I know a lot of you kids out there probably have
a lot of homework to do, so I'm going to make a video
to help you learn stuff and do good in school.
That way, you have more time to watch videos.
Today's subject is George Washington.
George Washington is often called
the father of our country.
That's because he didn't have any children of his own
and the Founding Fathers felt bad for him.
Hey, Mom.
Morning, sweetie.
Mmm. What smells so good?
I made a gorgeous egg white omelet
with mushrooms and spinach and freshly chopped tomatoes
from our backyard.
- Do you want one? - Sure.
Stove's right there.
But I thought you meant...
There's no more eggs.
Oh, right.
I can't make an omelette without eggs.
Yeah, I can't argue with that.
Guess I'll just suck on this tomato skin.
I already did.
Do you really have to shave your legs now?
I can't go to school with stubble.
Why didn't you shave your legs before we left for school?
I didn't know we had to leave 40 minutes early.
Well, it's a little awkward for me. Oh! Trina!
That hit my tongue.
[groaning]
Stop. Stop. Hold--
Your toe poked me in the eye!
- Trina. - Hey, would you--
Stop it!
If you don't want me to shave my legs...
you do it.
No.
Then give it back and I'll do it.
[honking]
Keep your eyes on the road. I'll do it.
Okay, uh, watch out for that sore.
[sighing]
This could not get worse.
And when you're done with that leg, just, uh, here.
Okay.
Can you get my... pit? Alright.
[groaning]
It got worse.
See, it's just a high school.
Uh, this is not just a high school.
These kids are all artsy and creative and talented,
and I'm just... normal.
It's okay. There's nothing wrong with being average.
Anyway, you're not alone. I got your back.
- Okay. - Trina.
Eric Paulson got his hair straightened.
Shut up! Oh, my God!
I'm alone.
Hey, um, can you tell me--
Oh, my God. You're Tori, right?
- Uh-huh. - You were so awesome
in the big showcase.
- Aw, thanks. - My name's Cat.
- Like the animal. - What's that supposed to mean?
Nothing. I- I love cats.
Me too. They're so cute.
All right, weirdos, take your seats.
Wait. Where's Pauney?
Where's who?
Pauney. One of your students.
She sits in the back with you guys, right?
I don't know anybody named Pauney.
Oh, come on. She's one of you.
Uh, Tori, maybe you should sit down and rest.
There's no Pauney in this class.
But... But she told me-
Oh, okay, well, if there is no Pauney,
then how do I have Pauney's backpack? Hmm? Hmm?
What's in Pauney's backpack?
I don't know, Pauney stuff.
An... ear of corn.
A... Klingon dictionary.
And... a doll.
That's dressed exactly like me.
I'm Talking Tori and I'm evil.
What?
Why would you buy that doll?
And where do I get one?
If I throw a punch at cat, like this...
[gasping]
It's easy to see that my fist didn't connect with her face.
Thank you.
But if we stage it from a different angle...
then... like I showed you...
Sound effect ready?
All set.
To the audience or camera, it will look like this.
[gasping]
I'm okay, everyone.
Uh, let me have a turkey sandwich
on whole wheat with lettuce, tomato
and a little light mayo.
All I got some burritos.
You know what? I'll have a burrito.
One burrito!
What's shakin', bacon?
Oh, they don't have bacon.
Just burritos.
Ooh. Well, I'll take a burrito.
One burrito!
Who's he yelling to? He's in there by himself.
Get away, stupid bees.
Don't even mention bees in front of me.
Why are you allergic?
I don't know. I've never been stung by bee.
Not once in my whole life.
And why are you so upset about that?
Cause I'm offended.
I guess bees don't think I'm good enough for stinging.
I can stick you with a safety pin.
Nah, it wouldn't be the same.
Okay, here you go.
Turkey sandwich on wheat, lettuce, tomato, light mayo.
I thought you said you only had burritos.
What are you, a lawyer?
Burrito for you.
Thanks, man.
Oh. What is with the bees today? They're, like, all over me.
Must be nice.
Hey, sit.
- Thanks. - Cool.
I don't want them sitting here.
You know, it's great that you're so open
with your bitterness.
She's just grouchy cause she got stung by a bee.
See that? Everybody but me. Come on, bees,
what's a guy gotta do to get stung?
[music playing]
Cat. Cat.
Oh, hey.
Um, I don't know if you have a... mm...
[laughing]
Did you- Did you hear what my giraffe just said?
[laughing] He's so inappropriate.
[laughing]
I, um... I don't know if maybe, you know...
if you want to go to the prom with me?
Would ya?
Ooh. Robbie, I'd love to go to the prom with you,
but... another boy already asked me.
Really? Who?
Tug.
Tug?
Yeah, he goes to Burbank High. He's a football player.
You've never mentioned Tug before.
I know. I just met him at the mall.
He works at Bed, Bath and Yonder.
Thanks for asking me, though.
Thanks for... responding.
Well, you'd better look again.
Because there's been a murder.
[gasping] Murder? Where?
Right here.
On this underwater submarine.
I better wake up the president.
[glass shattering, laughing]
Get me the White House.
[laughing]
Oh, my God, that's insane.
Excuse me?
Oh, hey.
Oh, uh, we were just watching a video.
Yeah, these two horses are--
Put your phones away.
We are rehearsing a play.
- Right. - Our bad.
Hey, send me the link to that video.
Stop that!
Okay, let's go from your line.
[phone chiming]
Jade?
What's up?
Hey, what's up, little co-worker?
Just ready to get to it.
Cool. Mr. Mooney, Tori's here.
Just a minute.
Mm. What are these?
- Coconut raisins. - Mm.
And these?
Peanut butter chips.
Happy tongue.
What's this, uh, white stuff?
That's what we use to clean the counter.
[coughing]
Well, hello.
[screaming]
What's she doing?
Uh, she ate some counter cleanser.
Now she's spitting it out.
[coughing]
Nice to meet you.
In the future, I'd appreciate it
if you wouldn't choke or gag in front of the customers.
It's her first time... eating cleanser.
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eh ♪
♪ My best friend's brother Is the one for me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eh ♪
♪ A punk rock drummer And he's six-foot-three ♪
♪ I don't want to But I want to ♪
♪ I just can't get him Outta my mind and... ♪
[raining]
Oh.
[raining]
It's raining.
I know.
Should we stop?
Or you wanna keep goin'?
Play!
Don't stop!
Never stop!
Let's hear it!
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eh ♪
♪ My best friend's brother Is the one for me ♪
♪ B-F-B (oh) ♪
♪ B-F-B (hey) ♪
♪ My best friend's brother ♪
♪ My best friend's brother (what?) ♪
♪ I try to think That I might be his type ♪
'Cause when You're not around
♪ He's not acting too shy ♪
♪ Sometimes I feel Like he might make a move ♪
♪ Is this all in my head? I don't know what to do ♪
♪ I know it's strange ♪
♪ I don't know What he's thinkin' ♪
♪ But is it wrong If I see him next weekend? ♪
♪ I really hope I can get him alone ♪
♪ I just don't Don't want her to know ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eh ♪
♪ My best friend's brother Is the one for me ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eh ♪
♪ A punk rock drummer And he's six-foot three ♪
♪ I don't want to But I want to ♪
♪ I just can't get him Outta my mind ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eh ♪
♪ My best friend's brother Is the one for me ♪
♪ B-F-B B-F-B ♪
♪ My best friend's brother My best friend's brother ♪
♪ B-F-B B-F-B ♪
♪ My best friend's brother My best friend's brother ♪
[cheering]