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Today, we’re going to go over the 7 Parenting Mistakes That Could Mess You Up
Make sure to watch each one of them because your parents could make those mistakes!
Let’s face it—there are no perfect parents. We all have flaws and have a tendency to make mistakes.
Good parents take care of their child, try their best, and look for help when they
need it. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting because each child and
family is unique, there are several habits that parents may and should seek to avoid.
Unfortunately, parents are not always the greatest decision-makers,
and the choices they make when raising their children might leave them traumatized.
Sometimes these errors are genuine, unintentional mistakes made because they don't know any better,
while other times they are purposeful. Whatever the cause, the end result is frequently the same:
an unhappy youngster who carries their grief into adulthood. Find out if your parents have made any
mistakes that could have ruin your life. Here are 7 Parenting Mistakes That Could Mess You Up
Number 1 – Emotional neglecting
Emotional neglect occurs when a parent fails to respond appropriately to their child's emotional
needs. It differs from emotional abuse in that ignoring emotional needs may not be done on
purpose, and neglected children may have all of their basic needs met, such as food, shelter,
and health care. Their parents, on the other hand, can be cold and inattentive when it comes to their
emotions. Rather than offering children guidance and consolation, their parents advise them to
disregard their difficulties and stop talking about them. They fail to recognize their child's
emotional needs and instead leave them to deal with their own difficulties without even listening
to them as time passes. Those children may stop seeking advice and bury their issues even more.
Cognitive deficits, low self-esteem, and withdrawal from friends and hobbies are
all possible outcomes. They may develop post-traumatic stress disorder, depression,
psychological unavailability, and trust issues as adults as a result of this parenting mistake.
Number 2 – Arguing in front of you When you were a kid, do you recall your
parents arguing in front of you? Unfortunately, many of us fall into this category. Fighting is a
normal and healthy part of every relationship, but it may quickly escalate into a full-fledged fight
with yelling, name-calling, and even violent acts such as throwing or smashing things. It's much
worse when parents choose to ignore or listen to a child standing in front of them or hearing things
through the walls of their bedroom. The harmful impacts of a parent's conflict can affect children
as young as six months old, according to a study from the University of Oregon.
Negative effects, unfortunately, extend from childhood to adolescence. Listening or watching,
your parents argue, can generate insecurities, harm family relationships, and create a stressful
situation in which you have little chances to grow up happily. When you do grow up, you will
still be dealing with the long-term ramifications of the trauma you experienced. Additionally due to
this common parenting mistake you have a higher risk of depression and anxiety, more difficulty
controlling your attention and emotions, and you are prone to have dysfunctional relationships
and attachment issues, as well as physical issues such as sleeping or eating difficulties.
Number 3 - Requiring perfection This is also a very common parenting
mistake especially among families with successful lifestyles. Rather than seeing
everything your child does as wonderful, this parent sees everything they do as inadequate.
Parents that are stuck in this unsuccessful parenting method realize that their children
have amazing abilities; all they need to do is work harder to develop them.
So, what makes you think that would be ineffective? Because the perfectionist parent
could instill in you the expectation of failure. Why should you even attempt if you will never be
able to meet your parents' lofty expectations? When a child succeeds, the perfectionist parent
will frequently increase the bar, suggesting that their child can do even better next time.
Perfectionist parents often believe they have such a good understanding of their children
that they know exactly what they're thinking. They frequently anticipate the worst, sense
their child's apparently negative attitude even before the child speaks. Why isn't this working?
Unfortunately, if your parents did it to you, they were teaching you to hide your emotions,
and keep achievements to yourself. They basically trained you to
never be happy from your actions, and hence impeding you from realizing your full potential.
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Number 4 - Not leading by example A parent may have the best guidance in the world
for their children—tips on how to treat others, advice on how to act when they're in difficulties,
or sincere warnings to stay away from troubles. However, it is ineffective if parents simply
instruct their children to do these things rather than demonstrating it via their own actions.
"All too often parents tell their kids what to do instead of modeling the behavior," says Dr.
Richelle Whittakeran educational psychologist, mental health therapist and parent educator.
"Unfortunately, kids tend to mirror their parents' behavior more than they listen to what they tell
them.” He adds. If your parents made this mistake, you can have problems with building healthy,
wholesome relationships, solving your problems and getting yourself into trouble.
Number 5 - Projecting their goals onto you Parents usually want the best for their children,
but they may lose sight of the fact that what "best" means to them may not be the same as what
"best" means to their children. Parents can push their children to pursue the things they wish they
had done as children, whether it's professional goals, sports and extracurricular activities,
or social relationships, rather than allowing their children to figure out their own goals.
"Often we start thinking about our kids as our 'second chance' to succeed in accomplishing
those goals," says Lucia Giovannini, a doctor of psychology. If your parents were projecting their
goals onto you, you probably felt torn between what you would like to do and what your parents
want you to do. This indecisiveness could lead to future lack of confidence and low self-esteem.
Number 6 – Using physical punishment On how many occasions have you heard
a parent say that they spank, pull their children's ears, hit them with a belt,
or throw items at them to discipline them? And how many times have you heard mature
individuals tell you about how they were physically punished as children
and grew up to be successful adults? Perhaps they believe they turned out alright, but this is not
the case for many people who continue to suffer the effects of physical punishment. Children
psychologists strongly advise against any form of physical punishment, regardless of the situation.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AARP) advises parents and caregivers
to use appropriate forms of discipline instead of physical punishment. According to studies,
any form of physical punishment is unsuccessful in the long run and may exacerbate the problem,
harm the child's bond with his or her parents, and encourage aggressive behavior.
Number 7 – Not giving you enough freedom
Personal independence, like most things, becomes simpler to manage when it comes
along with practice. As a result, it's critical to give youngsters more freedom as they get older.
"While it's understandable that at an early age you would set boundaries, it's important to let
those boundaries expand over time” says Dr. Vinay Saranga, a child psychiatrist. Despite
the fact that this may initially cause fear for both parties, letting children "slowly build
their independence" is more effective than forcing them to learn it all at once in their adulthood.
This is a very common Parenting Mistake That Could Mess You Up because you will not be able
to make important decisions on your own because you were dependent on your parents whole life.
These videos will be really helpful for you!