Hello!
Thank you so much for clicking on this video today, I appreciate it.
If it has been a while since you last saw me
I will now address the elephant in the room...
I got bangs!
I mean, no I'm -- I'm a woman now.
Surprise!
So yeah, I'm a transgender woman
My pronouns are she/they
and I am continuing to use the name Charlie.
Those are the headlines.
So, why am -- what what is this?
Why am I here today?
I'll get into the why a little bit later
um
But I have decided that I am
interested in, sort of, dipping my toe
back into the waters of -- of YouTube.
Seeing how it feels.
I've been gone for quite a while
um, a lot's changed
and I felt like maybe, if I came back
perhaps I might enjoy doing it again?
and I thought that might be nice so
we're gon-- we're gonna see how it goes
And so for the first video back
I figured I'd kind of just like take the pressure of and do
A chill little Q&A type thing
and answer the question:
Whatever happened to charlieisscoollike?
That's the -- that's the clickbait title
But I will -- I will be telling you
Because I
I happen to know.
I asked my followers on Instagram
if they had any questions for me
that they'd like me to answer in this video
I received quite a lot.
A lot of people did ask the same questions though
so I've taken I guess the most popular ones
um
and I'll be answering them now
'cause that's what this video is.
Let's start off with the easy ones.
Are you still living in Canada?
Yes, I am
uh
If anyone doesn't know I am
based in Toronto, Ontario these days
I've been here for about five and a half years.
Very much enjoy it here
And um
No plans on leaving anytime soon
Eh?
That's what we say here in Canada, we say eh.
Are you in a relationship at the moment?
The easy ones, she said.
No, I'm not.
One of the things that I kind of discovered
um
during my time away from YouTube
is that I probably would have had a much
more enjoyable time making videos
if I had been able to establish some healthy boundaries
and I think that I have discovered
that this is very much one of those boundaries
I don't know, if it becomes relevant
if I feel like discussing it more then I will
but this is one of those things where I think I'll just say
I'm single, now let's move on
and thank you for respecting those boundaries.
What lipstick do you use?
So this person is referring to
this lipstick that I have on right now
which I did wear in that Instagram story
where I asked people for questions.
It's the Sephora own brand English Rose lip stain.
That's what it is.
And I -- I like it a lot.
Thank you for everyone who's complimented me on it.
All I did was put it on my face.
Do you still watch Doctor Who?
A lot of people asked me about Doctor Who
which may-- makes sense.
I did sort of make it my... brand
uh, for a very long time here.
I have not caught up on the recent Doctor Who
I watched Jodie Whittaker's first season
and it's not that I didn't enjoy it
but I didn't watch any more.
But I will say I am very much looking forward to
uh, the
the renewed version of Doctor Who
Russell T Davies is coming back
David Tennent's coming back
and then Ncuti is taking over as the new Doctor
and I think that's -- that's maybe
what I'm most excited by.
He looks incredible
and I love him in Sex Education so
I'm going to be watching the new stuff, for sure.
The show can always change a lot
and with the new change I'm
it's given me a reason to like, want to come back so
yeah, I think I might be getting back into Doctor Who.
Don't **** it up Russell.
Any plans of making music?
Yes...
but not in the way that I think you might expect.
I got myself one of these
It's a -- it's a Pocket Operator from Teenage Engineering.
It's a tiny little, uh, sequencer
synthesizer box that sort of
makes like, video gamey, chiptune, 8-bit kind of music.
It's been really nice
Just to be making music for myself
and just, for fun
with no other goal than just like can I make something that I like
and I've been enjoying that a lot.
Did your public persona stop you from embracing your identity?
This question
is kind of incredible.
Yes, is the answer
and I was kind of a little shocked when I saw it 'cause I was like
you really hit the nail on the head with that one.
So I stopped making YouTube videos
because making them made me feel unhappy
and when I decided I was gonna leave YouTube
the kind of reason that I gave people
was I felt like
I came up with this internet persona
"charlieissocoollike" when I was 16 years old
and, you know, clearly
I was not that person
and so I felt like it was really beneficial to me
to take this big step away from YouTube
to be able to really figure out who the hell I am
and I have done a lot of work on that
uh
and I do think that
not having to worry about being "charlieissocoollike"
really did help me to have the space
to figure out who I actually am.
And so now that I've done that work
the idea of coming back to YouTube
feels kind of good, because now I'm like
well I can bring my true self to this platform
and that is actually, like, exciting
I didn't think I would ever be at this point where I would
actually be excited by the idea of coming back to this platform
that used to make me feel unhappy.
I guess maybe that's what happens when you work on yourself
you just start to feel better
which -- so that's nice.
Favourite game of 2022?
From self growth to video games.
Without a shadow of a doubt
my favourite video game of 2022 was Tunic.
If anyone hasn't played Tunic, and if you like
Zelda games
or like a little touch of Dark Souls in there maybe.
If you like, um, puzzles
Tunic has the best puzzle
at the heart of the game
that I have ever experienced in any video game
which is honestly the reason why it
is my favourite game of last year.
Plus, it's got a cute little fox, I mean
It's -- just play Tunic.
It is so good.
How was the process of growing your hair out?
One of the things that happened during the pandemic
is a lot of men, male presenting people
started growing their hair out
because, I don't know, it was slightly more socially acceptable
'cause people couldn't go out and have haircuts
and as a result
when I started growing my hair out
it was like, just sort of a -- a given thing
that you would like try it and see how it looks
because this is the times we live in
and, um
it was a pretty good cover story
not gonna lie.
What's your sexuality? If you don't mind answering.
I don't mind answering this
uh, I'm bisexual.
This was another thing that I discovered
through my process of self discovery
and
I'm realizing I don't really have anything else to say about it.
I mean I guess I can say that
some people see bisexuality as
being attracted to men and women
and for me it's more
somebody else's gender identity
doesn't have a significant impact
on whether or not I find them attractive.
Which is another way of saying that, yes
non binary people are included in my bisexuality as well
Why did you delete your old videos?
A lot of people
have been asking this
why I decided to take down my old videos
and if you didn't sort of instinctively get why
I would have made that decision I'm happy to explain it.
As I was going through the process of
coming out publicly as transgender
it was important to me to make sure
that any internet space that I had control over
presented me as the person I am now
in the gender identity that I have
and so I went through the process on all of my social media
on my Twitter, that I barely use anymore
um
and on my Instagram as well
just removing any images of myself
where I was male presenting
and I went through that process on YouTube as well
and it just so happens that
every single one of the videos that I uploaded features me
so I privated all of them.
I know that a lot of people really
appreciate those older videos
and I haven't decided
what to do on this front yet.
I'm considering the possibility of maybe
making them, uh, unlisted instead of privated
as that way they wouldn't show up in search results
but if you wanna watch them, you can.
But yes, as much as I understand
that people do like those old videos
for me, I didn't want them to be
the thing that people saw when they googled my name
and
I just hope people will
kind of respect that decision.
Also like, I dunno
If you made a bunch of videos when
you were a teenager and put them on Youtube
would you still want people to watch them?
Like, gender identity aside?
I don't -- they're just kinda cringe.
What's something that you've learned recently
that your younger self would have benefitted from?
You're a woman.
Obviously it would be lovely
to go to my younger self and say, um
have you -- have you considered
that maybe those thought's you're having
about wanting to be a woman
could mean that you're transgender
just
just -- just saying.
But I think
if was to, you know give some actual advice
it would be 'it's okay to change.'
It's a little unhelpful I guess to think
"Oh I wish I could go back and start this sooner!"
'cause obviously yeah, but also
like I can't, so I have to be happy with
um, having started it, you know more recently.
Having started it at all.
But just, yeah
being able to go back to my younger self and being like
"You can be whoever you want" you know
"Don't let anybody else's perception of you
"impact the person that you want to be."
um
"It's okay to explore yourself."
I just really wish I had cared less
about what other people think of me.
I really, really don't care these days
and it's great.
Anything you're anxious about coming back to YouTube?
Yeah.
The transphobes!
um
I know you're out there.
Thanks for watching!
I don't have anything else to say about that one.
Yes, I'm nervous coming back
I just didn't wanna pretend I wasn't.
What video games have you been playing?
Recently
um
I've ben playing Stardew Valley again
I started a new farm in Stardew
and I have been streaming Stardew on Twitch as well
for anyone who wants to check in on Frog Farm.
I have also been playing
a lot of
Beat Saber.
I...
I got really
I got -- I got really into
Beat Saber.
Are you working on anything new
that you're particularly excited about right now?
Yes.
I've started learning
how to make video games.
I've been learning Unity
and I've been making this 2D platformer game
and it's super generic
except for the character, who's a hot frog
she's um, she's just
she's hot.
I mean, I don't know what else to tell you.
I have been working on that
and I've been finding it incredibly creatively fulfilling
and, hopefully
one day
Hot Frog Adventure will see the light of day
but if not
I am just really enjoying making it.
Favourite film you've seen lately?
I'm just gonna say
Everything, Everywhere all at Once
which I fell like didn't come out super, super recently
but it came out last year
and it was my favourite film of last year
Loads of people raved about that movie, but
I -- I loved it to bits.
I loved watching a film
that shoved so many creative ideas in your face
but also had an incredible heart to it as well.
I wasn't like
"Here's a bunch of creativity
"to distract from the fact that we don't have an interesting story."
It had both.
Incredibly touching film
and just like, a visual marvel, and
if you haven't seen it then you just have to.
You just have to.
Would Fun Science still be a thing
you're interested to pursue?
One of the things that I want to
make clear as I kind of
sidestep back into YouTube
is I'm really not interested in
rehashing stuff that I've done previously.
If I was like
genuinely excited by the idea of
uh
rebooting Fun Science, for example
then I would do that.
But I currently am
much more excited
by the idea of
making something completely new.
Also
to be completely honest
I put a lot of work into the Fun Science videos
and, um
in the end, people were
not that interested in watching them
which is completely fine
but it does sort of make it difficult to justify making more.
Have you considered changing your name?
So I mentioned this at the top of the video
but I felt like it would be good to sort of
delve into a little bit more.
I have decided to keep my name
Charlie
and it does seem like some people are
confused, uh, by that.
I guess some people
expect that when somebody comes out as trans
that they will change their name
but
my -- I mean my legal name
is still Charles
and I do plan on changing that
but it almost feels like I kind of
picked my chosen name a long time ago, right?
Charlie is -- is a gender neutral name
there are just as many men
with the name Charlie as there are women.
There's no reason for me not to continue using it.
So, yeah.
My name is still Charlie
because Charlie is a girl's name
and
that's -- that's how that works.
How's Gideon doing?
Gideon?
pspspspsps
Gideon?
pspspspsps
When I pictured this part of the video in my head
I would be able to like
draw him out of wherever he is
so I could
show him on camera and
you would all go "Awww!"
"He's so cute!" but
I -- I have no idea where he is.
He's doing well, though.
He is so affectionate these days.
Every night when I get into bed
he comes up into bed with me
and he lets me spoon him
like a little
real living teddy bear
and it's -- it's very very cute.
I'm very lucky to have him in my life.
He does feature heavily on the Twitch streams.
We do -- we give him a little treat
every -- every stream
if you do wanna see more of Gideon
since he's not here today
I don't know where he is.
How is puberty part two going?
Yeah, um
in case anybody is curious about
uh
my transition, I have started puberty two.
If any of you are out there and you're questioning
whether or not you might be transgender
if the idea of going through a second puberty
actually makes you feel excited
it's possible you might be trans.
Yeah, I started HRT
four months ago
hormone replacement therapy, for anyone who doesn't know.
I mean, I don't know.
I've been having a lot more emotions than I used to
and, I'm trying to really see that as a good thing
as someone I think who was a
a little emotionally stunted.
But the body -- my body's changing
in ways that I enjoy
so that part of puberty two
uh
I am appreciating very much.
Are you enjoying doing Twitch streams?
Yes, is the answer.
I really didn't think I would be interested in doing like
anything content creation-wise
again after I quit YouTube.
But I have found Twitch to be
incredibly fulfilling.
Genuinely, I have connected
with the people who watch me
uh
on a deeper level through Twitch
than I feel like I was ever able to do on YouTube.
No offense YouTube.
But there is something about
the live interaction with people
um
that is just -- it's just special.
And I do also want to say like
if you're not interested in Twitch then
you don't have to come to the streams
it's completely fine
I know that the idea of watching
somebody play video games is
is not for everybody.
But, to the Twitch fam
you know who you are
and I appreciate you a lot
and thank you for watching my video.
It's nice to see you too.
Are you still doing screenwriting?
If so, what kind of stuff have you been working on?
I think the reason that this is a little scary
for me to talk about is like when I
left YouTube
I felt like it was very important
for me to quit YouTube and say
"I'm gonna go and do this other thing"
which for me was screenwriting, and like
be successful at that.
And I kind of, I guess put my eggs
in that basket instead
and I now realize that that
was kind of a damaging thing for me.
I mean, I definitely had some success with it.
I got to write a show that
people spent millions of dollars on and
Don Cheadle was in, like
it's not like I failed by any means.
But I think it's important for me now to be like
More screenwriting stuff
will happen if and when it happens
and that's fine.
The important thing for me right now
is to be creating stuff that I enjoy
making stuff that makes me happy
that I hope will make other people happy as well
if that medium is in Twitch streaming
if it's in screenwriting, if it's in film
um
if it's here on YouTube
if it's making little songs
on my gameboy looking
mother****er
um
Am I gonna swear in these videos? I don't know.
I just like making stuff
and -- and sharing it with people
and I hope that people like it
and that's it.
Anyway, I know this wasn't really
the question that was asked just like
"what are you working on writing-wise?" but
that is the honest answer to that question.
I would love to do more screenwriting
we'll just see if it happens.
How are you?
A lot of people asked this question
and I ignored it
for quite a while 'cause I was like
That's -- that's not really a question.
But it genuinely does seem like a lot of people
just wanna know like
how -- how are you, like
just generally speaking
and I'm doing good, man.
I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling more confident than I ever have.
I'm feeling happy
and, you know
and I'm not gonna pretend that life is like easy
but I'm excited by my life right now.
I feel like I'm living my life
right now
mmm, yeah
I don't feel like I was really
there for it before
and I feel like I'm in it now.
I'm present
and um
that feels pretty good man.
Yeah.
Most of -- most of these questions
I'd kind of figured out what I was gonna say
before I said it, and uh
that one I actually hadn't figured out
but yeah that
that's um
that's the truth
I wasn't really living my life until now.
Feels good to be living it.
Thank you very much for watching.
Bye bye.