Where does London stop and the terrifying provincial nothingness begin?
Is it the end of the Tube?
Is it the M25?
Is it the end of London's postcode area?
If you must know, it's none of these.
London's phone code, postcode and so on were set up at different times by different people
for different purposes. So where does London officially stop?
The answer is right here, at the edge of the Greater London boundary.
But why is it here and not, say, several metres to the left? Who drew this boundary and when?
And what difference does it make if you live inside it or not?
And why does this bit stick out here?
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Greater London has been this shape and this size since 1965.
But to understand why, you need to look at what London was like in 1964.
Of the eight or so million people who considered themselves Londoners,
as in, they commuted to London, watched London TV and read London newspapers,
fewer than half of them actually technically legally officially lived *IN* London.
The County of London, as it was then known, was drawn up way back in 1889
in the shape of a rhinoceros to reflect how big London had grown at that time.
But it had long since burst its borders... making the rhinoceros out of date.
This meant that suburbanites were using London's resources
without paying any taxes to the London County Council, whose job was to run the whole metropolis.
And that wasn't fair.
So a new border was needed that would subsume all of these new suburbs.
The man asked nicely to draw the new border was Sir Edwin Herbert
- Hello, I'm Sir Edwin Herbert. - Could you draw a new border for London please?
- Yes.
He assembled a crack team, including the Vice Chancellor of the University of Leeds,
The President of the Institute of Chartered Accountants,
Professor of Government from the University of Manchester,
and the man who owned the Cadburys chocolate factory in Birmingham.
The commission was notable for not containing anyone with previous involvement with local government in the London area.
Creating an up-to-date border was trickier than it sounds.
London didn't have an obvious edge like many other European cities, it sort of sputtered out gradually.
So drawing a line around it was going to be more of an art than a science.
Never-the-nonetheless, Herbert came up with three scientific tests
to work out whether a suburb was a suburb or not.
1. Was it an easy commute to central London?
If a place was within about an hour's reach of the West End by train, it was deemed to pass the first test.
2. Was it independent?
Some places like Watford, Dartford and Slough, despite being close to London,
functioned not as suburbs, but as proper towns in their own right,
with proper shops, businesses, and entertainment, bringing people in from miles around.
3. Did the local population look towards London or away from London for its cultural identity?
This subjective and nebulous question was the hardest to answer and probably just involved asking people.
- What?
Herbert's team spent the best part of the late 50s on an exhaustive tour of boring suburbia.
And when they came back, they handed Sir Edwin Herbert their results...
- Thank you.
...and this is the border he came up with for the new Greater London.
But that's not the familiar shape of Greater London that we know and love today. So, what happened?
In posh places like Epsom, despite being the epitome of London suburbia,
the locals were worried that if they joined the new Greater London, they'd have to pay more tax.
So they kicked up a stink, pledging allegiance to Surrey.
The same thing was happening at the other end, in posh Chigwell in Essex,
and posh Knockholt in Kent.
The wealthy stink-up-kickers, as usual, got what they wanted.
So the border had to be redrawn in a totally illogical way that arbitrarily split the suburbs in two.
The only place that didn't seem to mind being in Greater London was Chessington World of Adventures.
And that's how they settled on this final and now familiar shape.
The London County Council would be abolished, and replaced by the Greater London Council.
London was also divided into 32 new boroughs. But that's a story for another time.
On the 1st of April 1965, four and a half million people woke up as Londoners for the first time
and this caused some confusion.
Take, for example, Romford. If you were a Romford resident, your council changed but your address didn't.
It still said "Essex" on your envelopes. So were you still in Essex or not?
Technically, the Home Counties around the outside of London all got smaller in 1965.
Surrey lost a massive chunk, which bizarrely included Surrey County Hall in Kingston
which, even more bizarrely, continues to run Surrey to this day despite not being in it.
- Oi! Pay your council tax! - Why don't you come over here and make me?
But one county had the worst luck of them all.
Poor old Middlesex, already lumbered with a funny name, was gobbled up almost entirely by Greater London
and the remaining bits were ceded to neighbouring Surrey and Hertfordshire.
As a result, since 1965, Middlesex is no longer a thing. And the name lives on only on envelopes and in cricket.
This is what gives Romford residents an identity crisis.
Ceremonially, historically, in their accents, and perhaps in their souls, they're Essex boys and girls,
but legally, politically, officially, they're Londoners, whether they like it or not.
So why does this matter? What are the benefits of living in Greater London today?
And why might you be hacked off if you live just outside the border?
One big factor is transport.
On London buses, you can pay by contactless, and take advantage of the 2-for-1 Hopper Fare.
Whereas buses in the Home Counties are patchy and much more expensive.
And it's not just buses that are better.
When I turned 60, I got a 60+ Oyster card, which means I can travel anywhere in London for free.
Whereas my friend Jill who lives over the border in Hertfordshire has to pay thousands for a season ticket.
More important than all of this is democracy. If you live inside the Greater London boundary
you get to take part in elections for the London Assembly and the Mayor of London.
Think this doesn't matter? Look at the Metropolitan line.
Fast trains to Amersham were cancelled by Boris Johnson in 2012
And the planned extension to Watford Junction was cancelled by Sadiq Khan in 2016.
Would these things have happened if the locals had a chance to vote the mayor out?
Does anything need to be done about this?
After all, the border of what counts as London has changed time and time again since the Romans.
So now, 50-something years since Greater London was invented, is it time to look at those borders again?
London may have stopped physically sprawling outwards when the Green Belt was introduced
in the 30s, but the capital's influence is still very expanding indeed.
People are now commuting into London from further than ever before as they seek cheaper housing.
Shouldn't these people have a say in how the city they depend on is run?
And then there's the six airports, only two of which are in Greater London. Is it about time that changed?
In the end, it's not really important.
In a world where borders are worryingly starting to matter more than ever before,
this one that we've been discussing is thankfully quite a benign one.
It's not as if Greater London is a city state that you need a passport to get into...
yet.
So for now, depending on how you live, work, shop and feel,
the line where London stops and the outside world begins is entirely up to you.
And no matter where the official boundary is officially drawn,
there will always be people who feel like they're on the wrong side.
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