>>> SO WE ARE ALL AGREED THEN, WE MUST SEND MORE TROOPS TO
CRIMEA. GOOD.
OKAY. WHAT IS NEXT ON THE AGENDA?
>> PRESIDENT PUTIN, BEFORE WE MOVE ON, MAYBE YOU HEARD NEWS
OUT OF AMERICA? >> YES.
NORTH CAROLINA NOT IN FINAL FOUR OF MARCH MADNESS!
IT'S CRAZY! >> NO, MR. PRESIDENT, THE OTHER
STORY, THE MUELLER REPORT. AMERICAN NEWS SAY IT IS
FINISHED. >> AH, DA.
I HAVE HEARD OF THIS. OKAY, ENOUGH OF THIS.
WE HAVE MUCH TO COVER. >> JUST ONE MORE MOMENT, SIR,
BECAUSE IN MUELLER REPORT, THEY SAY PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS DONE NO
COLLUSION WITH RUSSIA. >> OH?
BUT THIS CANNOT BE, CAN IT, SIR? AMERICAN PRESIDENT HAS WORKED
FOR RUSSIA, RIGHT? >> PLEASE, MR. PRESIDENT, WE
MUST KNOW, DID TRUMP WORK FOR RUSSIA OR NOT?
>> NO -- >> COME ON!
>> HOW COULD THIS BE FOR TWO YEARS NOW?
EVERY AMERICAN NEWSPAPER AND TV COMEDIAN HAS SAID TRUMP WORKED
FOR RUSSIA, TRUMP IS RUSSIAN THIS IS LIKE OUR BEST MOVE EVER!
>> I LOOKED FORWARD TO REPORT SO MUCH.
IT WAS GOING TO BE MUELLER TIME, BABY.
ALL OF THE WORLD WOULD SEE THE POWER OF RUSSIA.
WE WERE SO EXCITED. >> I WAS PLANNING A PARTY.
>> I KNOW, I KNOW. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL.
BUT IS WHAT IS. NOW, PLEASE, LET US MOVE ON.
>> BUT MR. PRESIDENT, WHY DO YOU SAY TRUMP WORKS FOR ME?
>> NO, I NEVER SAY THIS. OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT AND I SAID
NYET. >> YEAH BUT YOU SAID IT LIKE
"NYEAH" >> WAIT! >> SO ALL OF THIS IS JUST CRAP
AND I THOUGHT IT WAS TRUE. IT SOUNDS LIKE KGB MOVIE.
>> IT SOUNDS LIKE BAD '80s MOVIE.
>> SOUNDS LIKE COOL '80s MOVIE TO ME BUT WHATEVER.
>> OH, I'M JUST REMEMBERING, I GO HOME FOR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION
IN VLADIVOSTOK LAST YEAR AND THEY ALL ASK ME, YOU WORK IN
KREMLIN, IS TRUMP REALLY BLACKMAILED BY PUTIN.
OH, I'M SO COCKY, I'M SAYING, THAT IS CLASSIFIED INTEL, LIKE
I'M BIG SHOT. NOW I LOOK LIKE A HOLE IN AN
IRON. THE WORST PART OF AN IRON!
>> BUT IF WE HAD NO BLACKMAIL WHY PRESIDENT TRUMP SAY SUCH
NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU? >> I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK HE JUST LIKES ME. >> BUT WHY?
YOU HATE AMERICA. ALL YOU EVER DO IS TRY TO
DESTROY THEIR COUNTRY! >> I KNOW.
I CAN'T FIGURE THIS GUY OUT. HE'S IN MY HEAD!
>> PRESIDENT PUTIN, CHAIRMAN KIM IS HERE TO SEE YOU.
>> OF COURSE. >> CHAIRMAN KIM, WELCOME.
>> Translator: OUR GLORIOUS LEADER WISHES TO GIVE YOU THIS
VALUABLE GIFT. MICHAEL JORDAN ROOKIE CARD
SIGNED BY DENNIS RODMAN. >> OH, THANK YOU.
>> Translator: BUT GLORIOUS LEADER IS UPSET TO LEARN THAT
PRESIDENT TRUMP IS NOT WORKING FOR YOU.
>> DO NOT WORRY, RUSSIA STILL HAVE MUCH INFLUENCE OVER
AMERICA. WE HAVE INTERNET TROLLS, MANY
OTHER THINGS. >> Translator: OUR GLORIOUS
LEADER SAYS VERY IMPRESSIVE, BUT IN A SARCASTIC WAY.
>> ALSO, WE DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING IN THE REPORT YET.
PLUS, MUELLER HANDED OFF A LOT OF STUFF TO THE SOUTHERN
DISTRICT OF NEW YORK. THAT'S WHERE THE REAL ACTION IS.
>> Translator: GLORIOUS LEADER SAID YOU SOUND LIKE RACHEL
MADDOW RIGHT NOW. HE'S NOW QUESTIONING EVERYTHING.
LIKE DID YOU REALLY POISON THOSE PEOPLE IN ENGLAND?
>> YES, OF COURSE I POISONED THEM!
>> Translator: GLORIOUS LEADER WONDERS IF YOU ALSO POISONED
THAT GUY WHO TURNED BLUE? >> YES, I POISONED HIM TOO.
GIVE ME SOME CREDIT. I TURN A LOT OF PEOPLE BLUE!
I DO WHAT MOST PEOPLE THINK. I'M STILL A POWERFUL GUY, EVEN
IF TRUP DOESN'T WORK FOR ME. >> WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I DON'T
KNOW IF I CAN TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY ANYMORE.
>> OH, NO? WELL, HOW ABOUT I POISON YOUR
FAMILY, PUT YOU IN DOG CAGE, DRIVE YOU TO SIBERIA AND BEAT TO
YOU DEATH WITH A METAL PIPE. >> Translator: GLORIOUS LEADER
SAYS THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE PUTIN HE KNOWS AND LOVES!
>> THAT'S RIGHT. I'M BACK, BABY!