because you're waiting for the life you've dreamed of?
We should all have some goals to work hard
and strive towards,
but they shouldn't become a barrier to our happiness.
Money may not make you as happy as you'd hoped.
That dream job, years of hard work down the road,
may not be all it seemed to be.
Life is unexpected
so it's best to enjoy what you have in front of you,
and the journey towards your dreams in the process.
Instead of flooding your dreams,
be the only world in which you can imagine a happy you.
Number two, you work to fulfill
only your materialistic desires.
Do you look for happiness in materialistic goods?
Is that the next iPhone, purse or car
that will make you happy?
Well, those feelings of happiness only lasts for so long.
The thing is people get used to new items pretty quickly,
sooner or later you buy that dream car, or purse, or phone,
it will just be another means of transportation.
Another item in your closet,
a dusty phone you can't seem to get working.
And then there will be something new
you set your sights on.
Then the process just repeats.
Want buy, want buy.
With only a few brief moments of happiness in between,
but these moments just feel lesser and lesser
the more you resort to just buy a new item
to gain some happiness.
Focus on your values instead.
At the end of your life,
will you be looking back at all the phones you bought
or all the friendships you made,
and experiences you lived?
Probably the latter,
unless it's your ultimate passion to collect phones.
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Now back to the video.
Number three, you ruminate on fictional
negative scenarios that likely won't happen.
Do you ruminate on imaginative scenarios
often about the worst case possible,
leaving you feeling anxious and mentally drained?
Well, it's good to first recognize
when you've drifted off into a worrisome realm
of anxious imagination and take a step back.
This may be difficult at first,
but the more you recognize when you're drifting off
into ruminating about something that's not rooted in fact,
but instead, simply negative scenarios that are fiction,
you may have an easier time of letting go of that worry.
Tell yourself that this is just your imagination
running a bit wild.
That you may often jump to the worst scenario first,
one likely everything will be fine.
If you feel your negative scenarios are indeed more likely
to happen in this case,
try redirecting the focus into a plan
on what you'll do next.
Redirect the focus somewhere else by doing another task
that requires a good amount of thought.
Number four, blaming yourself for something
that's out of your control.
Do you often blame yourself for everything
that goes wrong in your life?
It's important that we all step back
and recognize when we have no control in a situation
and that it's not our fault.
Blaming ourselves often takes so much energy,
it can leave us feeling miserable.
When you feel blame arising,
remind yourself of whether or not you had any real fault.
We can't have control over everything.
So working towards recognizing when we're not wrong
is a great first step in the right direction.
Once you realized you're not at fault,
redirect your attention onto something
you love and appreciate.
Engage in those activities that make you smile.
It may just get your mind off your worries
and onto something that makes you happy.
Number five, you're holding onto grudges or anger.
Are you currently holding onto any grudges?
Do you hold anger in your heart?
When this happens,
it's best to move towards letting go of this anger
rather than holding onto it and hoping something changes.
This can be hard when someone has wronged us,
but you deserve respect.
Give yourself the respect you deserve
and try to focus your thoughts
away from the person that wronged you.
Determine if there'll be one who will stay in your life
or one you'll move on from.
Then forgive or let go of the anger
and let the respect for your wellbeing fill that spot.
And number six, judging yourself too harshly.
Do you, you judge yourself a little too harshly?
It's time to give yourself a break.
You're only human after all.
A good step towards correcting this harmful behavior
is to recognize that while you may think
something horrible about yourself, it's not true.
It's simply a thought.
You can choose whether or not you believe it.
Another great tip is to sometimes replace any reoccurring
negative judgments with a positive thought,
even if you don't believe it yet.
Even if you're not the perfect self
you believe you should be, which no one is by the way.
You deserve respect and love.
Treat yourself how you would treat your most loved friend
or family or pet.
Would you ever say those harsh things to your dog
if he was here having a hard time?
I think not.
Yes, everyone's circumstances are different
and it may be more difficult for some than others.
But recognizing you're not in a healthy place,
gives you a chance to seek out help that you may need.
If these feelings of misery persist,
it's best to seek out help from therapist or counselor.
They may be able to help you and sooner or later,
you may not feel as miserable as you once were.
Happiness is surely possible.
So don't shy away from taking the first step
towards getting there.
We can do it together.
So which of these reasons could you relate to?
Feel free to share with us in the comments down below,
leave a comment with our other Psych2goers
If you have a great method or tip
that got you back on track towards happiness as well.
We hope you enjoyed this video.
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