>> This episode of Modern Rogue brought to you
by friends of our Squarespace.
>> Go to squarespace.com/rogue
and get 10% off your first purchase.
>> Yeah, you take that 10% off
and you throw it in your boss's face and say,
"Ha, ha," and they can quit your job I guess
I don't know, where was that going?
>> Bah!
>> Why would you do that to your boss?
>> Yeah. >> Yeah.
would you dial it back? >> Why would you do that?
>> That's irresponsible. >> That isn't necessary.
>> Don't do that.
>> You shouldn't have done that.
Shame on you. >> Yeah, be nice to people.
Come on, compassion and love. >> Show your best side.
>> And love. >> Apologizing.
>> Do your job too, slacker.
[giggles]
>> What is the number one most likely scenario
in which you or I get abducted.
>> Aliens.
>> Okay, number two [laughs] most likely.
>> A crazed viewer, we did something really wrong
or differently than they would do it.
>> I think it's somebody who wants your pants.
>> Somebody who wants my pants.
>> Yeah, and like not just the ones you're wearing,
"You're going to give me all the pants, see [laughs]
"coz I'm from the 1940s see."
>> When you pry them from my cold dead thighs.
>> Thighs [laughs].
[upbeat music]
All right Murphy, I do know a little bit
about concealing sneaky gizmos
we got the ring with the escape device for handcuffs
and you could also saw your way out of zip ties.
We've got covert coins, hide SD cards or whatever
but let me make it clear this is one of those episodes
where I don't know what's about to happen.
All you told me is like, "I'm going to conceal
"a bunch of stuff on my body."
So I don't know just how much of a very special episode
this is about to be.
>> It's going to be educated.
[laughing]
Just get that out of the way right now.
So I have multiple devices concealed on my body,
multiple tools that would allow me or help me escape.
This is from 100 Deadly Skills written by Clint Emerson.
>> Right.
>> Which we have tapped into a number of times.
These are generally for if you're behind enemy lines,
and you've been captured by the enemy
and thrown into some dark hole
or something like that. >> Okay.
All right, all right, all right.
So at this point, if I'm a bad guy,
I have you at gunpoint,
you put your arms up. >> Yep.
>> First thing I'm going to do
is check you for weapons, right?
>> Yeah.
>> I guess this is the part where I touch you.
>> You don't have to.
I'm going to give you some guides.
>> Okay [laughs].
Hard pass, right? >> Yeah, no.
>> Hard pass on you touching me [laughs].
>> Not necessary for the episode.
>> Ah, okay.
>> All of these will work even if you're strip searched.
>> Okay, really?
>> Yes.
So I don't have anything like, you know in my pockets
or tucked into my boots or anything like that.
>> I mean. >> I think for patrons
we're going to have a strip search, right.
[laughing]
But of course.
>> Somebody grabs you
they pat you down >> Yeah.
>> And they're not going to feel any weapons of any variety.
You could be locked up in a cell
you could be locked in handcuffs, you could be zip tied.
You could have a bolted steel cable to you
or something like that. >> Yeah.
>> And it sounds like you seem somewhat prepared
for each of these scenarios.
>> I got a lot of options
and a lot of these are, they're really
just kind of barely hidden.
Some of them are kind of hidden in plain sight.
The first one this is kind of the easiest one right?
This these medical adhesive.
>> What the.
[beeping]
>> To put this in my hairline.
>> You have, you, how long have you been wearing that?
>> Since this morning.
>> No, the whole time
that we're here? >> Yeah.
>> How are you, I can't believe it, the whole time.
Are, you have liars eyes.
[Jason laughing]
The whole time we were just hanging out talking GI Joe
and you've been prepped to escape.
>> It's been up there for hours.
And I just kind of forgot about it.
>> Well, so what is it?
>> This is a razor blade from a disposable razor.
>> No way!
>> Glued to my head with medical adhesive, okay so.
>> What is medical adhesive?
>> It's a prosaic used for.
>> I just am terrified you're going to slice your face.
>> Well then, no see this is just a
it's just a razor blade from an actual disposable razor.
[soft music]
>> Oh my god that's amazing.
Okay, so it looks like you had tape on both sides
I assume to protect your skin right?
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> And then what is what is this flesh colored stuff?
>> This is just liquid latex often used
in effects makeup and stuff like that.
>> Just for like prosthetics. >> Yeah.
>> Wait, did you paint that on, or?
>> Yeah, actually, we just.
>> Coz it looks like almost like a band aid or so.
Oh, yeah, I guess it is just latex.
>> Yeah, it was just painted on over the blade itself
and then now, used a little bit of medical adhesive
to make sure it stuck.
>> I wonder if there's something we could cut.
>> Probably.
>> Ooh, you peel back your hair, you get this
and then when they're not looking, you walk up
and you go.
>> Oh, ho, ho!
>> Did it just slice her?
>> Yeah, you just nearly killed him!
[laughing loudly]
>> Oh my god!
>> That is a GIF.
[Jason clapping]
>> Oh, that's horrible.
100% in, in. >> Right?
>> Yep, totally. >> Okay.
>> That's amazing, oh, I feel bad
for [mumbles]. >> Oh no!
But look at that.
>> Yeah. >> That just.
>> Okay, all right, effective, effective 100%.
>> So the next one.
>> Yeah.
>> No one likes touching a bloody bandage.
>> Oh, that's brilliant, so you take advantage
of the cultural taboo of touching
somebody's gross infected flesh and you get captured
at war nobody's going to be all like,
"Hey, why don't you peel that off and poke them?"
It's like, no, they'll be just more trouble.
>> Yeah.
>> And so what's inside.
>> Whoa, this is a, yeah,
this is a twofer.
So first of all handcuff key which works on most handcuffs
and yes, I know that police officers
have special you know, keys, but this will open
just about all handcuffs out there.
>> Yep, and you know what this is.
>> Yeah, this is the micro escape shim
which is basically you can use it to shim
a police issued handcuff
or that serrated edge makes it so you can saw
your way out of zip ties.
I'm sure yourself tied up.
>> Yeah.
>> Would you be able to get to that?
Do you think?
>> Well, that's the thing.
I just put it here arbitrarily.
You can put it on your leg.
I debated with putting it on, like my lower leg.
>> Even in, I bet you could reach over it's close enough.
You could reach over
and with your mouth. >> Oh yeah.
>> You know, sort of bite it and whip it up.
That's amazing. >> Yeah.
But nobody wants to touch a bloody bandage, right?
>> Yeah I know, that's great.
I love the camouflage of it being something
that everybody can see but nobody wants to interact with.
>> Yeah.
>> That's very clever.
>> So right now we've got the razor blade,
the handcuff key and the shim.
>> So we're going to say the razor blade
takes care of your guards.
The key takes care of the handcuffs
the shim takes care of the zip ties
that they put on your leg or whatever,
or I would imagine that the serrated edge
on the micro escape tool might be effective
even if you had like a not giant chains
but like a thin you know wire thing
that you're, there because
that's what. >> Oh yeah.
>> At times they'll bolt like a wire on there.
>> Oh yeah, like a cable coded
rubber, plastic or whatever. >> Yeah, yeah correct.
Exactly. >> Right.
>> You saw through that entire thing
and then you could just bend and break the cable.
>> Almost like a leash.
>> Yeah.
>> Next up.
So this okay, I can already tell
this is more of that liquid latex.
And this is yeah, it's really just kind of a really
half beep fake scar.
>> This was done in like five minutes, right.
>> Okay, true story, before we started shooting,
we were talking about my hand scar.
And I saw that I was like, wait, what happened to you?
And you were like, "Don't worry about it, it's fine."
And I was like, "Bro, okay,"
and then I totally would have bought
that was a scar already.
>> Yeah, and it doesn't hold up to close scrutiny,
but you can spend a little time with it and make sure
that it does, right. >> Yeah.
>> And so this is more of that liquid latex
with some makeup on it to kind of blend it with
my ghostly power, pull this off, and we've got
an exactor blade.
>> Oh my god!
So this is a different tool for a different job.
So you did the same thing it looks like
it's covered on. >> Latex tape.
>> On the both sides and an exactor blade makes it possible
to do very different things, including
making a very effective stabby weapon.
>> Yeah.
>> In a way that the disposable razor blade might not.
And of course you can use it to craft other things.
Like imagine if you had time left unattended
in a cell, you would be able to, I don't know,
break off pieces of wood, make them into spears.
You talked about people who busted out of prison
by creating replicas, what looked like guns,
and if people would see a gun and they're like, "Oh."
I guess I'm done.
I probably shouldn't be swinging this over by you.
But with an exactor blade and patience and time
and being left unattended you could sculpt something
into what looks like a gun and bluff your way out.
>> Oh yeah, there's all sorts of stuff that you can do.
If you're resourceful enough with these.
I think that would be enough.
>> Oh absolutely.
Oh, oh. >> What?
>> That's the kind of thing you say
right before you drop the bomb.
>> Yes.
>> What do you got, what do you got?
>> So you've got me, you've stripped searched me.
I'm naked, picture it, go ahead.
>> I can't not do that now. >> Completely.
Completely naked, bound.
So you think oh, surely there couldn't
be anything else, right?
Where is the last place you can hide something?
>> It's easy, is there a thing in your butt?
Is there a. >> No
but in this scenario, yes.
>> Okay [laughs].
Oh my god, it's a.
[laughing loudly]
>> It's your common cigarette tube, right.
>> All right, yeah.
So a cigarette to in the butt,
you're right. >> Yep.
>> Why is there a hole in it?
>> You shall learn all about
this diabolical device very soon.
>> What is going on?
>> So let's go ahead and just dump it out.
Got a little nail in there, I'll explain that in a minute.
We've got just in case, little hear burette
so you can use that to pick locks?
>> That is if you didn't have enough already.
>> And we also found some marginal tool
for defending yourself.
>> That's right [laughs] yeah, exactly.
>> Slightly better than your fists maybe.
Okay, so there's a lot of things wrapped up in here.
>> Oh yeah, for good luck and to keep your spirits raised.
That's what yo MTV Raps MC Hammer card.
It's probably pretty valuable.
So, you know, just if you need some spiritual guidance
behind enemy lines, you can't touch this.
>> This isn't real.
Yo, MTV Raps trading card [laughs].
>> Just in case.
You never know.
>> So you post this on the wall for guidance [laughs].
>> Yeah, that's your shrine.
>> You pray to Hammer [laughs].
>> That's right and you can also say,
MC Hammer has been in your butt.
[Brian laughing]
>> Ah, oh, secret message.
>> Secret message.
>> It's a YouTube URL.
>> Why do I feel like this is going to be example show [laughs].
>> I don't know why you would think that Brian.
Okay, so you can keep secret, message secret instructions.
>> Yeah.
>> And wrapped around this is.
>> A map.
>> Oh, great, yeah, of course.
So tactical, so like, let's say like,
Oh, that's a really good point
because once you get taken out,
you're not going to
have the internet. >> Right.
>> You're not going to
have a cell phone. >> Right.
You put a map in there. >> You're going to need
information.
Information is the most valuable thing
that you're going to be denied
and that you need upon escape.
>> Yeah, and if you have a micro compass,
you can put that in there, but this will have to do
now this won't be a much help to you
because that's the Marauders Map from Harry Potter.
[Brian laughing]
So.
>> Well, then you put it up next to MC hammer.
>> Yeah, yeah.
>> Okay, so what do you do?
Oh my god, I think I figured it out.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh my god, this is this is a stabby weapon.
If I'm guessing you keep the dowel in there.
You push this.
This is the reason for the hole.
Oh my god.
>> You got a makeshift ice pick.
>> Yeah.
>> It's a little unsteady, because
the dowel rod shifts
and everything. >> Sure
>> But. >> Oh my god.
Let's get Dave, Dave.
Ah ha, Dave, you shouldn't have left me unattended
because the spirit of Hammer has come over me
and now, you!
[laughing loudly]
He just says, "I don't care for the music of MC Hammer."
>> That's why you had to die, my friend.
>> Oh my god it just, yes, get him this here.
Oh, it's fine.
[Jason laughing]
>> Leave it, leave it, >> Oh, yep, yep, yep.
>> Leave it, leave it.
>> Super effective.
>> Yeah.
>> Super effective.
>> You can also put money in there or a micro compass
or all sorts of other things you can fit or micro SD card.
Yeah, all sorts of things.
>> This is an astonishing assortment
and just on four different parts of your body,
you got to feel like nobody would find all four.
Also, let's make it clear.
We're not experts on what's safe to put rectally.
Of course, I don't even know
whether it's safe to tape razorblades to your face [laughs].
>> Probably not the best thing.
>> Let's just make it clear that all of these would be
items of last resort or if you're in a genuine
dangerous situation, that that these are all possibilities
and in my opinion, my goodness, much more effective
than I would expect.
>> You want to try it?
>> I mean I did, I stabbed him in the eye.
>> You know what I mean.
>> It's going to get infected.
>> It's probably going to get real infected.
Sorry Dave.
You had this coming.
>> Do you hear that?
>> What?
>> It's like a rumbling sound like thousands of feet
foot traffic, it sounds like fricking bison
in a stampede you know what that sound is?
>> No, I don't understand where you're going with this.
>> The fricking traffic heading over
to themodernrogue.com.
>> Yeah.
>> It just keeps on growing dude John Cheese
is utterly killing it as editor in chief.
>> We didn't pay $100000, $200000 to develop a new website.
I know people that have done that.
And I think it's really stupid.
I'm going to tell him, I'm going to call him up right now
and be like, "We didn't spend anything you beep,
"you
[beeping]
"beep, what's wrong with you?"
And then I'd throw him, the phone at him
and then somebody standing in front of him.
I'm going to call him and throw the phone.
And then I'm going to go to squarespace.com/rogue
10% I quit.
>> You can imagine [laughs] very easy to make
good looking websites that anybody could do.
And that because of their distributed hosting,
they're able to handle all of that traffic
they're going to get.
>> The integrated tools are actually really intuitive
and easy to use your beep.
[laughing loudly]
squarespace.com/rogue
>> You get 10% off you get a free trial.
>> Free trial.
>> Once you try, once you see how to make
a beautiful, good looking website.
You're going to be with Squarespace
just like we are [laughs].
>> Yeah, we have a lot of traffic on there growing every day.
>> Sure do.
>> You beep.
[laughing loudly]
>> So I suppose.
I suppose [mumbles] >> One more?
>> Nope, that's it. >> That's all.
That's the one?