Who are you going to vote for?
Ladies and gentlemen,
Welcome to the 2016 Presidential Debate.
Get your popcorn ready!
This is POLITICLASH!
*Five, six, seven, eight*
Hi, Hillary here
Woman up
Been in power for many a year
Spent a decade or three in political spheres
You say I'm just the first lady?
You're killing me here
Strolling up to the White House I never forget
The smell of carpe diem carpet bombs
And cieling the debt
Back when I operated Bill like a marionette
Sporting Gepetto stilettos
Taking on ghettos and terror threats
The real boy toyed with the wrong brunette
Pinocchioing poking around to get his wood wet
Still eight years running, didn't break a sweat
Left with my head on my shoulders
I'm no Marie Antoinette
My speed is breakneck, take checks
Won't apologize for the upset
Didn't die with my man
This ain't no Romeo-Juliet
Mama's back for the votes, call me suffragette
Forget Bill
I'm an á la carte oligarch
and I'm crushing it
Hi, Clinton is back
Suit up
In a pant suit and on the attack
Brute up
Protecting people from here to Iraq
Gonna pick up that torch from Barack
You can sing hallelujah
But I'm too much to handle
Forget Shonda Rhymes
I invented the scandal
Benghazi Nazi paparazzi come and stir up another fuss
Call TIME magazine
I'm the queen of the coverups
Gonna kick ass and take blames
Upper class, I'll take aim
Put Burnie in an urn
And fight the fanboy fanned flames
I'm hyper activist
The lion, elephant's nemesis
An emotional strategist
Black mamba, I'm venemous
Wrathful warrior pacifist
Channel Yahweh in Genesis
I'm the gaudiest godliest godless minimal feminist
I'm HRC
New election, new me
All hail the female in 2016
Uh, Hillary, uh, can I talk?
No?
Terrific.
Alright.
So we're supposed to elect you
Just because you're a woman
You're less likeable than Cruz
And he looks like a melting snowman
Such excitement for indictment
This email thing's a bad omen
Getting cold, better run to Putin
Before you get Snowden
Don't be alarmed, it's just me
The real Donald Trump
I'm here to smear to give your ladies
And your rating a bump
You pumped?
I'm the buyer's choice to make America great again
Mission's simple: give permisson
to let Americans hate again
Speaking of which, Obama's a muslim
Talk about foreign aid
Where was he born? Africa?
I popped out in suede
And hey, when life gave me millions
I made billionaide
Best served on ice with a plate
of Barack O'BBQ in the shade
*Money money money money*
Took my casino earnings
Brought some cash to the party
Just spent a weekend at Bernie's
And now we're crashing the parties
Poaching establishment voters
on a Ferrari safari
Talking a big game
Sipping on some fascist Bacardi
JK, I don't drink, I have self control
Unless you're not white, Rosie O'Donnell
or an internet troll
Blew up Republican politics
like the law was Sharia
Made Chris Christie my bitchie
Turned Carson into Madea
Ted held hands with Fiorina
While my fans filled arenas
Poor bruised abused Cruz
I stole his role in God's Not Dead 3-uh
Bernie baby take notes from a true inside outsider
You're a dumbfounded dumb founder
of a movement that floundered
Your camp can riot at my rallies
But don't show up to fight
Things get messy when teens
Start exercising their rights
The Jew has risen
Let's go.
So you're worth millions
Well I'm a meme, that's my net worth
I'm set, working the net
Go on and keep your networks
I'm gonna polarize ya, pulverize ya
Separate the truth from lies ya
Ya can't stop the young people
Bernie's gonna youthenize ya
I'm new and old fashioned
Hi, I'm Bernie Sanders
I came from the streets of Brooklyn
To be your chief commander
I meander gerrymandering
And slander from a witch
Which, by the by, is why I pitched a
Campaign for the no-rich niche
Funded by Americans
Bernie's Super PAC-less
No corruption, no greed
I'm like a ShamWow, no mess
Hit the campaign trail with black sails
Eff the Police
I'm freeing the black males
Stall white collars low ballers
From tipping cash to tip the scales
Gonna fill the jails with laymen
Hope their souls are worth the savings
Misbehave in the Caymans
Trump, you're gonna go to hell for your havens
Oh boy
Hey Satan, is this seat taken?
America's got a white collar craving
I'm the second most popular socialist Jew
Getting praised in this nation
If ya got a couple millions
You'll be revolushunned
I got 99 problems
But my percent ain't one
*P-A-I-N-T*
*subscribe*
*Jon/Hillary* Call Time Magazine, I'm the queen of the cover ups
Gonna kick ass and take blames,
Upper class, I'll take aim
Put Bernie in an urn and fight the fanboy fanned flames
I'm hyper activist, the lion, elephant's nemesis