Empty.
- What am I? Chopped liver? - No, that's what I am.
Ah! My pants!
Yoo-hoo, down here!
You get up here! I gotta get back to work!
Freedom!
Stop pants! You get back here this instant!
Hey, SpongeBob, over here. Come on, take a seat.
Put your feet up and relax.
You're not magic.
[screaming, panting]
Morning, Squidward.
It sure is weird around here.
Kind of different. Even the soil looks different.
Would you... mind... putting me down?
It's a nickel.
What were you doing in my belly button,
little fella?
I got stuck in there during your last coin shower.
I don't want to talk about it.
Do you have anything to say to me?
Yeah, when's the last time you brushed your teeth?
Oh! It worked. I can talk to money.
♪ Oh ♪
Please, don't start singing again.
Sorry, Squidward, I couldn't wait any longer.
I've got to use your toilet. No questions. Thanks.
[grunting]
[toilet flushing]
Whew.
I wouldn't go in there for a couple days.
Or weeks.
[coughing]
Please, please, somebody put me out of my misery.
[coughing]
Have mercy on my soul.
[groaning]
Because...
Well, don't just stand there, get on with it.
Ahh!
Alright, come on, get on with it.
Get it over with!
They're all staring.
[screaming]
[laughing]
It's a giraffe.
[laughing]
[trumpeting]
Time's up, SpuzzBob.
[gasping] Burny.
Only 799 words to go now.
[laughing]
No!
[screaming] What have I done?!
Help! Help! My house is on fire!
[screaming]
SpongeBob, why?
Why did you set me on fire, SpongeBob?
Why didn't you just write your essay?!
Stop wasting time!
Oh, well, I needed to lose a little weight anyway.
Oh, Hahns.
[music playing]
Whoo! Wahoo!
[laughing] This tickles.
I can smell again.
Whoo! Yeah! Yeah Whoo! Yeah!
I feel as good as new. I love the doctor.
Here's your lollipop.
[laughing]
By the powers of naughtiness,
I command this particular drop of hot sauce
to be really, really hot.
[gasping]
Are ya ready, kids?
Stop pants! You get back here this instant!
I can't hear you.
Aye aye, captain!
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo, tiki tiki ♪
Hey, fellas, look, it's Squidward.
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo, tiki tiki ♪
Hey, buddy, where ya been?
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo,tikitiki ♪
Hit it boys!
♪ Welcome (tiki,tiki) ♪
♪ To Squidward's Tiki Land ♪
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo,tikitiki ♪
♪ Welcome (tiki, tiki) ♪
♪ To Squidward's Tiki Land ♪
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo,tikitiki ♪
♪ You can relax all day Like a tiki can ♪
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo,tikitiki ♪
♪ Or lay out in the sun For a tiki tan ♪
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo,tikitiki ♪
♪ Or drink from a coconut That's full of flan ♪
♪ Here in Squidward's Tiki Land ♪
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo,tikitiki ♪
♪ You can play all day In a tiki band ♪
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo,tikitiki ♪
♪ And dance all night On the tiki strand ♪
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo,tikitiki ♪
♪ Don't matter to me cause Cause I'm crazy, man! ♪
♪ Here in Squidward's Tiki Land ♪
♪ Hoo, hah, hoo,tikitiki ♪
[sighing]
This is the life.
What's the matter, SpongeBob?
Oh, delicious dairy treat, I don't know what to do.
Patrick's your best friend. You can't let him down.
I know, but the ride is really scary.
You wanna see scary? I'll show you scary.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
You like that? Huh? You like that?
Just got an order from the boss.
Dump everything that isn't about fine dining.
- Everything? - Everything.
Come on, come on, come on.
[unintelligible] Jellies, jellies!
Let's go, let's go! Keep doing it!
Come on, let's get moving!
Hurry up! What do you think I'm paying you for?
You don't pay me. We don't even exist.
We're just a clever visual metaphor
used to personify the abstract concept of thought.
One more crack like that and you're out of here!
No, please! I have three kids!
You heard the man!
[indistinct chatter]
[toilet flushing]
[indistinct chatter]
Everybody's gone, even Sandy.
She'd rather hang out with Larry.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We blew it, pants.
What do you mean, we?
I'll draw me,
and when Squidward answers the door, it won't be me.
[Patrick laughing]
Aw, look at him. Ain't he a doll?
All he needs is a tie.
Ready for action.
[babbling]
[laughing]
Not so fast. That's not fighting.
Stand aside.
I'll show you how it's done.
No! It's dry clean only!
[groaning]
Avenge me. [groaning]
- Oh. - Earl.
Ollie?
[groaning]
[cracking]
- Oh. - Even more brutal.
♪ Figaro ♪
♪ Figaro, Figaro, Figaro Figaro, Figaro, Figaro ♪
♪ Figaro ♪
[coughing]
[groaning]
Don't feel bad.
He didn't use me yesterday, either.
Oh, yes, Dr. Patrick,
we have a special treatment for you.
[laughing]
Hey. Wait. Ouch! That hurts!
Wait! Hey, this doesn't seem right!
Hey, another jellyfish.
It's Squidward, silly.
[babbling]
It's kind of creepy looking when it moves.
Yeah, you're right, SpongeBob.
We can't let him go into town.
[babbling, screaming]
Poor Squidward.
[hissing]
Look who came to dinner.
Guess he didn't like nachos.
[sighing]
Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble!
Let's get this over with so I can go home
and play my clarinet.
No!
Ooo!
[babbling]
Whoa!
[gasping]
Hey, don't I get a say in this?
I'll see you later, SpongeBob.
Things are getting a little weird around here.
So long.
Happy Leif Ericsson Day.
♪ F is for friends Who do stuff together ♪
♪ U is for you and me ♪
Try it.
♪ N is for anywhere And anytime at all ♪
Down here in the deep blue sea
Magic conch shell, will I ever get married?
Maybe someday.
[giggling]
Hey, SpongeBob.
You've got to be kidding! That is just a stupid toy.
How can that possibly help us?
[gasping] Squidward,
we must never question the wisdom of the magic conch.
The club always takes its advice before we do anything.
The shell knows all.
Oh, magic conch shell,
what do we need to do to get out of the kelp forest?
Nothing.
The shell has spoken.
Nothing? We can't just sit here and do nothing.
SpongeBob?
Gary?
How dare you invade the sanctity of my dreams?
Gary, you can talk.
[sighing]
In dreams one is not tethered by earthly limitations.
What does that mean?
Come.
For ages, dreams have been thought of
as windows to another realm.
Let me not mar that perfect dream
by an auroral stain,
but so adjust my daily night that it may come again.
- Emily Dickinson wrote that. - Who?
And watch this, Mr. Krabs.
May I take your order?
Yeah, I'll have the Krusty special.
Thank you, sir. I will squeak when it's ready.
[crying]
Um. Hello. Miss?
[crying]
Oh, careful now. Careful. Your ink will run.
[giggling]
My, you're such a gentleman. [sniffles]
Heh. Yeah, well... so, um...
what's a nice denomination like you doin'...
on a bench like this?
My date was supposed to bring me to the bank...
but he stood me up! [sobbing]
What? Hey, if I met the scallywag that stood you up,
I'd knock him down.
Dooh!
My knight in shining exoskeleton!
The name's Krabs... Eugene Krabs. And yours?
Cashina. You're very sweet.
[welding]
Finished. SpongeBob, come in here.
[laughing]
Or should I say RobotBob SpongeChefPants?
I put the brain in the robot, you know.
You shouldn't have been a spoiled brat.
You see I always get what I want.
And I want you to make me a Krabby Patty.
[beeping]
Response: Why don't you ask me later?
What? What?!
Get welded.
Wait! I command you make me a Krabby Patty!
I don't wanna.
[screaming]
The official Krusty Krab Playset.
SpongeBob, I need 20 Krabby Patties
on the double, please.
Sure thing, Mr. Squidward, sir. 20 Krabby Patties coming up.
SpongeBob, what are you doing here?
You're gonna cost me some loot
if you don't get your square keister home!
Out, out, out until your vacation is over!
Oh, what to do on this boring vacation.
Hey, I know just the thing to get the old spirits up.
I need 20 Krabby Patties, please.
Sure thing, old buddy, ol' Squid.
20 Krabby Patties coming... [meowing]
[meowing tune of Blow the Man Down]
Will you clam up?!
[meowing tune of Blow the Man Down]
[banging]
[meowing tune of Blow the Man Down]
[screaming]
Run for your lives, everyone! It's the appetizer!
[screaming]
[roaring]
[screaming]