Whas crackin yall? This week we gettin CRAZY scurred with At the Mountains
of Madness by HP Lovecraft.
William Dyer bout to sh** a brick, man. Fool hear a bunch of scientists bouncing over to
Antarctica even though he told em they best not. And now Dyer gonna give us the low down
on the da crazy things he saw over there that left skid marks in his tighty whities.
A while back, Billy D led a crew called the Miskatonic University Expedition to a shady
part of cold- as-a-b*** Antarctica. A smaller gang led by his homie Lake go on ahead and
scope some tripped-out fossils hidden in a swoel mountain range. And these bad boys WAY
too old to be so evolved.
When Dyer and his posse don’t hear from Lake, they swang over to his spot to
see what’s what. Turns out, most of da hoods in Lake’s click DEAD! Not only dat, but
some of dem aliens fossils dun peaced out!
So Dyer and his boy Danforth get up on their G-Fo and flow over to the mountains
when they realize “hold up. These aint just mountains. These be walls hidin’ an ancient
alien city! Oh snap!” And since Dyer and Danforth got a hard-on for learning, they
drop down to check dem freaky streets.
Fools peep some ancient murals layin down the raw truth bout dem fossils,
which actually be called “Elder Things.” Back in the day, these Elder Things landed
their crusty asses on the planet, and created life on earth. To help em trick out da streets
they livin in, these cats create some G-ed up hustlaz called “Shoggoths,” who later
stopped takin orders and straight WRECKED them Elder playas. But things got even more
cray for the Elder Things, cuz the murals also jivin bout some EPIC GNARLY monster chillin
in the mountains past the city.
Later, when our boys crawlin through a dank tunnel they find in the city, a big fugly
Shoggoth gets all in their grills and our boys like “Oh sh**! BREAK YO SELF” And
bust ass outta there.
Back in the jet, Danforth looks down past the mountains and sees somethin
so damn cray that his mind immediately goes to s***.
Back home with both his nuts in tact, Dyer say, look son. Dem scientists best
check themselves befo deciding to go to Antarctica. Cuz them mountains ain’t hidin nothin but
madness. Naw mean?
One thing you gotz to know bout Lovecraft’s flow is dat he always slangin
MAD adjectives in his texts to create dat atmosphere of horror. Check it-
That’s double digit adjectives in one damn
sentence man! See, Lovecraft ain’t interested in just layin down the plot. Naw blood. Settin
the mood is way more important. After all, every playa know you gotta warm the oven before
you slide in the meat. LOVE CRAFT. Naw mean?
As scurry as things be, Lovecraft keeps rampin it UP. Erry time we meet some
scary-ass alien, ol HP drops an even creepier alien on our asses. Then eventually he start
jivin bout the ultimate badass beastie that makes all the other aliens shit their pants!
Relentless!
And the scariest thing bout the Elder Things, Shoggoths, and the ultimate
badass is that human knowledge can’t make a damn bit of sense of them. Check how Billy
D talk bout dem Shoggoths:
See man always tryin to categorize things in order to understand em, but there
are some things that ain’t no amount of reasoning can make sense of. And that’s
freaky as hell to think about man!
But despite dat, the scientists, the aliens, and even the reader,
don’t quit when they faced with da whack-ass unknown. Like a dope fiend, just a lil taste
of curiosity ain’t enough. Naw, the mo curious they get, the more they jonezin for a bigger
hit. And maybe that’s the scariest thing of all- we all gonna keep pushing forward
toward da unknown even when the consequences can mess sh** up FO REAL.
Curiosity might not have killed those cats, but it sho made one of em mad.
And if you’re curious bout my other shows, hit dat subscribe and be sure to check
em out. Catch you later. Peace.