Yeah, this is your captain speaking.
Please remain seated until we reach the gate.
[DING]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Skymall?
Yeah.
Hey, buddy, can you do me a solid?
I'm just going to leave this right here.
Oh, that is a game changer.
You ever done goat yoga?
No, but that looks--
Oh!
Excuse me.
Elbows in, knees apart.
Elbows in.
[SCREAMING]
Excuse cart.
Watch out.
Get off the cart.
Is this a plane or a sauna?
Oh, my God.
[DING]
Are we flying through a cold front?
Ah.
Oh, yeah, my flight got canceled.
What's your name?
Ty.
It's just T-Y.
And your flight was--
Canceled.
Yeah.
Oh.
Is there one available?
No.
Tomorrow?
What was your name again?
Ty.
All right, I'm going to try somewhere else.
Thank you.
Think we should talk to the passengers?
Cool.
[DING]
Hi, everybody.
This is Captain Cody speaking.
We are now at our cruising altitude.
Where did my movie go?
Uh.
Uh, you are free to move about the cabin.
Excuse me.
We ever push this button before?
Uh oh.
Uh, we're about to hit some turbulence.
Passengers, we're about to execute a barrel roll.
[GASP]
Oh.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, sorry for the turbulence.
Remember, keep that seat belt on nice and tight.
[GRUNTING]
Ah.
[LAUGHS]
[GROWLS]
Usually I have to fight for these things.
Dude, are you staring at my daughter?
She started it.
Come on, man.
That's weird.
And the flame-charred vermin on a stick.
This is wild.
I don't know what to do with this.
Ma'am?
No, no.
No thank you.
That's not mine.
Maybe your husband.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Is this your bag?
Yes, sir.
We need to do a bag check.
OK.
Sir.
Oh, my.
Is this your axe?
No.
That may be somebody else's.
Is your name Tyler?
Yes, sir.
It says "Tyler's Axe" right there.
I'm going to jail, aren't I?
No, just make sure next time you fly,
make sure you keep the cap on.
OK.
You be safe and have a nice flight.
Thank you.
Next.
Sorry, I--
The belt. Don't walk back through it.
Spread 'em.
Spread 'em!
You got a box cutter in there?
Bingo.
Crest toothpaste.
Oh, toothpaste, huh?
Sure looks like an IED to me.
I'm over it.
Full body scan.
Come on.
Come on, dude.
We're sending him through.
Tray table's not locking.
Dude, what are you doing?
Just finishing up a birdhouse.
Why is he walking like that?
Something's wrong.
Oh, my gosh, turbulence.
What is happening?
Did you hear the pilot?
It's his first time flying.
[LAUGHS]
Are you sure that's OK for you to be taking that many pills?
These are just marshmallows.
[LAUGHS]
I feel bad for the people in the back.
I'm about to blow this thing up.
[DING]
Yes, sir.
That guy that just went back there.
Uh huh.
He said he's going to blow up the plane.
In a couple of minutes, the whole plane
is going to feel that one.
Ah!
Get him!
What do you have to say for yourself?
It was just a number two.
[RECORD SCRATCH]
There's two bombs!
Next.
Hi-de-ho, Martin Berger, Wampanoag, Minnesota.
Could I catch your name?
Do you have ID?
Martin Berger.
Told you.
I wasn't lying to you.
Says here you've been in close contact
with fruits, seeds, and soil.
You know, don't freak out or anything.
That can be our little secret.
No, there's no secrets at TSA.
Yeah, I'm going to have to confiscate this whole bag.
Let's do the next bag.
You're not keeping that one.
The last question, have you been around or seen any livestock?
You guys are so thorough with your questions,
it's unbelievable.
Yeah, I really--
Oh, wow.
I found this little livestock.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Actual livestock?
Get the pig out, sir.
OK.
You are going to be detained until a search warrant--
No, I'm not going to go.
No.
Sir, Martin!
Come on, empty row, empty row, empty row.
Good night, is that Goliath and his buddy?
I'm next to a little guy.
This is nice.
Yeah, I'm not that little.
I'm 5'9".
Yo, D, you got them oysters?
I'm hungry, man.
But I got crawfish if you want some.
Can you hear it?
Here's your ginger ale.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure everybody can hear it.
Thank you, ma'am.
Appreciate it.
Oh.
I think I'm good.
Thanks.
You want to sit in the middle so y'all can see?
Oh, no, no, no.
No, this is [INAUDIBLE].
This is perfect.
This is good.
This is good, man.
Can you hold her while I run to the restroom?
Oh, yeah, I'm great with kids.
It's OK.
[CRYING]
Please shut that window, dude.
It's the St Louis Arch.
I know.
Where are you flying to, Anaheim?
Yup.
Oh, wait, we're all flying to Anaheim.
We're all on the same plane.
Yeah.
So you a big hat guy?
What kind of head shape do you have?
Oh, you're bald.
I love flying so much.
This is going to be such a fun flight.
Yeah, I cannot wait.
Nice backpack.
Where is it from?
Nomatic.
Oh, my gosh, there are so many compartments in this.
Yeah.
Feel free to--
Wow.
Hi.
Where are you going?
Bathroom.
To the bathroom?
You mean to Anaheim?
[FARTING]
Oh, dude.
Oh!
There's kids on board.
Dude.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Everyone remain calm!
Oh.
[CHOKING] We're going to drop the oxygen masks.
That didn't reach the cockpit.
your stink!
It's a bodily function.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Well, the only good thing about a middle seat
is you get both armrests.
That's weird.
I always heard it was first come, first serve.
Hey, can you see the Grand Canyon out there?
Oh.
No, you can't see it.
Oh!
Hey, my bird is not bothering you, is it?
I mean, it's probably bothering that lady now.
Sorry, my snake just needed to stretch out.
He's in her seat.
Her neck is just long.
No, I, like, paid for this seat.
You're freaking out my emu right now.
I need you to calm down.
I'll give the attack sign so fast.
Does she bite?
Eddie.
Ah!
[DING]
Oh.
Where you guys headed?
We're on our honeymoon, me and Sugar Bear.
Oh, Sugar Boogie.
Y'all might want to buckle up.
No, we are.
No, I'm talking about for life.
Yeah, it looks like we're going to have
about a 30-minute delay.
That's fine.
These are fast.
Has it been 30 minutes.
We wish you a safe flight.
[DING]
Oh, by the way, I have night terrors,
so just don't wake me up.
What did you say?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
No!
Ah!
Stop!
Ah!
Oh, please, God.
Oh, that was a easy flight.
Tyler?
Yeah.
It said you were going to be here like, 15 minutes ago.
That's my bad.
Left lane.
Need the left lane.
Exit's on the left.
Left?
No, it's on the right.
No, exit--
Oh, you know what?
I was going to show you this water tower really quick.
I don't care about the water tower.
No, no, no, it's an investment I made for my family.
That looks like the worst water tower I've ever seen.
And the gates are closed.
OK, and I just missed my flight.
[INAUDIBLE]
[SCREAMING]
I never should have let you take me to the airport.
You're a horrible driver.
I can still get you to the airport.
Ah!
That's your strategy, a little hacksaw?
Ah!
You're kicking it?
Are you serious?
[LAUGHS]
No.
Dude, no way.
Take that, [INAUDIBLE].
Ah!
Dude, chill.
Ah!
[SOBBING] Wait.
It didn't even have water in it.
All right, we are in Dallas.
Dude, that was smooth, huh?
Dude, please don't do it.
It's my thing.
Don't clap.
Oh.
[CLAPPING]
All right!
Yeah!
MVP!
[BEEP]
Hey.
How's it going?
Martin Berger, Wampanoag, Minnesota.
[LAUGHS] I'm going to struggle, dude.
Martin Berger, Wampanoag, Minnesota.
What's your name?
[LAUGHS]
I can't.
Business class?
Are you typing that, or--
[LAUGHS]
OK, ready?
No.
No, I'm not.
[LAUGHS]
We ready to lock in that order?
Yeah, we're thinking we're both going to do the flamed moose.
Mm, yummy.
[LAUGHS]
[BEEP]
I think I just pooped myself.
[LAUGHS]
Claim the first one.
The last one was not me.
[INAUDIBLE]
[LAUGHS]
Thanks for watching, guys.
Special thanks to our friends at Nomatic
for sponsoring this video.
Check out the awesome giveaway we have going on with them
at Nomatic.com/DudePerfect.
We'll see you next time.
Pound it.
Noggin.
See ya.