Okay, so
as Dennis said, I just
interrupted a meditation retreat down at our retreat centre, Jhana Grove,
to come and give this talk this evening.
The retreat finishes tomorrow evening
so obviously my mind has been full of talks on meditation
and so I thought I'd drag one of those talks out
and recycle it today. Recycling is all the rage.
But not just to recycle it, because it's an interesting aspect of how
not just to meditate
but just how to let go of difficulties in your life. This is the talk on the four
ways of letting go.
This is straight from the Buddha's teaching, the first teaching of the Buddha,
it's part of that teaching,
but also it's the case that number one, no matter whether you meditate or you don't meditate,
whether you're a Buddhist, a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu or whatever,
each one of us has from time to time to learn how to let go.
Because sometimes, that not being able to let go, carrying around
the bad memories of the past, the bad feelings of the present, the fears of the future,
not being able to let them go,
causes us so much pain and suffering, and not just us pain and suffering,
it causes all the people who have to put up with us
a lot a pain and suffering. So at the very least for the compassion of your family
and the people you work with,
please train your mind to be able to let go, to be peaceful and happy.
So that's one of the reasons that I decided to be happy,
out of compassion for all the people who have to put up with me.
That's a very good reason.
So
you learn
something in Buddhism called how to let go.
By learning how to let go, it doesn't mean you let go all the time and become
a monk or a nun, even if you do become a monk or a nun, you still have to work hard,
you have to keep your responsibilities,
you can't just let go all
the time. But it's a very beautiful
part of your repertoire, that you know at any time, in any situation, you've got
something to do which most of the other people can't do.
You just let things go
and let things be.
Simple things...
it always surprises me,
Why it is?...
that someone hurts you,
they cheat you,
they let you down,
they say terrible things about you,
big time.
Why can't you just let it go?
Because if you don't let it go, that person
continues to hurt you,
continues to harm you.
It's a really weird thing, isn't it?
They've hurt you once
and because you attach to it and carry it around
they hurt you again
and again
and again and again.
Every time you think of it
they're hurting you one more time.
When you look at it that way, it's totally unreasonable, illogical,
one of most foolish things you could ever do,
is to get angry at someone who hurt you
'cause when they hurt you
and you get angry,
they're hurting you twice over.
So someone hurts you,
can't do anything about it, let it go,
it's gone.
You let it go and they can only ever hurt you
once
and then you let it go, so easy
to do
when you realize how you let these things go.
Not only that,
sometimes we have all these fears of the future. I don't know some of you,
probably,
if you haven't yet, one day you go to doctor and they say you've got breast
cancer,
you've got prostate cancer,
you've got lung cancer,
you've got some sort of cancer.
There's a whole variety of cancers now, just like the whole variety of muesli, when I was young
you could only get one brand,
so this is the choice you have these days.
So... when you have any of these
diseases
what do you do?
You worry yourself sick.
You're already sick enough
and now you worry yourself sick even further. This is a totally daft and stupid thing to do.
So why can't you
let go of the future,
enjoy this moment.
As I said, I actually never said that this evening, it's strange I used to say
this every week.
In meditation
where is your future made?
When is the only time you can do anything about your future?
Right now,
this is the place
your future, peace, health and happiness is being constructed.
So every time you worry about your future... Uuuh, what's going to happen to me?
I'm going to die.
You're actually neglecting the place you could do something,
which is right now.
So if you can just make peace, be kind, be gentle, if you can let go of the future and the past
and just be now,
you're gonna be a very healthy, happy, successful person.
People sort of do bad things to you, just let it go.
Why should I allow those people to control my happiness?
Or as one of my favorite sayings goes...
You know you get these calendars, used to get the calendars, we've run out of them...
every year the Buddhist Society makes a calendar
and they try and put some of Ajahn Brahm's sayings on that calendar,
and the one saying I like the most which never gets on that calendar
is
this one
Why seek for revenge?...
because you know that kamma will get the bastards anyway.
I don't know why that never gets on that calendar.
It's a good one, isn't it? You don't have to do anything, kamma will sort it out,
leave it alone, you let it go.
The trouble is we all know it's a reasonable thing to let it go, it makes a lot of
sense
but you
can't do it.
Which is why we teach the four ways of letting go.
Instead of saying let go, how do you let go? Tell me how to let go.
Now the Buddha
is going to tell you how to let go, with the four ways of letting go.
The first way of letting go,
it was starting off with
an old experience with my teacher Ajahn Chah, a long time ago,
we were walking back from alms round and a great teacher, they always find an
opportunity
to, sort of
you know, give you some teaching,
but not these teachings with so many words and big concepts
just simple down-to-earth teachings which once you hear, you think
"Crikey, that's really good,"
and you remember it,
and it changes much of your life.
What he did on this occasion walking back, he picked up this stick, there's forest all over
the place,
picked up a stick, turned around and says
"Brahmavamso, is this heavy?"
Is this heavy?
[throws stick away] Not now.
I was very careful, I didn't throw that too far, wonder what it's gonna bust.
It's only heavy
when you hold it.
But if you let it go
it's got no weight at all.
Profound,
simple,
and unforgettable.
So what heavy things have you got in your life right now?
Job, cancer,
relationship problems,
money problems.
Is that heavy?
It's only heavy when you hold it.
So why on earth can't we let it go? Why can't we throw it away?
At the retreat
I told all those people
who are still worried about their family,
worried about their job,
to actually, to get a stick
in the forest, in Jhana Grove
and either get a pen or carve
"my family" on the stick,
look at that stick, that's my family,
and throw it as far as you possibly can.
So you're free for nine days.
You can change that, you can put "my job"
you can put, you know, "my husband," "my wife,"
"my kids,"
"my life." Throw it away.
Because what that does,
it gives you
an understanding, that the first way of letting go is chucking things out.
Because you live such complicated lives,
you have so many things in your basket
and that means
you can not travel lightly
on the journey of life. Imagine
a big backpack. You see all these backpackers in Perth...
I used to go backpacking, my backpack was really small, these days they have huge
backpacks.
Just wonder what they got in there. What do you actually need in there?
Probably got their computer,
we didn't have computers in those days, just go to a box there's a phone, if you wanna read that
after that you have your own phone. But you were very light
in those days.
They get big backpacks,
imagine you've got a big backpack on
and it's really heavy, it's full of all these, not just
clothes, but rocks,
heavy granite rocks and you
walk through life with this and you just don't know how to take it off and put it
down,
you're gonna get very tired,
you're gonna get very sick,
and you're gonna have no happiness at all, you're gonna be so grumpy 'cause every
moment of your life you're exhausted.
Do you feel exhausted,
in your mind?
Why?
Because you've been carrying too many things
in the backpack
around your mind.
So we actually look in that backpack. What can I throw away?
This is the first way of letting go.
See what you can jettison, see what you can throw away.
It's amazing, you can throw away many many more things
then you could imagine
and
nothing goes wrong.
If you throw away all this concern about your future and past
actually nothing goes wrong.
That's the first big stone to
get it out of your backpack and throw away.
I don't know about your history,
has it been a good history
or a bad history?
I haven't got a clue, 'cause I threw my stone out a long time ago.
So you're free of your past.
The past is a prison,
it's a cell with an open door,
you can walk out at any time you like.
But a lot of times,
just like people who have been in prison a long time,
they're just a bit afraid of leaving,
they've been used to that prison cell,
so much so
it's hard
to walk out.
But once they have the courage to let go of the past,
just like the prisoner walking out for the first time. Freedom!
Ahhh...
I feel so good and so happy,
this big burden
this big pain, this big rock,
I've let go of...
isn't that
wonderful.
So see if you can look at your past,
even get a stick in the forest,
write "my past" on it
and throw it as far... or even better get a rock,
spray paint "past" on it and throw it in the river
and let it sink
with no trace left behind.
And then
imagine how free you feel.
You can do this, you can let go of these things.
But when we don't have the courage to let go, the first way of letting go,
with throwing things away,
is have someone convince you it can be done
and it's good to do.
A lot of times we think we shouldn't,
a lot of times we think we can learn from the past, you don't learn from the past, you actually
get a lot of pain from the past. You learn much more from letting go of the past
than you do from keeping the past.
So we just allow it to disappear and
as for the future... What might happen next?
At the retreat people were telling me
about 2012
when the world is going to end. The tectonic plates are gonna shift,
there's gonna be tsunamis, there's gonna be earthquakes.
So forget about having a mortgage, you don't have to pay it off in another two years.
Of course it's not gonna end in two years' time or whatever it is.
You don't think about that. In fact I saw in Indonesia, people were talking about it
even in Indonesia,
in the islands over there.
I said, "Look, I volunteer my monastery and the whole Buddhist Society of Western Australia
with all its assets, against your house.
I'll bet
if the world ends you get our monastery
and the Buddhist Society of Western Australia's assets.
If it doesn't end we get your house."
No one took me up on it.
Of course you don't, that's not much of a deal.
But
people are so afraid of the future.
One thing I can guarantee you about your future...
You know I can read futures
just like Ajahn Chah used to do,
I can predict,
and I predict the future of Australia,
and I tell you I won't be wrong,
the future of Australia
is uncertain.
Now that's not just a joke,
that actually shows you that you cannot know what's going to happen next.
Anytime in your life
you don't know what's going to happen. Your life has been so surprising,
it's gone in directions you could never have predicted, each one of you.
That's just the uncertainty of our life, so let go of the future, throw it away.
So what we're doing
is we're letting go by throwing things out, see what we can jettison, see what we
don't really need on our journey.
Then next thing you can do is
throw away this
complaining mind.
Look...
dogs are barking again,
how many times do they bark,
should we do something about these dogs?
You can't.
You know, that's what dogs do,
they bark,
that's their nature,
so throw away all this complaining.
I'm finished now, you can stop barking, dogs.
Same as your husband,
sometimes you want to throw your husband away,
that's what husbands are like, that's what they do, that's what wives do, that's what
kids do.
I was on these aircraft, many aircraft, flying all over Indonesia
and they always have these kids.
BAH BAH BAH... all the time in the aircraft.
Sometimes I think, can we not open the door and throw them out? But I can't do that
'cause I'm a compassionate monk.
But instead of throwing the baby out, what you do is you throw your complaining
out the window, stop complaining, let go of that.
So I look at my mind, and you got this what we call fault-finding, complaining mind,
you know what that type of mind is.
That fault-finding, complaining mind can drive you nuts.
There's always something wrong.
Buddhist Society...
there's always something wrong with this place.
Like today we didn't have the right tea
and that's just not good enough.
If it's not the right tea next week Dennis Sheppard, president, I'm not coming ever
again.
No, of course you don't think like that, because that's just the complaining
negative mind
and it doesn't get you anywhere. Even if you do get the right tea, someone
will drink it before I get to it, so who cares.
So the point is
just let go of your complaining mind,
throw it out, has that ever got you anywhere?
You look at that complaining mind, it just drives you nuts and makes you a really
terrible person to live with. So if nothing else, you can say I don't
want this,
literally
throw it away.
It's as easy to do as that,
just letting go of the negativity.
Letting go of all this stupid thinking we do,
not only the negative thinking, but even some of the positive thinking.
'Cause we think far too much
and that stops us getting any peace in life. Whenever you're thinking about life
you can't enjoy life.
You're just listening to the commentary.
You're reading a book about life,
the thoughts and ideas in your mind,
you're not really
enjoying the real thing.
That's why there's this old simile, it's an old meditation story
of Lao Tzu.
Every evening he would go on a walk
and he'd choose one of his disciples,
only one could go on a walk with the great master.
There was a golden rule,
if you went on a walk with the great Taoist master
you have to be quiet,
you weren't allowed to speak, not even one word.
One day this young man was going on a walk with the master
and they got to a ridge in mountains at sunset and it was one of these amazing gorgeous
sunsets
and the young man couldn't help himself but say,
"Wow, what a beautiful sunset."
He broke the rule.
Lao Tzu turned around, went back to the monastery,
would never allow that young man to go on a walk ever again.
The young man's friend pleaded for him, said "Look, it was only one sentence,
give him a break, cut him some slack
what's the big deal anyway, of keeping silent?"
And that's when the master said this very profound
explanation.
He said,
"When that young man
said
'what a beautiful sunset,'
he wasn't watching the sunset anymore,
he was only watching the words,
he wasn't watching the sunset,
he was only watching the words."
Now that's actually very deep.
Every time you think
"what a beautiful sunset," you're not watching anymore,
you're watching the words.
And so much of us
we just watch words, that's all our life is, just words,
it's divorced from real life.
We don't feel, we don't see, we don't hear,
we just live
in what we think we hear,
what we think we see,
what we think we know.
It's a great thing to be able to throw out all that thinking
and you get a peaceful life at last.
You don't have to do this all the time,
just every now and again,
learn how to throw it out.
I told a story a long time ago
about my mother's mantel shelf.
She's an English woman, well she's in a home now, she's very old, but
in her house
like many English people's house they had a fireplace, and above the fireplace they have a
mantel shelf
and on that mantel shelf they keep the knick-knacks, the mementos, the photographs
and all the things which
which bring back happy memories.
And so that one day
I had just been in Australia for a few years and I went to visit my mother, and so
I brought her a gift, and what sort of gift do you bring?
Someone gave me a stuffed kangaroo,
you know a little fluffy toy, really cute.
So I brought that back and gave it to my mother, and she liked it very much, and she put it
on her mantel shelf.
Next time I went over there someone managed to get me a
koala
and so I took that back, and she said "Oh, it's so beautiful, everytime I see this I can
remember you in Australia."
So she put it on her mantel shelf next to the kangaroo.
The next time I managed to get a kookaburra, the time afterwards a platypus,
and the fifth time I went, I managed to get a wombat.
The trouble was the wombat was so big, she tried to put it on the mantel shelf
and all the other ones fell off.
She spent about an hour trying to balance it on her shelf
and everything else fell off.
I said, "Why don't you throw those other things away?"
She said, "Noooo, these are nice,
they remind me of you." You had so much rubbish on that shelf
and I said, "Mother,
this is like the person, they get one more thing in their head, they have a nervous
breakdown, your mantel shelf's having a nervous breakdown."
That's what happens, we collect so many thoughts and so much stuff.
So if that was my mantel shelf,
everytime, if I got a kangaroo, I just put that on, everything else would be clear.
The next time someone gave me something else, I'd throw that one away and get
something new.
So one thing at a time
in your head.
And then your mantel shelf
inside your brain
never, ever
has a nervous breakdown.
That's what I always do, I have all these jobs which I'm supposed to do,
and I've just been on this teaching tour of Indonesia, all over the place,
and I'm also spiritual director of the Buddhist Society of Western Australia, abbot of Bodhinyana
Monastery, look after the Nun's Monastery at Dhammasara, spiritual adviser of
the Buddhist Society of
South Australia, spiritual advisor or patron or whatever of the Buddhist Society of Victoria,
the director of Wat Buddha Dhamma in Sydney, spiritual patron of Bodhikusuma
Meditation Centre, director of Brahm Education Centre in Singapore,
spiritual patron of Buddhist Fellowship in Singapore. What else am I doing?
Oh yes, vice chairman of the Australian Sangha Association.
Few other things, I've missed out a few, what is it? I forget now,
anyway, I got all these jobs,
but only do one at a time.
So when I'm sort of
here in this building
I just put
Buddhist Society of Western Australia on my mantel shelf
and that's all I am.
And as soon as I leave, I throw that away
and then I'm just teacher at Jhana Grove Meditation Retreat Centre,
and that's the only thing on my mantel shelf.
And as soon as I leave
that and go back to Bodhinayana Monastery, I throw that away and now I'm abbot of Bodhinyana
Monastery.
I just put one thing on my mantel shelf at a time,
that's why you're sane and peaceful and happy.
So
throw things away
and only keep one thing,
the present moment, what's happening now.
That becomes the first way of letting go,
learning
to throw things out.
And stop keeping so much,
especially don't keep the past or the future.
Second way of letting go
is just
learning what freedom truly is.
And this particular story is an anecdote
when one of our monks,
when I was too busy doing all these other things, we used to go teaching in prisons,
but another monk started teaching in prison.
When he started teaching in prison,
this was in Casuarina Prison,
at one of the top-security jails.
After a while the prisoners
there said "Can you stay back a bit longer, we want to sort of talk to you, just find
out about you."
So he stayed back a little bit longer, they gave him a cup of tea and some chocolate
now if you give a monk a cup of tea and chocolate, they're gonna stay forever,
so he stayed behind for a bit of tea and chocolate.
They started asking him questions about life in
a Buddhist monastery in the West. What do you guys do?
Have you ever wondered what we do in our monastery?
So he said, "Okay, the day in the life of a monk, we get up at four o'clock in the morning."
And just at that the prisoners were aghast.
"Four o'clock in the morning!
Even in prison, you don't have to get up at that time."
And the monk
he did actually make a
qualification, he said, "Actually
it's voluntary,
it's optional, getting up at four o'clock in the morning," which is true,
it's optional, you can always get up earlier, if you want to,
that's the option.
"And then what do you do?,"
and he told them, "We meditate."
They said, "Can't you just watch the end of the late night movie?"
He said, "No, we don't have TVs." "You don't have TVs in the monastery, we have TVs in our cells
in prison,
that's terrible.
So what you do then, you have your breakfast?" We do have a breakfast at the
monastery, we usually have just one cup of cereal in it and that's about it,
or you know someone, you know has his noodles,
but it's only one cup, that's all.
They said, "Wow, you know in Casuarina Jail we can have bacon, we have pancakes,
we can have cereal, you have everything there, whatever you want."
And they said, "Why don't you do that in the monastery?" "No, no, we only have a bit of cereal
and that's it."
"And then what do you do in the morning?"
"And then we work hard
at Bodhinyana Monastery."
We do these amazing chores, you know building,
and even I do that, and if you go down to the retreat centre,
we're doing this ramp and I was spending two days cutting the bricks, it was a huge angle
grinder, really heavy work, getting myself all dusty.
I like some joining in when there's any concrete work. Tell the story once
with doing concrete work, when you do concrete work, even as a monk, you get it all splashed
all over you. So you know just boys being boys, I'm still a boy
you know, still just maybe a bit old to be a boy, but I still like getting myself all dirty.
So I got all this concrete on top of me,
as I was walking back to my hut to have a shower, I passed a Sri Lankan woman
and she was in this really expensive sari, she was visiting the monastery.
She came up to me and I'll never forget this, she said,
"Uh... I've come to see the abbot Ajahn Brahm."
I thought very quickly and I said, "Madam, if you go to the hall over there
he'll probably be there in about fifteen minutes."
That was enough time for me to go to my room, get a shower and get changed into some
clean robes. So I went up to the hall, and there she was waiting,
and I said, "Oh! I'm Ajahn Brahm," you know she never recognized me.
That's how dirty
I was.
I gave her a nice talk, you know about the monastery and about Buddhism,
what we're doing here and she was really impressed, so just before she left
she said,
"You know you've got a really good monastery, are you're a really good monk,
but if you don't mind me saying this,
I saw this really dirty monk when I came here
and I think you should do something about that." I said, "I'll talk to him later, Ma'am".
Which I did.
So that's actually how hard we work, and when the prisoners heard this,
again they were really surprised,
'cause yeah, in prison you have to do jobs, but they take it real easy in those
jails in Australia. They said, "They'll never get us to work that hard."
They said "And then you have your lunch?"
Yeah, we have our lunch, many of you have been to our monastery,
we eat it out of a bowl, everything goes in
one bowl.
Sometimes it's true you do get curry on spaghetti.
No sorry, I got that wrong, you got custard on spaghetti. That's right,
you ever had custard on spaghetti?
Why do you say "yuck" for, you've never eaten it,
but actually you're right, it is gross.
Sometimes you have custard on spaghetti. I've had ice cream on curry,
chocolate ice cream,
yeah, that's also yucky.
'Cause you know, you put it in your bowl,
and for me because I'm the senior monk I put it in the bowl myself and I give it
to somebody to take up, 'cause that's their duty. By the time, they're not really
careful, they just shake it all over the place,
you know I put it in the right position when I start, by the time it gets up there it's all
over the place, but that's life.
And they were saying that even in prison, even when you go to
solitary, you get a tray
the custard is here, the spaghetti is over there, it's separate compartments. "Don't you have
compartments in your bowl?" Have a look at our bowls, we don't have separate compartments, it goes all over the place.
They said, "That's disgusting!"
"So what you do in the afternoons?" He said, "We meditate."
"Can't you sort of play some music, or sort of play a game of footie or
something." "No, we're not allowed to play footie,
we just meditate all afternoon." They said, "Don't you get bored?"
"No, that's what we're supposed to do." "So I suppose you hangout for dinner?"
"Dinner? We don't have dinner in our monasteries, we just eat in the morning time, there's no dinner."
They said, "Well, even in prison they give you something to eat in the evening and you
have snacks throughout the day, whatever you want.
So what do you do in the evening then?
You know, can you
play cards
play monopoly or something, pass the time?"
He said "No, we can't do that." "Don't tell us" they said,
You meditate, don't you?" "Yeah, of course we do." "Oh God,
that must be terrible. Then what time do you go to bed?"
And the monk said, "Bed? Bed?...
we don't have beds,
I sleep on the floor."
They were absolutely disgusted.
Even in prison they put you in that little cot with the mattress on top, not in our
monastery, I sleep on the floor.
Anyway,
the prisoners were actually really surprised.
They were really surprised, but not only surprised, they felt sorry for this monk who had been
visiting them,
and this is true story, one of them was so upset that this man who they got to
like
was living in such a hard situation,
one of them blurted out,
"That's terrible in your monastery,
why don't you come in here and stay with us instead?"
And they had a point,
it is actually much more comfortable
in any prison in Western Australia than in Bodhinyana Monastery, or even in Dhammasara
Nun's Monastery.
So why is it
that people are trying to get out of jail,
and they're trying to break into our monastery, to stay there,
waiting lists.
That got me thinking, what's the difference between our monastery and the prison?
Prison is actually more comfortable,
the monastery is much harsher.
What's the difference?
The only difference is in a monastery
people want to be there.
In a prison,
doesn't matter how comfortable it is,
people don't want to be there,
that's the only difference.
From that I worked out
there are many prisons in life.
I saw the many prisons I've made for myself,
the many prisons that other people continue make for themselves,
any place you don't want to be,
that's your prison.
If you don't like this talk and think, "When's it gonna end?,"
this hall is your prison, you don't wanna be here.
If you're in a relationship which you don't like,
your relationship is your prison,
you don't wanna be there.
If you're in a job
which is not giving you any satisfaction,
another prison for you.
Even a body which is sick,
and you don't wanna be here,
your body is now a prison.
Any place you don't wanna be is a prison.
However there's a very easy way to escape from those prisons you make in life,
you don't need to change your husband, your wife,
you don't need even to change your job,
you don't even need to get better with your sickness,
all you need to do is to change your attitude
and want to be here.
When you want to be here, you're free.
Doesn't matter sort of how
painful, uncomfortable it is,
as long as you want to be here
then you're free.
That's called contentment,
that's the second way of letting go,
want to be here
whatever here happens to be.
That's one of the most powerful attitudes,
especially when you're meditating,
and also other times in your life.
When your meditating, it doesn't matter what you're experiencing,
you can be dull, sleepy, restless, thinking all sorts of weird things in your head
but if you want to be here
you feel peace and freedom.
If you wanna be somewhere else
you'll always feel this tension and suffering.
The great trick is, you don't need to change anything
except your attitude
and want to be here.
Not only when you're meditating, there are many other times in your life,
so you're stuck in a traffic jam,
you got no choice,
it's not gonna move faster because you get angry.
So when you're stuck in a traffic jam,
want to be there,
and if you want to be here
it causes you no stress at all,
you feel perfectly free and at ease and peace,
in the traffic jams of your life.
When you want to go somewhere and you can't,
the only thing that stress is,
is "I want to be somewhere else,
I don't wanna be here."
Just like in a prison,
if you want to be here, you're free.
There comes a time
when you're dying,
you're sick and in pain,
and I've seen so many people struggle at that time,
and it's so sad and desperate to see,
so when that's you
in your last moments of life,
just all the struggle, it's not going to get you anywhere,
there's no escape, you're dying.
So don't make a prison of your body at the very end,
instead, want to be there,
if you want to be there
you're totally free.
That's the second way of letting go,
want to be here.
The other, third way of letting go, this
all comes from
the Dhammacakkapavattana Sutta, The Third
Noble Truth,
the Buddha said letting go of craving leads to enlightenment.
I've already mentioned two of the ways he said to let go. The third way of letting go,
it's called giving.
Not ordinary giving
but giving
expecting nothing back in return.
In this hall here,
this hall has been built for a long time,
there's no sign
saying who gave this,
there's no names of the donors of this place. Even in our retreat centre which
cost over five million,
many people donated many, many small sums and big sums,
but there's not even one sign in that retreat centre
opposite our monastery
of who gave what.
There's a reason for that,
because we encourage
giving expecting nothing back in return,
if you give donation and expect to have your name
inscribed over the entrance of that hall
which you donated,
that's not called giving,
that's called
buying advertising rights,
selling your name,
that's not real giving.
So for us
the way Buddha described it, it's giving expecting nothing back in return.
So what does that mean, you're letting go.
When you get married and have a relationship,
are you giving
or are you expecting something back in return?
Are you really letting go?
Too often we expect things back in return
and that causes a huge amount of suffering in life,
and our expectations never get realized.
You'll find that much of your life
is expectations being frustrated, being thwarted,
all the things that were promised to you when you were young, which are expected from life,
how many of them have you
reached and got?
Mostly,
very few.
When you get married,
when you get your job,
when you get out in the workplace, when you go traveling, you have so many
expectations,
and the more expectations you have
the less you can enjoy
the trip which is your relationship or your life.
If you can go into your relationship
giving expecting nothing at all, see what happens,
you'll get a huge amount of fulfilment.
Even when you meditate,
those people who meditate expected to get something,
they're the ones who cause all the problems.
If you want to get enlightened, if you want to get peace or if you want to get rid of
your cancer, if you're doing it to expect some thing,
there'll never be any peace for you.
That's why again quoting Ajahn Chah, he used to say,
"You meditate not to get something,
not to attain things,
you meditate to let go."
It's an act of giving
expecting nothing
back in return,
of emptying, of letting go.
It's a beautiful way of living life.
Whenever I've give any talks I don't expect anything back in return
and usually I don't get anything,
you know even this evening, not the right cup of tea, I don't expect it anyway,
who cares.
So whenever you
do anything, you don't expect anything back.
Sometimes people get quite surprised at that.
There was somebody rang me up once from here,
it was a
Polish lady, actually I remember her,
and she rang me up and said, "Are you giving a talk tonight?"
I said, "Yeah, I'm given a talk tonight" here in this centre.
She said, "How much do you have to pay to get in?"
I said, "Nothing, you don't have to pay anything to get in," you all know that,
and she stopped awhile and she said,
"You don't understand me,
how much money do you have to pay to get through the door?"
I said, "Madam, you don't have to give any money to go through the door. You just
come in and listen, if you don't like it you go out again."
Then she paused again,
she said, "LISTEN,
how much dollar and cents do I have to cough up to come listen to your talk?"
I said "Madam, you don't have to cough up anything.
You don't have to pay any money to go in,
you don't have to pay any money to go out,
we don't give you sort of brochures and propaganda,
you know, which would ask you money afterwards, it's totally for free, just
come in and listen and you go out again afterwards."
And then she paused, I always remember this pause
because I knew that she was really surprised,
and then she asked with utmost sincerity,
"Well, what do you guys get out of this then?"
She couldn't believe
that you can do something expecting nothing back in return,
you just give.
That becomes such a beautiful way
of living a life, just
to give expecting absolutely nothing back in return.
Why? Because it's just a joy to give.
I think I mentioned a few weeks ago here,
every morning
when I'm having my breakfast the cat comes up
to steal my milk.
So you know usually I've got enough but sometimes I go without,
at least I have half instead of the whole
which I usually have.
So the cat,
so I give to the cat,
do I get anything back in return for the cat?
No, licks its thing, sniffs and goes away,
never says "thank you", not even a meow from the cat,
you know what cats are like,
so proud.
But anyway
who cares whether the cat lets me pat it or stroke it or whatever, I don't care,
I just love giving.
So actually, you do give expecting nothing back in return, you give to your cats and dogs
and other people.
Sometimes mothers give to their kids,
they just want to give,
they're not thinking of getting anything back in return.
That's a beautiful way of letting go.
So why don't you give to life,
give all your kindness, your love,
your energy to life,
expecting nothing back in return
and then you know what letting go is and
what the spiritual life is all about.
It's not what I'm getting out of this,
it's what I can give.
And of course I've given my whole life to this,
that's why I'm so rich,
not materially,
but with happiness and health and peace.
That becomes the third way of letting go,
giving, giving to your partner
not expecting anything back in return,
giving to life not expecting anything back in return,
giving all your energy to this moment
expecting nothing back.
It's called the third way
of letting go,
just no expectations.
When you have no expectations life becomes so interesting,
you're not demanding anything, just life gives you so much,
it usually gives you what you least expect.
You have much more fun that way,
you don't anticipate things,
all the gifts of life come as a great surprise,
"I never expected that,
isn't that wonderful,"
life becomes far more enjoyable that way.
And the fourth way of letting go
is called having the teflon mind,
where nothing sticks to it.
So you have this beautiful experience now, don't try and take notes
and try and remember what's being said so you can make sure you
act this way in the future, so you can be a better human being, you don't need to
try to remember these things, these things will stick in your mind anyway.
So don't try and collect things or allow things to stick to you,
you have this beautiful moment,
enjoy it now knowing it's gonna go,
so you can be free for the next moment to come.
Then let that go too
and all the happiness
and the unhappiness of life
never stick to you,
which means that you can always be free for the next moment,
not allowing the last moment to influence this one,
you just flow through life,
and again collecting
no mementos,
expecting
nothing for the future.
Someone says something wrong to you,
it just goes right through you.
As I say, why we have two ears?
If you look very carefully, one says "in,"
the other one says "out."
So that way we don't need to keep anything,
that way
all of the, even the happy moments, we can let those go too, because be careful, if you
keep the happy moments
that gives you so much expectations, so much comparisons,
it's means you can't enjoy the next moment.
How to let go of all the moments, happy and sad moments
of the past,
so you got this mind, this body, this life to which nothing sticks,
which means you can always enjoy
whatever's happening next,
not allowing the past
to stop you being free in the present.
And that especially goes
with all your knowledge and understanding,
sometimes when we learn something,
it sticks to us
and it makes us
so, if you don't mind me saying, conceited,
that we cannot face
the reality of the present moment.
People with too much knowledge
can never understand the truth of now.
That's why, again, one of my other favorite sayings
is, "Never allow knowledge
to stand in the way of truth,
never allow knowledge to stand in the way of truth." Knowledge is all that you've
learned, all you expect to be,
which means when you expect something to be, when you know what it's all about,
it means then that blocks you from seeing the truth and the
uniqueness of what's happening right now.
And too many people, even know too much about Buddhism,
so they can never understand it,
they can never understand the truth of this moment,
what's actually happening right now.
They can never be at peace with this moment, they can never be free,
they can never have real happiness no matter what happens to them in their
life.
Why?
Because they always allow
their knowledge
to stand in the way
of truth.
So remember all the knowledge are just the sign posts,
it's just the directions,
it's not the real thing.
The last simile
an old simile but a great one.
To understand what I mean by not allowing knowledge to stand in a way of truth,
There was once a professor of philosophy here in Perth, Yeah ...
the experience is important, which we are now going to see
with the simile
of the professor and...
Ahh, experience is past when it's interpreted
from the knowledge of your past,
in other words you take the experience and you compare it with something else,
which means it becomes limited by the past.
To learn the words actually stand in the way of truth,
that's why that in meditation we learn how to be absolutely quiet,
to feel and to know,
that becomes the truth
in the same way that the student of Lao Tzu
could actually see...
didn't see the sunset,
only saw the words,
and that great Taoist master made a very good comment
that
it is
the person
if they wanna see the sunset
they gotta put aside all the words,
descriptions,
the words, actually block the experience
that's it.
Okay, back to the professor.
There was a professor
who
of philosophy, in the university...
whenever you mention a professor of philosophy in Buddhism they always get
a bad rap,
so if there are any professors over here, I do apologize,
it's just our tradition.
But
this professor of philosophy,
He
found out there was a new five-star restaurant opening in Perth,
and he wanted to go there to test out the food, so he made an appointment, he rang up,
there was a two-month waiting list, that's how popular the restaurant was.
And so
two-month waiting list,
he decided to book his place there anyway,
and when he booked his place there,
two months later,
he walked up at the restaurant.
And of course they wanted to see his ID, to make sure he'd really booked a place.
And so
they checked his ID and yes he was booked in.
So he went in, the maitre d' took him to his
table, he sat down at the table and a waiter came, you know these really well-dressed waiters,
and gave him the menu.
And this menu was in
thick parchment,
and the menu was written in gold letters and calligraphy,
even the menu was a work of art, as you would expect in an expensive restaurant,
this is no fish and chip shop, this is a top-class five-star restaurant. So
he looked at the menu
and then he ate the menu
and then he paid and left.
Because the professor had no idea of the difference between the menu and the food.
Do you get it?
Too often
the menu
is one's knowledge,
and the food, what you eat,
is the experience,
which is why I said never allow
knowledge to stand in the way of truth.
So we let go
of all of that,
'cause too many people say "But the Buddha said,
but Jesus said,
but the experts say,
but the government says," or whatever.
So what?
It's interesting
you know maybe sort of pointing you in the right direction,
that's what they said but what did they mean, where were they pointing to,
and that's the experience which you have.
So by
having a teflon mind
you become this beautiful free mind
which can actually see things
as they are
rather than see things
as your told that they are.
So learn how to be free,
is all the ways of letting go.
Little things,
I was telling people at the retreat that some, I told the story, an example of this,
in the nine years that I was living in northeast Thailand,
this was a place where Western culture had not reached,
the
countries surrounding Thailand had been colonized
but Thailand had escaped, and whatever Westerners went into Thailand, they were
all in Bangkok, some in Chiang Mai, but the part of Thailand I was in,
no Westerners had been there. And
this is not exaggeration, I went to some villages in that place
and I was the first Westerner the villagers had seen. I remember one occasion
going on alms round in the morning,
and I was the first white man they'd seen in the village, and so they were putting food
in the bowl, and it's a big bowl and but they were looking at me
and all the food was falling outside, the dogs were eating it all, thank you
very much,
because I was the first Westerner they saw. But
because of that
it was like an indigenous culture which had not been tainted by the West
and it was fascinating to observe that from inside, because I was a monk,
as a monk you weren't some sort of visitor, you had a place in that social hierarchy,
you were in the middle of that social hierarchy, you were not an outsider
so you were treated like a Thai,
you were expected to behave like a Thai,
and soon you became like a Thai, you saw it with Thai eyes.
And one of the things you saw was totally unexpected,
what I was saying at the retreat was
in those nine years, the monastery I was staying most of the time
was a cremation ground.
So
all the villagers in the local area used that place
for the funerals.
So we'd do
the funeral, we'd see all the villagers, they'd come,
bring their dead, we'd do all the chanting and the services, we'd see them that
afternoon, that evening, the next day.
And there was something very strange,
there was no grief,
they just
didn't cry, not just cry, they weren't even sad
when somebody died.
This was not suppressing their grief because you saw them every day,
they just, wasn't there,
it was a culture
in which grief was absent
and that really shocked me, and I was there nine years
so this was no just, short visit,
and I thought that was impossible
because my learning had said
that when you lose someone you love you have to have grief.
The truth of the matter,
there was no grief there.
Can you see?
And sometimes people say that's impossible,
it was there, can you see how people,
they can't see the truth because of their learning.
Never allow your learning
to block the truth.
So a lot of times
we have to let go, even our learning
and our assumptions
in order to see the truth,
and that's having what I call this teflon mind.
Otherwise you'd have all these assumptions of who your husband is,
who your enemies are, who your friends are,
what life is all about,
and that will block you seeing
what's really out there.
And life is totally surprising, at least as far as I'm concerned,
what I've seen in my life.
Even like Indonesia, my trip to Indonesia,
that's where all the Muslim terrorists are, you know all the Bali bombers, they came from over there,
but I had such a wonderful time with the Muslims,
they came to all my talks,
we had photos together, got
interviewed and photographed in the Muslim newspapers.
Even one Muslim family, they came
to the airport, they just caught me in time,
said "Oh, Ajahn Brahm, Ajahn Brahm you must sign our book, it's the best book we've ever had."
So this whole Muslim family in the veils and everything,
me in the middle
with the book,
having a last photograph taken together.
Isn't that wonderful, when people of different religions
can have so much fun together.
Did you expect that?
That was the truth.
So a lot of the times when we think, "Oh, Muslims, they don't like Buddhists,"
that's actually what stops us seeing the truth.
So remember, just have a teflon mind, don't allow these things to stick
'cause they'll stop you
from experiencing the truth. So these are four ways of letting go.
And those four ways again are just
throwing things away,
I'm not talking about throwing your material possessions away but throwing those
mental stuff which you keep, the past and the future, worried about the future and
all this other stuff which you worry about, throw it out.
And be simple, and be free, have few possessions, don't carry so many rocks in
the backpack on top of your mind.
And number two
is
learning how to be
content.
It's wonderful having mobile phones, isn't that wonderful? So
be content that it's ringing,
'cause it's gonna ring anyway, you can't do anything about it,
so be happy to be here.
Actually very nice music, thank you so much,
it's very rare that monks hear music you know, because we're not allowed to hear music,
so it's very wonderful to hear this, thank you so much. So be content and happy
no matter what's happening.
Number three,
is actually, whatever you do just give expecting nothing back in return,
so I don't expect thanks, so I don't expect anything back, so whether you like this talk
that's your problem, I've just given my talk, I've done my duty
and that's it, so I don't expect anything back in return,
I just give 'cause I love giving,
I love teaching,
I love serving,
I love being kind,
and seeing what you need next. So that's my joy, so thank you for giving
me the chance to teach,
that's all I need,
nothing back in return,
and that's beautiful 'cause then you're free, with no expectations.
And last of all, have a teflon mind, which nothing sticks, so don't keep things
especially your thoughts,
even your knowledge,
so you can be free.
And then you understand what letting go is, and if you can do that from time to time
in your life, you'll find that most of the problems of life,
you can overcome.
There's a time when you work hard,
when you carry things,
you do your duties and jobs.
There has to be the time when you just put things down and let go.
The problem is as Westerners
living in a Western world, or as Asians living in a Western world,
we all know about doing things,
we're very good at that,
but what we don't know
is how to put things down,
let go
and rest.
So that's how to let go,
the four ways of letting go,
Thank you for listening. [Applause]
Thank you. You know I never expected that.