- [Dunk] Hey, guys! Check out our new channel...
It's called Dunk Tank.
The Dunkey Podcast
where every week, we talk about how they casted Will Smith as the genie from Aladdin.
So come on down and give it a try!
Alright?
You sons of bitches! You'd better come, goddammit!
(Video Starts) (Laughing)
This shit isn't funny!
You think this is funny?
No.
This is serious.
Today we're playing Webkinz.
Now, first we have to adopt a pet...
Okay? I'm thinking this penguin.
Look how happy he gets when you put the cursor on him.
Look! He's so happy! (Laughing)
The- Oh, no!
(Laughs)
I hate this!
He's just so sad when you go to a different one. (Laughing)
Look at that elephant.
Hey! Tha-
Oh!
(Laughs)
Oh, no! (Laughing)
Oh, this rabbit looks pretty good.
Eh, well-
(Laughs)
Goddammit!
Alright! Let's just go with the penguin.
- [Ms. Birdy] "OK."
"Now all we need to know before we can send this pet home with you"
"is their name-"
- [Dunk] Oh, his name. That's easy. (Typing)
That's Kill Bastard!
Lock it in!
What?!
You can't use Kill Bastard?
I know!
You gotta trick the system.
You see, we gotta just put a...
There we go!
What?!
Dick Slammer!
Come on!
(Typing)
Penguin!
Alright! (Laughs)
"This are my Happy, Hunger and Energy meters"
"They'll let you know when I need to take a nap"
Okay! So this is-
This is pretty much just, uh, Metal Gear Survive.
Okay. Here I am in the game.
As you can see here I am playing as the... pink sheep.
Uh, I think my goal here is to...
kind of-
You have to guide these bees...
into ramming into these flowers
then they disappear.
Okay. Now, this is a lot of bees.
There's a- (chuckle) There's a lot of bees here
and not a lot of flowers. (Loud music)
But maybe we could get-
If we could get less bees on this game.
HOLY SHIT!
HOLY...
HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN THIS- ?!
Okay, I switched it to golf now
and somehow this is actually
substantially harder than the bee game (Laughing)
because I have no control over where I'm hitting it or how hard I'm hitting- (Laughing)
I'm- I'm just moving the cursor around and he's just doing it, whatever the fuck he feels like.
I have no contro- I have no say over this.
Camera, move!
- Oh... - [Leahbee] Oh...
- [Dunk] What?!
Why does it come back?!
(Leah laughs)
Oh my god!!!
(Leah's laughing in the background)
Oh my god!!! (Laughing)
(They're both laughing)
How do you do this?! (Laughing)
I like how you can permanently move to the right,
but not left.
If you go left, it just bounces back.
- [Leah] Oh my god... Okay.
Woo!
I did it! (Laughs)
- [Dunk] HOW?! (Laughing)
How the hell did you do that?!
Now, on the surface
Webkinz is just about dressing up animals and playing these great games,
like "Ant Mania",
but if you look closely, you'll discover the seedy underbelly of Webkinz.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Exhibit A...
"Scary Webkinz..."
"My Webkin died..."
"Ms. Birdie killed my Webkinz."
Classic YouTube video.
We don't really have to watch the video,
because the title kind of spoils everything,
but- I mean, yeah! See?
This lady comes up,
her eyes turn red...
and then, yeah! See?
The Webkinz (laughs)
The Webkinz died. (Laughing)
(Laughs)
Exhibit B...
This video titled "Webkinz Killer" says
that if you click on Dr. Quack's poster 32 times,
he will decapitate your Webkinz with a chainsaw.
See?
This isn't funny!
"Story #3"
"The Boxes"
"A black box appears on the floor of your house."
"When you click on it, a Neopet comes out and kills your Webkinz." (Laughing)
(Laughs)
Exhibit C...
The stupid ass Chihuahua.
I f-
This guy's gotta be haunted. I fucking hate this guy.
- [Chihuhua] "Ah-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-chaaa"
- [Dunk] See what I'm saying?
- [Chihuhua] "I'm an Olympic Piñata Burster."
- [Dunk] He's so creepy!
Why does he say it so weird?
- [Chihuhua] "Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-chaaa"
- [Dunk] Say it again. See what happens.
- [Chihuhua] "Cha-cha-cha-chaaa"
"Oh, the bean is broken!"
- [Dunk] That's what fucking happen-
Now Leah brought me in this room where we have to wait five minutes to play the game-
Why are we doing this, babe?
I don't want to do this!
- [Leah] 5...
- [Dunk] 5... 4... - [Leah] 4...
- [Both] 3...
2...
1...
(Chord, Windows 98 Sound)
- [Dunk] Goddammit.
"What color is a banana?" (Leah laughs)
- [Leah] It can be green...
- [Dunk] Fuuuuuck...
"This is also the color of a lemon!"
Okay!
So...
(Leah laughs)
Okay, so it's not purple.
I'm thinking it's...
Yellow.
- [Quizzy] "Oops! You're out of time!!!"
- [Dunk] Oh, fuck you, man!
"What kind of beat do you hear every day, wherever you go?"
"The beat of a horse's hooves" (Laughing)
(Leah laughs)
No?
"Webkinz Supermodelz" Ooh!
- [Leah] You pick a shirt, the pants and a hat...
- [Dunk] Okay! - [Leah] And you wanna be the most fashionable.
- [Dunk] I'm gonna go with the polka dot shirt and the Santa hat.
Make it work.
Uh-oh, Diva coming through!
Oh, look at that disaster.
Yuck!
- [Dunk] Disast- I win! - [Leah] What the heck?!
(Dunkey laughs)
(Leah laughs)
- [Dunk] I'm good at this game!
I'm fashionable.
- [Leah] You're wearing a Santa hat! (Laughing)
- [Dunk] That's hot this season.
(Leah laughs)
Now, watch this...
Boom!
Look at that.
"I need to get myself the Santa Jacket!" (Laughing)
(Laughs)
- [Leah] What?!
(Dunkey clapping)
What the heck?!
(Dunkey's laughing)
- [Dunk] I'm too good at this game, babe.
Look- Look, you're good at bowling.
Let's do bowling. You're good at this.
- [Leah] It's been a while, but I think my technique is still valid.
- [Leah] Oh, fuck. (Dunkey laughs)
(They're laughing)
[OUTRO]