WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW."
FOLKS, MY FIRST GUEST IS AN EMMY AND GRAMMY AWARD-WINNING
COMEDIAN YOU KNOW FROM "MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST" AND HER 23 COMEDY
SPECIALS.
PLEASE WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," KATHY GRIFFIN.
♪ ♪ ♪
♪ OH, KATHY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HERE.
>> I'M BACK!
( CHEERS )
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'VE NEVER MET BEFORE.
>> WE'VE NEVER MET BEFORE.
IT'S IRONIC.
I'M SUCH A FAN.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> AND I THINK WE BOTH ENJOY MAKING FUN OF THE
ADMINISTRATION, FROM TIME TO TIME.
>> Stephen: MANY OTHER THINGS.
YOU'RE FROM OAK PARK, ILLINOIS.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: QUALITY PEOPLE.
THAT'S FRANK LLOYD WRITING COUNTRY.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
ANYBODY WHO LIVED IN A WRIGHT HOUSE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD WAS A
CELEBRITY.
THIS IS LIKE AN ARCHITECTURAL SHOW.
WE'RE DOING A LOT OF ARCHITECTURAL WORK.
>> Stephen: THIS IS ALL ON HGTV.
CBS WON'T RUN THAT PART.
IN MAY 2017.
>> MY LIFE CHANGED FOREVER.
>> Stephen: IT DID.
YOU TOOK A CONTROVERSIAL PHOTO-- >> DID I!
>> Stephen: AND YOU EXPERIENCED BACKLASH.
>> OH, YES.
>> Stephen: I NEVER EXPERIENCED BACKLASH FOR
ANYTHING.
( LAUGHTER )
WAS LIKE TO HAVE PEOPLE NOT LIKE SOMETHING YOU DID.
>> WELL, NOT LIKE IS A LITTLE BIT OF AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> 60 MILLION AMERICANS THOUGHT THAT I WAS A MEMBER OF ISIS.
OH, YES, BECAUSE THEY WERE RECRUITING A LOT OF 58-YEAR-OLD
REDHAIRED COMEDIANS.
>> Stephen: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT STAT?
>> I GET IT FROM THE NEWS.
I GOT IT FROM SARAH PALIN.
>> Stephen: IT WAS A POLL, LIKE, WHAT PEGE OF
AMERICANS THINK-- >> IT REALLY WAS.
I DIDN'T KNOW-- BY THE WAY, WHAT JOB DO YOU THINK PEOPLE THOUGHT
I HAD?
DO YOU THINK I THOUGHT I WAS THE C.F.O. OF ISIS OR WHAT-- LIKE
THE SHOPKEEPER.
>> Stephen: H.R.
H.R.
OKAY.
>> I WOULD HAVE BEEN BUSY.
I WOULD HAVE BEEN BIZ GLE YEAH, EXACTLY.
>> SO THAT WAS REALLY CRAZY.
YES, I TOOK A PHOTO THAT CHANGED MY LIFE IRREVOCABLY.
THAT WAS ONE THING.
THE WALLS CAVED IN ON ME, AND THE ACCIDENTAL PRESIDENT-- IT'S
AN ACCIDENT-- HE TWEETED AT ME THAT, YOU KNOW, MY-- HE TWEETED
AGAINST ME, WHICH MADE EVERYTHING CANCEL IN MY LIFE,
BASICALLY.
I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A 50-CITY TOUR, AND WITHIN 12 HOURS I HAD
NOT ONE SINGLE DAY OF WORK AHEAD OF ME.
AND, BY THE WAY, TO THIS DAY, I DO NOT HAVE ONE SINGLE DAY OF
PAID WORK AHEAD OF ME.
SO I'VE BEEN DIGGING MYSELF OUT OF THIS RABBIT HOLE FOR LAST
YEAR AND A HALF.
AND THE NEXT DAY I GOT A CALL FROM ONE OF MY ATTORNEYS THAT
THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE-- AND A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS
PART-- ACTUALLY, TWO FEDERAL AGENCIES, THE SECRET SERVICE AND
THE A.U.S.A., THE ASSISTANT U.S.
ATTORNEY'S OFFICE-- WERE PUTTING ME NARR TWO-MONTH FEDERAL
INVESTIGATION AND CONSIDERING CHARGING ME WAY CRIME-- THIS IS
REAL-- OF CONSPIRACY TO ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES.
SO A LOT OF PEOPLE THOUGHT YOU KNOW I GOT A CALL FROM THE
SECRET SERVICE OR GOT IN FAKE HOLLYWOOD TROUBLE.
BUT, NO, THIS IS REAL-LIFE TROUBLE.
>> Stephen: NO, THAT'S REAL-LIFE TROUBLE.
WHEN THE FEDS SHOW UP, THAT WAS REAL TROUBLE.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?
>> I THOUGHT THIS PICTURE WOULD BE IN, LIKE, "STARS NOT NORMAL,"
AND LIKE THE "STAR" MAGAZINE.
>> Stephen: WALK ME THROUGH IT.
HOW DID IT COME ABOUT?
>> I WAS DOING SOME WACKY PICTURES.
I DID ONE WHERE I WAS SPOOFING MY THEN-NEIGHBOR KIM
KARDASHIAN-- WHICH, BY THE WAY, JUST AS A COMEDIAN, TO BE LIVING
NEXT DOOR TO KIM AND KANYE DURING THIS WHOLE THING GOT ME
THROUGH.
LIKE, THAT ALONE GOT ME THROUGH.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: SOMETHING NORMAL IN YOUR LIFE.
>> SOMETHING NORMAL!
PEOPLE I CAN RELATE TO.
>> Stephen: SOMETHING GROUNDING.
>> YTHAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND I WOULD JUST OPEN A WINDOW AND SEE KIM AND JUST FEEL
BETTER, FEEL MORE AMERICAN.
SO I WAS ON-- A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS, ALSO-- I WAS ON
THE NO-FLY LIST FOR TWO MONTHS.
>> Stephen: WHAT.
>> LIKE I WAS A TERRORIST.
>> Stephen: HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?
DID GUTO THE AIRPORT?
>> I WAS TOLD.
I WAS TOLD.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN'T FLY.
>> FOR TWO MONTHS.
THEN THEY WANTED ME TO GO DOWNTOWN TO THE PRECINCT IN--
THE POLICE PRECINCT, AND THEY WANTED TO GET VIDEO OF WHAT'S
CALLED A PERP WALK.
AND THIS WAS COME, I ASSUME, DIRECTLY FROM THE OVAL OFFICE
AND JEFF SESSION S.
>> Stephen: COULD BE.
>> I MEAN, THAT'S WHERE YOUR TAX DOLLARS WENT, EVERYBODY,
INVESTIGATING KATHY GRIFFIN FOR CONSPIRACY TO-- BUT IT WAS REAL.
THAT SPECTER, LIVING UNDER THAT, WAS VERY FRIGHTENING.
AND THE DEATH THREATS WERE VERY IMMEDIATE.
AND OF COURSE I GOT FIRED UPON EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT CNN TURNED
ON ME, AND ANDERSON COOPER SAID I WAS DISGUSTING, AND I LOST
ABOUT 75% OF MY FRIENDS THAT NEVER CAME BACK.
AND IT WAS HARD.
SO I, YOU KNOW, JUST STARTED WRITING AGAIN.
AND I THOUGHT THIS IS A LEMON.
I'VE GOT TO MAKE LEMONADE.
AND I COULDN'T GET ANY, YOU KNOW, WORK IN MY COUNTRY OF
ORIGIN.
SO I STARTED AN OVERSEAS TOUR CALLED "THE KATHY GRIFFIN LAUGH
YOUR HEAD OFF TOUR."
GET IT?
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: WHERE DID YOU GO, THOUGH?
>> I WENT TO -- >> Stephen: WHERE DID YOU GO?
>> I WENT TO-- I STARTED OUT IN OCTOBER LAND AND SOLD OUT ESTATE
OPERA HOUSE AND WENT TO AUSTRALIA AND SOLD OUT THE
LONDON PALLADIAN, AND ENDED UP IN REYKJAVIK.
I'M THE DARLING OF REYKJAVIK, ICELAND.
AFTER BJORK.
AND THEN I TIMELY PLAYED CANADA BECAUSE THEY WERE LIKE, OF
COURSE, WE GET IT.
THEY GET IT.
>> Stephen: BUT, STILL, IN THE UNITED STATES YOU CAN'T GET A
GIG.
>> CORRECT.
AND, ALSO, WHEN I WAS OVERSEAS, I WAS ALSO PUT ON WHAT'S CALLED
THE INTERPOL LIST.
SO I WAS DETAINED AT EVERY SINGLE AIRPORT I WENT TO.
AND I'M PLAYING 18 COUNTRIES.
AND I MEAN, IT SOUNDS KIND OF FUNNY.
>> Stephen: NO.
>> RIGHT, I KNOW?
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT.
>> Stephen: NOT THAT FUNNY.
>> A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE LIKE, "GET OVER IT, HONEY."
IT'S REALLY SCARY TO BE AT THE AIRPORT IN SINGAPORE, AND THEY
TAKE MY PASSPORT AND MY PHONE AND PUT YOU IN A DETENTION ROOM
FOR AN UNDETERMINED AMOUNT OF TIME AND THEY NEVER TELL YOU
WHY.
I WAS TOO SCARED TO SAY, "WHAT DO I DO?"
AND I HAD A SHOW AT 8:00, AND I HAD PEOPLE WAITING FOR ME TO
MAKE ME LAUGH SO LET'S WRAP IT UP.
I TRIED TO KEEP MY SENSE OF HUMOR, AND BEPT BUILDING THE
SHOW.
THINGS WERE ADDED TO IT.
CRAZY STUFF WOULD HAPPEN.
WHEN I CAME BACK TO THE STATES, I STILL-- I WAS DETERMINED TO
CHANGE MY WHOLE BUSINESS WOD MODEL BECAUSE HOLLYWOOD DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ME.
I HIRED A MARKETING COMPANY IN D.C. CALLED CAMBRIDGE
ANALYTICA-- I'M KIDDING.
I DID NOT, I DID NOT -- >> Stephen: THEY'RE VERY GOOD,
THOUGH, I HEAR VERY GOOD THINGS.
>> THEY'RE VERY SPECIFIC.
I STARTED MY FIRST MAILING LIST-- I KNOW, OLD-TIME ME-- MY
FIRST TEXT LIST AND THAT'S REALLY WHAT SOLD OUT THE TOUR.
AND I WAS SO BLACKLIFTED IN HOLLYWOOD-- WHICH I STILL AM--
THAT I STARTED TO PROMOTING MY OWN SHOWS.
I HAD EVERYONE TELLING ME I CAN'T SELL TICKETS AND SOLD OUT
CARNEGIE HALL IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS.
( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU!
>> Stephen: I NEVER SOLD OUT CARNEGIE HALL.
>> I SOLD IT OUT FIVE TIMES.
ANYWAY, SO THEN I DECIDED TO PROMOTE MY OWN SHOWS AND I WIRED
MONEY TO RADIO CITY, AND JUST LIKE AS AN F-U., I PLAYED RADIO
CITY THE NIGHT BEFORE CARNEGIE AND PROMOTED IT MYSELF AND I
LEARNED THAT PART OF THE BUSINESS, WHICH I REALLY LOVE
DOING.
AND I WANTED TO MAKE A SPECIAL BECAUSE I'VE DONE 23.
BUT THIS ONE HAS A LITTLE MORE MEAT ON THE BONE.
AND AT THE MOMENT, NO TV OR STREAMING SERVICES ARE
INTERESTED.
BUT I AM NOW THINKING WHAT IF IT'S A CONCERT FILM, AND I'M
TRYING TO GET INTO FILM FESTIVALS, AND MAYBE DO A PANEL
WITH, LIKE THE A.C.L.U., OR FIRST AMENDMENT ATTORNEY.
I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO ANY OF YOU GUYS.
NONE OF YOU SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AND HUNDREDS OF
THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF LEGAL BILLS OR GOD FORBID ONE OF YOUR
PICTUKIDS PUT THAT PICTURE ONLIN >> Stephen: THERE ARE LIMITS
TO WHAT YOU CAN SAY ABOUT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES,
HAVING SPECIFICALLY TO DO ABOUT HARM AGAINST THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES.
>> WHICH I DID NOT DO.
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU WERE HOLDING UP A SEVERED HEAD.
>> NO, IT WAS A MASK.
IT WAS A HALLOWEEN MASK WITH KETCHUP.
>> Stephen: I KNOW IT WASN'T THE PRESIDENT'S HEAD--
>> WHERE WOULD I GET A SEVERED HEAD.
A LOT OF THE MAGA PEOPLE THINK I REALLY WENT TO THE WHITE HOUSE
UNNOTICED, CUT HIS HEAD OFF, WENT BACK TO MY HOUSE IN BEL AIR
AND TOOK THE PICTURE WITH KIM AND KANYE NOT EVEN MINDING, AND
WENT BACK TO THE WHITE HOUSE AND SEWED IT BACK ON.
IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.
I'M NOT A SURGEON.
I NEVER SAID I WAS.
>> Stephen: WOULD YOU DO DID AGAIN?
HOW ABOUT THAT?
WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S A TOUGH QUESTION.
>> Stephen: I ASK TOUGH QUESTIONS.
THAT'S WHAT THE SHOW IS.
WELCOME TO "FIRING LINE."
WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN?
>> I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD DO THAT PARTICULAR THING AGAIN.
BUT I'M ON A MISSION TO MAKE SURE THIS NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.
AND I WAS AT THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER, WHEN
THEY TRIED TO TAKE DOWN MICHELLE WOLF WHO DID A FANTASTIC
MONOLOGUE AND I STARTED AN ONLINE CAMPAIGN.
AND AS YOU KNOW, THAT PHOTO I TOOK IT WAS PRIX ME TOO,
PREWEINSTEIN.
BUT I WAS KIND OF THE TEST CASE.
>> Stephen: HOW ARE THOSE RELATED TO PREWEINSTEIN AND ME
TOO.
>> I THINK PEOPLE STARTED THINKING DIFFERENTLY ABOUT WHAT
MEN CAN GET AWAY WITH, AND POWERFUL MEN AND HOW THEY CAN
LORD IT OVER FEMALES.
AND REMEMBER, THEY DIDN'T CHARGE ANY OF THE GUYS.
SNOOP DOGG ALLEGEDLY MADE A THREAT.
JOHNNY DEPP ALLEGEDLY MADE A THREAT.
NOTHING HAPPENED TO THEM.
I DIDN'T JUST GET A PHONE CALL.
I HAD TO DEAL WITH A FULL INVESTIGATION.
AND THAT CHARGE, CONSPIRACY TO ASSASSINATE THE PRESIDENT, COMES
WITH A LIFETIME SENTENCE.
SO IT'S VERY FRIGHTENING TO THINK I DID AN UNDER-OATH
INTERROGATION WHERE MY LAWYER SAID, "YOU BASICALLY SCREW THIS
UP AND YOU LEAVE IN CUFFS.
THAT'S NOT HOW TO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.
THE FIRST AMENDMENT IS OUR COMMODITY AND HOW WE MAKE OUR
LIVING.
AND THEN THE PRESIDENT TRIED TO DO IT AGAINST SAM BEEBEE, WHO
DOES A POLITICAL SATIRICAL SHOW.
AND I STARTED AN ONLINE CAMPAIGN AGAIN, "NOT ON MY WATCH."
>> Stephen: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THE PRESIDENT TALKED SMACK
ABOUT YOU?
>> EDDIE MUENSTER COMES AFTER ME, DON JR.
>> Stephen: OH, REALLY?
>> YEAH.
THAT ONE, REAL STABLE GENIUS.
>> Stephen: MY FEELINGS ARE A LITTLE HURT BECAUSE HE WON'T
EVER SAY MY NAME.
HE JUST CALLS ME "THE GUY ON CBS."
>> WELL, WAIT UNTIL THE FEDS COME.
>> Stephen: MAYBE.
>> OH, AND -- >> Stephen: BUT, LISTEN, YOU
SAID THAT DONALD TRUMP BROKE ME.
YOU DON'T SEEM BROKEN.
>> I WAS BROKEN FOR, LIKE, TWO DAYS.
>> Stephen: OH, OKAY.
>> I DIDN'T REALIZE I COULD GET UNBROKEN SO QUICKLY.
AND YET I REALIZED I HAVE TO-- I HAVE THIS BIG LEMON AND I
DECIDED TO MAKE LEMONADE, SO THAT'S WHEN I GOT THE IDEA FOR
THE TOUR.
AND, OBVIOUSLY, I WAS GOING TO DEAL WITH THE PHOTO IN THE TOUR.
BECAUSE EVERYONE AROUND THE WORLD KNOWS THE CRAZY REDHAIRED
LADY FROM THE PICTURE AND I'M TRULY GLOBAL NOW.
THE TOUR, AND FIMG THE SPECIAL WHICH I FUNDED MYSELF.
BECAUSE I'M NO MUCH MORE OF A SELF-MADE WOMAN THAN I'VE EVER
BEEN.
AND MY WHOLE CAREER HAS BEEN-- I'VE NEVER GOTTEN IN THE FRONT
DOOR SO FIGURING OUT HOW TO GET IN THE SIDE WINDOW, THE SIDE
DOOR.
BACK TO THE BASICS.
DOING IT AGAIN.
WHY DID THAT MAKE YOU LAUGH.
>> Stephen: I LIKE PEOPLE WHO ARE INDEFATIGABLE.
>> DON'T YIEWRS COLLEGE WORDS ON ME.
>> Stephen: UNDEFEATED.
UNDEFEATED PEOPLE.
I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
YOU'VE BEEN DOING SOMETHING KIND OF INTERESTING THAT YOU'RE GOING
TO ANNOUNCE TO THE PEOPLE.
>> I'M VERY PROUD OF THIS.
I THINK ABOUT HOW GUYS HAVE A LOT OF OWNERSHIP IN OUR INDUSTRY
AND LICENSING, SO I HAVE QUIETLY SPENT THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS,
BUYING BACK MY OWN ENTIRE LIBRARY.
STARTING TONIGHT-- I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE A BUNCH OF MONEY BUT I
WANT TO DO IT AS A STATEMENT TO ENCOURAGE GAY FOLKS AND WOMEN
AND YOUNGER FOLKS THAT THIS OLD BIRD DIDN'T GO DOWN.
YOU CAN GET MY LIFE ON THE "D-"LIST, ALL MY 23 SPECIALS AND
TALK SHOWS ON iTUNES AND I BOUGHT IT ALL BACK.
SO I NOW OWN EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE.
SO IT'S NOT OWNED BY SOME DUDE OR OLD WHITE DINOSAUR.
>> Stephen: THE BEATLES DON'T EVEN OWN THEIR CATALOGS.
>> Stephen: KATHY.
SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
>> THANK YOU, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: THE COMPLETE LIBRARY OF KATHY GRIFFIN'S WORK IS
AVAILABLE NOW ON iTUNES.
KATHY GRIFFIN, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.