Well, hello, ladies and gentlemen and everyone watching I'm your host TheReportOfTheWeek!
Well to get right into it, this video is going to make you scratch your head!
It's gonna make you think things that you've probably never thought before.
Yeah, you might even question the meaning of life once or twice just for the heck of it.
But nonetheless this is gonna be a journey. This is gonna be a long and winding road with its ups and downs,
its twists and turns - the positives and the negatives -
the joyous and the terrifying...
because I'm gonna read a couple comments that are left on the channel and
maybe try to make sense of a few of them. Everyday though I do get many comments left on my videos and and
material and
obviously some of them are positive some are negative.
Some are just very weird and I'm just gonna be making my way through the latest a batch of them
that's that's been shipped in and
We'll see what we get!
So... Let's load it up and let's see what we got.
Alright.
Let's get right to it. Starting off with this lovely one. This one asks a question and then leaves a statement.
So going with the philosophical theme of the video. This is already gonna start you...
It's gonna start to make you question things.
Why the oversized suits?
Somebody ought to put you in a coffin you look dead.
Now this is this is interesting because this takes on a lot of turns right there. First that starts off with an air of
inquisitiveness, "Why the oversized suits?"
Well, why does he wear what he wears and then maybe at that frustration?
You know over a lack of an answer. He can't he can't figure it out. It turns to anger!
He's starting to get upset...
"Somebody ought to put you in a coffin!"
And then finally, it's bubbling over at this point, "You look dead!"
You can just see the emotion in that! Just that raw energy! That build up! When you really analyze this?
It's already getting intense people. That's all that I can tell you there. And if you thought that was crazy?
This one's gonna blow your mind because it's blown mine and I haven't been able to make anything of this for days!
Yeah, I don't even know where I am anymore after this one. It's a four-point
statement: "Number one wake up in coffin."
"Number two wake up through coffein"
"Number three suck some victim's blood you met at your local Pizza Hut. Number four order food through McDonald's
cause the Sun is outside." Okay?
Alright. Well number one. Wake up in the coffin. Oh, I do that every day. That's all right. Number two wake up through "coffein".
All right, that makes sense. It can't you can't do anything without that "coffein"?
Number three, it's that's rather particular. Uhh, your local Pizza Hut?
Why not a Domino's or
Papa John's or Little Caesars?
Just what about your local mom-and-pop shop? I guess forget about all of them?
It's all about Pizza Hut these days I suppose. So Pizza Hut it is.
Number three and four though they kind of
conflict with each other. So I guess the local Pizza Hut it was dark outside?
And did I I was at a Pizza Hut I guess? If this is about me? I don't know.
Maybe this is just what this guy does.
So, I guess I went to the Pizza Hut but I didn't even get anything to eat
I guess I guess I guess the way this is and then somehow I got the food through McDonald's because the Sun is outside?
The Sun is always outside! And I guess the Sun was out!
But how did I get it through McDonald's? If there's a place that was more likely to deliver...
It would be Pizza Hut. I don't I don't think McDonald's delivers food like unless you used a third party service or app.
I told you that was gonna blow your mind! It blew mine. I still can't make anything of it. I swear.
And if there's one thing that even goes one step further than that, then wait until you see this one!
"My mom and I died while watching this you are a comedian"
Now when I first saw that I thought, "Well, alright, you know, that's just a kind comment. You know, I guess they enjoyed the video."
But then I started realizing how morbid that was!
So this person, and their mother too, both died while they were watching my video? And...
Then I really started thinking about it and just started thinking with all the possibilities.
So
If they died,
Then how did the comment get typed and sent?
You know?
Was there a third person in the room with them that after they died
this person typed it up on their behalf and sent it? Or did they die and
They were resuscitated and then they typed the comment?
Or did they die and maybe they came back as like a zombie or something and then one of them typed it?
They're what?? You know, that one that one just it leaves more questions than there are answers!
That's all that I can tell you there.
I was talking to you earlier about how this video was gonna be filled of twists and turns and this is the epitome of it.
This was left on my
Szechuan sauce
review from months ago.
"Can someone smack the crap out of this kid for me? He called the Szechuan sauce new
It has been out before so therefore it is not new
They have used the same recipe and the same ingredients to make the sauce as they did before therefore
It does not clarify as a new sauce. But as the same old sauce brought back. Thank you, Rick and Morty. Hell, yeah"
That is a series of twists and turns right there!
Even ups and downs included just just for the heck of it because that's intense. It starts out with someone
wishing physical harm against me, you know, "can someone smack the crap out of this kid?"
Then it gets into a very articulate explanation and then
through this analysis that
that mode, you know, when initially, you're reading this... You don't know how to process it!
You see this wall of text. First thing you see is "smack the crap out of..." Alright!? What do I do?
Am I gonna... Do I have to call 911? Do I have to lock my doors? How do I proceed from this point?
Then you start reading that analysis, and he's leading you on! You're seeing these lines of text.
You don't know what's coming next! And then all of a sudden... that worry, that
fear, that...that shock,
consternation, and horror...
Turns to a gleeful smile!
"Rick and Morty"
"Yeah!"
That guy knows how to write I'll tell you that!!
This guy, he's been he's been a longtime viewer.
So I give him credit for sticking around for a while.
But it's interesting his comments have gotten more and more negative over the years. "This guy is always hating on Taco Bell
No doubt. This vid is another paid hit piece don't even have to watch to know it will be negative. Get a life, sir"
The funny thing with that though is what he has to realize... Number one, you know,
I would almost say I wish it was a paid hit piece because I need to keep my radio broadcast on the air!
So, yeah I'll take what I can get. Though I, I really wouldn't go down that low, but it's not a paid hit piece.
It's just a bad product. And secondly, keep in mind,
I've given Taco Bell shining, shining reviews when they release something good. For instance,
Right when they release and then re-released the nacho fries.
I mean those things are amazing and I think I gave that some of the highest ratings I've ever given for a fast-food product.
So while Tao Bell, quality wise,
Isn't the best and it has left me disappointed
lately not everything that comes out of my mouth about Taco Bell is gonna be a
negative thing! And I always try to leave my reviews with a little bit of optimism too.
That, you know what? They missed the mark this time, but you never know what the future holds?
Some people like to hypothesize where I came from - what what the origins of my
physical being
happened to be. And some people, you'll see it in the comments all the time, when people will say well....
He looks like this. Or
He looks like that! You know, he came from
You need to look like, you know this celebrity or this public figure, you know, you get that all the time!
Well, this guy hit the nail on the head! "When Snoop Dogg tobey maguire
Sheldon Cooper the guy from Lazytown and that kid from Stand By Me have a love child"
Alight. Well, I have Snoop Dogg believe it or not. Yes.
People have said that! Tobey Maguire, get that all the time! Sheldon Cooper, guy from Lazy... The kid from Stand By Me though?
That's the only one that kind of... which one? You know?
If I'm correct with this, Stand By Me, there were a number of kids! So...
So which one? So you just...I need some clarification from you on that one!
But if you can get back to me?! Because I think this guy is on to big things!
So I'm really looking forward to some additional response and then we can make something out of it
And then entering the animal kingdom of course last year
There were all of the allegations that I look like an albino rat and I thought that was as good as it gets!
But I found a few that I think are even more...
Just gracious compliments and this individual writes.,"He looks like an iguana".
I can see some...
I can see a little resemblance there. All right, that's fair enough. That's a fair one. But this one was even better!
"You look like a fig tree a
very distinguished fig tree"
Let me get a picture.
Yeah, I see what he means! You see with the bow tie there! That was good! That one's good. Thank you, thank you sir!
Here's another one. So get ready. Brace yourself!
Alright. This is the obligatory just strap yourself in right now cuz this is gonna hit you hard -
hard and fast!
"There's something disgusting about watching this meek little boy
wrap his pale white trimmed fingers around the meat patty
He shouldn't be eating meat if he was in the food chain and had to hunt he couldn't do it
This is unnatural. It defies all of Darwin's theories
This spaghetti boy should be dead/grazing"
Well, I guess I am grazing theoretically so you're right. All right. Fair enough. Credit is given where credit is due!
"This is what a serial killer acts like and talks
like I can easily see him make a video of him talking like he's a professor
talking like he's a professor, but he says he acts and talks like a serial killer"
So are professors serial killers? Well, who knows? Maybe there's a connection. I don't know what he's getting at. But anyway...
"Talking like he's a professor and then the camera zooms in on him while he makes tacos out of some poor Schmucks face
Seriously"
Why tacos though?
No, I understand. Sometimes we get you know, we get hungry for tacos.
You know, you want to you want to get a taco right? I get that, you know, I like getting tacos.
I'd like that Mexican American cuisine. That's fine
But you know what if like on that that that day hypothetically I wanted burgers or I wanted a pizza?
What if I wanted a salad or something? I guess you would just say making a salad
out of the poor
Individuals face? I guess it just happened to be tacos that day. So I guess we can't think any further into it.
Oh, here's a classic one, " Cut your bleep and nails you gross bleep
bleep!"
That is with an exclamation point after it. "This is a food review have some bleeping self-respect
bleepin pig!" And that was another explanation point like
exclamation point not explanation point
Self-respect?
Yup, because your comment says all about self-respect right there!
So I'm sure you're the kind of person that has the self-respect to tell others what
self-respect really is.
Especially with your user name which, for the sake of dignity and what not, I censored out, but a very classy one at that.
"Looks like your fingernails can rip off people's souls"
That's a new one! Ripoff people's souls?
Well, I understand like if they said like, you know you it looks like your fingernails could
ripoff
someone's
Pencil you know?
Or I can understand that right that that makes sense. You can visualize it!
But rip off someone's soul? You know, how is that done
exactly? And then and then what confuses me more with this one is the words rip off. So like would I physically
somehow assuming that someone's soul could be ripped off, would I physically be you know?
Like ripping someone's soul off?
Or would like the energy be sucked out of them and
entered into my fingernails? Or does he mean rip-off in the economic sense?
Like, you know, you got ripped off the other day because you got overcharged at the store?
So I just need further clarification on that one again!
It's just some of these comments leave that ambiguity to it that, perhaps it's intentional,
but I just try to make the most of them and
analyze them to the best of my ability and this one just leaves me perplexed.
Now lately there has been a disturbing trend in the comment section.
I've been seeing more and more comments talking about the possibility of me being a time traveler.
"Y'all can believe whatever you want, but he's really a time traveler." "I think he's a time traveler"
You're a time traveler from the 50s. You're not foolin anyone!" "Are you a time traveler from the
1960s come to review future food?" "Looking at you with their hair down brought me back to the 90's. Reviewbrah is a time
traveler." "Are you a time traveler from the 40 inches?"
"I feel like this guy is a time traveler. He looks like someone from my history textbook. Illuminati confirmed!"
"Obviously a time traveler by the looks of his fashion and then smiling emoticon"
"How can we be sure this gent isn't a time traveler someone needs to investigate
because I'm fully convinced." "The style of a 120 year old.
The voice and soul of an 80 year old. The face of a 12 year old.
This kid has me convinced to completely believe the conspiracy theories about time travelers. I am in awe"
"This man is a wanted time trave..." Okay, forget that one!
"First vid and this guy is definitely an alien time traveler or a time-traveling alien."
"I love this guy and I'm surprised nobody has asked him if he's a time traveler LOOOL"
Yeah, that makes two of us honestly because you would think by the way that I sometimes appear,
you know, the way I like to dress formally,
style myself, and just the way that I talk...
You'd think that a lot of people would have made that comparison by now, but I guess it's just one of those things
that's never really caught on! And sometimes like when you see something and you think, "I can't believe that people haven't
said this or said that. I made that comparison!"
You know, it's just one of those things...who knows? It's just it's just one of those mysteries of the universe!
I told you you'd be questioning the meaning of life in this video and that's one of those times.
You know, I'm
Before now all the other ones, you know, it's fun and games, right? You know, it's it's it's
For jokes, you know, I know some of the comments can be, you know, a little nasty or whatnot
but we try to make the most of them, but you know sometimes you
know it crosses a line, you know what I mean?
And this guy says, "Also
stop shaving your arms"
He went too far with that one! He went too far! As a result I'm gonna have to prove a point.
Guess what? I don't even shave my arms!
Put him in his place. Showed him who's boss right there. "Stop shaving your arms." I don't even shave them to begin with.
So take that!!
And speaking of that I don't really have any other point to conclude the video with.
There we go. So we've responded to some random
Miscellaneous comments really at this point. I hope you enjoyed the video!
I hope you got something out of it.
Whether you kind of took the same philosophical route that I took and we're just you know
just started analyzing and really just questioning
existence through some of these insightful comments that were left on my channel or what transpired of it. I hope you enjoyed the video.
I hope you
Hope you liked what you saw. I try to do these react videos every so often so there will be more to follow.
Again, hope you enjoyed it!
And if you have the opportunity
Please check out the newest VORW radio show!
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Put as much work into as I do each and every one of these videos it's a radio show
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It costs a lot to keep it going,
so please, your support is welcome! If you're a listener support it at Patreon patreon.com/thereportoftheweek
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I'm your host TheReportOfTheWeek!