Parents of reddit, what are your "I looked away for ONE second" stories?
I was round at my buddy's place, he had kids about 7 and 5.
Both super nice kids, nice family.
We were sitting in the garden with a beer.
The eldest had a foam-covered baseball bat that he'd been hitting foam balls with.
Out of nowhere, he calmly walks up behind his dad and takes a full home-run swing at his head.
beep clobbers him.
This bat is coated in foam but it's still wood beneath it, so it's basically mid-level assault, maybe attempted murder.
Dazed, the dad turns round to defend himself, at which point the 5-year old sees his opportunity and grabs the beer from the table and starts chugging it.
Not just drinking it, full on frat boy chugging it out of nowhere.
In the three seconds it takes me to recover from the shock and reach across the table to stop him, the kid's drank about 2/3rds of the bottle.
Not much for an adult, but a beep skinful for a kid weighing about 1 stone.
​
Within about 3 seconds, we went from nice family BBQ to concussed adult, domestically abused by a psychopathic 7 year old, and a wasted 5 year old.
Went real dark real quick.
I had made lunch for my daughter who was only about two years old.
It was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
I handed it to her and realized I left her drink on the counter.
I turned and grabbed the drink and when I went to hand it to her she was gone.
So was the sandwich.
I go to the living room and she was stuffing it into the V.C.R..
I asked her why and she said it was hungry.
Poor V.C.R.
never did work right after that.
I had taken my four year daughter into a public toilet in France, which was next to a main road.
As we left, I let go of her hand for a split second as I looked away to close the door behind us.
When I looked back she was running into the main road as she'd seen her Mum on the other side.
From where I stood, my view of the road was obstructed so I couldn't see if any cars were coming, and she had gone too far for me to catch her.
By a complete miracle, she got safely over the road.
It sends shivers down my spine remembering the helpless terror I felt when I saw her in the middle of the road.
So we took the kids (7, 3, 3 and 3) to a water park.
One of us would stay in the kiddie area with 2 of the triplets and the other parent would take one of the 3 year olds and the 7 year old on a ride.
It was working pretty well.
Note, the kiddie area was mostly contained, but there was no gate or anything.
At one of the swaps, we blinked for a second and our adventurous 3 year old was gone.
Instant oh beep panic.
Get security there, staff is looking, I'm running around looking.
Anyway, we eventually found him.
He had ridden a waterslide
with my wife earlier, and decided "That was fun, I'm gonna do it again" The 3 year old had gone back to get in line for the waterslide by himself, and they found him about 2 from the front of the line.
I had been drinking scotch one evening while doing dishes.
So I'm standing at the sink.
I hear my 3 year old stumble into the room, pull a chair out from the table and climb up.
I'm not thinking anything of this until I hear a small voice say "Juice!"
as I turn to watch him dump about 1/2oz of single malt into his mouth.
This was immediately followed by a gasp, then he turned bright white, then bright red.
He went to bed early that night.
We moved into our new house on Halloween in 2001.
Most of the heavy lifting was done, so the wife decided to begin unpacking the important stuff and I would take our 8 year old daughter out trick or treating.
We stepped outside and I realized I left my phone.
Standing on the front porch I tell her..."Don't move, I have to get my phone.
I'll be right back.
Do not move."
Narrator: She moved.
New neighborhood.
Kids and parents everywhere.
I'm running up and down the street frantically and after about 15 minutes
later I spot a family, mom and dad and a handful of rugrats...with mine in tow.
They had a good laugh telling me they just turned around and there she was, having appeared out of nowhere.
Decided to stay close assuming some hysterical parent would eventually come running.
Edited to thank the kind awarding folks!
When I was a kid my mom was watching me play while hanging laundry.
When she turned to hang a garment I discovered a “bouncy spot” in the grass and fell down a 100ish year old abandoned well.
She said that day took years off her life.
Edit: So much Reddit attention.
I’m blushing and my hands are sweaty.
I have social anxiety and now I feel like everyone is LOOKING AT ME.
I’m trying to answer everything I can!
I swear babies that can't even flip over yet can teleport short distances when no one is observing them.
You put that thing down in one spot, turn your back on it for *one second* and then it's moved a few feet away.
They can do this because they don't understand how it's impossible.
When babies learn enough about physics and object permanence to be able to move and navigate they lose the ability to teleport, because then they know enough to figure out it can't be done.
When my daughter was little, probably about 3, she went with me to shop for some tools.
I turned away to look at something and heard behind me "Daddy, what's this?"
"Uh, honey, that's an axe.
Please give it to me."
She did, and all was well, but I'm glad my wife wasn't there--she would have panicked.
My toddler at the time grabbed a stick of butter out of the fridge and tossed it into the fish tank.
Minutes later all the fish were floating dead in the fish tank.
Last time we owned fish
I was the child in question, two years old at the time.
We were at the beach, where about two feet into the sea there's a shelf where it suddenly gets twice as deep.
My parents were distracted by my brother, so didn't notice me wander into the surf.
When they next looked up, all the could see was my hat away floating on the water.
Panic set in, and my dad sprinted into the sea.
Discovered that I was still wearing the hat, and was somehow floating completely vertical with just the hat showing above the water.
Edit: Turns out this is not that uncommon!
Remember, when you're near a body of water, *never* stop watching the kids.
My daughter was 18 months old.
Standing in between my husband and me in the kitchen, arm distance from both of us.
She slipped, fell and broke two front teeth.
Went to the toilet, leaving the newborn asleep on a blanket on the floor (on top of a large fluffy carpet).
3 year old was watching tv nearby.
Came back to find baby literally rolled up in carpet like a dead body, 3 year old sitting on top, with a cushion under him too.
Still don’t know how he did it at all let alone so quickly, and how the baby was totally chilled and unharmed.
Not me but my wife.
Our two younger kids are 14 months apart.
When our daughter was around 3 and our son was 2, my wife went into the garage to grab a frozen pizza out of the deep freezer and one of the kids, not sure which one, shut the door and locked my wife in the garage.
She was banging on the door and could hear the little boogers in there laughing at her.
My wife was not amused, she got a flathead screwdriver from my toolbox and manage to unlock the door.
This all took 15 minutes or so, when she got in the house they were in their room watching cartoons and eating cookies they manage to steal.
They would’ve left her out there all night.
Its funny now 10 years
later but my wife was scared beep We have kept a spare key hidden in the garage ever since.
I'm not the parent in this scenario, but I'll share the story anyway.
I was in college, and had a club meeting.
Some of the people involved were non-traditional students with a toddler, and they had the kid there at the time.
OK, no big deal, he was pretty much entertaining himself.
The parents were trying to pay attention to what was going on, much like the rest of us, when this one guy jumps out of his chair with a yell and grabs the kid.
Turns out the kid had been playing with his dad's keys and was headed for the electrical outlet with them.
I glanced at the salt, and toddler daughter grabbed a whole new potato off my plate and shoved it in her mouth.
She then tried to swallow it and choked.
Longest 15 seconds on my life getting it out of her.
Learn child first aid people!
They are suicide machines as toddlers.
*edit - thanks for the awards kind strangers!
I was making dinner for my twin 18mo when boy twin starts to fuss, so I carefully put the knife about a foot away from the edge of the counter.
I intentionally put it away from the edge because my girl twin is NOT to be trusted.
I go change my boy and turn around and my girl is casually holding my large, sharp chopping knife.
I had to get it from her like a hostage negotiator so she wouldn’t run away with it.
I couldn’t figure out how she got it so I looked at the video and as soon as my back was turned she was grabbing the cutting board to pull the knife closer and then immediately skipped over the carrots and peeler to grab the knife.
I was clearly correct in not trusting that feral child
My sister baked some cookies to share at work, and when her 3 year old daughter seen them on the plate on the counter she asked for one.
Instead of explaining she wasn’t allowed to have one, my sister lied and said they were “yucky”, implying it was a bad batch.
My sister, confident that her lie was successful turned her back to finish cleaning up.
She heard the plate being removed from the counter and turned around just in time to see all the cookies slide off the plate into the garbage.
Her daughter smiled and just said “yucky”.
Went to pee , put my kiddos in there room with the door open and the gate up.
I also had the bathroom door open...come out to find a dozen eggs cracked on the kitchen floor and into the butter and my youngest covered in peanut butter naked.
My now ex husband was sleeping...I walked into our room woke him up and tagged out..my brain was fried at that point.
To this day I have no clue how they escaped, they are 16&18 now.
Woke up once and my two sons had climbed out of a window onto a flat roof.
They were 1 and 3.
I still don't know how they even got the window open.
Husband reading a sign about watching your children on the trail at Gooseberry Falls in MN.
Looks up to see middle child heading to the edge of trail.
People fall every year.
Some die.
I was further down the trail with the youngest.
He kept a firm grip on her for the rest of the walk.
Sorry to drop a tragic story, but here goes.
It wasn’t me, but someone who worked right across the hall from.
They had a bed at window height.
Young baby was on the bed and the window was open.
He turned away for a second to address his other kid.
Baby is missing.
Baby fell 2 or 3 stories out the window and died in impact.
Needless to say the dad took quite a bit of time off worm after that and wasn’t the same after.
I didn’t even know how to talk to him anymore, it that we were ever closer, but it’s always at the forefront of your mind even when making small talk
Obligatory not a parent: I was watching my sister's kids and told them we would grill for dinner and have pie.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and the pie was ALL OVER the living room.
When I asked them what happened, they told me it was daylight savings time, so dinner was now.
I couldn't help but laugh.
Edit: pack to back.
Don't type before coffee, kids.
My year-18 month old son was playing with his toy trains.
I turned on my computer to play my new game diablo.
While it was loading my son came up to me with what looked like chocolate on his hands.
I said to myself where did he get chocolate and sniffed it.
It wasn’t chocolate.
I turned around to see the most horrible site of poop smeared over everything.
It was a beep storm, Randy.
The floors were the worst.
We lived in an old farm house and the cracks between floorboards were like a centimeter wide and poop was pressed deep into them.
I had to use a toothpick to scrape it out.
I learned a lesson that day.
Not a parent but the kid in the story.
I have 2 younger sisters.
They are twins and only 12 months younger than me.
When I was 3 and they were 2, me and sis 1 put sis 2 in the washing machine while my mom went for a pee.
She came back right in time because we were already playing with the buttons.
Not my kid, but about 20 minutes ago a toddler just kinda... wandered into my apartment.
I had the door unlocked so maintenance could come in and out while working on something.
My daughter and I heard the TV go on and sure enough some little blonde girl with cute pigtails is just plopped down watching cartoons.
Lol.
Her parents were probably beep bricks.
I was sitting in a high chair, climbed out of it, onto the counter, and stole my mother’s coffee.
All she did was to put her shoes at the door, 3 feet away
I was the kid in this situation, but when I was about 3, (16 now) my mom was helping me out of the shower and she turned around to grab a towel, turned back mere seconds later, and I was standing in the same spot but my face was covered in blood.
I somehow managed to fall onto the rail for the sliding door and shoot back up to my feet instantly.
I passed out shortly after and went to the E.R.
17 stitches in my forehead, major concussion.
I was lucky to survive tbh
I work from home.
My son is usually with me while I work in the evening.
One night I take a call, he was sitting on the floor next to me playing with his cars (he's three).
The next minute, I look over and watching him as he is flying through the air next to me.
He had climbed up on our table and just launched himself off!
I always mute myself when I'm not speaking when he's home so thank god the customer didn't hear my OH MY GOD as i caught him lol
My son was 3.
We were leaving Target.
He left my sight as I was adjusting my bags.
Maybe two seconds, tops.
Poof.
He was gone.
I try to act cool , but my true crime podcast obsession got the best of me.
The store locks down.
We are all looking for him.
People are checking cars outside.
I’m calling my son’s name louder than any intercom system.
We were just about to call police.
And then my toddler slides out of the cart area and acts like,”’Sup?” He decided it would be a most excellent idea to shimmy underneath the carts and sit there as the world turns inside out searching for him.
I hugged him and yelled at him for a good 10 minutes, ugly sobbing.
100/100 grateful for my Target folks.
We catered lunch for them as a huge thank you and sorry my kid is an a-hole.
Left my son at the kitchen counter while preparing pancakes.
One minute he’s there, the next thing I know he’s successfully empties the syrup bottle All.
Over.
The.
Couch.
I mean puddles of syrup in our cushions and pillows.
First time as a parent I remember calling my mom crying because I was at such a loss for how to clean it all up.
my little cousin died drowning in a pool, it was too late when someone noticed
She found some glitter
\*reads thread\*
\*snorts birth control\*
May your day be filled with joy and happiness.
And please remember to like, share, and subscribe for more quality content everyday.