(jazzy music plays)
- What's up, Light?
You stupid idiot.
(beep) you.
- Know what, Eric?
That's it.
You asked for this.
(dramatic music plays)
- You spelled my name wrong, you (beep) dip.
(Erci groans)
- Curse the day my parents named me Erci!
- You suck!
- Yeah, I know.
- You killed Erci, dude.
- I know.
- Everyone loved Erci.
(jazzy music plays)
(pop music plays)
(men groan)
- What the hell is happening over here?
(men groan)
- I have no idea.
But it's the coolest goddamn thing I ever did see.
- Yeah, makes me feel so comfortable.
- Think we should try that?
(men groan)
Oh my god, I think they looked at me.
- Oh, you're approaching me.
- I think we're being invited to combat.
(jazzy music plays)
- I am a member of Fire Force.
We fight fires by using fire.
- And I am a member of the Police Force.
We fight crime by doing crime.
- Huh?
- Put her there.
- I don't...
- Come on.
Put her there.
- I'm gonna go.
- Come on.
(jazzy music plays)
- Goku, now that you have all the dragon balls,
you can wish for whatever you want.
It's time to save the world from exploding or some (beep)
- Okay.
Here it goes.
Whoa.
Whoa!
- Oh no.
Nothing happened.
It didn't work!
- Oh, it worked all right.
It's super saiyan!
(jazzy music plays)
- Wow, One Punch Man!
The hero who can beat anything in one punch.
I gotta ask, how did you get so strong?
- Oh, 100 pushups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats,
10K run every day.
- Oh.
It sounds hard.
- It's actually a really accessible workout.
- Yeah.
- Anyone can do it.
- Yeah.
- To get super powers.
You're not gonna do it, are you?
- I'm just gonna cut out bread for a week
and see what happens, but thanks.
- You don't want a signature?
I'm...
I'm One Punch Man.
(jazzy music plays)
- [Woman] Water.
Fire.
(man laughs)
Air.
Earth.
(Craig laughs)
- Oh Jesus!
You hit me in the head with a rock, Craig!
What the (beep) is wrong with you?
- Oh, I'm sorry!
- Yeah, okay, Craig.
Earth is the strongest one.
You win.
Hope you're happy.
I'm going home.
I hate playing with you guys.
(jazzy music plays)
- Ooh!
I sure hope no 30 foot tall Titan lady picks me up
and eats me.
Ooh, that would suck so much.
Ooh, I hope she doesn't step on me.
I would hate that.
Oh no!
Ooh!
(man groans)
(jazzy music plays)
- Your father and I are so proud of our little man
for getting his hunter license.
Have you decided what kind of hunter you want to be?
- Actually I have.
I've decided I'm gonna become a beast hunter.
- Oh.
A beast hunter.
That's great, that's great.
You know, your cousin's a disease hunter.
I hear she does very well for herself.
You know, curing all the world of its illnesses.
- Mom.
- She's basically the hit TV show "House."
Have you seen "House?"
- No, I-
- You could've been "House!"
It's like you don't even love me.
(jazzy music plays)
- So long, suckers.
- Been looking for you.
- Who are you?
- Me?
I'm a drifter.
Sometimes I don't even know who I am.
I'm like a piece of driftwood.
I guess I'm a piece of something that was once whole
but is now dismantled.
I guess you could call me a rolling stone.
Or a bird that can't find its way north
which doesn't matter much 'cause we're in space.
Space being big,
empty.
Like me.
I guess it all started
back when I wanted to become an author,
but I couldn't really get a deal,
so I decided to publish myself to Amazon.
Oh.
Oh, she's gone.
(jazzy music plays)
- Listen up, young Midoriya.
You have proven yourself to have a set of values
exactly like my own
and are therefore worthy of my strength,
a strength that is disproportionate
to the amount of work that you put in.
It has been molded, crafted by seven generations of people
exactly like me, and now you will be receiving this power.
- I'm getting the accumulated resources
of seven generations all at once?
- That's right, young Midoriya.
You will be receiving the power of white-
(jazzy music plays)
- Mr. Alchemist!
Mr. Alchemist, please!
My daughter is very sick and needs medicine,
a potion, anything!
(metal music plays)
What?
- I don't take insurance.
(beep)
- This is mine.
I brought it from home.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- It's hard to wash too.
I didn't do it.
- Yeah, I can smell that you haven't washed it ever.
- Well, it already smelled bad.
It's like that kind of like really bad, like, polyurethane
that you just order.
It's still a nice costume.
(man groans)
- Okay, I could have been "House."
- You know I love Hugh Laurie!
- Yeah, but think about it.
I'm like kind of "Fantastic Beast" now, you know?
- Is he in that?
I don't know.
I only watch "House!"
- I only watch movies with Johnny Depp!
- Really?
- Yes!
- That is your icon?
Johnny Depp?
Johnny...
I raised you better than that.
- I'm getting you a birthday cake.
How do you spell your name?
- You promise it's for a birthday cake?
- It's for a birthday cake, yes.
- Okay.
It's with a C-K.
- E-R-I-C-K.
Is that Norse?
- Yeah, maybe.
Sike!
It's with two Cs.
Dumbass.
- Okay, I just wrote it with two Cs on your birthday cake.
- Yeah right.
Like you...
(everyone laughs)