In this video, I'm going to be telling you all of that and
it's so critically important that you
understand that especially in negotiations.
So, stay tuned.
I am Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissistic negotiation expert, I'm a lawyer and
I teach you the secrets, the tips and tricks
on how to powerfully negotiate with narcissists.
So if that is something you want to do,
I invite you to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
Okay, so let's talk about why narcissists ditch out
that ultimate punishment
or what that ultimate punishment is and why they do it.
So first of all,
let's talk about the beginning of the relationship with a narcissist.
So, they start off at the beginning of the relationship,
basically conditioning you, they are testing you,
they want to make sure that
you are going to be a good source of supply.
So, they start off obviously with the love-bombing stage,
as all narcissists do,
they’re making sure that they look perfect to you,
they're very good at reading people,
so, they know how to present themselves
as being absolutely perfect.
They have that kind of chameleon quality
of themselves to present themselves to be
absolutely amazing to whoever it is that
they need to do that for at the beginning.
They can't hold that very long.
It's like it's not a natural state for them
so they they need to get progress to the next level
as quickly as they possibly can.
During this phase, they’re really testing you,
they’re grooming you,
you they want to see what your weaknesses are,
they want to see how quickly they can get
to the next stage of conditioning you,
they're starting to imprint you,
they want to see how much they can get away with.
So, they start dropping these little things to devalue you,
to see what they can get away with.
So you'll start to get these little barbs,
they'll say things or they'll start to ghost you a little bit
or they'll start to do things, just to see,
like are you going to do something about it?
Are you going to stick around?
Are you going to let them get away with it?
You'll start to see that gas lighting,
you'll start to see the ghosting,
by the way, if you want to know more about
what the gaslighting phrases are that they use,
you can definitely check out my video on
‘‘Narcissistic gaslighting phrases’’
I have a whole video on the actual phrases that they use,
which I recommend that you check out,
they start to have their flying monkeys,
they start to be passive-aggressive.
I definitely saw this with the business person
that I had to deal with it.
I had a covert narcissist that I had to deal with
in a business type of a setting and
I definitely saw this passive aggression kind of a thing and
it was like very, very confusing and
why do they do that?
Well, because they want you to be confused,
I had a client one time who referred to it
as scrambled eggs for brains, and
they don't think about this consciously,
but, when they are doing that,
they're basically just destabilizing you.
They're basically reprogramming your brain
to make you think that they are the powerful ones,
that they are the ones in control,
that they're smarter than you,
that they know more than you,
even though they attach themselves to you
because they kind of felt like you knew more,
that you had more power,
that there was something great about you
but then, that gives them power to actually be able
to manipulate this person that they thought had power.
It's like really off top, but that's what they're doing.
They do all of this because,
this confused destabilized person is actually
really much more easily manipulated now.
So, now, when relationship starts to collapse and
you're going into that last phase of the relationship
where you're no longer going to be in relationship.
Now, you still think this person has all this power and
I just want you to remember that.
A lot of times when you're thinking,
they know so much more, they’re so good at everything,
a lot of times when you're thinking that
when you think that they're so smart or they're so great,
A lot of times, it's really just the imprinting
that they have caused to happen to you.
They’re programming on you.
I just want you to know that because,
they're trying to have your own sense of self removed and
depending on how long you've been in a relationship
with this person it's worked,
I mean, how many times have I have worked with people,
where they said, I don't even recognize myself anymore.
This is not who I am.
This is not how it used to be.
I didn't used to feel like this about myself,
but, that's what happens.
So when the relationship comes to an end,
during this kind of discard phase,
they really want to hurt you. And why?
Because they want to make you look bad
before you can make them look bad.
They want to punish you for leaving them,
or even if they're leaving you,
they still want to punish you.
Because with narcissists, you're either for them or against them.
It's all very black and white with them.
If I'm right so far and you know that I am,
All right, so what are their ultimate punishments?
If it's a divorce situation, it's going to be your kids
or anything that they know is that one thing.
So, if you've said I want this, then,
they're going to make sure they go after that.
I mean, that's what happened with me.
I had this sort of business relationship
with a particular person and I have mentioned
I definitely want to make sure I maintain a certain thing
while that was the one thing that
she made sure that she went after,
that was my one of my mistakes before
I realized I was dealing with a narcissist, by the way.
After this relationship, that's when I started
learning all about narcissism and started teaching on it.
I knew all about negotiations before that,
but, now I really know all this stuff.
Again, Achilles heel, anything they know you want,
anything they know you love.
So, remember that, don't give them that satisfaction.
That gives them supply.
They have no shame and they have no remorse.
So those are the types of things they like to do.
Why do they do it?
Because it gives them narcissistic supply.
Everything they do is because of narcissistic supply and
in other videos, I talked all about how you can cut off their supply, and
that's my whole S.L.A.Y program,
is all about that and creating that leverage
or how to ethically manipulate the manipulator.
If you want to get started on that,
grab my free ‘‘Crush my negotiation’’ prep worksheet
right now at winmynegotiation.com.
Go to my Facebook group, ‘‘Narcissist Negotiators’’ and
get the support that you need.
We are here for you.
You can't do this alone. Don't do this alone.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
If you like this video, like it, share it,
drop me that comment, subscribe to this channel.
Negotiating with narcissists is definitely no joke,
but you can do it and it is possible.
We are here for you. All right?
I will see you in the next video, just stick around.
We got you. See you then.