(Sloth noises)
Sometimes it nice to just kick back
and take it slow.
Really slow.
So what if evolution had the same mindset,
and decided to take its time
before getting rid
of some prehistoric creatures?
What if the giant sloth was still around?
Giant sloths are a lot like
their modern-day descendants.
They’re slow,
harmless,
and well,
adorable.
The key difference was that they were bigger.
And I mean
a lot bigger.
The largest of these tardy titans
would have reached up to
7 m tall (23 ft)
and weighed in at over 6,300 kg (7 tons).
Giants sloths evolved in South America
about 35 million years ago.
And thanks to several specimens
we’ve found in good condition,
we have a pretty good idea
of how they lived their lives.
That is, until 11,000 years ago,
when they went extinct during the Ice Age.
But what if that wasn’t the story?
What if they stuck around?
Well, if they were still alive,
they would live in forests
or bushy areas found
in North and South America.
Those forests would be their vegan buffet.
Giant sloths were herbivores
that could stand-up on their hind legs
to grasp tree branches with their thick claws
and snack on leaves.
Some of them even had tongues
similar to giraffes',
and could use them to reach extra tasty leaves.
Delicious.
It’s a pretty good skill to have,
because these gentle giants
would need to eat
about 60,000 calories per day.
That’s as much
as an African elephant’s daily meal plan.
So, it sounds like even in the 21st century,
giant sloths would have
a pretty relaxed lifestyle.
But what would it be like for us?
Well, knowing humans,
we’d probably give them a job
and use them for labor.
The giant sloths
might be used as transportation,
at least until we realized that idea sucks.
Hope you’re not in a hurry.
Some of the giant sloths
were the size of an ox,
so they might be able to help us out on farms.
By using the old
“carrot dangling in front of their face” trick,
we could have them plowing fields.
But is anyone really going to invest
in a work sloth?
I mean,
they’re not really known
for their speedy work ethic.
There’s got to be something else they can do.
Well, turns out their biggest contribution was
avocados.
Yeah, avocados.
People love avocados,
but the giant sloth really loved avocados.
They would eat about
200 avocados per day.
It’s estimated that
if 80,000 giant sloths roamed the Earth,
they would eat as many avocados each year
as are consumed in the entire the United States.
I hear what you're saying.
How is eating so many avocados
a contribution?
Well, get this.
Have you ever heard of Kopi luwak?
It’s the most expensive coffee in the world.
Kopi luwak is made
when civet cats eat coffee beans,
allowing their internal enzymes
to seep into beans,
creating more amino acids,
and shortening the peptides.
This changes the flavor of the coffee.
And then, you know,
they poop it out.
And people buy it,
and they think it's a delicacy.
"it's a bit nutty."
We might be able to do something similar
with the avocado pit.
Considering that the avocado pit is much larger,
we could be looking at
a good investment here.
Could guacamole made from
the avocado seeds
"deposited" by a giant sloth
become a delicacy?
You could start an gourmet avocado farm,
with a bunch of sloths eating
and pooping out avocado seeds.
It would be a great way to start production,
as you wouldn’t be lacking fertilizer.
"That is one big pile of s***."
Now while it would be amazing
to have eco-friendly giants
helping us with our farms,
sadly, it's only a dream.
Giant sloths are long gone.
And unless we do some
huge genetic experiments,
they’re going to stay that way.
But wait a minute.
That’s not a bad idea.
What if we invested in the technology
to give these animals
another roll of the dice?
What if extinct animals
could be brought back to life?
Well, that’s a story for another WHAT IF.