I know right? You're dealing with the bully? It doesn't have to last. There
really are some very precise things you can do to change the game. No, I don't let
that bully keep doing what they're doing. Pay attention, go through this training
and you're going to know what to do next.
Okay. So, you got yourself a bully, right? Got a bully happening and really, you
could be of any age right now and have a bully. You could have a bully for a boss,
you could have a bully as a team member, you could have a bully at school, you could have
bully as a neighbor. Oh my goodness, bullies come from all over the place.
And what do you do? You know, how do you manage this? Because you try
to avoid it and try to get away from it. But it's like they're always there. I
mean, really. How can you make a change, so the whole situation just finally changes.
Really? Can you go on living like this? Having a bully messing with
you and you know, and get in your life and just doing what they're doing?
Okay. So, let's let's really look into this and about what's happening with
this whole experience of having a bully. And what you can do to change the game.
What you can do? It's not about winning the game, it's just changing the game, so
the bully doesn't have their influence like what they're doing right now. And
really. Why should somebody that have a negative influence like that, have some
control over us? Right? Now, notice I said us. Reason why I could talk about this
because I've had bullies. And I've had a bully in my life when I was growing up
in school. And argh, man. They just... Everyday, it's tormenting. You know, they
tease you, they push you around, they mock you in front of other people and they
sort of hurt you. They literally hurt you. One of my friends, the boys are coming
after me and I got away for him. I look back and they're beating up one of my
friends. I mean, and they gang tackled the person. I couldn't go back. I mean, there
was just too many of them. And I still to this day. I mean, I can't stand the fact
that I let those bullies get to my friend. So, the bully thing's real. And it
really... Again, it doesn't matter how old you are. But let's really look into this
of what's happening when there is a bully. Now, I got two circles up here. One
is the stick figure of the circle that has a bully name above it. And then a
stick figure with the circle that is smaller. That has "you" labeled to it. So, a
bully... Now, this circle right here, this circle represents
your amount of personal influence or your personal energy. And everybody has
personal space. Like literally, we can hold our hands out, flip our fingers up
and that is the common distance of our front personal space borders. And there
literally is a circle all the way around us called our personal space. And when
somebody comes into that space, we sense and feel it.
We also... Many times try to keep people out of our personal space. You know, if
you have teenagers and you've ever got close to your teenager, you probably hear
them say, "Hey, you're in my space." Or you walk in their bedroom or you know,
something like that. It's like, they will actually call out. You're in their
personal space. So, all of us have personal space. And that personal space
bubble. I'm just
going to call it. The bubble there, is influenced by how we think
about ourselves. And it's also the size of this bubble, is influenced about what
we perceive other people are thinking about us. So, there's 2 things that
influence this personal space bubble. So, if we think down about ourselves that
personal space gets smaller. If we think other people think down about us, that
also influences it to get smaller. So, a bully, what turns a person into a bully
is 1, hurt people, hurt people. Bullies have been hurt. They're scarred.
They've got challenges, they've got issues. And really, bullies... They're really...
They got problems. They got something wrong with them, somebody hurt them,
somebody did something to them and that's turned them into a bully. And the
only way they can find to help themselves feel better is to put
somebody else down. So, a bully will find somebody who is perceived as a smaller,
smaller energy force. And now that's an easy target for a bully. So, when I was
growing up, I was a chubby little kid. I was chubby and I was just kind of the
runt of the litter with all my friends. And I was an easy target.
So, they targeted me and they would push me around, make fun of me and I was
always the the laughing part of the joke, was all about Kirk. So,
A bully, he was trying to help himself feel better because of whatever happened to
them. So, hurt people, hurt other people. And they sense and feel, they just
noticed when somebody has a lower energy force about them. And it's an easy target.
So, as an easy target, then they start to pick on the person. And they pick on the
person, so that their energy goes down further and further and further. And once
their energy gets down to a certain point, then the bully feels better. And
then they go on their way feeling good about themselves because they picked on
somebody and put that person down, so that they could feel like they're up.
Because imagine, this is the bully and this is the other person or this is
me and this is the bully. So, the bully can find me and put me down. Now, they
feel like they're doing well or they're ahead. Since they can't get ahead, they've
got to put people down here. So, that they feel like they're doing better. It's
really twisted. Really, really twisted. So, to further explain this, this is your
energy source. You know, your personal space around you. Your personal space
changes. If you think negative about yourself,
it goes smaller. If you think good thoughts about yourself, it gets bigger.
So, remember that bullies are after those people who have a smaller personal space.
Smaller. And the way you think about yourself and the way you think other
people think about you makes that personal space go smaller. Which then
puts you in a position to get picked on by bullies. So, this is what you do this
is how you change the game, you change your personal space. You can change this
from being small to becoming bigger. And so, literally, what's going to happen is,
you're going to change this personal space around you to expand, so that your
personal space is that big. Now, when the bully perceives your personal space or
how you're doing as a person, they can't mess with you. They can't get to you. I
just recently heard a story last week. A dad was telling me about his
son who was dealing with the bully. So, what was happening is the bully was
messing with him on the bus on the way to school. So, the dad told his son, "Hey,
when the bully comes on the bus, invite the bully to sit next to you." Just as
soon as he walks on the bus, you be the first to invite the bully to sit right
next to you." And his son was like, "Dad, are you kidding? The kids beating up on me
every day at the bus." And he goes, "No, try it." Change the game. So, the son is super
nervous. He gets on the bus and he's like, "I can't believe my dad asked me to do
this. This is ridiculous. Why would I want the kid that's hurting me just sit next
to me?" But you see what the dad was really smart about was because the son
was now in a place of inviting the bully to come sit next to him. It was showing
that his son is not afraid of him. The son was now thinking, "I'm going to be the
one in control of what's going on." So, the bully comes on the bus and the
son... He was just shaking, just so nervous. And he even called out the bully's name
and said... I'm just going to pretend like... I'm not going to say a name. And you pretend...
Calls out his name and "Come sit with me." And he says that the bully stopped in the aisle on the bus
and looked at him, didn't know what to do. Because usually, his son, you know, is like
I'm not doing very good in school and I don't know if anybody really likes me,
I don't really have friends. And so, his energy was really small. His personal space was
really small. But now here he is going, "Hey, hey! Come sit with me, come here, come
here. Come sit, we got a spot saved for you." It changed the game. And now, the
bully walked up, looked at him and just was in a confused way, just kind of
bumped him on the shoulder and goes, "I'm not sitting by you."
And went sat in the back of the bus. Nothing happened that day on the bus. He
didn't get bullied that day. And he sat there just thinking, "Oh my gosh, oh my
gosh this is working! This is working!" So, at school, when he's walking down the
hall and he'd see the bully, he'd wave to him and go, "Hey, how you doing?" And here he is.
He now is acting confident to this bully. Gets mapping. Nothing. The bully did not
come after him. He changed the game. You, if you got a bully. Even if it's your
neighbor, your boss, your team member or you're going to school and you got a
bully in school, you got to change the game. You can't change them
but you can change yourself. So, this is what you do. I got a list for you.
This is what you do. And this is a big deal, big deal. So, the first thing
seriously. Start doing sit-ups. Do like five push-ups.
Do you like five sit-ups tonight before you go to bed. You're going to wake up and
your tummy's going to hurt a little bit. Or your shoulders are going to hurt a little
bit. But get a little bit more fit. You get a little bit more fit with sit-ups or
push-ups or get a jump rope. Jump rope for just like 60 seconds. Just start
doing something to change your physical being, your confidence is going to go up a
notch. And that's going to expand your personal space. You're working on
expanding this personal space. Every one of these will expand your personal space.
And you want to just open up that personal space as big as you can get it.
Because if you can get your personal space bigger than the bullies, what do
think... They can't do anything. They can't do anything because now you have
personal power with that personal space. So, get fit. Do some sit-ups do some
push-ups tonight. Then when you wake up in the morning, you turn on the music.
Really. Turn on the music. And while you're brushing your teeth, just do
yourself a little jiggy, you know, do a little dance or whatever. And when you're
going into the kitchen, do you know, dance with the music on the way into the
kitchen. Who cares if you know how to dance or not? But dance. Notice these
these first 2 have to do with you physically. It'll change the way you're
walking, the way you're moving. And you'll feel better. But you got to expand that
personal space or nothing's going to change. Number 3, positive declarations. I
want you to write 3 sentences that are good, solid, sentences. Something like
this, "I am confident and secure and I can communicate easily with others." The
second one could be, you know, "I can stand my ground and hold to who I am." The third
sentence could be, you know, "I have lots of friends
that are on my side and that are on my team." Those are 3 great declarations.
And if you were to write those declarations down and say those every
morning, you're going to totally engage your mind in expanding your
personal space. Now, next here is, upgrade your story
about the bully. You know, sometimes we look at bullies of like jerks, they're
mean, they're terrible, they're hurtful. And we're thinking all this negative
stuff about them. But when we think negative about people who are bullies,
what happens is, we don't... We paint them to be this evil creature of what's going
on. But if we could really take a look at this and change our point of view about
who they are. We can say, "You know what? bullies can change." Now, this person is
going to change. I'm going to influence this person to change their attitude." Every
person has an opportunity to change. But if you're not the kind of person who can
send that good story to them, you're going to be feeding the monster negative
thoughts. Don't feed the monster the negative thoughts. Don't do that. You
upgrade the story into a better story about what they're going to be like
after they change from being a bully. And then the last one and this is the big
one. The story you have about you. Now, the
declarations are short statements. But really, to build up your story about who
you are and how strong you are and how smart you are and how you're confident
and how other people are there to support you and care about you. You're
going to find yourself being able to manage the conversation and the interaction
with that bully. These five steps right here. You do one of them or you do
all of them, you know, what's going to happen. Your personal space is going to change.
And based upon the size of your personal space, is how people treat you. If your
personal space energy is down because you think yourself negative, you think
down about yourself, you're not going to be respected. It's going to be tough, it's
going to be difficult and you're going to get bullied. That's why we must take charge of
our life and do something about it. And really boost up our personal space. And
it's all good. It's all positive. It's all healthy. All you got to do is get it done.
So, jump on one of these five and make a change today. Alright, what else have
you done in your life to be able to get past this whole bully thing? I bet you
know somebody or something's happened. Be sure to comment down here below, share
your wisdom with all of us here that are being part of what's going on in this
anti-bully thing that's going on in the world. Share your comments down here below.
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