Sergio Agüero retires...
Ladies and gentlemen, the rumours are true. I am officially retiring…
Once I realised how bad things were, I had no choice.
How bad things are with your heart?
- How bad things are with this club. - What?
- It’s an absolute mess. - Hahaha. He’s joking of course…
The pay-off we agreed said you can’t mention the real reason you are retiring.
Oh, I’m joking of course!
I am actually retiring to…
Concentrate on my Twitch channel! SLAKUN10! Check it-out!
- We agreed you’d say it was a heart issue… - What?
We agreed you’d say it was a heart issue…
Oh, I’m joking of course...
The real reason I’m retiring is because of...
A heart issue. The issue is my heart...
- ...Isn’t in Barcelona - What?
Ever since the day they tricked me into signing for them then binned off my bestie Leo!
- The agreement! - Oh screw the agreement!
I don’t need your 100 Euro hush money! I’m out of here!
I only played 5 games and only scored 1 goal, but I’m still not in the Worst 10 Transfers Barcelona have ever made!
I’m not even in the Worst 10 Transfers Barça have ever made this decade!
Mic-drop!
Er, I think Sergio is a little confused with all the medication he’s on.
Anyway, time to announce Agüero’s replacement!
Christian Eriksen!
What? Is there toilet paper on my arse or something?
We love Sergio so much...
So much that when he left, we talked about retiring his shirt number.
Then we thought... why not just retire his whole position?
That’s why we have played without a striker all season...
I wish he’d bloody retired in 2011…
Manchester City are still alive here!
Balotelli... Agüeroooo!
I swear you’ll never see anything like this ever again! So watch it! Drink it in!
Sergio, best of luck with...
I heard Sergio is retiring to focus on his gaming channel on Twitch.
If PSG get knocked out by Real Madrid in the Champions League, maybe I’ll join him.
I wish you nothing but the best, legend. And here is is some advice…
If Manchester City call and say they want to build a statue of you, say no…
I think they get local primary schools to make them.
Hey hey hey Sergio! Great news, PSG want to sign you on a free!
What? I can’t play anymore...
Oh don't worry, you don't have to play.
Just come in and watch training every day then sit on the bench on matchdays. Just like Genie Wijnaldum does…
An Argentinean that announces his retirement and doesn’t change his mind 5 minutes later? How refreshing!
Best of luck brother! And thanks for all the shooting tips.
Maybe one day they’ll pay off.
Best of luc...
Congrats on an amazing career Sergio! 184 Premier League goals. Respect.
It will be a great honour to overtake your tally.
I’m only 17 goals behind but given my current scoring rate, I won’t catch you until 2038.
Unless I sign for Man City in January!
Not a chance!
Sergio! I’m so lucky to have been your teammate!
I’ve decided to do something really special in your honour…
A third eyebrow line… I don’t do that for everyone mate!
Best of luck Sergio!
Good luck Sergio!
I’m sorry all those idiots on Twitter started a who is better - Primer Aguero or Primer Suarez!
I mean, it’s not even a debate right? But at least you came second.
Good luck with your retirement, Divock!
What, this is a message for Sergio Agüero.
Oh, so that’s who you meant when you said record a message for the deadliest striker the Premier League has ever seen!
It’s an easy mistake to make! Let’s go again!
Sergio, it was an honour to play with you.
- Oh, as the actress said to the bishop. - What on earth does that mean Thomas?
- It means it sounded rude! - What did?
You said it was an honour to "play with him".
- What? Are you 12? - Inches? Ja! Hahahaha!
- Can we record this again? - Sure! - SPOIL-SPORTS!
No way!
I think Diego Maradona is throwing me a retirement party in heaven!
I’m truly humbled…