Ordering steak at a restaurant should be simple.
But it's not. So a little knowledge will help you develop confidence. If the mere
thought of going to an expensive steakhouse or an upscale restaurant intimidates you,
check this out to learn the mistakes everyone makes when ordering steak.
The most surefire way to be unhappy with a steak you order is not being specific
about how you like it cooked. This goes beyond whether you like your steak rare,
medium-rare, medium, medium-well, or well-done. Hate parsley and broccoli? Ask for a substitution.
Communicating with your server or bartender is just like having a conversation with any
other person. As for determining how you like your steak cooked so you can
clearly describe your preferences, do some research ahead of time.
"Steaks cooked medium rare."
"Can I get my steak cooked…"
"That weren’t no question."
"All right."
Buy a few steaks, then read up on exactly what temperature they should be and how long you should
cook them — based on the cut and thickness — in order to achieve your desired doneness.
Use a meat thermometer to be more exact. Try all the different options and take notes to decide
which one you like best. It's a spectrum, so the differences between one doneness
and the next are subtle. It behooves you to do some research ahead of time.
Ribeye, porterhouse, flank, filet mignon, cube,
flat iron. It's in your best interest to understand these
and other cuts of meat so you can order one with confidence the next time you're at a restaurant.
Choosing a delicious steak, however, doesn't have to be overwhelming. Once you develop an
understanding of the cuts you like and don't like, you can order steak at a restaurant like a pro.
A good way to conduct research is to simply taste test a variety of steak. Head to your
local butcher shop or grocery store butcher, then start asking questions. Buy one to three
different cuts of meat and be assured in the advice you receive on how best to prepare them.
Make the steaks at home, and take notes. What did you like? What didn't you like?
How much fat did the steak contain, and how did it taste? How was the texture?
Answering these questions will help you develop confidence when ordering a steak in a restaurant.
Maybe you just never liked steak growing up. Or your parents or guardians didn't do
the best job preparing steak to your liking. Either way,
you became accustomed to dousing your meat in a steak sauce like A1 or Heinz 57.
But you're an adult now, and while you may not be a wizard, hopefully you're a little wiser,
and more knowledgeable about how a steak should be prepared for maximum flavor.
Meat quality has improved since the old days of Heinz 57 commercials — and also you might just
insult the chef if you choose to pour a bunch of steak sauce on carefully prepared steak.
The best way to order a steak? Plain, with a little salt and pepper to taste.
But if that's not your speed, there are dozens of gourmet and homemade
steak sauces that are so much better than pre-packaged stuff. Chimichurri, béchamel,
mushroom sauce, béarnaise, peppercorn sauce — the list goes on and on.
The next time you're at a restaurant and you see one of these sauces on the menu,
go ahead and order it instead of reaching for that bottle of Heinz.
Even if you don't like it, you'll have tried something new, and you can move
on to the next gourmet sauce the next time you order steak at a restaurant.
If your first instinct is to start hacking away at the meat, don't. It's bad form to cut up your
entire steak into bite-sized pieces all at once. There's not really a good reason for this — it's
just what the generally accepted rules of etiquette dictate. Depending on the steak,
however, a chef might deliver it in sliced pieces, and that is totally fine.
Sure, you're welcome to do this at home when no one's looking, but when you're at a restaurant,
use your fork and knife to cut off one bite at a time.
Chances are you're at the restaurant with someone else, so taking a break between each bite gives
you a chance to make conversation. Plus, if you've ever eaten too much meat too quickly,
you know how uncomfortable it can feel, especially if you get steak
stuck in your throat. Slow down and relish in the moment. Your stomach will thank you.
Sometimes, a steak is just so delicious that you find yourself wanting more.
But just because the chef cooked and seasoned it perfectly doesn't mean you should start
gnawing on the bone to get the last juicy little bits of steak you ordered. It's bad etiquette.
If you can't fathom why this is a no-no, imagine how you'd feel if you were sitting in a luxurious
restaurant having a romantic dinner. How would you feel if you looked over and saw someone
chewing away at a steak bone like an animal? It's not very appetizing, nor is it polite.
"What's happening to me? There's still food but I don't want to eat it.
I've become everything I've ever hated!"
You may, however, use your fork and knife to cut every last bit of meat and fat off the bone,
then bring it to your mouth on your fork.
When you order a steak at a restaurant, your server will follow up with a simple question:
"How would you like that cooked?" Your options include some variation of rare,
medium-rare, medium, medium-well, or well-done.
And while, yes, technically you could order your steak cooked to any one of these specifications,
it's generally not a good idea to order your steak well-done.
It's a waste of money since you won't be getting the full breadth of flavors the steak can offer.
And it's an order that generally offends most chefs,
who believe you are ruining a quality cut of meat.
If you're skeptical about ordering steak even medium-rare, ask yourself why. Dig
deep to get to the bottom of this aversion. Is it the texture? Is it because someone said you
could get sick from eating raw meat? Even after this exploration, if you still can't stomach the
thought of eating a somewhat rare steak, go ahead and cook yours well-done — but do it at home.
There are very few things worse than biting down onto a piece of steak,
only to be met with tough gristle. Your first instinct might be to discreetly — or not — bring
your napkin to your mouth, then spit out the gristle, hoping that no one notices. And while
you're on the right track, it's generally not the best way to handle the situation.
For starters, what happens the next time you pick up your napkin? If you forget the gristle
is there, you could fling it onto the table or, worse, onto the person next to you. If you manage
to keep the gristle in your napkin, it's not very pleasant for your waitstaff to deal with.
And whatever you do, don't use your fingers. Etiquette expert Emily Post
says that, as a general rule, if something goes into your mouth with a utensil,
it should come out with a utensil, too.
If you're ordering a steak, chances are you're at a steakhouse or a nice restaurant.
Maybe you're celebrating something — an anniversary or a promotion,
for example. You decide to order a bottle of wine for the table.
Before you order any vino, however, it's important to understand certain wines pair
better with certain types of food, steak included. Simply put, pairing the right wine with your food
is like a symphony — all the flavors are working together in harmony.
It's always a good idea to ask the sommelier or your server for their recommendation.
The chef can offer a wine pairing, too.
The more expensive something is, the higher quality and, in general, the better it should be,
right? Well, that's not necessarily true, especially when it comes to ordering steak.
Certain cuts of meat are more expensive because they cost more to raise and prepare.
Kobe beef, for instance, comes from cattle raised according to exacting specifications in Japan.
It costs a lot of money for that piece of meat to make it all the way to your plate.
But just because it's expensive doesn't mean you're guaranteed to like it. Let your own
personal tastes dictate what you order, not the price tag. Some people love filet mignon,
but others would rather have a fattier steak, like ribeye. And that's okay.
It's particularly true that you should never order the most expensive item on the menu
if you're dining as the guest of someone else — even if they insist, according to
The Washington Post. It's just bad manners, and this move makes you look greedy and ungrateful,
no matter how you or your host tries to spin it.
If you feel foolish for not understanding what certain words mean
or what the ingredients are while you're ordering steak from a menu,
you're not alone. Restaurants aren't intentionally trying to confuse you — they just don't always do
the best job of translating foodie lingo into layperson terms that everyone can understand.
You should never feel embarrassed or awkward about asking your server what
something on the menu means. It's their job to help you make the best decision,
and that includes knowing the ins and outs of everything on the menu.
Need them to clarify how a food is prepared? Ask away. Not sure exactly what a French or Spanish
word means? Ask again. Didn't quite catch what the special was? Ask them to repeat it.
The best servers are like guides or translators — they help present the
chef's creations in the best light possible. They can and should be happy to answer any
questions as you're looking over the cocktail menu, the dinner menu, or the dessert menu.
By the time you order a steak, you've already gorged yourself on bread,
and now you'll have to find a way to politely eat
your actual dinner — an expensive steak — without completely overstuffing yourself.
Restaurants pretty much plan on you doing this
since bread is a lot cheaper for them to serve than other types of food.
If you can avoid waiting around on an empty stomach for a table, you'll be better off in
the long run. Make a reservation. Offer to sit at the bar. See if there's a community table.
And try to restrain yourself from filling up on bread as soon as you sit down.
It's a test of your willpower, but you can do it. And you'll be glad you did
when you see that nice, juicy, hot steak on the plate in front of you.
Look, we get it. Nobody wants to be the person at the table labeled as high-maintenance for sending
their food back to the kitchen, especially if you're with a group you want to impress.
"This steak is medium rare. I asked for it medium. And I wanted extra gravy on my mashed potatoes."
But when it comes to ordering steak — especially expensive cuts — it's totally acceptable and,
in fact, encouraged to send your plate back to the kitchen if the meat is not cooked to your
liking. If you tell the waiter medium-rare and your steak comes out well-done, that's a problem.
The kitchen staff at any good restaurant prides itself on getting your order right,
especially when it comes to how your meat is cooked. They'll be happy to
cook you a new steak if it means keeping you happy and satisfied as a customer.
Their response to this request will likely determine whether you recommend the restaurant
to friends or whether you ever come back again, so they want to get it right. Don't
be bashful or embarrassed if you need to send your steak back. It's not your fault!
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