the stressors or problems that might be contributing to my stress
now related to this another key component to Stress Management is being more effective
in problem solving a lot of stressors that we experience in life can be attributed to
problems that aren't being addressed or aren't being dealt with and therefore if we can become
more effective at solving these problems we're going to experience less result less stress
as a result uh problem solving is an active engaged process involving a variety of
steps like clarifying and defining the problem brainstorming Solutions developing an action plan
to address the problem and and actually engaging in the action plan now I've done some videos on
effective problem solving skills so I'd encourage you to take a look at those if you're interested
in learning more about more effective ways of solving problems now another effective way of
coping with stressors particularly interpersonal stressors involves being more assertive
learning assertiveness skills and tools can be helpful in establishing healthy boundaries with
other people and communicating more effectively to prevent or resolve interpersonal conflicts so for
example if I'm feeling like I'm having to do much more of the household chores than my wife is doing
and that having to try and keep up with all of the household chores and all of my work is
overwhelming and contributing to my stress well one way to reduce the stress is to assertively
communicate with my wife that I need more help and for us to figure out a better way of balancing and
divvying up the household responsibilities to take some of that pressure and stress
off of me so a certain discs can be really really helpful and if you're interested in learning more
about assertiveness skills I've done a series of videos on assertiveness that you may want to take
a look at so the stress management techniques that I've talked about so far they really focus
on trying to address and resolve problems or challenges that are contributing to my stress
however some stressors can't be eliminated or dealt with right away and so it's important to
recognize that Stress Management also involve ways also involves ways of coping with stress
for those stressors that you can't readily eliminate or reduce
essentially these are tools that can help buffer against the effects of stress and one
of the most effective tools to buffer or cope with the effects of stress is regular exercise
by building regular exercise into your life it promotes a healthy and balanced lifestyle
that can help burn off the physical impacts of stress but also give you
more energy boosts self-confidence and can serve as a source of pleasure and reward
particularly if the exercise that you're doing is something that you enjoy doing
um it's also important to recognize that stress can drain your fuel tank it can drain
your energy wear you down therefore it's extremely important to ensure that you're fueling yourself
properly by eating well and making sure that you're getting enough sleep now I know these
can sound like really obvious things but you'd be surprised by the number of people that I work with
who are experiencing high levels of stress and where we initially have to focus on is ensuring
that they're taking care of themselves by eating regularly and establishing a good sleep schedule
um another important tool that can help cope with the impact of stress is relaxation skills
now there's lots of different forms of relaxation techniques ranging from things like progressive
muscle relaxation where you tend to release different muscle groups throughout the body
deep breathing exercises meditation visualization exercises and mindfulness
these relaxation techniques are skills and therefore they typically don't come
naturally to people they often take some time and effort to practice but with practice
these skills can be really effective in terms of reducing some of the physical impacts of stress
it's also extremely important to make sure that you're building rewarding activities
into your life as a way of buffering a buffering against the effects of stress
critical to ensure that you're taking time out to spend with family and friends in relationships
that are rewarding and meaningful for you it's critical to ensure that you're still
engaging in recreational activities Hobbies things that you enjoy doing
you see these are the types of activities that we often view as indulgent or luxuries
and it's the social and recreational activities that we enjoy doing these
are the things that tend to be the first to Fall by the wayside when we're under stress
the problem is if you're not engaging in these activities when you're under stress then what
happens is that your fuel tank gets drained and there's nothing replenishing it which
means that you get more worn out and more exhausted by the stressors therefore it's
critical to recognize that recreational and social activities are not indulgent luxuries
but necessary tools to help cope with stress and to have a more sustainable lifestyle
um finally it's important to recognize whether the way you're thinking about
problems or stressors in your life might be making the stress worse
we can often engage in negative thinking patterns that can contribute to us worrying more
catastrophizing leading to self-defeating thoughts and sapping motivation therefore it's important to
ensure that you think in realistic ways about the stressors and challenges and problems
um and I've done a whole series of videos on recognizing and challenging negative thinking
patterns and so I'd strongly encourage you to take a look at those if you recognize that
negative thinking patterns might be one of the causes or the sources or or contributing factors
to your stress so I hope that gives you a better sense of some of the various sources
of stress that we often experience the impact the stress can have on us and the various ways
that we can cope with stress either through reducing the intensity of stressors in our life
or by learning ways to cope better with stressors that we do experience
um so I hope that makes sense I would love to hear any questions or thoughts you have about this so
please leave me some comments in the comments section down below if you've been enjoying my
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be alerted every week when I post a new video so that's all for this video on stress um as always
thank you for making it all the way to the end of this video and I will see you in the next one