Imagine you're a caveman because our brain has not changed that much in
5,000 years and you need to build a bridge over a very large river and the only bridges you've ever seen are
made out of trees.
So you start cutting trees and chopping trees and felling trees and debarking trees and you work hard and
You try to build a bridge because you know that the other side of this river has some great resources.
You can see the fruit trees and the deer that you need for food and
You're excited about the prospects. You even enjoy the feelings of hard work.
So you're working hard and you're building your bridge and then you realize that the river is wider than even the tallest tree.
You started with tons of energy and enthusiasm and optimism sure that you could accomplish this task
But your first attempt to build this bridge fails
You lay some of the trees across the river and they immediately get swept away by the current.
You lose all of your hard work.
Each of those trees took days to cut down with stone axes and to shape with stone tools.
You work day and night. You can't sleep as you think about what you've got to accomplish tomorrow.
So you don't give up you try again-
You cut more trees and you shape them and you connect them and you try and put posts in and you carve your joints and
You join two trees together and at this point you've invested months of your precious time,
time that could have been spent gathering other food for the winter. And
Your second bridge makes it further across the river and you're hopeful and you're working hard
But then the river swells and washes away all of your hard work.
Now at this point you've expended your resources you're exhausted
you're sore you're freezing from being cold and wet in the rivers water and
You're running out of summer
So your body kicks in some survival instincts you give up on the bridge.
You're no longer interested in something that was once exciting and enjoyable for you.
Your eating habits change you feel hungry all the time and you eat all the time gaining weight and putting on fat
Unless of course food isn't available and then you lose your appetite stop eating much and conserve energy
you feel
Hopeless about the prospects of this bridge ever working you feel no desire to go work on it
You can't get motivated to go out there and chop at some tree with a rock.
You stay in bed late in the day, and you just want to sleep all day
You look lazy, but your body is trying to heal and replenish its strength
Instead of hanging out with friends around the fire you isolate yourself in your cave
You re-live your bridge failure over and over in your head
What went wrong? Why did it fail?
"I am the worst bridge builder ever"
Now, can you see the symptoms of depression in that list? Trouble concentrating remembering details
and making decisions,
fatigue, feelings of guilt, worthlessness and helplessness.
pessimism, and hopelessness
Insomnia, early morning wakefulness and sleeping too much.
Irritability, restlessness.
Loss of interest in things once pleasurable including sex.
Overeating or appetite loss. Aches pains headaches or cramps. That won't go away
Persistent sad anxious or empty feelings
suicidal thoughts or attempts.
Now the interesting thing is that with a physical challenge like building a bridge those symptoms,
Things that we see in our modern day as dysfunctional or broken are actually serving an important and useful function
That feeling of hopelessness is great because it's going to stop you from wasting your time cutting down trees
That won't work
That overeating or under eating will help you survive with the winter. The lack of motivation and desire to stay in bed all day
will help your body replenish its resources and heal from injuries. And
that excessive rumination, that
Overthinking-going over and over in your head. What went wrong? Why did it fail?
pretty soon you're going to be thinking about that bridge over and over your body's gonna heal and
You're gonna stop sleeping as well at night because you've suddenly got a new idea-
What if you use large stones as pillars between the tree lengths? Thank goodness you are hopeless about
Spanning the bridge with just trees because now you've got an even better idea for how to cross the river.
You carry baskets of rocks and cut some stone you built piles in the river
part of the way across and then you use shorter lengths of wood to span those gaps and
All of a sudden you've got a functioning bridge, perhaps the first stone bridge that was ever built
Now all of those symptoms of depression actually served a function
Helping you stay alive
Restoring your energy and solving problems by giving up on hopeless ideas.
Unfortunately, sometimes with depression we believe something is hopeless when it's actually possible
The bridge felt hopeless but it wasn't the bridge that was impossible. It was just trying to cross it with only trees
With depression our thoughts often convince us that "we are a failure" instead of "What I was doing wasn't working"
The distortions make it hard for us to see the way out.
I'm not saying that the symptoms of depression are comfortable or that the distorted and dark thoughts are true.
I'm saying that there are markers that something needs to change
Keep trying new things, new ways of thinking seeing or acting until you find something that does work
Don't give up, but don't keep trying to do things the same way
So let's use another more modern example
Let's use the example of a middle-aged man who just got divorced and is feeling incredibly depressed
Now we are supposed to feel discouraged when things don't go well.
We're supposed to feel unmotivated when our life doesn't line up with our values.
We're supposed to have dreams and feel sad when we aren't living them.
Symptoms serve a purpose they're road signs that something needs to change. Now-
Let me take a step back. Sometimes depression is a completely physical issue. Not a problem in living
Sometimes it's caused by anemia a vitamin D deficiency
changes in light levels as in seasonal affective disorder a lack of exercise and a multitude of other physiological symptoms and
Right, now we aren't able to tell what causes each individual's depression
We can't know what causes your specific case. We just have to make a stab in the dark
Try new things until we hit upon the right thing for you
But looking for the function of emotions how they can be helpful in motivating value based action
Can help our approach to helping the people we care about. It could be the paradigm shift that leads to real solutions to problems
Instead of just coping with them
Check out my short course on 10 alternatives to medication to improve mental health
Also, make sure you're not judging yourself or your person and
Check out my supplemental resource from my 30 days course on clean pain versus dirty pain
Some pain is not caused by choices. It's just a beautiful part of being alive
Now sometimes the thing that's causing our depression isn't an external problem. It's not a failure or like a like a bridge or a
Disappointing experience like a divorce. It's actually the way we think about problems
so for example
If in response to every mistake I make I have a thought like "I am such a failure" or
"I'm no good"
Then I'm going to consistently be creating this perception in my mind's eye that my situation is hopeless that I'm irreparably broken.
So the problem isn't that I have some external
Problem that's not working for me. The problem is the way I'm thinking
Creates a belief that my situation is hopeless. So what's not working is my thinking pattern and
When we're depressed due to a thinking pattern the treatment is to explore "Is this thinking pattern working for me?"
Perhaps the way I'm thinking is not going to work
I need to change up my thinking and that's what cognitive behavioral therapy does
So like the bridge example, we need to try something new-
replace our distorted thinking with something more helpful acceptance a commitment therapy calls this creative hopelessness a
Loss of hope in our old ways of thinking that leads to the ability to create a new way of living
So for example, if instead of beating ourselves up, we respond to our mistakes with compassion
And love we can create a way of thinking that actually works from this perspective. The painful and uncomfortable
symptoms of depression
Can be functional, helping us slow down take a look at our lives and change course if needed.