(lively music) (leaf picking)
(bell dinging)
- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers, welcome back
to another video.
Have you ever met a new classmate
who was so charismatic
that they were instantly likable?
Or encountered someone who drew everyone to them
with their magnetic presence?
While there are certainly some qualities
and character traits that can get you far in life,
like intelligence, integrity, determination
and perseverance, charisma is arguably one
of the most important
but most difficult to achieve.
Charisma is defined as a special quality some people possess
that allows them to relate to and inspire others
on a deep, emotional level.
And to a lot of us, charisma seems to be something elusive,
intangible and innate.
Charismatic people are natural-born leaders
who effortlessly command the attention of everyone
in the room.
They're very confident, charming,
inspiring and easy to be around.
That's nothing you can just fake.
Psychology, however, argues that charisma
isn't as intrinsic or predetermined as it might seem.
It's now thought that we can attribute,
build and cultivate charisma within ourselves over time.
So here are six tried and true ways
that you can be the most magnetic person in the room.
Number one, set a playful tone.
First impressions do matter.
While it's true that first impressions
aren't always accurate,
and the way you feel or perceive someone
can change over time.
First impressions do hold a much more meaningful
and lasting impact than you might realize.
If you want to be charismatic,
it's best to set a playful tone with people you first meet.
Come in with lots of energy
and get the ball rolling right away.
Don't make the mistake of letting your nerves show
by keeping your voice quiet
and making the gestures small.
Make a point to be more noticeable, outgoing,
friendly and warm.
Then you'll be surprised how much easier it'll be
to connect with people, make friends
and get them to like you once you do.
Number two, tell people some good stories.
Whether it's at a party or a presentation,
it's always good to have a few interesting stories
and funny anecdotes up your sleeve.
Making your audience laugh
will really captivate their attention.
And if you're able to move them
with your masterful storytelling,
then you'll have no problem attracting a flock
of people around you at every social gathering.
Be confident in your delivery.
Keep your story short and focused.
Tell it in the present tense
and use a lot of animated gestures.
Don't be afraid to pause for effect
and use a variety of voices
to make it more interesting.
Number three, think on your feet.
Aside from being confident and charismatic,
another quality that really draws people in
and makes you seem more fun to be around
is if you have a witty and quick-thinking sense of humor.
People who know how to think on their feet
are easily perceived as being more likable,
clever and alluring,
so stay sharp in your conversations with others.
You don't even need to be smart or explicitly funny
to pull this off.
All you really need to do is think fast
and act quickly every time you see an opening.
Be it for a tasteful joke or an interesting story.
Banter with people
to make them feel more engaged in your interactions too.
This will instantly make your conversations
seem much more lively and thoughtful than if you just react
and nod along to everything everyone else is saying.
Number four, say what you feel.
Charismatic people tend to be very open and honest
about their thoughts and feelings,
which is what makes them so easy to trust.
So if you're talking to someone you want to impress
or befriend, don't make the mistake of lying to them
or pretending to seem more agreeable or impressive.
Instead, say what you feel.
And this will make you seem more genuine
and easy to talk to
but of course, it's also important
to be mindful of the other person's feelings,
so be honest but polite
when you give your opinion on something.
And if you feel like you've stepped on a sensitive topic,
such as politics or religious beliefs,
then quickly but subtlety steer the conversation back
to a more neutral ground
with a dismissive joke or vague
but still truthful answer.
Number five, smile with your eyes.
In counseling psychology,
there is what is known as the SOFTEN technique
and it's something counselors and therapists alike use
to make people more comfortable in their presence.
It's all about using your body language
to your advantage
and it stands for smile, open posture,
forward lean, take notes, eye contact and nod.
Using any one of these nonverbal cues,
or better yet, all of them together,
will really make people feel more at ease
when talking to you,
especially if you smile with your eyes.
Smiling with your eyes not only prompts people
to smile at you in return
but it also makes you seem more genuine
and empathetic to others.
And number six, be a likable listener.
Finally, but perhaps most importantly,
being a likable listener is really key
to seeming more likable,
magnetic and charismatic to those around you.
People love talking about themselves,
so be sure to encourage that.
Make someone feel heard and valued
by asking them open-ended, talk-about-themselves questions
to elicit a more thoughtful response from them.
You can ask them things like why,
what does it mean?
What was it like?
This works especially well if you can find something
that the other person is passionate about
because it makes them excited to answer your questions
and wanna talk to you more.
So what about you?
Do you see yourself as someone magnetic and charismatic?
Or do you still think you might yet need
to cultivate these skills?
Let us know in the comments below.
As long as you remember these nifty tips and tricks,
your skillset should grow over time.
Using these tips is how you become the kind of person
that others wanna be around.
Please like and share this video if it helped you
and you think it could help someone else too.
The studies and references used are listed
in the description below.
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for more Psych2Go videos and thank you for watching.
We'll see you next time.