(Team Coco jingle)
(cheers and applause)
- [Director] Name please?
- Bill Hader.
Okay so he's young, right?
I wanna do the Kessel Run in 16 parsecs, mom!
(laughter)
- [Director] Try that...
- No notes!
No notes!
- [Director] Name?
- Hey, uh, Will Arnett.
(cheering)
I'm Han Solo, how do you say it?
- [Director] Han.
- Han Solo.
Hey, Han solo.
(laughter)
It's like he's on his way to do errands or whatever.
(imitating Batman) I'm also Batman.
(cheering and applause)
If you guys want I can go deeper.
- [Director] No, we're good, thank you.
- (gravely voice) Down here.
- [Director] It's fine.
- (gravely voice) Okay.
(cheers and applause)
- Melissa McCarthy, well.
- [Director] Name please?
- Melissa McCarthy.
You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
It's a ship that made the Kessel Run
in less than 12 parsnips.
- [Directors] It's parsecs.
- Parsnips is funniers.
Nobody knows what a parsec is.
Parsnips, they're gonna be like, what?
Parsnips?
- [Director] Have you seen Star Wars?
- I've seen a good portion of one of 'em.
With the small wizard boy in the school?
In the hills?
- Hey guys, shit.
Wow.
- [Director] Name please?
- Sure, Thomas Middleditch.
Han Solo, the early years.
- [Director] Han Solo.
- Solo.
I'm saying Solo.
- [Director] Han.
- Solo, what the?
He doesn't have a lightsaber?
Han, he's the guy that doesn't have a lightsaber.
It's thermodetonator, idiot, stupid.
I'm on camera, I'm on camera, I'm on camera.
- Here's the Tauntaun, young Tauntaun.
(groaning)
(laughter)
(groaning)
This is a skateboard.
(groaning)
Oh, you know what I can do is young Jabba The Hutt.
Young Jabba the Hutt's like.
(imitating Jabba the Hutt)
(cheering and applause)
(exhales sharply)
(cheering)
- Okay.
- [Director] Name please?
- Really?
Jodie f***ing Foster.
(applause)
You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
It's the ship that made the Kessel Run
in less than 12 parsecs, now get off of my plane!
That's from a different Harrison Ford movie,
it doesn't matter.
- [Director] Name?
- Adam Sandler.
(laughter)
Millennium Falcon, Millennium Falcon, cruising along here.
Ooh, oh, almost hit a star.
Never tell me the odds!
Hooray, kids.
Don't get cocky, don't, oh.
- [Director] Name please?
- Kumail Nanjiani, from TV's Franklin and Bash.
So is this like a big spoiler,
like when Han Solo, when he was young,
was he Pakistani?
'Cause like, I'm Pakistani.
I will say, if you don't cast me in this, you're racist.
(laughter)
Never tell me the odds!
How's that?
I'm really good at like just never hearing the odds.
- [Director] The odds are.
- No!
Never tell me the odds, dude!
- [Director] Name?
- My name's 50 Cent, y'all.
(applause)
(laughter)
Chill, I'm cool.
Never tell me the odds.
- [Director] No.
- Never tell me the odds.
- [Director] Not again.
- Like this way, or?
- [Director] No.
- Man, what the f*** you want me to do?
Tell me what you want?
Never tell me the odds?
- [Director] No.
- [Director] Name please?
- I'm Jeff Goldblum.
So, but before we film anything,
can I have a quick, can I just ask,
this is for young Han Solo?
Well let's give it a shot,
as the kids say.
You never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
It's the ship that made the Kessel Run
in less than 12 parsecs.
(laughter)
If I get the part, I'll research, believe you me,
what all that means so that I can give it a little more
credibility, I'll know what I'm talking about,
here I'm just kinda reading it,
I can't say that I'm all that familiar
with the entire universe or phraseology.
Crazy thing is, it's true, the force, the Jedi.
All of it, it's all true.
Hey, I like that, I think I, you see what I gave you there?
Something in the...
(humming)
You know, well I don't have to describe it,
you do your job.
- Young Chewbacca is,
hey guys, hey when I hit puberty, you better watch out.
- [Director] Chewbacca doesn't talk.
- No notes!
- Never tell me the odds.
- [Director] Okay, Han Solo doesn't use a lightsaber.
- My version of him does.
He uses a lightsaver all the time.
- [Director] Saber.
- What?
- [Director] Lightsaber.
- You get out.
Great kid, don't be cocky.
- [Director] No.
- You suck, you suck, this whole shitshow sucks,
how about this?
(applause)
(cheering)
Piece of shit.
- Our thanks to every single funny person we know
to helping us out with that.