Hello little buns, welcome back to my home!
It has been eight months on estrogen, which is a very long time,
that is well over half the year at this point
which is very thrilling, and I have, as usual, a lot to tell you
on my monthly update on my transition, and my hormones, all that good stuff.
*shifts into accent* So let's just get started, let's talk about it, let's go!
First things first would be, hormones! What's goin' on with those?
Y'know, what's up with your titties, what's up with your butt, what's up with that stuff -- y'know, what's up?
And, *sighs*, truthfully I thought my breast development had pretty much plateaued, until this morning
Umm...where my-my breasticles, my breasteses, they felt (what is this) felt very tendah?
Alright they felt very soff?
Tendah?
And I noticed that they had a different shape to them, starting to fill out, so that was good
Eight months in, I still don't have a visible lift, but it's definitely like a protruding chest-part, okay?
It's definitely happening.
My butt has been progressing nicely! I guess you could say fat redistribution is doing well
There's still certain parts of my body that I wish would widen a little bit more, or fill out rounder
That could be that maybe I'm not exercising enough
which would make sense 'cause I'm literally not exercising at all
But I would just like the fat to go there without me having to lose the fat
Y'know, I'm worried that if I exercise I will bulk up
and not round out. And I don't want that.
So...it's a struggle.
My skin's getting better.
My facial hair, I have like SO MANY bald spots now from the laser hair removal
Some of them are large, like right here
I have a huuuge bald spot, and it's so soft! And I never have to shave it, and it just feels so good...
But I mean there's still a lot happening especially right here, but it's progressing nicely
I go back in a week, or less than a week?
I'm not sure yet, but I'm going back very soon to have my fifth or sixth laser hair removal appointment
I'm not sure which
If anything, they've been really increasing my pain tolerance
but I know they're working the way they're supposed to as well, so it's good
When I went back to the doctor, uh gosh, a few days ago
Maybe a week ago? He showed me the, uh they take blood tests every once in a while
to y'know measure my hormone levels
and he showed me the hormone level chart, I guess
and my testosterone pretty much, it spiked in the beginning
because that's kinda how it works, it's like when you start taking anti-androgens
or testosterone blockers, it kinda spikes because your body has the testosterone but nowhere to put it
and after a while, it plummets, right, so
my testosterone level spiked in the beginning and it's gone way down now
and my estrogen level is just a nice straight-up line
and he said basically, when it plateaus
then he will increase the dosage of my medication
but it has not yet plateaued at 8 months in, so that's good I guess?
I really wanted to get a higher dosage because I felt like
it would increase the rate at which things are changing
but I don't know if that's even true
because seeing the chart, it really is very consistent
and my dosage was already increased once and there was no change in the...
fff...speed of changes
So...I don't really know.
For the record I am still taking 100mg of spironolactone a day
and 2mg of estradiol estrace -- estrogen -- a day
so it's been pretty much the same dosage since 2 months ago i think?
Since January
And that's fine, I don't care
Does it look like I give a shit? I don't care.
In terms of personal development, dysphoria still sucks
but when it's not attacking me I do feel like I feel better
I feel a lot more at home in my body
Like even when I'm not wearing makeup, when I don't have my hair done
and I just have shaved and I'm sitting around my house I feel cute and feminine.
And that is good! It makes me feel good, y'know?
Makes me feel at home in my home. As you should.
Last but not least I want to talk about my GoFundMe campaign for my facial feminization surgery
and when I'm getting that done and everything
Based on a sponsorship that I did in July
when I get paid from that, I will likely have enough money to do my FFS.
In combination of course with the immense amount of donations that have been given to me
It's something like 1800 people have donated, that's incredible
Some of you have donated a lot of money, and I appreciate that so much
and that means the world to me
and I really hope you understand
how much...love that makes me feel.
From you and to you.
And I think it's pretty cool that we get to have such a physical connection that way
Y'know, like you actually have physically made something happen for me
And that...is huge.
And I really appreciate it, and I'm so excited.
So like I said based on when the sponsorship stuff goes through I will likely have enough money
to get this done this year in the fall or winter
The only reason it wouldn't happen this fall or winter
is if there's not enough space with their booking
So it will be very soon though. It will be within the next half year probably.
Which is so crazy. And I can't believe it.
And I'm so excited. *laughs*
One last thing I actually forgot to note was that
my calves have shrunk a little bit
Like normally they have been very muscular and they still are muscular
but they're not as big as they used to be and that's interesting to me
I don't think it's a fat redistribution thing
because they weren't really -- it wasn't really fat it was always solid hard muscle
I think it's just the muscle has changed the way it's sitting, I don't know
but my calves are definitely a little more "slender" and "feminine"
being so binary right now
As far as that goes. And that's kind of nice.
It's kinda nice. Y'know? It's kinda cool.
And that is everything that I wanted to say
and that I have to share with you this time
but I reeeally really really appreciate all of your support
and I cannot believe how far I've come in 8 months
this is incredible
Really quickly I want to show you, actually
a clip of my first time getting t-blockers
and my first time getting estrogen.
I want to show you that really quickly to show you the comparison of how far we've actually come
So here you go!
Hi everybody, it's Stef
I have some super exciting
Well it's exciting for me, I mean you're probably not as excited
but I just have to share something with you, OK?
I finally got my t-blockers as most people call them
It's actually called...spironolactone. Spironolactone.
Spiro. People call it spiro.
Hi everybody, it's Stef. Welcome back. To my room.
Where we like to talk about drugs. And our body.
So welcome. It's good times. Good times to be had here. I
It's actually pretty exciting though, because I am on my estrogen, estrace
I've been on it actually for 2 weeks now
I haven't updated you in a while regarding the chemical component to my transition
but I guess it's just because I've been switching things around a little bit
Not necessarily with my medicine
but just...in my life.
Until next time, I love you sososo much, thank you so much oh my gosh~
You are so powerful. You are an item level 900, level 110 frost death knight DPS kicking ass on the charts
You are the best. I love you~ omigosh~
so powerful~ so cool~
I love you so much byeee!!~~ *mwah*
OW!! I literally just smacked myself in the face :(