- Here's some ideas for how you
and your children can enjoy the summer break
without the wheels falling off the wagon.
(gentle music)
Welcome to The Simply Charlotte Mason Podcast.
I'm Sonya Shafer.
Today, as we are recording this,
we're getting close to summer break.
And so I wanted to talk with my friend
and co-worker, Laura Pitney.
- Hi. - Hi.
I wanted to talk with you
about the best way to use summer break
so we get our break,
but still we don't enter Fall
feeling like we're playing catch up
the whole time in a frenzy.
So let's talk about some big ideas
of how do you summer break?
- Well, I look forward to the summer break
starting in maybe March.
(both laugh)
Like I'm counting down those days.
So I feel like my mindset has always been
to really spend time with the family.
Time that is devoted to them
versus all the things we have to do.
I also do consider it a catch-up time,
meaning things in my house
that maybe I didn't have time to see about.
Projects, things that need to happen
that I would've had to have picked
whether it was school day lessons
or painting the hallway.
- Okay, yes, yes.
- Just things that I really wanted to get done
that I chose to delay until summer.
So I do consider it part of a catch-up time.
Not just on house things,
but also even like habits,
things that I really started to notice
with my children and myself
that we needed to put a little extra time into.
So I try to have purposeful things
that we're going to work on and do,
but it's not formal lessons
or anything like that.
It's just things that I didn't have time for
during our regular routine of a week kind of thing.
I really like to take June and July off from school,
like school work, school planning, all of that.
So in order to prevent August
from being super crazy,
trying to be last minute on any school planning,
I personally try to get that planning done
April and May.
So then I can just close all my books up
and know that it's ready
for whenever I start back in August.
So whether a person plans like I do
before the school year ends,
or taking the time out during the summer
to do some planning
really helps the Fall be set up for success.
But that's just how I tend to think of summer
and how I kind of plan it.
I love taking vacations.
We always go camping,
We have our retreat with work
that is always so encouraging.
So there's definitely good benchmarks
to my summer,
that I want to participate in
and I want our family to participate in,
but I can't neglect my other responsibilities
for my home and the kids' habits
and the school planning.
So as much as I would like to call it a break,
it's just more like different work.
(both laugh)
I mean, practically, honestly.
- Yeah, as I was thinking about it,
and let me just mention
that not everybody takes a long summer break.
We're aware of that.
I did not, when I was homeschooling all my kids.
But what we're talking about can apply
really to any longer break.
Whether you go three months on, one month off,
three months on, one month off.
That whole month off,
a lot of these ideas can still apply.
And when I was thinking about taking a longer break
the phrase that Charlotte mentioned came to mind
where she said, "Don't confuse liberty with license."
- Oh yes.
(both laugh)
- The difference being,
Liberty is we have freedom within these boundaries,
but sometimes we can take a step over the line
into license where it's like anything goes
no boundaries whatsoever.
And I think that might be
when we get into that territory
that might be where the wheels fall off the wagon.
And then when school time comes again,
we're scrambling.
To try and,
does this wheel go on this axle?
Where does this go?
How do we get this thing moving again?
So that can apply, as you said, habits
if we just let the habits go during the break.
- I like how you said, "Liberty is within the boundaries."
And so I think it would be important
to know what your boundaries are.
So maybe just give some thought
into things that you feel like your home has to have.
So which habits are super important.
- Chores are going to keep going.
- Yes, yeah.
- Got to keep the chores going.
I mean we're not going to let the trash
pile up all summer long, please.
- Right, so I think just defining
what you personally want those boundaries to be
so that you really can enjoy the liberty.
I think that would be really smart to do.
- We were talking earlier
about one potential place you need
to define that would be bedtime.
- Oh, that is a constant battle in my house.
(both laugh)
Not necessarily that the children don't obey.
It's just always, "Hey, can we stay up later tonight,
It's not a school night."
or, "Hey, we don't have school tomorrow."
Or we only have a short day.
They just always want to stay up late.
- And you have older children now.
- I do.
And usually I go to bed before them.
(Laura laughs)
So that's a challenge because I do know
that come the beginning of August,
if they're still staying up late
because I've allowed them a later bedtime
for the summer months or for our break time.
Then if they jump right back into that,
when we start school,
they're going to be dragging.
So therefore I want to set them up for success
and say, "Hey, we need to start
working back to our school-time bedtime."
Which they don't want to do
because they're like, "It's still break.
Why would we do that?"
So, it's a choice of either letting them suffer.
Like you said, the natural consequences
of maybe not prepping themselves like they should
for earlier bedtime and getting up earlier
or me making them because I know it's
for their better good.
And it'll be easier on me,
if they're rested and...
- You just have to think through this things and decide.
- Yeah, so for me that would be a boundary,
they can't stay up to whenever they want.
I don't mind having some margin there
to where a school time, bedtime, maybe 10 o'clock
and a summertime bedtime, maybe 11 or 12,
I'd just have to think through that
but I can't just not have a bedtime.
That would be the wheels, they
could be lost forever. - That would be license
(both laugh)
- Maybe they wouldn't come back.
- They just rolled over the hill, honey,
they're gone.
(Laura laughs)
Yeah, so bedtime is one area where we need
to make those decisions
where the boundary is going to be.
And it might be a different boundary
than during the school year, as you said,
as long as we can make the transition back again,
another one along with those habits,
we talked about chores
but then there's also any family traditions.
I don't necessarily want to call it that.
But if you're doing your scripture memory,
decide, is that something we only do
during the school year
or is that part of our family culture?
And we're going to keep that going all summer long.
- Yeah, that would definitely be something
to consider those things.
And for us it's not necessarily just the lessons
that are done.
It's the connection with my family.
Especially as the kids are older
and they have different
outside-of-the-home commitments
that family time of doing our scripture memory
and praying together is really important.
Because that may be the only 30 minutes
I get with them that day.
Just because of the busyness of this break
or whatever it is.
So I definitely think that would be a good part
to consider for your boundary too,
is like you said,
the life culture of your family.
- One other part,
I think it's good for us to talk about
in a longer break is the atmosphere,
keeping the atmosphere of our home
the way we want it to be.
And a lot of that depends
on how we are feeling as parents
and how we are operating.
Definitely go out to play.
You need some time to go out and play
and you also need some time to evaluate
how things are going the rest of the year.
I heard an interesting statement.
One of the podcasts that I listened to
the host said something like,
"Time off is not going to heal you
when the problem is how you spend your time on."
- It's really good.
- If you really think about that,
that was one of those aha moments.
We sometimes we think we're just going to go
at 120 percent all school year,
and then we just collapse
but that's not what's going
to be best for our children.
This is a marathon,
not a sprint.
And we've got to figure out ways
to make it sustainable
without killing ourselves.
But more than that,
it's not just surviving it.
It is how can we thrive
in this environment as well
and create the atmosphere we want.
So one thing we can do is
take some time during those summer months
to give our other nine months of the year a KISS.
And we talked about that in a previous podcast.
We'll leave a link for everybody.
How to give your homeschool a KISS.
Think through "What do I want to keep doing?
What are we doing now that I want to keep doing?
What do I want to improve on that we're doing now?
But we could improve it a little bit more."
That's the I,
and then the two Ss are,
what are we doing now that we should stop doing?
And what's something new that we want to start?
That's the other S
So keep, improve, stop, and start.
That's just a simple framework to think through.
And you can think through it for your home school.
Yes, but also for you personally.
- I think that's important.
I think we get burned out
and almost like stuck in a rut
and we lose that we feel value
or valued in our home
because we are the person doing all the things.
And I think that's important where, like you said,
just the time to reflect
and to make sure we're in God's Word
and spending time with the Lord
just because our value is in Him
even though our family may not appreciate us.
I'm just saying that's just a season,
that we go through where we feel really dry
and in the monotonous school season,
if we're traditional with the Fall
and the Spring semester,
come May we really want that break.
And that goes back to your quote
of, "The break isn't going to heal it."
So to spend time, like you said, reflecting,
I think that's so important for our own hearts.
I think we get lost a lot of times
in how much we give to our families
that if we're not letting the Lord pour into us,
we do feel dry
but we need that refilling
so that we can pour into our families.
And we probably would enjoy the break better.
(Laura laughs)
- Yeah, that's true.
You can enjoy a break much more
if you're not exhausted and burnt out.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So we want to
take break time for refreshing
and extended time with the Lord
and really go to those special events.
Like you mentioned
the Charlotte Mason Together Retreat
That can just renew you in a special way.
But don't depend on that to carry you
through the whole year.
You need to also set up regular times
to keep that refreshment coming from the Lord.
Or you're not going to make it through.
The wheels are going to just fall off.
- Right, and I think it's important too.
I'll give you an example.
There's times where we'll use our break,
whether it's like you said,
a week here and there through the school year
or the summer break
and we'll spend time maybe catching up on a handicraft
and that's time that we can give
uninterrupted time to,
versus sometimes our school year,
our school days just end up being way busier.
Maybe we plan.
And so understanding that, that time given
to say the handcraft with our children
is also time we're giving to their relationships,
the good conversations,
there are always frustrations
when we're learning any kind of skill or handicraft,
but if we're not distracted
by the things we have to get done
because it's not necessarily a school day.
I just feel like it helps our own mindsets
to be more geared towards,
"Oh I really like my kids,
like they're good kids."
(both laugh)
Versus checking everything off the list
and just being so defeated
because it's just been a long school year.
- Yes, yes.
What else do I still need to do?
Versus I can be more present in the moment.
And enjoy them as you said.
And that would go with handcrafts,
as you mentioned, projects
that the kids could help you with
or they could just watch and cheer you on.
Depending on what it is,
even field trips.
- Or time driving,
it's just seeing the value in being with them.
Whatever that is.
I think is important.
- Good, good word. Thanks.
- You're welcome.
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(gentle music)