-Last time you were here you had just come back from Asia.
You'd been doing touring there,
and now this time you're just back from Europe.
How was your Europe travels?
-You know, I got back on Sunday.
So I'm still a little bit delirious.
-Mm-hmm.
-I mean, the transatlantic flight, that is no joke, right?
I mean, I guess that's the only option, right,
to get across the Atlantic. [ Laughter ]
-Is a flight. -Trans is the only way.
-Right?
You never really -- there's no people like,
"You know what? I jet-skied." You know?
[ Laughter ]
But it's an insane flight.
People are messed up after that flight, for days.
They're like, "I need a day. I need a day."
But it doesn't seem that hard.
You're like, "It was hard."
I had to sit in a comfortable chair for six hours.
[ Laughter ]
And watch movies.
I felt like I was being waterboarded.
[ Laughter ]
People complain.
It used to take six weeks. -Yeah.
-It used to take six weeks
to get from Europe to the Western Hemisphere,
and even back then people were like, "That's great." You know?
[ Laughter ]
"That's good. Like how long did it take?"
"Six weeks." "Oh, that's good."
"Yeah, I was productive.
I read every book that's ever been printed."
[ Laughter ] You know?
But that's how Columbus --
he, you know, got from Spain to the Western Hemisphere,
six weeks.
And you know, he got here and he was like, "I need a day."
[ Laughter ]
You know? "I am so boatlagged."
[ Laughter ]
"Give me a day,
and then I'll get right to raping and murdering."
[ Laughter ]
-You can't do that exhausted. You just can't do it exhausted.
-No.
-Paris? How was Paris?
-Paris was amazing.
I guess I was there like eight days ago,
and I am still digesting the cheese.
-Okay. [ Laughter ]
-My delicate American body... [ Laughter ]
...could not handle the cheese-cheese.
-Yeah, because you eat cheese here in the States.
-My wife is from Wisconsin. I love cheese.
-Yeah.
-But the cheese -- the French have a --
They take eating cheese to a whole other level.
They make it an entire course at the meal.
So you'll have an appetizer, an entrée,
and then for absolutely no reason at all,
a bunch of chunks of cheese, then dessert.
After that you go to the hospital.
[ Laughter ]
But it's amazing.
It's not like I don't eat cheese that way,
but just not in public. [ Laughter ]
You know what I mean?
Eating chunks of cheese, that's what I get caught doing.
[ Laughter ]
You know what I mean?
The first time I had the cheese course,
I actually heard my heart say, "Are you mad at me?"
[ Laughter ]
My brain took over.
It's like, "It's going to be fine. Everyone relax. Relax.
There's going to be sweating.
There's going to be a lot of sweating.
[ Laughter ]
You know, bowels, you can take a couple weeks off."
[ Laughter ]
But it was amazing.
I tried dozens of French cheeses,
and I couldn't tell you the name of one of them.
And they told me the names.
They'd be like,
"This is Shaw-shaw-shaw from the Shaw-shaw-shaw region."
And I'd be like, "So not cheddar?"
[ Laughter ]
It was amazing.
-You also made it to Scandinavia.
-I did. Scandinavia.
-Finland.
-Finland. I went all around the Nordic countries
and ate a lot of reindeer.
-You did. You're not joking. This is a photo you took.
-Yes.
-There was a place that was selling reindeer.
-This was, I think, in Finland.
But in Norway, I went in a butcher shop,
and they had a sale on reindeer meat.
Nothing says Christmas season is over...
[ Laughter ]
...quite like a sale on reindeer meat.
[ Laughter ]
That's got to be a tough day for Santa.
[ Laughter ]
"I want to thank all the reindeer
for your work this year.
Now, when I call your name,
if you could come with me in the smokehouse.
Donner!" [ Laughter ]
But it was amazing.
-Stockholm? -Stockholm.
-Beautiful city.
-Beautiful city, and you know,
you go to so many of these places,
and you really want to
experience the tourist attraction.
In Stockholm, the big attraction is the Vasa Museum,
which is a ship museum.
But there is -- You go there, and there's only one ship.
So it's less of a museum. It's like a ship garage.
[ Laughter ]
And you learn -- I learned that this ship,
essentially it floated for like a moment,
and then it sunk in Stockholm Harbor.
So their museum is a boat that didn't float.
[ Laughter ]
Like, most countries, their largest tourist attraction is,
you know, an engineering marvel, or some beautiful natural thing.
In Stockholm, they're like "This is a boat that didn't float.
This is why we make furniture." [ Laughter ]
But it is a beautiful boat.