LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT THIS, TOO.
YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUESTS FROM "PARKS AND RECREATION" AND "WILL
& GRACE."
THEY KNOW EACH OTHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.
PLEASE WELCOME NICK OFFERMAN AND MEGAN MULLALLY!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS ) >> Stephen: NICE.
NICE.
WHAT AN HONOR TO HAVE-- WE DON'T ALWAYS HAVE POWER COUPLES ON.
YEAH.
>> OH.
ARE WE-- I DIDN'T KNOW WE FELL INTO THAT CATEGORY.
>> Stephen: YOU PULLED THIS ROOM TO THEIR FEET JUST NOW.
>> OH!
>> Stephen: THEY'RE HAPPY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> IT'S MUTUAL.
>> Stephen: NICK, I JUST WANT TO POINT OUT RIGHT OVER THERE,
WE HAVE THE TABLE YOU MADE FOR ME.
>> IT'S QUITE BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S HOLDING UP.
>> Stephen: AND WE GOT THE COASTERS THAT YOU MADE FOR ME
THE LAST TIME.
>> AND I MADE THIS MUG.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
DOES HE-- IS IT NICE HAVING THE HANDY MAN AROUND.
>> CAN I SEE ONE OF THOSE REAL QUICK?
>> Stephen: SURE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
YES.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I APOLOGIZE.
I APOLOGIZE.
WE'RE NOT ANIMALS.
IS IT NICE HAVING A HANDY MAN WHO MAKES THINGS.
HAS HE MADE YOU, LIKE, ANYTHING SPECIAL?
>> UM, HE'S VERY GOOD WITH HIS HANDS...
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: AND HOW IS HE WITH
HIS WOOD?
( LAUGHTER ) >> EXCELLENT.
>> Stephen: EXCELLENT.
HAS HE CRAFTED YOU ANYTHING NICE?
LIKE IS IT SORT OF LIKE A KID MAKING A MACARONI FRAME FOR HIS
MOM.
>> HE'S MADE ME MANY MACARONI FRAMES WHICH COME IN HANDY.
HE HAS MADE ME A LOT OF THINGS.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, THE BOX THAT THE ENGAGEMENT RING WAS IN
WHEN HE PROPOSED TO ME WAS HANDCASHED AND IT WAS
HEART-SHAPED IN KIND OF 3D, AND I OPENED IT UP AND THERE WAS THE
RING.
PRETTY GOOD.
>> Stephen: PRETTY SEXY.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DID YOU KNOW HE MADE IT?
DID HE SAY, "I MADE THIS?" >> WELL, YEAH, I ASSUMED.
>> Stephen: DID YOU MAKE IT?
>> I DID MAKE IT.
>> Stephen: I JUST WANTED TO CONFIRM.
I JUST WANTED TO CONFIRM.
>> THAT WOULD BE CRAZY IF IT FINALLY CAME OUT THAT HE DID NOT
MAKE IT.
>> Stephen: HE JUST WENT TO JARED.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: YOU-- YOU HAVE A NEW PROJECT GOING ON.
YOU HAVE A NEW WOOD PROJECT GOING ON OVER THERE.
BESIDES THE TABLE, YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR POCKET.
>> WE DO, THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: I ASSUME IT'S NOT A MURDER WEAPON.
>>Y BROUGHT YOU A COUPLE OF THESE --
>> Stephen: WHAT-- >> THEY'RE THE OFFERMAN WOOD
SHOP MOTHER'S AND FATHER'S DAY CARD.
IT'S ABOUT AN EIGHTH INCH, MAYBE 5/64 OF AMERICAN CHERRY.
AND WE MAKE THEM ON AMERICAN CHERRY.
IT'S THE MOST CHARISMATIC OF THE DOMESTIC HARDWOODS.
AND THE CLOSEST TO RED, THE COLOR OF LOVE.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: THAT'S REALLY NICE.
NOW WHERE CAN PEOPLE GET THESE?
>> OFFERMANWOODSHOP.COM.
YOU CAN GET TABLES AND COASTERS AND CARDS.
>> Stephen: MAO MOTHER'S DAY IS THIS SUNDAY.
>> INDEED.
>> Stephen: SO IS THERE TIME TO GET THIS FOR MOTHER'S DAY?
DO YOU DO EXPRESS SHIPPING?
>> I IMAGINE IF YOU ORDER RIGHT NOW.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: IT WON'T GET THERE
IN TIME.
>> WE CAN GUARANTEE IT BY NEXT WEDNESDAY.
>> Stephen: GOOD.
AND YOU'LL FIND OUT HOW MUCH YOUR MOTHER ACTUALLY LOVES YOU
BY SENDING A CARD LATE.
YOU GUYS ARE #RELATIONSHIP GOALS.
YOU ARE VERY OPEN ABOUT YOUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND YOUR
SEXUAL LOVE FOR EACH OTHER.
AND YOU HAVE A SHOW YOU'RE LAUNCHING AGAIN THIS SUMMER.
IT'S CALLED "SUMMER OF 69: NO APOSTROPHE."
OKAY.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> THINK ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: NOW, HOW-- HOW-- HOW SEXY DOES THE SHOW GET?
>> WELL, IF YOU LIKE LIVE SEX ACTS...
>> Stephen: I LIVE IN NEW YORK.
( LAUGHTER ) DO YOU GUYS HAVE A-- DO YOU HAVE
A POWER COUPLE NAME?
YOU ARE A CELEBRITY POWER COUPLE AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE ONE-- YOU
HAVE TO HAVE A BRANGELINA.
FILLIAM H.MUST HAVEMAN.
>> WE WANT ONE.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A COUPLE OF OPTIONS.
SEE IF THIS WORKS OUT.
HOW DID YOU GUYS MEET, BY THE WAY?
>> WE MET DOING A PLAY IN THE YEAR 2000.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU MET IN THE FUTURE, BUT IT WAS 17
YEARS AGO.
I REALIZED THAT-- SO WHAT WAS THE PLAY?
WHAT WAS THE PLAY?
WERE YOU IMMEDIATELY ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER?
>> NO.
WE MET-- I WAS-- IT WAS AFTER THE SECOND SEASON OF "WILL &
GRACE."
>> Stephen: SO YOU WERE FAIMS AT THIS POINT.
YOU'RE FAMOUS.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
BUT HE WAS LIVING-- HE WAS SLEEPING ON A COUCH IN SOMEONE'S
BASEMENT, SO GREAT CATCH.
( LAUGHTER ) AND WE BOTH WERE IN THE PLAY.
AND WE WERE KIND OF, LIKE, SCREWING AROUND DOING BITS
BETWEEN SCENES.
>> AND STARTED THINKING THAT HE WAS REALLY FUNNY, AND WE WERE
BECOMING FRIENDS.
AND THEN ONE DAY I THOUGHT, WAIT A MINUTE.
IS HE SEXY?
AND-- ( LAUGHTER )
I -- >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU VERIFY
THAT?
>> YEAH.
I'M STILL WORKING ON IT.
( LAUGHTER ) NOT REALLY.
>> I CAN TAKE IT?
>> HE'S VERY SEXY.
SO THEN, I DIDN'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITH ANYBODY, BUT HE
DID.
>> Stephen: ESPECIALLY SOMEBODY YOU WORK WITH.
>> ESPECIALLY SOMEBODY I WAS WORKING WITH.
BUT HE WAS VERY, VERY PERSISTENT.
HE HAS A GREAT WORK ETHIC.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: AND HE WAS WORKING
IT.
>> AND HE WAS WORKIN IT.
AND IT PAID OFF.
>> I PLIED MY TROAGHT.
>> Stephen: OH, YOU PLIED YOUR TROAGHT.
I REALLY DO NEED A GLOSSARY FOR THIS INTERVIEW.
II WANT TO TAKE THE S.A.T.s RIGHT AFTER THIS CONVERSATION.
IN THE SHOW YOU REVEAL A LOT OF PERSONAL THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF.
ANY PARTICULAR PERSONAL STORIES THAT YOU COULD SHARE WITH THE
AUDIENCE THEY COULD TELL WITHOUT BLEEPG ON THE SHOW?
>> WELL, YOU COULD-- I MEAN, I KNOW YOU CAN SAY THIS WORD ON
TELEVISION, BUT I WROTE A SONG IN THE SHOW WHERE WE REVEAL A
LOT OF TRIVIA ABOUT OURSELVES THAT NOBODY KNOWS.
AND ONE OF THE THINGS IS THAT NICK ONCE HAD POISON IVY ON
HIS-- POISON OAK ON HIS PENIS.
SO...
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
AND, NICK, HOW DID THAT COME ABOUT?
>> WELL...
>> Stephen: THEREBY HANGS A TALE.
>> FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK.
>> Stephen: WE'LL FIND OUT.
>> I-- I LIKE WALKING AND HIKING AND RUNNING IN THE WOODS.
AND THERE WAS A TRAIL...
( LAUGHTER ) AND THERE WAS A BEAUTIFUL POISON
OAK TREE WITH-- WITH AN ORIFICE RIGHT A COUPLE OF FEET OFF THE
GROUND.
I-- I MUST HAVE BRUSHED AGAINST SOME POISON OAK AND
INADVERTENTLY GOT THE OIL IN MY HANDS AND TOOK A LEAK IN THE
WOODS.
>> Stephen: AND THERE'S A SONG ABOUT THIS.
THERE'S A SONG.
>> IT'S MUCH BETTER IN "G."
>> YEAH.
BUT THE-- THE END PIECE TO THIS TALE IS THAT JUST TWO-- NOT TWO
MONTHS AGO, WE WERE IN THE SAME PLACE, AND HE TOOK A HIKE AGAIN
ON THE SAME TRAIL.
POISON OAK.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: EVERYWHERE?
>> I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT.
>> HE'S VERY CONSISTENT.
>> Stephen: KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTSZ, MY FRIEND.
>> I KEPT IT BELOW MIDTHIGH THIS TIME.
>> YEAH, JUST BARELY.
>> Stephen: WELL, GUYS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
THANK YOU, AGAIN FOR THE WOOD PRODUCTS.
>> MY PLEASURE.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S OUR CELEBRITY NAME.
>> Stephen: WISCONSI WHAT'S YOUR CELEBRITY NAME?
OH, (BLEEP) I DIDN'T DO THAT.
WE HAVE TWOINGS ONS FOR YOU.
TWO OPTIONS.
WE HAVE NEGAN AWFULMAN.
AGAIN, IT'S A PORTMENTO.
OR McMULIFEMAN.
I THINK IT'S McMULLIFERMAN "SUMMER OF 69: NO APOSTROPHE"
PREMIERES NEXT FRIDAY ON EPIX.
MEGAN MULLALLY AND NICK OFFERMAN.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON.