[music]
This week's Music Monday is the Ideal Boyfriend edition
with Teen Top's "No More Perfume on You"
[music]
Ok, we're starting to get a little bit creeped out by Teen Top's marketing strategy.
In Supa Luv, we saw Eric, Mr. Pedobear,
take a super hot and sexy hot shower after vending his teenaged boy dance team.
But we were quickly corrected by the Teen Top fans,
who said Eric was not a Pedobear.
Apparently he was in the video to appeal to all the noonas,
the older ladies in the video, who we will now refer to as Pedonoonas.
So, following this trend, Teen Top has now made a song
for all those pedonoonas who are interested in them.
They warn them, "hey! Pedonoonas! Don't wear glitter, and don't wear perfume,"
"because my younger girlfriend will know that I'm cheating on her"
"when she smells perfume on me and sees your glitter."
But, Noona still wants to wear perfume, so they solve this predicament
by buying matching perfume for both their younger girlfriend, and their older girlfriend,
that was when the younger girlfriend smells the perfume,
she won't think that he's cheating. Great idea!
I'm gonna say three nice things about this video:
1) Chunji, I really like your red plaid pants.
2) L Joe, your pink puffy hair is rawesome.
3) If I couldn't understand Korean, and I had never seen this music video,
I would probably really like this song. The melody's really catchy and the hook is great.
However, since I can understand some Korean,
and I did watch the music video, I would ask all those Teen Top fans
who are extremely sensitive to any kind of criticism to now leave the room.
No one's gonna force you to watch the upcoming video and the following onslaught.
So I would suggest that you leave in 3, 2, 1.
WHAT THE FROG ARE YOU DOING?
Let's get to the heart of the matter,
The song may be very fun to sing and dance to,
but it's got such a terrible message that it's completely unforgivable.
Nobody, not one of you, should be overlooking the fact,
that cheating is neither cute, nor endearing, nor sexy.
and it's not exactly the best quality that you're gonna put on your online dating profile.
Ok welcome back to the dating show!
Contestant #1: Describe yourself!
Well, I'm still in high school, and I'm part of a Kpop boy band
I'm a cutie boy who likes to sing and dance,
and in my spare time I like to do puzzles,
I'm also a jigalow badboy, and I'll cheat on you with older women,
and remorselessly not care about your feelings.
But I have to be home by 12 o clock or else my mom will ground me!
OMG I'm won over already! What a cutie!
We just don't understand who's supposed to like this video.
Is it targeted to girls? Is he fulfilling your teengirl fantasy
by singing about how he's going to cheat on you with an older woman?
Really now: is a guy in a band called Teen Top supposed to be considered a bad boy?
And what's up with the noona? She knows that her underaged teenaged boyfriend
is cheating on her, but she puts up with it?
I know! If you sing a song about cheating on your girlfriend,
then she puts up with it, right?
I think we need to be a little bit more forceful here:
The lyrics for this song are TERRIBLE.
And the music video doesn't make an effort to contradict those lyrics in any way.
Like, say, 2NE1's music video for "Ugly"
The lyrics suggested one thing, but the video hinted at a deeper meaning.
But just because they're cutie boys, that doesn't give them a free pass
to make a music video and song about treating other women like garbage.
We really hope that Teen Top fans can take a step back from their undying love,
and say something a little bit deeper than
"OMG! Chunji looked so cute when he winked at the camera after he cheated on his girlfriend,"
or "OMG Chunji cheats like such a boss! LOLS!"
And yeah, we do get that he's just acting,
but we do feel that you shouldn't like his scumbag acting image.
Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, on to the video.
Remember that scene when Chunji's on the phone?
You think he's chatting up his girlfriend?
You're wrong. It's actually U-Kiss calling, and they want their room back.
Or it's Mr. Brohoho who's trying to cut a deal with them.
Another question: is it just us, or does Chunji's non-stop smile really creep you out?
Is he really that smug and happy to be cheating on his girlfriends?
We'd totally understand that non-stop smile
if this was a video about cute teenaged love.
But it seems a little bit misplaced in a video about being a scumbag.
More questions: since they're all teenagers, how exactly did they get into the bar?
Last time I checked, you have to be 20 to legally drink in Korea.
With all this talk about videos being banned for being inappropriate,
I'm not sure how something so blatantly illegal slipped through the cracks.
My lord: I have three more videos for you to consider for banishment.
#1 is Hyuna's "Bubble Pop" which includes a sexually suggestive dance.
BANNED!
Very wise decision my Lord.
#2 is GD&TOP. It is "Knock Out"
It includes slang that was very popular in a TV drama
but is not very appropriate for the radio.
HMM. BANNED!
Very wise decision my lord.
#3 is a video by Teen Top which includes underaged boys
going to a bar which serves alcohol
and then meeting up with older women who are clearly far too old to be dating them.
I see no problem with that.
There might be some underlying tones of pedophilia
that might not be appropriate for television, my Lord.
How old are these boys?
They are 17.
I see no problem with this.
My Lord, I beg you to reconsider.
You're fired!
Very wise decision my lord.
MMM. Teen Top! You're so dreamy!
Now let's just pretend that this is one of those hip and cool under 19 bars,
also known as your high school dance,
and at this bar Chunji is finally confronted by his two girlfriends.
and now's the chance for the directors to redeem themselves
and show how stupid and terrible cheating is
and PPPLLLLTTT
But when Chunji sees his sad and shocked girlfriend in the end,
he's not apologetic. He's all like
"Ooh! You caught me! Look at me being all cute with my open mouth smile!"
"I'm so remorseless!"
What the FROG are you doing?
How about you try saying
"hey, I'm sorry for being a scumbag jerk,"
"for lying to you behind your back, for breaking your heart,"
"and for probably ruining all the future relationships you have with guys from now on"
"because you will never trust them"
How about some kind of apology? This is just so stupid.
Seriously. What the hell.
At least in other cheating videos that we've seen, like MBLAQ's "Y"
We see the terrible repercussions that cheating can have on another human being.
Valid question I have to ask: would it have been too much to ask
that they waited a couple years for this song to come out,
that way it wouldn't have seemed so gross to see this sulky looking noona diddling a teenaged boy?
Just wait for a couple more years!
Soon, they will no longer be Teen Top,
and they will transform into Awkward Adult Top.
And then this video wouldn't have felt soo...icky.
And lastly, to those Teen Top fans that managed to stick through to the end of this video,
We want you to note something here:
We aren't directing our disappointment directly to the Teen Top members,
Oh no. We're directing this towards their management team,
who chose to use cheap controversial methods to get their band in the spotlight.
And, truthfully, you can't really be mad at us
for not supporting a song and music video that's all about a remorseless jerkbag cheater.
[music]
So for a song about perfume, they actually do a really cool and relevant dance move
in which they pull out their shirts and kind of like smell their collars.
And then they do the can can.
The best part of the dance though, without a doubt,
Is the SEXY HAAYYYY dance
which has totally ruined how I get anything out of my pockets now.
Welcome to Barsucks Coffee, can I take your order?
Yes, I would like an extra large Spudgy mocha,
with extra chocolate and extra whip cream, and nonfat milk
Ok, that'll be 4.75 miss.
Ok just....SEXY HAAAYYYY.
That was a little bit awkward.
[music]
As for the English of the song, we give this a...
there is no English, so we're gonna do our best
to bring you to the deep level of profound discomfort we felt
when we read the lyrics to this song, by giving you a dramatic reading.
Noona’s body, is very-very sexy
Everyone says you’re a 10 out of 10
When I’m with Noona, it feels like I became a man
Without even knowing I shrug me shoulders
When you put your hands around my shoulders
It feels like I have the whole world in my hands, but
Don’t spray perfume
[music]
Last week we asked you who are the more badass hooligans,
2NE1 in "Ugly" or CN Blue in "Intuition"
and surprisingly 2NE1 won,
even though we felt that CN Blue was more rebellious by smashing up cars in the street.
But I guess the neon paint from 2NE1 won you over.
For this week's Ideal Boyfriend edition,
we ask you who makes the best boyfriend.
The scumbag cheater in Teen Top,
or SHINee in Hello Hello,
All of the members. All of them.
SHINee fans, you know what to do:
Leave your votes in the comments, or in our Facebook poll,
and we'll announce the winners next week.
Also, sorry to all the Teen Top fans who wanted us to say something nice about the video,
but, sorry, we don't like cheating.
If there's a video you want to see us do for next week's Music Monday,
head on over to http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/requests
and tell us who we should do a video for.
Aaaand, this might be awkward timing, but, SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE VIDEOS!
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