- I'm also just a girl standing in front of the boy
asking him to love her.
(laughing) (upbeat jazz music)
- Hey guys.
Welcome to "Stir Crazy."
My guest today is talented, and dreamy, and a nice guy.
Personally I don't really care for him,
but the kids love him.
It's Jamie Dornan.
- What a beautiful, beautiful introduction.
I appreciate that, Josh.
Thank you.
- You haven't bailed on me yet.
I was worried.
It's good to see you, buddy.
You're at home.
You're in the UK.
It's late where you are.
Thanks for staying up for me.
- Actually, I've got something more important after this,
so that's why I'm actually staying up.
- Oh, perfect.
Thanks for your honesty.
(laughing)
One of the exciting recent developments in your life
is you have joined the 21st century.
You have an Instagram now, I've noticed.
Can we take a look at some of your recent Instagram posts?
I want you to explain the gram to me.
(upbeat jazz music)
Talk me through the outfit here.
Talk me through what's going on here.
Who are you wearing?
- I mean, what do you need explained here?
- No, nothing.
No judgment, all good, I mean.
- This is having three little girls.
I'm gonna say that I look good.
I'll start with that.
I think my wife wasn't delighted with that
because she loves that dress.
And as you can probably tell, it's tight.
So it was a bit of a number of getting it off.
- There's a lot to unpack here.
I don't know what this is.
I believe you're shirtless.
I believe there is a blue light
emanating out of your throat.
- It was our eldest daughter's seventh birthday.
And there was a balloon that was in my mouth
that had a blue light in it.
It was a blue balloon.
And I was sort of viciously
like rocking it back and forth with my teeth,
trying to make my kids laugh and it burst.
By the time it burst and I sort of realized,
everyone had left the room
and I was in there alone.
- Wow.
Coming soon to reality TV,
the sad, sad life of Jamie Dornan.
- I mean, yeah, listen.
- "Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar."
You're in good hands.
Kristen Wiig, Annie Mumolo.
Their follow up.
They're the writing partners that made "Bridesmaids."
In the movie, you rip your shirt off.
Was that in the script
or is that just something you organically do in your life?
- I don't think that was in the script.
- Would you mind just ripping your shirt off now?
Joshie needs some clicks.
I really need all the help I can get.
- I'm not wearing anything under this.
- Perfect.
Win, yeah, we got it.
- I got a new tattoo that takes over my whole chest
that I don't want to reveal yet
'cause it's still kind of sticky.
- Is it my face?
What's the tattoo?
- It's the back of your head.
- It's a choice.
- I've got your face on my back
so it's almost like you're looking through me.
- In the film, without revealing too much,
there's a great drunk dial sequence
where you drunk dial someone
that you are very much infatuated with.
I've often heard it said by actors
that playing drunk is about the hardest thing to do.
I need some tips.
This is Jamie Dornan's guide to drunk acting.
What are some do's and don'ts?
(upbeat jazz music)
I'm gonna give you some lines, some iconic film lines,
and give me your best.
I'm gonna give you different modifications.
Like this first one,
this is like one tequila shot.
Okay? - Okay.
- This is just a little bit.
- I'm a very good drinker.
I should say that.
- Okay, so let's say this--
- Let's say three tequilas.
- Okay, three tequilas.
Jamie Dornan, show me what you got.
- You complete me.
- Oh, I feel like that's pretty subtle.
That was, you're kind of just like holding it together.
Can I try?
- Yup.
- You complete me.
- There was sort of like an underlying menace there
that you're actually probably gonna kill her.
- That wasn't what I was going on.
I was more like I was like stifling throw up.
I was like gonna vomit.
- Oh, I see.
Oh, it was good.
- Let's go.
This is five tequila shots.
- Houston, we have a problem.
- You're ready to go to bed.
It's like, you're a little sleepy.
Is that what I take it?
- I'm tired, I'm tired.
- Houston, we have a problem.
- Yeah.
I feel that he did the exact same thing you did on.
- Okay.
One of us is a professional actor.
Fucking, Jesus Christ.
Okay, let's do eight tequila shots.
- Okay.
- I mean, I'm also just a girl
standing in front of a boy
asking him to love her.
(laughing)
- That was drunk and romantic all at the same time.
I like it.
I could smell the booze on your breath
even from New York City.
Well done.
I've got some stupid would you rather questions.
You ready?
(upbeat jazz music)
Would you rather go back to modeling full time
or only play leprechauns the rest of your career?
- It depends who like, you know,
is like Scorsese and stuff directing the leprechaun stuff?
- I mean, maybe one of the leprechaun movies,
but not all of them certainly.
- I would take that 'cause at least I'm, you know,
who's to say they're not brilliant roles
and at least I'm getting to act.
I don't have to stand there leaning against cars,
and walls, and shit.
- Would you rather have six nipples or no nipples?
- I have six nipples,
but they're kind of spread out all over my feet.
- Would you rather go back to living
in a tiny one bedroom with your old friend Eddie Redmayne,
or you can live in a giant mansion filled with trolls?
- It should be for the record said
that Eddie and I didn't share
a one bedroom apartment together.
We had quite a nice three bedroom house.
But yeah, I love trolls.
I'm in "Trolls."
I mean, let's get a big house with loads of trolls.
That'd be really fun, never a dull moment.
- I'm gonna ask you the reverse of a question
that your buddy Dakota Johnson got on the show.
I asked her,
would you rather be in an erotic book club with you
or Christian Gray?
- If she didn't say me, I'm calling her immediately.
- She said you.
She said you're a little more funny than Christian.
So would you rather be in an erotic book club
with Dakota Johnson or Anastasia Steele?
- Anastasia Steele. (laughing)
No, I'm joking.
Come on, I'm joking, I'm joking.
No, Dakota, for the exact same.
And saying that, Anastasia is quite funny.
She definitely got all the gags
comparatively to Christian certainly,
but no, with DJ, 'cause she's a legitimately funny person.
- She is the best would you rather player
I've ever had on this show.
She started posing like 10 questions at me.
- Well, that's a big part of it.
She's a big would you rather guy, you know?
I mean, she pulls out all the time, you know?
- Is that true?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She'd be a would you rather, you know,
if there's a lull in, you know,
you're sat on set and stuff,
she'd be coming up with those.
- So I happened to hit her in her strength.
- Yeah.
- So she posed this question
that I have since asked every single guest.
This is a question she asked me.
Would you rather have a mouth full of bees
or one bee in your butt?
- Oh my God,
I think she's actually asked me that before.
- She's recycling material with me?
God. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Wow.
I get second hand would you rather's.
- One in your butt?
Can you like scoop it out?
- That depends on your scooping prowess, I suppose.
- Like is it deep in there?
- Oh yeah.
Yeah, it's all the way up in there.
Yeah.
- I'd rather have it in my arse, I think,
than five in the month.
Unless you can just open your mouth
and get rid of them.
Hold on, like what's the time period?
- They're there for a while.
And it's a lot.
It's not five, it's a mouthful.
It's like a shitload of bees.
- No, one in the arse.
- One in the arse.
We play a game here.
We call it Who Am I?
(upbeat jazz music)
- Kirsten Dunst played her in the first movie I ever did
with Sofia Coppola.
- Oh, Marie Antoinette.
- Well done.
A famous Irish writer.
His first name is very much in the industry.
Instead of the Academy Awards, it's the--
- Oscar, Oscar Wilde.
- Mm-hmm.
Another job I did.
I was on a show called "Once Upon A Time."
Who played Rumpelstiltskin in it?
Oh, this is terrible.
- Wait, is that the character?
Is that what I'm gonna guess?
- That's who it is.
It's Rumpelstiltskin.
I can't believe I just did that.
- Robert Carlyle.
- Robert Carlyle played him.
(laughing)
Oh my god.
There we go.
Did you get it?
- I did.
I growl and I'm a superhero.
- Christian Bale.
- Well, the character, the character.
- Batman.
Well, he's the growliest of the Batmans.
- Oh, I'm a lady
and I hang out with Christian Gray in the red room.
- Oh, Anastasia Steele.
- How'd you like my Anastasia?
That was spot on, right?
- It was very eerily good, yeah.
- I talk like this.
I pause and I was in a movie with you.
Oh, that's pretty good.
It's not so bad.
- Emily Blunt.
(laughing)
- You know my name.
- Oh, it's better there.
It was better there.
Yeah, Walken.
(laughing)
- Whew, well done.
- That was close.
- It's not a competition.
You have to make everything a competition?
What, I mean?
- I kind of am a bit like that, yeah.
- I gotta go 'cause my tattoo artist
has to finish up my tattoo of you.
- Of course.
Me too, me too.
- Yeah. (laughing)
(upbeat jazz music)