So a year and a half ago,
I posted a video called, "AM I SEXY?"
Am I sexy? Does--Does one have to FEEL sexy to--to be sexy?
And--and do I have to TRY to be sexy?
Or can I just like wake up one day and "I'M SEXY TODAY. YEAH!"
And...overall the answer was no, I don't feel that way,
I've never felt that way, I feel like an alien in my own body.
What are you?
And I left that video a little open-ended
with how I was going to pursue
trying to gain this mysterious software they call "sexiness"
because it was sort of necessary in my occupation and my overall life.
18 months later,
Am I sexy?
Yes.
Yes, I fucking am.
I've got it, I downloaded it,
I leveled it up, that's me now.
And so I figured I'd make a video
following up to that,
and what various contributions I thought totalled me
now feeling comfortable in my own skin.
Because I feel like that's one of the biggest things
that females struggle with.
Maybe even males, I'm not a male, so I don't know.
I'll never know what a boner feels like..
Anyway, so you want to know how to be sexy?
Here are the steps that I took:
1. Find someone you find sexy.
For me that was a girl named Katie.
I thought Katie was the
BOMB
DOT
COM.
Katie did pole dancing, she did aerial silks,
she was gonna get her pilot's license,
I was like, "GIRL, YOU SO FINE YOU BLOWIN MY MIND RIGHT NOW."
2. Copy everything that person does.
I did all of the above activities except for pilots license
I opted for motorcycle license.
But now I want to get my pilot license
because Katie has one
and I want one too!
3. Work out.
I know we all hate working out
working out sucks, blah blah blah
No it doesn't!
Working out is great.
Yes, it is hard work,
but it gives you endorphins.
Endorphins make you happy.
Being happy
makes you feel confident.
Feeling confident
makes you feel sexy.
And I hate to be that person that's like,
"I love working out!"
because we all want to shoot that person in the face,
but just do it.
And that's it!
That's all I did for a year and a half
was that I worked out and I copied Katie
and I tried to feel good about myself,
and slowly but surely,
(softly) It happened. WOOOOOW
who would've guessed?
Good luck on your journey to sexiness.
(softly) I believe in you.
Stay awesome, Gotham.
Listen ladies, you sexy thing.
Use it--Look at the camera, Congress! You're not vlogging right!
Subtitles by Skylar Coland via Amara