(jazz music)
- Hey YouTube world it's me Evelyn.
Welcome to another edition, installment, of the saga
that is hashtag smack yo lip.
The video series where I taste and or prepare beverages
and or food stuffs, alright,
and give you my thoughts on them.
This episode is for science, okay.
Because I don't think I will actually enjoy
the overwhelming majority of what I'm going to consume
in this episode of hashtag smack yo lip.
But nevertheless she persisted, amen.
You know, we getting older, you feel me?
Some of y'all on keto, uh, some of y'all addicted to juice.
Um, and so, sparkling water is
the beverage of choice.
The beverage du jour, if you will.
As a kid when you drink juice out of a cup,
you put the cup on the kitchen counter, came back,
and your mom was like,
"Uh! Get some water before you get more juice."
So without rinsing the cup,
you just put some tap water in it.
That's what I think these flavored
sparkling waters taste like.
But every now and again I'll encounter one that will
do a little something, do a little something something.
I do reside in Texas so I'm more of a TopoChico kind of girl
but TopoChico got regular, lime and grapefruit, alright.
So I want to branch out.
And in this video I am going to try all 14 original flavors
of La Croix.
And if you're wondering, yes,
that means I have currently 14 cases of La Croix.
In the pantry right now, alright.
So my coworking space is going to be real happy
when I drop 14 cases of La Croix at the office, okay.
So about this lawsuit, yes I've heard of it.
No you shouldn't be worried.
The ingredient in question is linalool
and is a component found in many essential oils.
It's what gives certain fruit's and veggies their flavor.
it's naturally found in plants like mint,
things like cinnamon and citrus fruit's.
Citrus fruit's. Citrus.
It's like suing your local juice bar for using
apple cider vinegar in your ginger shot because
ACV also kills fruit flies in your kitchen.
So no, La Croix isn't the same as guzzling Raid.
And yes, you should Google things
before posting them on Instagram.
Let's continue.
I'm just going to go ahead and get the worst one,
what I think will be the worst one, out of the way.
Coconut, why? First and foremostly, why?
There's already coconut water which doesn't taste good
and everybody watching this video from the islands
I've been there, wherever you live, I've been there
and I've tried the coconut water it doesn't hit, okay.
Coconuts taste like baby sweat.
Ice cold or lukewarm, doesn't matter.
Anyway
(laughs)
This taste like a natural hair product.
(laughs) Why am I drinking Cantu right now?
It's not bad though.
It's like creamy.
How can water taste creamy?
I don't know.
Alright, orange.
No. You heard my story about drinking juice,
drinking water out of a dirty juice cup?
This is what this is.
I don't like. It's giving me more orange flavored candy.
Ooh, no. It's giving me Fanta. No, Crush.
It's giving me you didn't wash the Crush out of your cup
before drinking water, like your mama told you to,
before you can get another slice of pizza
on Papa John pizza Fridays.
I know what you're thinking.
You ate Papa Johns? Yes.
Not anymore.
I don't like this.
Lime.
Lime is hard, okay.
Topo Chico lime is delicious, okay.
it's refreshing, crisp.
This is just,
dish soap, it's giving me dish soap.
Like you didn't wash the dish soap out of the cup
before drinking it.
Oh why didn't I start with this one?
This is pure.
This is just regular sparkling water, no flavor.
It's water.
I posted on Instagram that I was going to record this video.
And one of my internet cousins was like,
"La Croix taste like TV static" (laughs)
and I was like, you know, it very well might.
But I need to try for myself.
And that is the American way,
ignore everyone trying to warn you and just do it yourself.
I mean it's water so I'm still drinking it.
You know what I'm saying?
It's not bad, no complaints about pure.
And if I did that would be a problem.
So, hey, I like it.
Peach pear.
Get it good, let's go up to the mic.
(sings) "Oh my god!"
This tastes like the dreams of a pear.
When Adam was in the garden of Eden and God was like
aye, Adam go ahead and name those things in the corner
and he was like ahh, mmm,
It's giving me a ooh,
like before it ever mmm (laughs)
I would call this pear.
I wouldn't call this peach at all.
I'm getting no peach.
It's not disgusting.
I am good.
Alright, here we have lemon.
I do not, I am wary.
I'm wary of lemon.
Okay, hold up, hold up.
So at first this was giving me Pine Sol
just a touch though.
But upon drinking it further,
lemon is not bad.
It's giving me refreshing, it's giving me lemon ice water
from the restaurant, you feel what I'm saying?
Because you can't have lemonade or a sweet tea
because people be like Evelyn watch your sugar levels.
You know what I'm saying?
And you're like, ugh, fine give me like all the lemons
and I'll make my own lemonade low key.
I'm a fan of this one.
Alright, ha.
Mango.
Now as a child of the Diaspora.
As a daughter of the equator if you will,
me and mangoes we go way back.
Ancestrally, if you will.
And I just, I just don't know
how I feel about this.
How it's going to pan out.
I'm not even going to smell it.
(laughs)
This tastes like colonialism.
You know when Maya Angelou was like, I am.
What'd she say? I am my ancestors dreams realized
or something, wildest dreams.
This not it.
This is not anybody's dream.
I don't know why I keep tasting it because I'm trying
maybe because I hate myself.
Lets say you're pureeing some mango,
you know what I'm saying,
you trying to make mango lassi
and you just like lick the strainer (laughs)
and then you keep it in your mouth,
swish around tap water.
Alright, passion fruit.
I am not a fan of actual passion fruit.
Passion fruit and papaya.
Also like the way passion fruit looks
kind of freaks me out, but.
Lord Jesus.
It's giving me adolescent pits.
Okay, when you were like 11, 12 and you were like,
"Oh no. I've got to put something, I smell kind of bad."
And you put on a little fruity, something rooty tooty
fresh and fruity.
Something about passion fruit just
taste like girl BO.
I don't know what it is about that fruit specifically.
That's why I don't like passionfruit.
It's just, it's not bad, you know what I'm saying?
It's not like (gags) because you know you walk in
a boys locker room and you're like (gags).
This is just like 13 year old
testing out deodorant but you still got volleyball practice.
Apricot.
Now I'm not very familiar with apricots in general.
I've had like a dried apricot before.
But I don't think I've ever had like a fresh apricot.
This is like the least offensive.
I'm not going to use the word delightful, okay.
Hold your horses.
I'm not going to use the word delightful.
I'm going to come back to this.
This is suspect.
Let's drink some pure.
Apricot.
I think I like this?? Oh no!
It's not giving me colonialism.
It's not giving me the pillaging of my people.
It do taste like you got a apricot.
You put a bowl underneath and you poured water
over the apricot and whatever water landed in the bowl
you then drank that.
So it like, the water caressed the apricot
and that's what she decided to drink.
I'm not mad at it.
It's not offensive at all.
It's not offensive.
Alright, key lime.
We already tasted lime.
And that didn't go very well.
Oh I smelled it, oh oh. (laughs)
Oh girl.
This taste like skittles.
Why is this good?
And the other ones are so not.
I would drink this.
Oh.
This is the winner so far.
I'm going to put that to the side and actually like
consume it.
Tangerine.
I tend to like tangerines better than oranges anyway
(laughs)
Tastes like it's giving me a little bit of Pedialyte.
You know what I'm saying?
Giving me a little of, um,
of like, uh, watered down Gatorade.
Tangerine, orange.
No, they both don't taste good.
But this is not as bad as this.
This tastes like the box that the tangerines came in.
You know what I'm saying?
Like let's say you shop at Aldi,
you feel what I'm saying,
and you know they just put the produce in a crate
throw all the produce out, get inside the crate,
smell it.
(laughs)
Key lime still wins.
Alright, berry, okay.
I can smell it from down here.
(That's So Raven vision sequence)
Oh no.
This taste like Febreeze.
Doing this to yourself is not necessary, sis.
What berry is it even?
You know what I'm saying?
Grapefruit, otherwise known as pamplemousse.
Why I feel drunk?
This can't be bad, it's grapefruit.
Grapefruit already is nothing.
You know what I'm saying?
Hmmm. The random soaps at Ross and TJ Maxx
and Marshalls and Homegoods.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, what brand is this.
You know, you know what I'm saying.
No.
Oh, and here we have cran-raspberry.
Why? Why would you put tart cranberry
with raspberry .
(laughs)
This is giving me sip sip sippin' on some sizzurp.
It's giving me like children's Tylenol.
The chewables, it's giving me chewable children's medicine.
Is this the worst one? Yes.
In general, I'm just,
I'm not a big fan of sparkling water.
I do think it's a good idea to use it to cut
sugary beverages
So like, take a Simply Lemonade,
cut it with a splash, you know like cut it,
you feel me, so that you're not drinking so much sugary
beverage it's like, you know, like a nice little cocktail,
if you will, I'm a fan of that.
Apricot, I'm not gonna say it go hard
because don't get gassed, okay.
But it do go, it kinda go.
Key lime is hands down
the best flavor of La Croix.
Everything else is just the imagination
behind the fruit.
You know what I'm saying.
Everything else is just a whisper in the wind.
So that's it for this episode of hashtag smack yo lip.
I hope you enjoyed it.
In the comments below let me know your thoughts
on any of these flavors.
What have you tried?
What do you hate?
What do you love?
Let me know and I will see you on the internet somewhere.
Bye.
(Kenyan accent) Because mango is supposed to be sweet.
It's supposed to be juicy, alright.
It's supposed to give you flavor.
This is not giving me flavor, it's giving me,
It's just accosting me.