How can I overcome depression and anxiety without therapy or meds?
Depression is still one of the top causes of death in many parts of the world. I think this is tragic
because there's so much that we can do about it. In another video, I introduced a model that
we're going to get to some practical steps around today. Go back to that video after you've watched
this one to get the psychology behind these six powerful steps that I'm about to share with you.
Now, a little disclaimer before I get to those six powerful steps, this is not therapy and it
is not intended to replace your therapy or your medications. These are simply some tips and the
ideas that have been found to be effective through the study of positive psychology. We're here as
a resource for you and I want you to keep doing whatever you need to do to take care of yourself
in the meantime. So, here's the first step, turn on your metacognition. Now, metacognition is a
fancy psychological word and we made it up. I mean, we make up words in psychology it makes us feel
really smart and this is a word that if you break it down cognition means thinking. If we put that
right here at this level, metacognition is a higher level, it's thinking about thinking. Notice that you
can do this. A lot of people just think and they don't stop to think about their thinking. I want
you to turn on your metacognition so that you can think about thinking. Metacognition is really cool
because it creates a space in here and in that space is where choice exists. Let me say that
again, metacognition creates a space. In that space is where choice exists and until you see it as a
choice it's not. Your brain will just roll with whatever thinking you're already used to and
you've been trained taught and educated to think in certain ways, that's where your brain's going.
Metacognition will allow you to first Look at that process and then change it on purpose. Can
you see how that's going to be helpful as we're dealing with things like depression or anxiety?
This is huge and it's what I've taught my clients for 30 years of clinical practice now. You've got
to turn on your metacognition and think about your thinking. Let's go to step two, now that
you've turned on your metacognition and you're thinking about your thinking you're in position
to do the next thing, start with gratitude. I want you to dig deep here because most people
when they do gratitude exercises have you ever done it like a gratitude list or a gratitude
journal most of us have and we often make the same mistake. At least I see people doing this
all the time. They put on their gratitude list all of the easy stuff, you know what I'm
talking about? The freebies, the things that are easy to be grateful for. They'll start out with
my family, my health and then it leads to things like puppies and rainbows and indoor plumbing.
This is the wimpy stuff, you guys. We gotta dig deep here if we're actually going to move the
needle. I want you to try your gratitude list in a very different way and here's how I set it up
with my clients, I call it twenty-five-five. Five, meaning five days starting today, will you commit
to do this? Just try it and then let me know how it goes, okay. For five days you make a list of 25
things that's the 25 for which you are sincerely grateful. Now, I'm gonna give you 12 freebies every
day, 12 of the easy things go ahead and put those on your list, they're going to be easy. For the
other 13, I want you to dig deep and I want you to look at something in your life that is difficult,
painful, frustrating, annoying, kicking your trash a little bit, have you got something? Most people do.
If you don't, we can arrange to get you something. That's not what we're about here on this channel.
But think of something that's challenging, painful, hard, frustrating and I want you to find 13 things
every day don't repeat anything on tomorrow's list that was on today's list, whole new list
tomorrow. Dig deep here, find something on your hard list that you're grateful for and I'm
not saying you have to be grateful for the hard thing I'm saying what is it that you've found in
there that does trigger feelings of gratitude for you. You might remember a story I told on
another video about being in a car accident re recently where my truck was totaled. This is an
example okay, what could I possibly be grateful for from that? Well, it's a good question as long
as it's a question sometimes these are statements disguised as questions. What could I possibly be
grateful for from that? See, how it's not really a question but if I turn it back into a question,
what is there to be grateful for from that car accident? I have found dozens of things that I
am profoundly grateful for including meeting an angel okay, who helped me and served me through
that experience. I talked about that on the video. Another angel that showed up a little later on
somebody that I actually knew who came and served me that day. I got a story out of that that I've
been able to share with you here on the channel and I entered that story into a storytelling
competition recently. I could go on. What is there to be grateful for in the hard stuff from your
life? Will you dig deep? 25-5 okay, 12 freebies every day 13 have to be from the hard stuff. Here's one
reason why that is so powerful, psychologically, your brain is already used to thinking about
that thing in a certain way. You're inviting your brain to think about it differently and this has
a profound effect. I would even say a life-saving effect because I know people whose lives have been
saved just by doing this exercise. You're inviting your brain to look at your world differently and
that is powerful. I mentioned at the beginning of this video that model that I shared in another
video you can get a copy of this model just go to the URL on the screen drpauljenkins.com/themodel.
Go to that site and I'll put a copy of this right in your inbox. Here's step number three, move your
body, pure and simple get out and move. You need exercise, your brain is part of your body and I
have to tell you the clinical research around this, whenever they compare antidepressant medication
to exercise, guess which one wins? Exercise. Every time there's a lot of reasons for this and I'm not
saying that medication isn't any good, I'm saying that exercise is a way that your brain which is
part of your body recovers and heals and it allows your body to do what it's designed to do.
You've got to move your body, okay. Get out there and exercise. Are you down? Step number four is to
breathe. Here's the reason, your brain has two main jobs, to keep you safe and to prove you right both
of those get us into trouble from time to time. But to keep you safe job means that your brain
naturally gets into fight or flight mode whenever there's a perceived threat. This triggers certain
chemicals into your bloodstream including cortisol which is one of the main chemicals that causes a
lasting depression. What if we could get our brain and our body to cooperate a little bit more with
the chemistry and one way to do this is through breathing, slow deliberate intentional breathing.
I recommend that you do something like this inhale through the nose and stretch those lungs, hold for
just a few seconds and then exhale very slowly through the mouth. You want your exhale to be about
twice as long as your inhale and physiologically that triggers a whole different set of chemistry,
okay, this will make a difference. Now, practice it, do some breathing. While you're doing that I
want you to rehearse a little phrase, okay. So, just while you're doing the breathing say to
yourself. "I've got this", how does that feel? Just to think about it say to yourself, "I've got this",
as you're breathing. This calms down your brain and it doesn't feel like it has to keep you
safe anymore which reverses some of the negative chemistry and gets the good chemicals flowing so
practice breathing. Step number five, do something to serve someone else. There's a lot of reasons
why this is effective that I'm not going to get into in this particular video. Trust me, for you
to get out of your own way to stop thinking about yourself so much and to get out there
and serve someone else will do wonders for your mental health. It's going to benefit some other
people too. Trust me on this, give it a try, get out and serve someone else. I just have to tell
you a quick story about that, one of my clients was traveling to a different city where he was
supposed to give a presentation he called me from the hotel he said, "Dr Paul, I can't even get
out of bed, I am so depressed. I just don't know what to do", I told him and I was just going into
an appointment so I didn't have a lot of time to talk to him right then I said, "Here's what I want
you to do and check back with me in one hour, okay. I'm going to call you in one hour and see if you
did this. I want you to get out of your bed and go down to the hotel lobby and serve someone. You
just look for someone who needs anything just go serve them", he's like, "Oh, I don't feel like", "I know,
do it". An hour later I checked in he had done it and he was feeling much better. There's a lot of
reasons for that like I said but you just try it, serve someone. Step number six, rinse and repeat.
Okay, you got the first five steps, keep doing this, do more of what works and less of what doesn't.
I guarantee as you do these steps you're going to feel different and you're going to have to take
some time to reprogram your brain that's why I say rinse and repeat. Keep doing the things that
are working. Some people will do the gratitude list for example and it's like, "I felt so much better
when I did it", and then they quit. Why would you quit? Keep doing what's working rinse and repeat
and get some coaching if you need to. If you can't figure out who to hire to coach you at least jump
into our membership at Live on Purpose Central. You can get there easily through
go.liveonpurposecentral.com. I'll coach you if you want to come onto the membership we've got a low monthly
fee that you can pay to be part of that community. You don't have to do this alone. Let's get you
in a place where you're feeling better and things are going better for you in your life. I've got you.